• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Mental Health Support?

Coffeeshroom

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
4,090
Is there any real support, i have seen numerous threads where people ask for help and info and 60% of the time there is some real good support or info for that specific person and as for the rest, it's either not taken seriously or a repeat of the same things over and over or the person gets mocked or blown off, regardless of the place he/she posted it. Yes i know there is a certain "protocol" that is suggested or followed when it comes to certain drugs but at the same time you also advice or mention that not everything works the same with any individual. So that there is already a dbl edge sword. And with this it makes the person asking for help or advice feel inferior and to the point they don't see the point in asking for help or advice. Yes i know we not doctors or shrinks or this or that but i do know that a lot of members have some superior knowledge, sometimes even more so then a person qualified in that field to give advice.

I have only been a proper member on this site for a few years now and been lurking a few before that, but i feel ( and this is only my personal opinion) that the HR or just overall help on this site has decreased. I myself that know a little here and there but cautious of what i post as you sometimes get laughed, categorized, found stupid, lazy, incompetent and so on and on.

I love this site but i feel like it's going backwards and im only saying this as a member that loves the community of this site and it's people and don't want it turning into another reddit site if you know what i mean.

I myself need help and input but don't feel like posting cause of the way things are.

If i get shamed or bullied or just ignored it's fine but this is what i have come to notice and im not the only one but i want to speak up for those who won't. Some of us really need a 3rd party input or advice even if it is just to take it further with a real professional. I really hope this post will be seen ina positive light and not a negative way.

Much Love as always

Coffeeshroom
 
My best advice is...Nobody cares. You got to love yourself before others will love you. Always strive to be your best self.
 
pandemic woes. Humans are social beings. It's good to connect with like minded individuals.
 
I agree. I've actually been on here since 2010ish and the last few years I have seen moderators roll over people so badly that I would never ask for advice about anything specific any more that would have once been in the spirit of BL

[edit: I'm only mentioning moderation because there always have and will be dipshits who stick their dicks where they don't belong or deliberately mislead HR seekers.. you have to know that and spot it]
 
I care. I think there are still people on here that haven't become jaded and are still interested in HR and helping others in a general sense.

I'll admit that I'm not able to respond to everything by any means, a lot of that has to do with me not being sure what exactly to say to people and not wanting to pass off empty cliches as individualized advice.

I've seen a couple people mention that BL has lost sight of it's HR mission recently. I think some people are using the site like they would any other social media. Just a spot to banter and make online friends. But I think most of the mods I know are still worried about giving good HR.

But I understand where you're coming from and have had some of the same concerns. I don't consider myself above any other Bluelighter and am open to constructive criticism and/or suggestions as to how to make the forums I mod more helpful for HR.
 
Yeah, and those people using it as a place to puke the contents of their dimly lit frontal lobes out onto anyone and everyone have come and will go. The core will stay.

Twitter, a good example of a chronic problem with 'brain diarrhea' because of their originally ingenius model.

Thanks for weighing in, by the way.
 
Sometimes they need tough love, sometimes something heartfelt. Then I get drinking and unleash nonsense. SO, soory.
 
All I personally ever want to see on any online chat/board/bbs/community/SM (yeah I am old enough to have had a 110 ACOU back in the day)

...

is respectful demeanor. Swim with respect, sink without it, seen it happen to every platform.
 
Hi @Coffeeshroom thanks for making this thread.

It sucks to hear that you don't feel welcome to post something important to you..

Currently MH is not very active in regards to moderator contribution, if that's what you've noticed. I do volunteer in this part of the site though, and it is frankly sad to hear you don't feel like you can post something that you'd like to.

It all starts and ends with Bluelighters though (some who have moderator duties). It's not a pussy move to contact admins with any problems you have with Bluelighters.

I'm not sure what else to say, Coffeeshroom, because it's hard not to take something like this personally when it falls on my lap.

Some moderators have a more hands on approach, which is what i guess you're looking for.

I'm not going to get defensive about this. But, i will say, it would be nice to have someone like you who has HR on their mind contribute more to BL.

HR advises can be given by anyone.
 
Also just wanted to say im keeping the thread open for you but if it turns into a battle ground ill have to close it.

I do appreciate you shedding light.
 
Morning Blue World.

MOrning @madness00, Thanks for taking the time to read this. I made thread actually to make everyone aware not just the mods. It just doesn't feel safe most off the time to post anymore, cause of snarky or sarcastic replies or trolling and i know this is all fair game in the Lounge but not here or other places where HR is the key. I have seen a lot of people on here asking for advice and input and they just the same answer as anyone else or get trolled or so on and on.

I guess I would like from the mods to be a little more aware of how people are getting treated and the members themselves to have a little more sympathy eith posters and try not to always just go one route. Fuck this is hard to explain as im not pointing fingers to mods or members but more the site it self. Feels in away that it is going backwards and not forward. I love this site for more then Drug info and such but also the community and having people to talk to and share things and get help or a new insight or way of looking at things that is your problem atm or the situation you are in

I have even had people pm and ask questions cause they don't want to open a thread cause they scared of getting trolled or ignored or just getting pushed a side. I like helping out where i can and share the little bit of knowledge i have and that only comes from person use and history, so i can only offer so much. So I just want this site to be more open again towards there members and helpfull.

Plus if this does become a fighting ground then im asking you to please close it, cause that not what i want. I jst wanted to bring some stuff that i noticed to attention to everyone. Once again im not pointing fingers.
Plus i think this thread is dead already. But i hope something positive comes from it.

Much Love

Coffeeshroom
 
Maybe worth reporting the posts you find unhelpful?

And fuck the haters and just post what's on your mind / whatever you're struggling with?

I know some answers can pretty unhelpful, but at least you've got anonymity on your side here so could be a helpful first step in seeking help for whatever you're going through.
 
Morning Blue World.

MOrning @madness00, Thanks for taking the time to read this. I made thread actually to make everyone aware not just the mods. It just doesn't feel safe most off the time to post anymore, cause of snarky or sarcastic replies or trolling and i know this is all fair game in the Lounge but not here or other places where HR is the key. I have seen a lot of people on here asking for advice and input and they just the same answer as anyone else or get trolled or so on and on.

I guess I would like from the mods to be a little more aware of how people are getting treated and the members themselves to have a little more sympathy eith posters and try not to always just go one route. Fuck this is hard to explain as im not pointing fingers to mods or members but more the site it self. Feels in away that it is going backwards and not forward. I love this site for more then Drug info and such but also the community and having people to talk to and share things and get help or a new insight or way of looking at things that is your problem atm or the situation you are in

I have even had people pm and ask questions cause they don't want to open a thread cause they scared of getting trolled or ignored or just getting pushed a side. I like helping out where i can and share the little bit of knowledge i have and that only comes from person use and history, so i can only offer so much. So I just want this site to be more open again towards there members and helpfull.

Plus if this does become a fighting ground then im asking you to please close it, cause that not what i want. I jst wanted to bring some stuff that i noticed to attention to everyone. Once again im not pointing fingers.
Plus i think this thread is dead already. But i hope something positive comes from it.

Much Love

Coffeeshroom

FWIW, i have only been here since 2018, but I've been told thing's weren't as lax in the past. We tend to give people multiple chances to correct their behavior, but if you see someone who is harassing people and trolling to the point where it's against the rules, making you feel uncomfortable, by all means make it known to the mods. Things brought up by non staff often are looked at even harder than mod reports - At least from what I've seen - because we want to have good community and not have people feel like you do about the HR.

Holy shit i wrote a text block.

But yeah man thanks again. Speaking up can be hard.
 
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes tone can be misinterpreted and miscommunication arises from simple text, as opposed to all of the cues of in-person communication. I would never want to silence someone, but I do think that people should present their opinions in a polite manner.
 
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