September H&R Thread v. Doggo

[Captain.Heroin]

Bork for sobriety!

?

 

[Jabberwocky]

i got a massive tattoo on my leg on saturday and it kills. i'm so glad we didn't have time to finish as there's a large empty space in the middle right now. it would be horrible without that space right now. it hasn't even occurred to me to use anything for the pain. progress.

 

[somnilicious]

i got a massive tattoo on my leg on saturday and it kills. i'm so glad we didn't have time to finish as there's a large empty space in the middle right now. it would be horrible without that space right now. it hasn't even occurred to me to use anything for the pain. progress.

Progress indeed. What kind of tat did you get? I've been thinking of starting a sleeve. I just want to make sure that I truly want what I pick and I have a lot more important stuff on my plate at the moment.

I am proud of myself because I worked my way through a little craving for alcohol today. It's my dad's birthday and he loves to drink. I have still been nursing a little gram of pot I bought 2 days ago but I definitely have to stop after tomorrow. One step at a time.

 

[jb99]

I am proud of myself because I worked my way through a little craving for alcohol today.

Me too, I was at the Union Square Whole Foods and the lines were like ten minutes long and I saw this, which I'd relapsed on last Dec, it looks so innocent just like the non-alcoholic kombucha but it's 3% ABV:



I had an urge but it passed, I thought about how much pain and suffering I went thru this year from drinking and using, and I texted a sober friend.

Went to a SMART recovery mtg at 7pm, I do like their philosophy, it isn't 100% perfect but it is closer to my worldview then 12 step is. On the other hand, sometimes the 1 at a time no cross talk 12 step ritual can be nice. But all the magical thinking and irrationality and absolutes I hear in 12 step is distasteful to me personally.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Normally this doesn’t happen to me. But I am craving hard drugs and seeming then out. Probably won’t find any. Kind of pissing me off.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I’m depressed. Empty. Alone. Indifferent. Numb. I just want to feel something.

 

[Zopiclone bandit]

Bork for sobriety!

?

I bork a borky road The only one that I have ever borked Don't know where it goes But it's bork to me, and I walk and bork. I walk this empty bork On the borkevard of borken dreams Where the doggo sleeps And I'm the only bork, and I bork alone I bork alone, I bork alone I bork alone and I bork a~ My shadow's the only one that borks beside me My shallow lung's the only thing that's borking Sometimes I wish someone out there will bork me Till then I bork alone *Bork bork-Bork bork Bork bork boooork bork Bork bork bork bork Bork bork* I'm borking down the line That divides me somewhere in dog's mind On the borking line of the edge And where I bork alone Bork between the dogs What's BORK'd up and every thing's all right Check my borking signs to know I'm still alive And I bork alone I bork alone, I bork alone I bork alone and I bork a My shadow's the only one that borks beside me My shallow lung's the only thing that's borking Sometimes I wish someone out there will bork me Till then I bork alone Ah ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah ah I bork alone, I bork a I bork this empty street On the boulevard of borken dreams Where the doggo sleeps And I'm the only one, and I bork alone My shadow's the only one that borks beside me My shallow lung's the only thing that's borking Sometimes I wish someone out there will bork me Till then I bork alone

 

[Captain.Heroin]

When I was really depressed a dog cheered me up and even its owner was like "it won't come over to me when I'm crying like that"; it's like other species can tell that I am seriously depressed. I think that's something.

It was very humbling.

 

[somnilicious]

Me too, I was at the Union Square Whole Foods and the lines were like ten minutes long and I saw this, which I'd relapsed on last Dec, it looks so innocent just like the non-alcoholic kombucha but it's 3% ABV:

View attachment 14438

I had an urge but it passed, I thought about how much pain and suffering I went thru this year from drinking and using, and I texted a sober friend.

Went to a SMART recovery mtg at 7pm, I do like their philosophy, it isn't 100% perfect but it is closer to my worldview then 12 step is. On the other hand, sometimes the 1 at a time no cross talk 12 step ritual can be nice. But all the magical thinking and irrationality and absolutes I hear in 12 step is distasteful to me personally.

Addiction is so decieving. It's as if the brain is always trying to trick us back into using and it comes fashioned in so many different forms.. often very inocuios for those who aren't prepared.

 

[somnilicious]

Normally this doesn’t happen to me. But I am craving hard drugs and seeming then out. Probably won’t find any. Kind of pissing me off.

Concerned about you Captain. You've been through so much and seem to be self medicating a lot. Be careful with the benzos. They wound up making my anxiety and depression a lot worse. Im not trying to sound patronizing and I'm actually the last person to be saying anything but it comes from the heart. We care about you man.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Concerned about you Captain. You've been through so mich and seem to be self medicating a lot. Be careful with the benzos. They wound up making my anxiety and depression a lot worse. Im not trying to sound patronizing and I'm actually the last person to be saying anything but it comes from the heart. We care about you man.

What would be really nice is if real life didn't suck. I sincerely wish I would just die.

 

[somnilicious]

What would be really nice is if real life didn't suck. I sincerely wish I would just die.

I totally get it. I've been there before and it's easy for me to get back there. I can't always change my circumstances but I can change my perspective and that's when I began to see doors. When I change the way I see things then the things I see change. It's sounds like bullshit but it's simply the law of attraction.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Ha somni I got my cat, but with a background inspired by the tiles I saw on mosques in iran.

Just been to a mint punk gig it was massive, though the band didn't play my favourite song, its called die today, CH if you find music therapeutic, check it out. Hang in there man, hard drugs never go well for long for people like us.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'll post a pic ofof my tattoo when it's finished

 

[somnilicious]

Ha somni I got my cat, but with a background inspired by the tiles I saw on mosques in iran.

Just been to a mint punk gig it was massive, though the band didn't play my favourite song, its called die today, CH if you find music therapeutic, check it out. Hang in there man, hard drugs never go well for long for people like us.

Oh wow! That sounds cool. I can't wait to see it. I love Islamic architecture and mosaics, especially moorish architecture in Morocco and Spain. I my be wrong but did you go to Petra? If so, I am so jealous.

I had an uneventful day. I noticed I have gained a lot of muscle and mass since I stopped the kratom. I've regained vitality ,my skin looks better, My face looks alive. Before I looked like a zombie.

I hope everyone is doing well.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Just been to a mint punk gig it was massive, though the band didn't play my favourite song, its called die today, CH if you find music therapeutic, check it out. Hang in there man, hard drugs never go well for long for people like us.

I'm not gonna go to work today
I want to feel the sun shine on my face
And pretend like everything's okay
Won't let anything get to me

My morning coffee and cigarettes to blaze
Out on the porch with my insanity
I'm gonna be a bum and sit out here all day long
Do it all my own way

I'm gonna be a bum and sit out here all day long
I'm not gonna go to work today

I'm not gonna go to work today
I want to feel the sun shine on my face
And pretend like everything's okay
Won't let anything get to me

I'm not gonna go to work today
I want to feel the sun shine on my face
I'm gonna be a bum and sit out here all day long
I'm not gonna go away

I'm gonna be a bum and sit out here all day long
I don't want to go

I just want to fucking cry today
'Cause nothing ever goes my way
I've spent all my money on cocaine
And I still got rent and bills to pay

Everyone's so fucking pissed at me
The reasons why are so obvious to see
I don't care about anyone when the dealer's paid and gone and the pain is relieved
I'll tie it tight around my neck, kick the chair out with my legs 'cause I want to fucking die today

Yeah, die today

That was quite rich; someone so resigned to laziness and inactivity that their desire to die becomes tongue in cheek and even a teasing impossibility. The message is almost if you would put the effort in to end your life you could just use the same effort and make something positive of it, and I'm too lazy to make a serious attempt so I can ignore the thoughts. Wow. How profound.

I'm sure that's not what the artist intended but, yeah, that's what I got from it.

 

[Zopiclone bandit]

When I was really depressed a dog cheered me up and even its owner was like "it won't come over to me when I'm crying like that"; it's like other species can tell that I am seriously depressed. I think that's something.

It was very humbling.

I've had the same thing, several times when I've been dope sick (coming off heroin / or waiting to score & starting to really feel it) dogs have been on a walk, stopped looked at me then came over to say hello.

"It was very humbling"
You can say that again.

 

[jdfisse]

Had my last "bad" day 7 years and 6 days ago. Today marks 7 years and 5 days clean. In some way they have all been good days, because they have led me to this moment...

 

[Jabberwocky]

I didn't interpret it that way at all CH, to me they're too depressed to do anything and of a self destructive state of mind, not lazy,it is tongue inin cheek but I take the piss out of myself a lot when I feel like shit so I identify. The lyricist has had serious mental health issues so is definitely not suggesting that everything would be ok if he just got off his arse.

Jdfisse well done

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I've had the same thing, several times when I've been dope sick (coming off heroin / or waiting to score & starting to really feel it) dogs have been on a walk, stopped looked at me then came over to say hello.

"It was very humbling"
You can say that again.

I was quite intoxicated so I don't remember it all but I think there's a "grief quality" I exhibited that I'm sure the dog picked up on that regular depression/sadness doesn't exhibit.