Struggling? 15 30MG Oxycodone a day / STASH FLUSHED / Cold turkey unsupervised with NO other meds

[ADHDMY4SS]

no weed, no liquor, no nothing. No methadone. ZILCH. This was on 9/11/2018. I went through thee worst withdrawals I've ever imagine in my lifetime and all those around me. I couldn't sleep NOT A BLINK for 5 ENTIRE DAYS.

I ended up weeping and barely having the energy to walk without fainting.

I had no appetite at ALL for food (not in the morning day night or late night), NONE

I had no appetite for WATER. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? Your body not even wanting to hydrate itself. I would FORCE and when I say force I mean sit up straight and FORCE Gatorade down

Let me reiterate. When I say I couldn't sleep, I don't mean some benzo pussy mental withdrawal or even one that is half physical too and has your heart rate pumping and your left eyelid twitching. BITCH shit compared to stopping a 500MG a day oxy habit.

This is REAL 95% physically paralyzing withdrawal and to top it all off I couldn't stop PISSING OUT OF MY ASS. MONTHS WENT BY THIS REMAINED.

To this VERY DAY especially with covid going on: I crave like a motherfucker. It truly is unfortunate that my abusive self ever felt what those TINY little devil pills can make you feel.

The cold sweats were disgusting and so hard to maintain with the bed sheets and so many showers. Your body would have, imagine a thermometer, delayed by 30 minutes. Cold? Cover up. Sweat more. Remove sheets. Shivering frantically and continuing to sweat at the same time.

They make you and they break you. They let sides of your personality surface that never would have before. Call it an opioid nod or buzz or whatever but it eliminated the need for Adderall or Xanax ever again. My body forgot about those before my brain even realized they were gone. They also DESTROY your insides, your mood, and what's left of your young self for YEARS to come. Severe scenarios can fry your brain cells. Takes a long time before anything gets better.

BUT IT DOES. YOU TOOK A WRONG TURN IT'S OKAY WE ALL DO. YOU STUMBLED AND NOW YOU HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY BACK UP AND ITS A BITCH AND I KNOW YOU'RE SICK BUT YOU HAVE TO. YOU HAVE TO. FLUSH YOUR STASH. PRAY. MAKE NEW FRIENDS OR HEY SCREW FRIENDS.

Charlie is NOT someone to make friends with. He'll make you gain weight, he's very addicting very fast, and I wouldn't be in caps lock for half this post if he couldn't KILL YOU. Just like you switch your lights on and off, your heart can too. With an average resting BPM of 105-110, some days while sitting down I'd check my apple watch and see 57. I'd FUCKING trip out. Get up start pacing around.

I'm not the taper type. 20 30s a day isn't really the taper type. Unfortunately I could and still can afford this habit. I'm staying clean and YOU SHOULD TOO

Docs told me I was lucky to be alive and not permanently retarded. Looked me in the eyes and verbatim used those words. He said I think it cause you're young. But when I told him how much a day, his jaw fell FAST. I denied all fake opioids because I told him I'm DONE withdrawing off of shit. Nothing. He gave me trazadol or trazadone ? I can't remember. Its the tranquilizer that makes your body feel heavy as fuck. Better than nothing but literally nothing more. Not a big difference when taking it this shit does your brain so wrong that even in that heavy state you'll remain wide awake.

Stop punishing your bodies. Best of luck to you all. Take it from me and don't even start do yourself the favor of a LIFETIME

 

[MagickalKat777]

Did you really just insult every person who has ever gone through REAL benzo withdrawal? Benzos can straight up fucking kill you. Don’t minimize that shit just because you haven’t experienced it. It’s far more than “pussy mental withdrawal” or “half physical” for those who are dependent beyond sporadic abuse. I have never met someone who has been through both that would take full on benzo withdrawal over opiate withdrawal. They’re both way worse than anyone could ever imagine or put into words.

Congrats on getting clean. 500mg is quite the habit. Staying clean is quite the achievement!

 

[ADHDMY4SS]

Did you really just insult every person who has ever gone through REAL benzo withdrawal? Benzos can straight up fucking kill you. Don’t minimize that shit just because you haven’t experienced it. It’s far more than “pussy mental withdrawal” or “half physical” for those who are dependent beyond sporadic abuse. I have never met someone who has been through both that would take full on benzo withdrawal over opiate withdrawal. They’re both way worse than anyone could ever imagine or put into words.

Congrats on getting clean. 500mg is quite the habit. Staying clean is quite the achievement!

Lol. Been there done that. I would never use such terms based off what, google? Is that what you think I'd have the audacity to come on here and post about directly to users? No BUDDY I've kicked a 3 year 12MG a day xanax habit. Cold turkey. Mentally fucking HORRIFIC. For a few days. A week. A month sure. 5 months if you let yourself live in it. I'm aware seizures can kill you.


This however is a WHOLE different breed of fucked up ness. Benzos are like someone running into you on accident with one of those Bird scooters. Oxies are like getting run over by an 18 wheeler on beach sand so you don't die you live and suffer, if you can withstand all 18 wheels and not relapse and stick your head out like a Dumbo.

Thats where you're wrong as well btw, for what it's worth: take 20 xanax (obviously tested) fall asleep. Take 20 Oxies, tolerance or not, tested or not, non tolerance about a 5 percent chance or less you live. Partially retarded or half way there still counts. The other 95 percent: dead on the spot.

Never heard of the opiod crisis bud? Pharmaceutical companies being forces to pay billions and billions for simply MAKING the fucking drug. Ridiculous if you ask me but it stems from SO MANY DEAD. You can't ignore that. Show me one benzo crisis. One benzo lawsuit.

I rest my case. ✌

 

[ADHDMY4SS]

Did you really just insult every person who has ever gone through REAL benzo withdrawal? Benzos can straight up fucking kill you. Don’t minimize that shit just because you haven’t experienced it. It’s far more than “pussy mental withdrawal” or “half physical” for those who are dependent beyond sporadic abuse. I have never met someone who has been through both that would take full on benzo withdrawal over opiate withdrawal. They’re both way worse than anyone could ever imagine or put into words.

Congrats on getting clean. 500mg is quite the habit. Staying clean is quite the achievement!

Thank you! Sorry I was so quick to respond I didn't finish reading your whole post. I'm not bullshitting you. I've used abused adderall Vyvanse klomopin xanax and damn oxies-IMO hands down thee absolute worst of the bunch. Hence devil pills.

 

[MagickalKat777]

So I had a big response typed up and decided it’s not worth arguing about. Suffice to say that I am currently tapering from diazepam after being prescribed benzos for 15 years and I have been in the near death state of full benzo withdrawal a few times. If you had ever been there, you wouldn’t minimize it. GABAergics and opiates are two of the most dangerous classes of drugs to withdraw from period and nobody should ever feel like their withdrawal experience has been minimized. Just because benzos were easier for you doesn’t mean it’s that way for everyone.

 

[nznity]

Idk whats the point of your thread, flaunt that you're better than the rest for going cold turkey from oxy AND according to you not going retarded? The fuck man, it's cool that you were able to get clean but dont minimize benzo wds that shit can be straight up fatal.

 

[ADHDMY4SS]

So I had a big response typed up and decided it’s not worth arguing about. Suffice to say that I am currently tapering from diazepam after being prescribed benzos for 15 years and I have been in the near death state of full benzo withdrawal a few times. If you had ever been there, you wouldn’t minimize it. GABAergics and opiates are two of the most dangerous classes of drugs to withdraw from period and nobody should ever feel like their withdrawal experience has been minimized. Just because benzos were easier for you doesn’t mean it’s that way for everyone.

Agreed. Everyone is different. I used benzos for a shorter period of time than you did but due to recreational use and not script, I abused the living fuck out of them. I went from a 3rd of a bar to 5 a day. Just years of blackness is my memory, which is truly fucked up because I remember nothing from my friends or family or experiences. The memory loss is scary. I am currently tapering off Kpins, I came clean to my doc, even gave him a few bars lol told him that's the last of my stash and I do NOT want to re-up, Please help me. He appreciated my honesty and look at my pills ( sometimes referred to as "hulks", the green ones ) and looked at me and told me these are 5MG each. Not 2. According to him, I was taking up to 25MG of Xanax a day. Anyways started off on 6MG kpin (he said that's the max and should be enough for now) and it definitely was. Kpins knock bars out of the park. Currently down to 2MG. 10% taper every month but sometimes I hold off and end up with extras so it's been going faster than he expected. What I am scared of deep down is the day I have to drop them. Each taper fucking sucks in every way possible; nothing you aren't incredibly familiar with. But that's just how it goes if you want out. Part of the plan. Wish you well #fuckbenzos and whoever made them so fucking habit-forming and easy to depend on when you're naturally anxious AF.

Idk whats the point of your thread, flaunt that you're better than the rest for going cold turkey from oxy AND according to you not going retarded? The fuck man, it's cool that you were able to get clean but dont minimize benzo wds that shit can be straight up fatal.

Well, my post starts with Struggling? And I shared my story to inspire others and let them know there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.
My post ends with "Stop punishing your bodies. Best of luck to you all. Take it from me and don't even start do yourself the favor of a LIFETIME"
If you can't comprehend the meaning of the post, you either:
A) didn't read it all
B) read it all but you're too illiterate to make anything of it
C) you're just a f**king retard
**SPOILER ALERT: your correct answer is C!**

Don't tell me about Benzo WDs. I am not talking about some reddit shit I read online. Nothing to be proud of but been there and DONE THAT. They are horrible and I am currently going through them. Again. Hence my 4AM posts in fucking California.

Again, I will put this in the most simple terms I can so you GET what I am trying to say. Benzo WDs fucking suck. Bad. HOWEVER, the amount of FATAL OD's (OD means overdose by the way) is a grain of sand compared to any type of opiates. 50,000 (FIFTY THOUSAND) Americans die every year from Opiate OD's.

How many die a year from Benzos? I can't find the number anywhere because IT DOES NOT OCCUR. Withdrawals SUCK. Got that. Seizures definitely have the possibility of being fatal. Got that. 999/1000 times anyone dies from a Benzo it is because they're abusing it, mixing it with other benzos or even opiates (suicide), or nowadays you took a fent laced bar and you just never wake up. The irony: Chinese/Mexican imported fent is currently ruining families and households due to accidental OD's (user thought he was taking ______ , he was but it was laced) and what do you know? It's a synthetic OPIATE. I wish it was never made and my heart goes out to the families who lost one to that crap. Not a point that I am happy to make but you just don't understand bro, opiates slow your CNS down if you take enough (which isn't much considering tolerance is a BIIIOOOOtch) and you notice immediately on your apple watch or whatever, your BPM went down 30% or more. Opiate OD's happen when people are feeling great nodding and then they pass out. This is the red zone. Their heart/lungs literally slow to a point where one or both stop working and someone tragically notices they aren't sleeping eventually.

I never said I was better than anyone; I didn't mean to come off that way. Simply telling my story to help others. Who the fuck would come on Bluelight to flaunt? IN THE HEALTH AND RECOVERY SECTION??? I can't imagine such scum or why anyone would ever want to do that. No offense to the site or it's users but it's a fucking drug / trip report / recovery forum.

 

[lovemissile66]

I loved your post. I dig your writing style. Congrats on kissing the opes buh-bye. I'm still on that train but posts like yours give myself a bit of hope.

Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay sane?!

 

[Flower Fairy]

He gave me trazadol or trazadone ? I can't remember. Its the tranquilizer that makes your body feel heavy as fuck.

Tramadol? Don't start taking that, it's a bitch to come off, believe me

 

[RedRum OG]

I dont know where you got the idea that a 500mg oxy habit is worse than a benzo habit. I had a harder time kicking 50mg of etizolam/day than I did 500mg IV heroin. It quite literally almost killed me, multiple times.

Glad you're straightening out. Get to working on your underlying issues. It would be nice if quitting were enough, but it usually isnt.

 

[df118s]

I was able to kick a xanax habit much easier than kicking opiates. Yeah benzos had that mental suckiness but the body pain wasn't so hard, and I was able to continue working through a benzo detox. I bet most people here going through benzo detox continue to work.
Coming off high dose oxy like the OP, man that was something else, no way would I even be able to leave the house and talk to someone else let alone go to work. Plus I never craved benzos like I craved opiates every single second of the detox and afterwards.
High dose opiate detox is muuuch more different to low dose oxy detox IMO. When I kicked codeine or low dose oxy it indeed wasn't as bad as kicking xanax, that's why a lot of people say benzos are harder - most people only get mild opiate habits and never get into the 100's of mg of oxy. But 400mg+ of oxy a day made the detox something else entirely.

 

[ADHDMY4SS]

I was able to kick a xanax habit much easier than kicking opiates. Yeah benzos had that mental suckiness but the body pain wasn't so hard, and I was able to continue working through a benzo detox. I bet most people here going through benzo detox continue to work.
Coming off high dose oxy like the OP, man that was something else, no way would I even be able to leave the house and talk to someone else let alone go to work. Plus I never craved benzos like I craved opiates every single second of the detox and afterwards.
High dose opiate detox is muuuch more different to low dose oxy detox IMO. When I kicked codeine or low dose oxy it indeed wasn't as bad as kicking xanax, that's why a lot of people say benzos are harder - most people only get mild opiate habits and never get into the 100's of mg of oxy. But 400mg+ of oxy a day made the detox something else entirely.

Couldn't have said it any better. Not many dumb fucks out there like me willing to spend $600 a day 7 days a week on pain pills. Benzos are mental hell watch your mouth or someone will cry you a river on here for saying that. Try dumping a larger oxy habit. Turns benzos into skittles. Spot on response dude my thoughts exactly.

 

[Mgold55]

I agree oxycodone is way harder. I quit 130mg a day of oxy and it was the worst experience I ever felt in life. Ive quit klonopin numerous times, it def isnt pleasant, but not even close.

 

[ADHDMY4SS]

I agree oxycodone is way harder. I quit 130mg a day of oxy and it was the worst experience I ever felt in life. Ive quit klonopin numerous times, it def isnt pleasant, but not even close.

Why, thank you. I happen to agree with you. Good for you. Stay away!! Devil pills.

 

[Mgold55]

Why, thank you. I happen to agree with you. Good for you. Stay away!! Devil pills.

And to the money issue you mentioned. I totally agree. In my opiate addiction of oxy, I spent SO MUCH money, like 300 a day. I never spent even close to that on klonopin. When i was in opiate withdrawal I would spend any amount of money, sell anything, lie to anyone. WHen i was in Benzo withdrawal, not of that even crossed my mind. Opiate withdrawal is def a diff beast.