Send mental help asap

[Chris Timothy]

One way back to normality is through an acting career, in private or in public.

You'll have to keep dealing with levels, but that's what you're looking at if you fancy greatest common denominator lifestyle from here on.

Or, Zen monastery or the like? Getting out of monkhood by diving right into it should work too.

 

[pupnik]

VP of Sales of what product, what company, how do you know you want that?
Is it even a real thing anymore?
Is there a car and a condo or something?

 

[Woodburner]

If your depression has a biological basis you can either self medicate or seek treatment. I recommend the latter. And yes I understand your resistance to seeking treatment, I've had depression for about 40 years. If you have major depression I'd say it's almost impossible to do all the things you want to do without some kind of medical treatment.

Errm, why are you recommending something that by your own admission and experience doesn't work?

 

[Aeon Psyche]

Really, normal is only a definition given by how you perceive and experience things. You want to be normal? You just have to realise that something abnormal or paranormal doesn't exist. Everything is normal but sometimes it seems a bit more complicated and people define it as strange, weird or abnormal. By understanding this insight that all irregularities are also a part of normalness, you should feel better. For everything so-called "paranormal", there is a very logical explanation that just isn't very apparent at the first eye. Something can only be weird to you when you fail to understand it. Try to improve your insight. If you are not going to look into medicine or drugs to try and help your condition I'd reccomend meditation to help you sort out your thoughts.

 

[babooon87]

What do you when you don’t trust life or anything and anyone else?
I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried medication. I’ve tried healthy diet and exercise. I’ve tried moving to a new city, starting a new life, exploring new interests.
Almost four years ago I abused magic mushrooms and (i think) gave myself a very very mild version of schizophrenia.

Everything changed at that point. I was no longer my former self. I ended up doing really well for a few years due to me not knowing there was anything wrong with me. I remember asking the mushrooms when I was high- I want to feel like this all the time. Please give it to me. And so it was.

I succeeded and excelled for two and a half years of pure sobriety- I used to be a daily smoker, occasional pill popper, etc.
I realized that it all effected me differently. I couldn’t go back to my old ways- I tried using weed and ecstasy when I went back to school after the entire life changing event happened and went to the hospital for drug Induced psychosis.

Anyway my life was good for a few years after , but then I wanted more. I wanted to do everything more. And be the person of my dreams that didn’t feel like the ways of a monk- refrain from material and sensational pleasure.

I want to be like normal people. I want to go back to my old self. My relationships are crumbling, I’m failing at my job, I’m unhappy as hell. I don’t want to turn to medication as I don’t believe in crutches- I want to be at a happy, normal baseline always without assistance or need of anything else.

All the things I want right now require me to be my old self. I don’t want to be so emotional, so dumb, so yogi/monk like, I just want to be regular. I want to be a vp of sales or start my own business and have the hottest girl, I just haven’t been able to come close to that. And I want to do it without medication or strict lifestyle changes.

Any thoughts?

What is your diet like ? This is the first thing to adress if you want to start feeling better.

 

[Aeon Psyche]

Could you also describe why you think you have a mild version of schizophrenia? I find it hard to believe that a single mushroom experience would create a form of schizophrenia. As I do have schizophrenia but I completely control it. I know well enough what it is and I never experienced any problems with shrooms. With other drugs in high doses I would end up psychotic in the past. I personally see psychedelics more as a cure for it than something that would increase such symptoms. Have you ever experienced any epileptic-like tics or anything of that kind? As something like that would be a clear indicator.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Errm, why are you recommending something that by your own admission and experience doesn't work?

Dude, there's a difference between treating a medical condition and curing it, think insulin and diabetes. If you have diabetes and treat it with blood sugar monitoring and insulin you should be able to go about your life more or less. It doesn't cure the diabetes but you can function. Same thing with major depression for some people, you can take care of your health and treat it with meds and go about your business more or less normally. The major depression isn't cured but you can function, go to work, get married, have kids, yadayadayada. I'm sure there are other people on here who understand what I'm saying.