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Sex isn't what I thought it'd be

Gormur

Gormur

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
3,331
I'm primarily a visually-minded type of person, so this isn't a subject I think about often. The first time I had unprotected sex I realized I didn't want to do it again. I'm definitely a sexual person but if I could describe it, it was like it wasn't meant to feel the way it did. I guess if you're a guy, like me imagine what it feels like when you spit in your hand and jerk off to it. Now imagine jerking off with lube. Vaginal sex is like spitting in my hand to jerk off to. Like, you know how the spit starts to dry out and it just doesn't feel nice at all. After the girl got wet it was even worse and I was about to come because it didn't feel good. I don't know how to explain that last sentence, haha.

I'm starting to think enjoying sex is connected to the runner's high. I'm not a person who gets endorphin or adrenaline rushes by being human. I need to become a superhuman with various substances. Then at least my entire body feels good and I don't care about this stuff. I guess at this point it's not about caring but being slightly concerned that I'm supposed to care or want to have sex. No doubt I like everything that leads up to sex, find women attractive. I have these wild sexual fantasies but they involve females I don't know and have never seen in real life. Basically they appear out of nowhere and have astral sex with me. This is a more recent thing, like over the past five years

I think it's weird that I like this more than sex. I also prefer to masturbate over having sex. Don't get me wrong, I've pleased women sexually. That's all it was though and after a while I'd had enough. I guess there's always Cialis but I don't know. Is that supposed to get you interested in sex itself? It probably still wouldn't feel good to me. Cheers
 
There is a lot of social pressure and certain expectations built up around sex. I think plenty of people find themselves disappointed or confused or even guilty or ashamed when their experience of it does not live up to the hype. If you don’t like it then you shouldn’t feel any need or obligation to participate in it. However, if you think there might be an problem with your sexuality then maybe talk to a sex counsellor who will no doubt have experience with similar cases. I’ve certainly gone through periods in life when I had no interest in sex because I much preferred drugs.
 
I mean I've just never enjoyed it. It feels bad/unpleasant to have vaginal intercourse. Maybe my dick doesn't like the way vaginas feel, which would suck because I think that's the case. The only thing I kind of like is getting the other person off. Now I'm getting to where sex with another person doesn't enter my mind at all since it's sort of repulsive to think about. I don't know if that makes sense but you're right of course, I've never talked to a sex therapist
 
Gormur said:
I mean I've just never enjoyed it. It feels bad/unpleasant to have vaginal intercourse. Maybe my dick doesn't like the way vaginas feel, which would suck because I think that's the case. The only thing I kind of like is getting the other person off. Now I'm getting to where sex with another person doesn't enter my mind at all since it's sort of repulsive to think about. I don't know if that makes sense but you're right of course, I've never talked to a sex therapist
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You say you like getting the other person off. How do you feel about orally pleasuring a woman to orgasm? There are plenty of women who could not care less if you put your dick in them or not if you are handy with your tongue.
 
To be brutally honest, I'd rather have a wank or be wanked than have vaginal sex. After all, there's not many vaginas as tight as a fist. I think that's probably the reason why lots of blokes go nuts for anal sex, but I'm not too keen on that either because I don't like getting a shitty dick. Plus the fact I'm a lazy bastard and often find regular intercourse too much of a bloody effort.

But there are plenty of ways of getting each other off than mindless rutting.
 
Rutting? I'm learning new words, haha. I don't like making it but if she does the leg work it's more entertaining I suppose
 
I think men get so flooded with porn etc that they become super desensitised to real sex. That, of course, is incredibly sad because sex is amazing when you’re with the right person.

Ive been with guys who loved porn and wanking and who didn’t get much out of sex. When they went on a little porn and wank diet they definitely realised what they had been missing out on.

There’s sex and the cliche making love. One can be a detached act that is a means to an end and one can literally transport you to another world for a little while. When you’ve passion and love and feeling behind sex it becomes something else. It’s really sad to hear so many of you haven’t experienced that connection to someone else.
 
I think for me I watched so much porn as a kid that eventually I became desensitized to the porn, and only real sex did it for me. But after being in a relationship as long as I have eventually wanking came back into the picture somewhat lol (married dudes probably know what I speak..).

From the age of 9 I was into some pretty hardcore porn, by the time I got out of high school I’d worn out nearly every avenue of porn I could.

Plus it only takes a few good sex sessions with another to really get hooked, one good taste of pussy and it’s over, get high on some MDA and LSD then fuck for 8hrs til your dicks raw and tell me you don’t wanna do it again? ;)

If you are too lethargic then you better hit the gym..

-GC
 
I was looking at Playboy magazines and even saw a Playgirl or something similar where guys were in tuxedo bows with no other clothing on. There was another magazine I found that I quite liked that I can't remember the name of but it was geared towards women's health. It had nude women standing in line and each photo was categorized by body type, age and breast size and shape. I was 9 when I saw that and I even got off to it

I saw porn on TV on one of those sex channels back then. I don't know if it was Hustler channel or if this was before that. It was before the Internet and I was 7 years old. Of course I liked the entertainment factor but I never did and still don't get much from porn

I guess everybody's different and that's why there are still strip clubs. I like women to know that I'm there and I enjoy touching them. I also enjoy getting a woman's attention more than her just touching me everywhere though. I've never had any unusual sexual issues. Pretty normal. Everything works down there. I don't need somebody to like me to feel attracted to them. You could say I'm shallow as I care about looks and I'm not sure if I notice other features. Although what I find attractive is personal, so I guess there could be more to it than what I'm aware of

I did the gym routine, mainly lifting for 5 years. It didn't give me the result I was after (muscles) so I gradually quit. I still walk places quite a bit so I'm not lazy or anything, but I'm thin so you couldn't tell anyway. I don't notice it doing anything for me. I don't know if it should do anything, but I feel okay about it

@w01fg4ng two and it was ages ago. I still remember what it felt like though. It was like fucking a leather belt
 
I'm starting to think enjoying sex is connected to the runner's high.
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I don't think I can agree -- I've felt the post-workout glow (it's better with lifting than running IMHO) and I've had sex and they feel pretty different.

Basically they appear out of nowhere and have astral sex with me. This is a more recent thing, like over the past five years
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Honestly, I think that's pretty common, it would be a decent description of my sexual fantasies, too, even though the important parts are probably different.

I'm not a person who gets endorphin or adrenaline rushes by being human. [...] It feels bad/unpleasant to have vaginal intercourse.
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But did it feel good before that? I guess I'm kind of lucky in that I had my first time on methylone -- every touch felt good. It seems plausible that you just weren't mentally there at the time you started having sex. Foreplay makes a big difference for guys too, particularly with a new partner/first time. Basically, I think it would help to try to enjoy affection, making out, etc, first.
 
She should be getting wetter....

Like so wet its dripping.

Also generally when she comes, it will lock and you will feel the blood flowing and maybe your shit will get trapped and you won't be able to get out in time! Depends how hard she cums but I can usually feel when a girl is coming. And if you get trapped, then she can't complain. Fuck her from the back like spooning. Tightest that way. Or like on a sex rap so you hit the angle right. You gotta learn how to fuck and hit the walls right.

Masturbate over sex? No way. Try different positions....
 
Gormur said:
I was looking at Playboy magazines and even saw a Playgirl or something similar where guys were in tuxedo bows with no other clothing on. There was another magazine I found that I quite liked that I can't remember the name of but it was geared towards women's health. It had nude women standing in line and each photo was categorized by body type, age and breast size and shape. I was 9 when I saw that and I even got off to it

I saw porn on TV on one of those sex channels back then. I don't know if it was Hustler channel or if this was before that. It was before the Internet and I was 7 years old. Of course I liked the entertainment factor but I never did and still don't get much from porn

I guess everybody's different and that's why there are still strip clubs. I like women to know that I'm there and I enjoy touching them. I also enjoy getting a woman's attention more than her just touching me everywhere though. I've never had any unusual sexual issues. Pretty normal. Everything works down there. I don't need somebody to like me to feel attracted to them. You could say I'm shallow as I care about looks and I'm not sure if I notice other features. Although what I find attractive is personal, so I guess there could be more to it than what I'm aware of

I did the gym routine, mainly lifting for 5 years. It didn't give me the result I was after (muscles) so I gradually quit. I still walk places quite a bit so I'm not lazy or anything, but I'm thin so you couldn't tell anyway. I don't notice it doing anything for me. I don't know if it should do anything, but I feel okay about it

@w01fg4ng two and it was ages ago. I still remember what it felt like though. It was like fucking a leather belt
Click to expand...
I bet you’re low on testosterone. Get your levels checked.
 
Sexual dysfunction could be, but is unlikely to be, the only symptom of low testosterone.
 
My testosterone seems fine but I've never had it tested. I mean it seems fine because I'm interested in sex and get myself off whenever I feel like it. It's not constant for me. I could wait till it feels full down there or whatever, like a week. Typically every three days although I can do it once a day everyday but I don't want to. Basically I'm typing my thoughts at this point so I'll shut up for a while. Thanks for your help
 
Gormur said:
I was looking at Playboy magazines and even saw a Playgirl or something similar where guys were in tuxedo bows with no other clothing on. There was another magazine I found that I quite liked that I can't remember the name of but it was geared towards women's health. It had nude women standing in line and each photo was categorized by body type, age and breast size and shape. I was 9 when I saw that and I even got off to it

I saw porn on TV on one of those sex channels back then. I don't know if it was Hustler channel or if this was before that. It was before the Internet and I was 7 years old. Of course I liked the entertainment factor but I never did and still don't get much from porn

I guess everybody's different and that's why there are still strip clubs. I like women to know that I'm there and I enjoy touching them. I also enjoy getting a woman's attention more than her just touching me everywhere though. I've never had any unusual sexual issues. Pretty normal. Everything works down there. I don't need somebody to like me to feel attracted to them. You could say I'm shallow as I care about looks and I'm not sure if I notice other features. Although what I find attractive is personal, so I guess there could be more to it than what I'm aware of

I did the gym routine, mainly lifting for 5 years. It didn't give me the result I was after (muscles) so I gradually quit. I still walk places quite a bit so I'm not lazy or anything, but I'm thin so you couldn't tell anyway. I don't notice it doing anything for me. I don't know if it should do anything, but I feel okay about it

@w01fg4ng two and it was ages ago. I still remember what it felt like though. It was like fucking a leather belt
Click to expand...
I don't think you're shallow, dude. I think you are rather normal.

Keep your eyes open for opportunities but obvious be safe when doing so.
 
Gormur said:
I'm primarily a visually-minded type of person, so this isn't a subject I think about often. The first time I had unprotected sex I realized I didn't want to do it again. I'm definitely a sexual person but if I could describe it, it was like it wasn't meant to feel the way it did. I guess if you're a guy, like me imagine what it feels like when you spit in your hand and jerk off to it. Now imagine jerking off with lube. Vaginal sex is like spitting in my hand to jerk off to. Like, you know how the spit starts to dry out and it just doesn't feel nice at all. After the girl got wet it was even worse and I was about to come because it didn't feel good. I don't know how to explain that last sentence, haha.

I'm starting to think enjoying sex is connected to the runner's high. I'm not a person who gets endorphin or adrenaline rushes by being human. I need to become a superhuman with various substances. Then at least my entire body feels good and I don't care about this stuff. I guess at this point it's not about caring but being slightly concerned that I'm supposed to care or want to have sex. No doubt I like everything that leads up to sex, find women attractive. I have these wild sexual fantasies but they involve females I don't know and have never seen in real life. Basically they appear out of nowhere and have astral sex with me. This is a more recent thing, like over the past five years

I think it's weird that I like this more than sex. I also prefer to masturbate over having sex. Don't get me wrong, I've pleased women sexually. That's all it was though and after a while I'd had enough. I guess there's always Cialis but I don't know. Is that supposed to get you interested in sex itself? It probably still wouldn't feel good to me. Cheers
Click to expand...
I’ve had a similar experience. It was for quite a long time after a bad break up, sex just wasn’t that great, couldn’t feel as good as I knew I should or could. having someone please me just felt pointless.
It went away after a lot of years of emotional processing. It took a long time to feel pleasure consistently again.

Maybe this is kind of an emotional-mental thing? I know dudes aren’t “supposed” to be emotional and all that.. and apparently a dude is supposed to be hard on demand... but that’s not the reality. Not even close.

Sex isn’t just physical.. there are other components to it. Those other components make or break it for me. It’s hard to feel pleasure when your heart is shattered and your not in the right headspace.

idk man, how is your emotional state? How do you feel about the people you’re having sex with? What sorts of thoughts are creeping around in the back of your mind?
 
g0df1sh said:
idk man, how is your emotional state? How do you feel about the people you’re having sex with? What sorts of thoughts are creeping around in the back of your mind?
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I think it's decent. I don't feel conflicted about anything that I know of. Like I said before I feel attraction towards women because I like the way they look. The two I was with were both thin and average height, well like me except female. It's hard for me to think about this stuff but maybe there's a way I can figure out whether or not there's something besides physical looks that I find attractive. Then go from there. I don't think I'll change my mind about sex, but who knows?
 
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