sorry for the little rant here, 10mgs of amphetamine and 2700mg of gabapentin has me typing like crazy...
i used opiates almost everyday for almost 10 years. ecp heroin, oxycodone, oxymorphone, dilaudid, hydrocodone, strong poppy seed tea.... finally wanted help getting off so i went to a dr. for suboxone program. it was about 30 hours since i made my last heavy batch of poppy seed tea - 3lbs worth, so strong it still showed up in my piss about 90 hours later (though i didnt feel high from it at all - which is why i want off this merri-go-round).... anyway, by the time the doc gave me the 8mg sub i was sweating & shaking, not full blown agony but bad enough. i take the 8mg sub and 2 hours later feel normal - no sweating, no shitting, no vomitting, no shakes.... but also NO buzz at all. none. i was just amazed i wasn't sick. that in itself i found amazing. but kinda bummed there was no buzz at all. that leaves me restless, and thinking... so i thought "maybe i'll feel better then just ok if i take 12mg's of sub" - but again no high at all, and to my surprise no noticable difference from 8mg. took 4mg the next day. no noticable difference from the 12mg. still not sick. still no high. took the prescribed dosage of 8mg a day for about a week. so now i am trying to taper of the suboxone. i dont want to be physically dependant on anything and i think i can do this. after 10 years ive learned my lesson - i dont ever want to be taking opiates everyday and feeling no buzz. addiction sucks... which includes suboxone. i think i have been on it for a short enough period where it acted like an aid to get through the withdrawal from the huge amount of opiates i was taking. doe that sound logical? i am going to try to get off the subs as soon as possible. i didn't take any sub yet today and feel fine. last dose was 4mg over 30 hours ago. i am going to wait until i feel shitty then take 2mg. i plan on taking no more then 2mg and only when i need it. part of me wants to take no opiates or suboxone at all. mentally i feel like since i havent been high or sick in 2 weeks i am thinking i can finally get off all this shit once and for all. i hope this is not a mental illusion.
anyone think that this plan is just prolonging the inevitable - horrendously ill in w/d for days - or is there any advice for helping me get off opiates totally using what meds i have in a taper plan? i have about 32mgs of suboxone left, a ton of clonidine, immodium, hydroxyzine, gabapentin. is taking the suboxone only when i need it a bad plan? or should i take it everyday in incremently smaller doses at the same time every day? or am i ok just taking small pieces when i need it and eventually - hopefully -wont need it at all one day?
i used opiates almost everyday for almost 10 years. ecp heroin, oxycodone, oxymorphone, dilaudid, hydrocodone, strong poppy seed tea.... finally wanted help getting off so i went to a dr. for suboxone program. it was about 30 hours since i made my last heavy batch of poppy seed tea - 3lbs worth, so strong it still showed up in my piss about 90 hours later (though i didnt feel high from it at all - which is why i want off this merri-go-round).... anyway, by the time the doc gave me the 8mg sub i was sweating & shaking, not full blown agony but bad enough. i take the 8mg sub and 2 hours later feel normal - no sweating, no shitting, no vomitting, no shakes.... but also NO buzz at all. none. i was just amazed i wasn't sick. that in itself i found amazing. but kinda bummed there was no buzz at all. that leaves me restless, and thinking... so i thought "maybe i'll feel better then just ok if i take 12mg's of sub" - but again no high at all, and to my surprise no noticable difference from 8mg. took 4mg the next day. no noticable difference from the 12mg. still not sick. still no high. took the prescribed dosage of 8mg a day for about a week. so now i am trying to taper of the suboxone. i dont want to be physically dependant on anything and i think i can do this. after 10 years ive learned my lesson - i dont ever want to be taking opiates everyday and feeling no buzz. addiction sucks... which includes suboxone. i think i have been on it for a short enough period where it acted like an aid to get through the withdrawal from the huge amount of opiates i was taking. doe that sound logical? i am going to try to get off the subs as soon as possible. i didn't take any sub yet today and feel fine. last dose was 4mg over 30 hours ago. i am going to wait until i feel shitty then take 2mg. i plan on taking no more then 2mg and only when i need it. part of me wants to take no opiates or suboxone at all. mentally i feel like since i havent been high or sick in 2 weeks i am thinking i can finally get off all this shit once and for all. i hope this is not a mental illusion.
anyone think that this plan is just prolonging the inevitable - horrendously ill in w/d for days - or is there any advice for helping me get off opiates totally using what meds i have in a taper plan? i have about 32mgs of suboxone left, a ton of clonidine, immodium, hydroxyzine, gabapentin. is taking the suboxone only when i need it a bad plan? or should i take it everyday in incremently smaller doses at the same time every day? or am i ok just taking small pieces when i need it and eventually - hopefully -wont need it at all one day?