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She wants marriage, and kids. Me? Not anytime soon...

CoastTwoCoast said:
I understand, your feelings changed. Yes, you have to tell her.
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I know.. either way I have a feeling she is going to be mad. She has a short temper. So I'm assuming she will just tell me to drop it when I tell her this
 
Now here is one thing I dont know how to handle either. She constantly tells me she loves me and misses me and such. I feel bad if i dont say this...because i do love her. But should i keep saying it knowing that this talk is going to happen someday soon?
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
You took one piece of what he said. It doesn't mean anything. He'll do what he wants anyway. I am interested in his decision though.
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You know you don't have to agree with me right? Jesus.

Op, whatever you do try to put on your big boy pants. I mean some advice is fine to seek, but you sound clueless as how to handle basic communication in a relationship.
 
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nuttynutskin said:
You know you don't have to agree with me right? Jesus.

Op, whatever you do try to put on your big boy pants. I mean some advice is fine to seek, but you sound clueless as how to handle basic communication in a relationship.
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I do know I don't have to agree with you, but I actually happen to agree with what you just said to OP.

He sounds like he doesn't even know how to talk to her at all. That's something he has to do on his own. We can't help with that. Just get it over with already.
 
nuttynutskin said:
You know you don't have to agree with me right? Jesus.

Op, whatever you do try to put on your big boy pants. I mean some advice is fine to seek, but you sound clueless as how to handle basic communication in a relationship.
Click to expand...
CoastTwoCoast said:
I do know I don't have to agree with you, but I actually happen to agree with what you just said to OP.

He sounds like he doesn't even know how to talk to her at all. That's something he has to do on his own. We can't help with that. Just get it over with already.
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Well. I am kind of clueless honestly. Longest relationship before this...3 months. Now it's been 10 months.

I have an idea. Think I'm going to talk anand be honest and try and find a solution that helps both of us. I dont want marriage...probably ever. A kid, down the line but not now for sure.
 
Ok guys..here is further clarification on everything.

Like I said, I've only been in a relationship for 3 months prior to this one which is 10 months. I haven't spoke up or said anything because I haven't really known how to handle this situation (the fact that in her past relationships she has been in an abusive one, and also told that she cant do anything she wants to do etc etc) but what I have figured out is what to say.

I am going to start off by explaining to her that I do not want marriage yet if ever. I would like a child, but now...no. not until we are in a good perdicinent with money and such.

I'm going to tell her I love her, but i also feel trapped and suffocated. I'm going to tell her that I want to try and fix things and work on things. Possibly giving us a day or 2 a week to ourselves. Either so we can just have alone time, or time with our friends by ourselves.

I haven't been a good boyfriend by not communicating with her. I need to start doing this. I would like to be with her, but if the issues arent going to be fixed or worked on then no. So we shall see. I will keep everyone updated. The situation might play out quite ok though.
 
I know this is a bit old. But the final update on this!

We did have a huge argument at the end of last year. But we did talk about a LOT and fixed some issues. Now we both have small issues and links to fix. Lately everything has been pretty good. I think I was over thinking the situation. I feel more content and happy than before. This is my first adult relationship. My other relationships have been only a few months at the most. We have been together now for well over a year! So I think I'm getting used to it.
 
~kira~ said:
I know this is a bit old. But the final update on this!

We did have a huge argument at the end of last year. But we did talk about a LOT and fixed some issues. Now we both have small issues and links to fix. Lately everything has been pretty good. I think I was over thinking the situation. I feel more content and happy than before. This is my first adult relationship. My other relationships have been only a few months at the most. We have been together now for well over a year! So I think I'm getting used to it.
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I'm glad things are going so well! :)
Does she still want more kids or is that topic being put on the backburner for now?
 
~kira~ said:
Thank you! And yeah she still does. But I told her I'm not ready at the moment but one day i will be. Mainly told her o want us to be making more money first and be settled more.
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Yes, stick to that plan! Make sure you are ready first. Don't get pressured into it.
 
~kira~ said:
But how do i go about this? I mean on my end I dont talk to her too much about my feelings. This would be a huge surprise to her. I feel like no matter how I tell her she will get mad and be highly upset.
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Yeah she will be upset and all yet you both moved too fast and she will have to readjust to dating and not living together.

You aren't trapped, just tell her you need your spa e and are not a chauffeur.

She might be thinking more of the benefits of having convenience being hone then losing you, she won't lose you should you find your own place after all. Not a break up, merely change in where you live.
 
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