Stress induced chest pain won't go away

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I'll try to put this into manageable paragraphs and make it short-ish.

I started a new position at work. They have a hell of a time finding anyone to work night audit. I've been there for a few months working front desk. They cycled through a few night audit people since I've been there. They always find someone, start training, and then the person either quits on the first night or quits after a couple weeks. So they eventually asked me to train on night audit so I can fill in when the regular guy has days off. Night audit pays a dollar more per hour and I'm a night person so I was like ok sure.

Well, that was a mistake. Night audit is a nightmare. Why? Because it's nothing but excel spreadsheets, math, lots of report printing and paperwork, blah blah blah. Math is my worst nightmare. Piles of paperwork that all needs to be put into a spreadsheet is overwhelming. After training, there is no manager on duty to ask questions if I don't understand something. It's just me and security. During training I told them I can't do this. They were like yes you can. I started getting chest pains while I was training. I'm very prone to anxiety and have a long history of panic attacks and anxiety related issues. I'm not on meds currently but am working on getting on them again but that's a long process so I'm SOL for now. I have benzos from an old RX because I save them for emergencies but since I'm quitting this job I can't risk taking my old benzo RX because the prescription date is from 4 months ago so I doubt that anyone would consider it valid for drug testing purposes if it's from 4 months ago. So I'm just standing there at work, having a panic attack and hoping that I don't end up leaving mid-shift to go to the hospital because that would be embarrassing and I have a history of losing jobs due to panic attacks on the job.

I ended up making it through work that night but ever since that night when the chest pain started, it has continued. It will go away for periods of time but it is happening multiple times a day, every day. I went to the hospital the day after they started and they did bloodwork, chest xray, EKG, etc and said there was nothing wrong. I have a history of high BP and tachycardia which is controlled by 2 heart medications, I've had both of those conditions since I was a kid so those things aren't related to my anxiety I don't think. Anyway. While I was at the hospital, my pulse was normal. Which was frustrating, because I kept feeling like it was racing then I'd look at the monitor and it was like 80.

I don't have health insurance currently so I'm stressing over how I'll pay for my hospital visit. I can't afford to have any new collections go to my credit report because I'm working on rebuilding my credit. I plan on applying for financial assistance through the hospital, and hopefully I'll qualify for charity care for the er bill to be covered. I don't qualify for Medicaid (I make too much money for that) so getting Medicaid isn't an option, and I can't afford to pay for health insurance.

So a few days after this shit started, I decided that I can't do this job anymore. It isn't good for me, clearly. I put in my two weeks on Monday. To which they replied, "But we need you through the holidays!" And I just thought to myself, "did I fucking stutter?"

I'm working on getting a new job but due to the stress I'm still under, the chest pains are continuing. It's a tightness and pain. Uncomfortable. I know it's just anxiety, but it doesn't prevent it from happening. I've felt like I'm losing my mind. I feel unsafe inside my own brain sometimes. No, I'm not suicidal. Just afraid of losing control and having a panic attack so bad that I'm on the floor shaking and have to call 911. This has happened to me before, and I really don't want to get to that point. Because when I get to that point, it takes me a really long time to get my anxiety back to baseline. It takes months, even years. I feel pathetic. I can't go to the hospital for mental inpatient because I can't miss out on income from work and again....I don't have health insurance. But I don't know what to do. I do see a therapist. I saw my regular dr for a follow up appointment and she said she'd refer me to the psychiatrist so I can get back on meds of some sort but who knows when that appointment will happen, I still have to wait for a call from the psychiatrist to get the process started.

I'm very overwhelmed. I called a crisis line and I ended up calling off work the night that I went to the hospital. So I'm missing out on those hours at work on this next paycheck. Before this new stress shit started, I was doing a bit better with my anxiety. Now I feel like I've had a major setback. I'm having panic attacks multiple times a day with no external trigger, just having them for no goddamn reason (other than my stress level, obviously). I don't like sleeping to begin with (I'm afraid of sleeping always have been), but it has been more impossible to force myself to sleep and that makes working even more difficult. I can't take caffeine or anything to stay awake when I'm tired due to my anxiety and since I can't take anything that would show up on a drug test to force myself to sleep I've been taking benadryl and some herbal "calming" pills sometimes but I hate taking them if they make me tired the next day.

Yes, I've tried meditation. My therapist has also tried hypno-therapy with me, which helped some with some of my other issues. But in the short term, these things aren't viable when I'm having a panic attack.

My mind won't stop racing. That isn't a new thing, but the theme of the racing thoughts is just very dark right now since I'm so stressed out and I don't like it. It gets scary. I worry that I'll go crazy. I don't want to end up schizo or something. I don't want to lose my mind. I see my therapist today. But I don't know what he'll really have to say. I just want this all to stop. I can't have anxiety ruin my life any longer. I can't enjoy anything with my anxiety level. I miss out on so many fun things because of my anxiety and it even makes mundane things like working, etc more difficult. I can't do this anymore. Also I'm scared of dying from a panic attack and it's ruining everything, basically.

 

[Asclepius]

This sounds like a horrible work environment. So sorry to hear you're experiencing bad anxiety and hope that you get financial aid, Zombie.

Is there some creative reason you can use that legally, your boss would be obliged to put you back in your original position?
Im glad to hear you are seeing your therapist. It sounds like you feel complete, swamped-under and your employers are using you; which is what they do.8)

Finances are important but your health (mental and physical) is more important. In evaluating this situation, I guess its important to recognise that this is an oppertunity not to trust employers and make sure you always keep yourself first and your mind clear, so that you make the best decision for your own benefit.

In the meantime, are you able to get some excercise, maintain focus on self-care? - know this is the hardest when you are swamped with external pressures and know that you struggle with sleeping and eating but any self-care is the best thing to focus on at the moment while this is happening and will help support your resilience, until more options become clearer.


Is there any action you can take, where management are obliged to let you go from that position?, that wouldnt overtly jepordise your employment record; when you get your next job?

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

This sounds like a horrible work environment. So sorry to hear you're experiencing bad anxiety and hope that you get financial aid, Zombie.

Is there some creative reason you can use that legally, your boss would be obliged to put you back in your original position?
Im glad to hear you are seeing your therapist. It sounds like you feel complete, swamped-under and your employers are using you; which is what they do.8)

Finances are important but your health (mental and physical) is more important. In evaluating this situation, I guess its important to recognise that this is an oppertunity not to trust employers and make sure you always keep yourself first and your mind clear, so that you make the best decision for your own benefit.

In the meantime, are you able to get some excercise, maintain focus on self-care? - know this is the hardest when you are swamped with external pressures and know that you struggle with sleeping and eating but any self-care is the best thing to focus on at the moment while this is happening and will help support your resilience, until more options become clearer.


Is there any action you can take, where management are obliged to let you go from that position?, that wouldnt overtly jepordise your employment record; when you get your next job?

I'm not sure if there is a reason that I could use which would legally require my boss to put me back in my original position. The only action I can take that would force them to let me go is...idk. Maybe if I told a guest to go fuck themselves....lol. Other than that, it's hard to get fired where I work. If you piss off a guest that's the biggest thing. I had a guest complain about me the other day because, "I didn't recognize his Platinum status" (his status in the hotel's rewards program) and "I seemed like I didn't care about him." Guess what....I don't! I'm so over it the whole place.

I had an interview today and got another job. This job pays more, is closer to my house, and is second shift. All perfect for me. I have orientation Friday. I have to work all night Thursday, so that's gonna suck but....meh. I have to do it. It's only one day of orientation. I really want to call off Thursday night at work so I can be refreshed Friday morning for orientation at the new job but I can't call off cuz there's literally no one to cover the shift if I do.

I saw my therapist today and we chatted and he asked me if I would consider going back on meds and I said yes....still don't know when I'll get a call to schedule with the psychiatrist but.....eventually, I guess?

 

[Mafioso]

I used to lay in bed unable to sleep because I was stressing so much about work and then when I woke up I would immediately feel nauseous because I was so anxious about work. I hated that job, really glad I decided to quit and go back to school. I would have racing thoughts, increased heart rate and all that.

The mind can perceive and react to stress like it would to immediate dangers. Your body can start releasing stress hormones and go into the "flight or fight" response as well as go into the prolonged stress response which can be taxing on the body.

For me, the problem had a lot to do with being responsible for things that I could not control. I was a supervisor and involved in a lot of planning but would get thrown into situations with impossible deadlines and expected to complete tasks with out the proper tools, supplies and skilled labor. There were so many contradictions in my supervisors expectations as well as my own it would make my head spin. I was trying to teach others, plan the work and keep up with deadlines all while staying under budget. It's extremely stressful to be teaching most of the crew while under tight deadlines. It's also a bit of a contradiction to be pushing the deadlines with unskilled labor and minimal tools/equipment while trying to stick to a tight budget.

After I quit I was almost immediately relieved and in general became much more relaxed and easy going. I realize now that I was personalizing a lot of the problems and viewed them as personal short-comings rather than viewing them as the consequences to being asked to complete an impossible task.

I want to say don't let work stress you out, but I don't know if this is entirely possible. If the expectations are unreasonably high or nearly impossible it would be understandable why you are stressed. Even if they aren't a change of pace will likely be a good thing. Try to keep track of your emotions and pin point what is causing stress. Is it an external source, internal source, or both?

How is your diet and exercise? Physical activity can really help with stress, things like aerobic exercise and prolonged stretching with breathing exercises have been really beneficial personally.

 

[Asclepius]

I'm not sure if there is a reason that I could use which would legally require my boss to put me back in my original position.

Find out the legal boundaries and your rights with regard to work. The work policices are obviously tilted toward the business, they are more management centred. Look for general workers rights, within your domain; make it your mission - dont let any employer fuck you over without a fight.

The only action I can take that would force them to let me go is...idk. Maybe if I told a guest to go fuck themselves....lol. Other than that, it's hard to get fired where I work. If you piss off a guest that's the biggest thing. I had a guest complain about me the other day because, "I didn't recognize his Platinum status" (his status in the hotel's rewards program) and "I seemed like I didn't care about him." Guess what....I don't! I'm so over it the whole place.

What a fucking numpty hahaha Seriously sad when peoples entitement is wrapped up in a piece of plastic eh?!
You know I worked in a hotel, many moons ago, with a friend - she used to use the guests toothbrush to clean the toilet, if they didn't tip her - Always be respectful to the service providers, the customer may 'always be right' but there are hidden consequences!

I had an interview today and got another job. This job pays more, is closer to my house, and is second shift. All perfect for me. I have orientation Friday. I have to work all night Thursday, so that's gonna suck but....meh. I have to do it. It's only one day of orientation. I really want to call off Thursday night at work so I can be refreshed Friday morning for orientation at the new job but I can't call off cuz there's literally no one to cover the shift if I do.

Kudos to you, being pro-active despite the crap youre going through. Give the interview hell - head high and remember, its one of many potentials, go with your gut and im wishing you the best in choosing a better oppertunity for yourself; one in which you can upskill and gain more from ( make sure to ask at interview about opertunities so you can weed out bullshit platitudes from actual oppertunities that you can build on).

I saw my therapist today and we chatted and he asked me if I would consider going back on meds and I said yes....still don't know when I'll get a call to schedule with the psychiatrist but.....eventually, I guess?

Well, meds are meds. They will dampen down your feelings. Its your choice and your therapist is employed BY YOU, so its up to you but keep your head straight. Sometimes anxiety can motivate us to move on and away toward what is better for us ( obviously if its intolerable, meds are needed) but dont dull your drive because of a temporary situation.

You sound better and am so glad you are looking forward, toward your needs, ZaP

 

[Asclepius]

For me, the problem had a lot to do with being responsible for things that I could not control. I was a supervisor and involved in a lot of planning but would get thrown into situations with impossible deadlines and expected to complete tasks with out the proper tools, supplies and skilled labor. There were so many contradictions in my supervisors expectations as well as my own it would make my head spin. I was trying to teach others, plan the work and keep up with deadlines all while staying under budget. It's extremely stressful to be teaching most of the crew while under tight deadlines. It's also a bit of a contradiction to be pushing the deadlines with unskilled labor and minimal tools/equipment while trying to stick to a tight budget.

After I quit I was almost immediately relieved and in general became much more relaxed and easy going. I realize now that I was personalizing a lot of the problems and viewed them as personal short-comings rather than viewing them as the consequences to being asked to complete an impossible task.

Employers will pass the buck on to anyone and know they have them over-a-barrel - its a tactic. Its good to be challenged but they really are, obviously, just using whatever resources are easiest for them. Ideally it should be a two way street - less employee turnover and happier, more skilled employees; if they ensure that in their business. Most dont.

Glad you got out of the excess, stress; to realize your situation, for yourself, Mafiosa.

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Thanks for the encouragement guys. I have a start date for my new job, and my boss where I work currently finally accepted that I'm leaving and quit giving me the, "but you can't leave," speech. I'm very excited for this new job. It's nothing special, but it's stuff I've done before and I'm excited for more money, for the most part.

As far as my anxiety, it's still difficult. I'm stuck on overnight shifts basically every day this week so that's killing me mentally and I'm pretty depressed, but not as bad as I was before I put in my two week notice. Things will get better, I hope. I know that I can't let my anxiety cause me to fuck up my new job though, so that's the goal for right now.

 

[Asclepius]

Keep the chin, up and the motivation strong and expectation, grounded.

Best of luck in dealing with this new venture ZAP, happy for you

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Keep the chin, up and the motivation strong and expectation, grounded.

Best of luck in dealing with this new venture ZAP, happy for you

BTW, I know you pm'd me awhile ago but when I tried to reply it said your inbox was full. I wasn't sure how to reach you so maybe you'll see this and free up some space in your inbox! Lol

 

[Asclepius]

It's cleared ZAP
Not going to be consistent with replying until after December, as crazy busy but shoot me a pm whenever you need

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

I'll try to put this into manageable paragraphs and make it short-ish.

I started a new position at work. They have a hell of a time finding anyone to work night audit. I've been there for a few months working front desk. They cycled through a few night audit people since I've been there. They always find someone, start training, and then the person either quits on the first night or quits after a couple weeks. So they eventually asked me to train on night audit so I can fill in when the regular guy has days off. Night audit pays a dollar more per hour and I'm a night person so I was like ok sure.

Well, that was a mistake. Night audit is a nightmare. Why? Because it's nothing but excel spreadsheets, math, lots of report printing and paperwork, blah blah blah. Math is my worst nightmare. Piles of paperwork that all needs to be put into a spreadsheet is overwhelming. After training, there is no manager on duty to ask questions if I don't understand something. It's just me and security. During training I told them I can't do this. They were like yes you can. I started getting chest pains while I was training. I'm very prone to anxiety and have a long history of panic attacks and anxiety related issues. I'm not on meds currently but am working on getting on them again but that's a long process so I'm SOL for now. I have benzos from an old RX because I save them for emergencies but since I'm quitting this job I can't risk taking my old benzo RX because the prescription date is from 4 months ago so I doubt that anyone would consider it valid for drug testing purposes if it's from 4 months ago. So I'm just standing there at work, having a panic attack and hoping that I don't end up leaving mid-shift to go to the hospital because that would be embarrassing and I have a history of losing jobs due to panic attacks on the job.

I ended up making it through work that night but ever since that night when the chest pain started, it has continued. It will go away for periods of time but it is happening multiple times a day, every day. I went to the hospital the day after they started and they did bloodwork, chest xray, EKG, etc and said there was nothing wrong. I have a history of high BP and tachycardia which is controlled by 2 heart medications, I've had both of those conditions since I was a kid so those things aren't related to my anxiety I don't think. Anyway. While I was at the hospital, my pulse was normal. Which was frustrating, because I kept feeling like it was racing then I'd look at the monitor and it was like 80.

I don't have health insurance currently so I'm stressing over how I'll pay for my hospital visit. I can't afford to have any new collections go to my credit report because I'm working on rebuilding my credit. I plan on applying for financial assistance through the hospital, and hopefully I'll qualify for charity care for the er bill to be covered. I don't qualify for Medicaid (I make too much money for that) so getting Medicaid isn't an option, and I can't afford to pay for health insurance.

So a few days after this shit started, I decided that I can't do this job anymore. It isn't good for me, clearly. I put in my two weeks on Monday. To which they replied, "But we need you through the holidays!" And I just thought to myself, "did I fucking stutter?"

I'm working on getting a new job but due to the stress I'm still under, the chest pains are continuing. It's a tightness and pain. Uncomfortable. I know it's just anxiety, but it doesn't prevent it from happening. I've felt like I'm losing my mind. I feel unsafe inside my own brain sometimes. No, I'm not suicidal. Just afraid of losing control and having a panic attack so bad that I'm on the floor shaking and have to call 911. This has happened to me before, and I really don't want to get to that point. Because when I get to that point, it takes me a really long time to get my anxiety back to baseline. It takes months, even years. I feel pathetic. I can't go to the hospital for mental inpatient because I can't miss out on income from work and again....I don't have health insurance. But I don't know what to do. I do see a therapist. I saw my regular dr for a follow up appointment and she said she'd refer me to the psychiatrist so I can get back on meds of some sort but who knows when that appointment will happen, I still have to wait for a call from the psychiatrist to get the process started.

I'm very overwhelmed. I called a crisis line and I ended up calling off work the night that I went to the hospital. So I'm missing out on those hours at work on this next paycheck. Before this new stress shit started, I was doing a bit better with my anxiety. Now I feel like I've had a major setback. I'm having panic attacks multiple times a day with no external trigger, just having them for no goddamn reason (other than my stress level, obviously). I don't like sleeping to begin with (I'm afraid of sleeping always have been), but it has been more impossible to force myself to sleep and that makes working even more difficult. I can't take caffeine or anything to stay awake when I'm tired due to my anxiety and since I can't take anything that would show up on a drug test to force myself to sleep I've been taking benadryl and some herbal "calming" pills sometimes but I hate taking them if they make me tired the next day.

Yes, I've tried meditation. My therapist has also tried hypno-therapy with me, which helped some with some of my other issues. But in the short term, these things aren't viable when I'm having a panic attack.

My mind won't stop racing. That isn't a new thing, but the theme of the racing thoughts is just very dark right now since I'm so stressed out and I don't like it. It gets scary. I worry that I'll go crazy. I don't want to end up schizo or something. I don't want to lose my mind. I see my therapist today. But I don't know what he'll really have to say. I just want this all to stop. I can't have anxiety ruin my life any longer. I can't enjoy anything with my anxiety level. I miss out on so many fun things because of my anxiety and it even makes mundane things like working, etc more difficult. I can't do this anymore. Also I'm scared of dying from a panic attack and it's ruining everything, basically.

Sorry to hear about your stress/anxiety *hug* I hope things get better for you soon.
I know this is my go-to answer for things but I think benzodiazapines would *really* help you. They are particularly good for temporary or short-term stress and anxiety. Maybe not something as powerful as xanax but diazepam for example would be excellent for you.