• ✍️ WORDS ✍️

    Welcome Guest!

  • Words Moderators: Mysterier

Poetry stars, bars & neon-love; an au faux memoir

tubgirl.jpg

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
4,122
It's a ... poem?


stars, bars & neon-love; an au faux memoir


The pavement cracks beneath my feet

a flourescent fever in a white line night

There's a spark in her speckled eyes

through the murk

they're guiding lights


Her fingers smells like nicotine

my voice is thick and sly

The torniquet is loose

and everything is gonna be

everything is gonna be allright


The pins and needles,

the ecstatic shrugs,

we're laughing in a chokehold,

convinced that it's a hug


The bars, the scams, lies and schemes,

the serpent slithers inside our sleeves

She grabbed my neck,

Alice, babe

nothing you know is what is seem
s


Her heart's a stone in a velvet box

She guards it with her vicious beauty

and her solemn, tender lies

There's a starry blackness that's all-consuming

in her malicious insect eyes


She becomes the spectre of a ghost

as she talks about her past

and the bones that she's entombed

I bleed into her soil

and she whispers run,

because nothing here can ever bloom



After five days wide awake

something crawls up from the murky deep

There's a mist beneath my eyelids

when she says

my darling I'm back,

and this time I have come to reap



Her feral stare pins me down

like a shark sensing a prey

A predator

and the scent of blood

She will have it no other way


Her gaze reflects the debauchery

before it savagely unfolds

This is love baptized in blood,

the kind that won't live to be old


Against my skin her knife is cold

with a sensual caress

Disturbingly enticing dear,

your shivers and heavy breath


Your love is like a bullet,

a hollowpoint that tears apart

And through my torn up ribcage

you tear out my icky-sticky

decomposing little heart


The plug is dry, the moneys burnt

and the fabric is bursting at the seams

Freezing cold while soaked in sweat,

where we shuffle between these kafkaesque scenes


Her voice is calm

and seemingly steady

but her hands can't hide that feeling

of scratching at the walls inside your head

while clawing at it's ceiling


Here comes the flood, polluted thoughts,

shards of glass that splinters

The toxic streams that trickles down

into massive corrosive rivers


The snare, the pills, the bottle,

the bullet, the leap or the switchblade

Baby say's she'd like a match

and watch the whole world dance

and smile as they incinerate


Treading through the hailstorm,

deranged by our silent oath and quiet creed

That men are but demons

and you get eaten or you feed


Man made god in his image

or so I want to believe

As I force this poor man to the ground

pleading on his knees


If god made man in his image,

what does that make me with this knife?

I'm Atropos pulling strings,

while he begs me not to slice


The voice inside is quiet

and I can't tell what's right from wrong

My compass has been shattered

So I whip the piece until it's silent,

until I am just what I feel

hollow, frayed and alone


The hoodie's up

and my heartbeat cracks its cage of bones

My hands belongs to a stranger now,

to the ruthless apex that sits upon my throne


A shot of lightning rips a hole

across the concrete heaven

I recall my every sin,

and man,

they are plenty more than seven


The plunger hits the bottom

and behind it drags our lifes

She shivers on the bed

as her eyes explodes

in a mirage of blinding lights


I try to shake the images as

I sink into that same perpetual night

I think about the stars and how they all

fit into your smile


The flashing lights are searing,

my skin is cold,

tender, blue

All these faces stare at me but none of them are you


A bodybag is carried

like a piece of furniture down the flight of steps

Everything is muted,

except the beating in my ears

the growing silence in my chest


I walk the boulevard of grime and stare up at the stars

The heaven stole your eyes,

those yellow speckled sparks


I walk the boulevard of missing what I had

and neglecting what I've got

The heavens say my name and darling

I will be there in a shot
 
Last edited:
Thank you for reading, and for picking some faves :D
English is not my native tongue, but I'm working on it. Got any feedback on what you didn't like?

Thanks again <3
 
Amazing you wrote this in a second language! ?

I think the imagery is crisp, great structure, good flow. No complaints!

I’d offer any constructive feedback that I could, pulverstaden, but I just think it’s really good.
 
Hehe, yeah, english ain't my native tongue, although I've been listening to music and watching english tv-shows for as long as I can remember.
Most of my favourite writers wrote in english, and I prefer to read authors in their original language.

Thank you duggles, really appreciate it!
 
I really enjoyed reading this! I've been writing more abstract poetry lately so this was very refreshing. I loved the tonal shift and sense of accelerating horror as they pass day 5 - the climax was perfect :)

lots of great passages in here. one thought is that the rhyme scheme you introduce early on sets a great framework for the story telling - that is, the reader can easily digest the sequence of events and pacing is tightly controlled. I think the latter half of this poem reads a bit inconsistent in that regard. perhaps consider leaning even further past this and drop the rhymes and familiar pacing altogether - jarr the reader into the narrators descent into madness?

some particular lines I LOVED

we're laughing in a chokehold,
convinced that it's a hug

Treading through the hailstorm,
deranged by our silent oath and quiet creed

That men are but demons
and you get eaten or you feed
 
Top