finitelifeform
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2020
- Messages
- 343
DMT Freebase
Roughly 20mg
Oil Burner
On the side of a hill in a national park
I wanted to see whether I could put things right after my last intense trip on DMT brought instant paranoia and thought loops when I naively underestimated the effects of living in a toxic house share on my trip. The house of judgment had been convened and I was being looked down on from above. The house of judgment is true for I am judged tirelessly by a lonely controlling insecure nomad character I live with currently who shuts himself out from the world yet plays a role befitting someone who is in a position to look down on others. So I went back to where I first tried DMT recently to dance with the devil and make an agreement for my peace of mind to be returned, and faith restored in this new material.
The weather has been slightly colder with more rain and thunderstorms lately. It wasnt to be a sizzling summer backdrop for this trip. Whenever is it actually summer in the UK? This was actually a good thing because the heat had affected me last time while the rays from the sun made it hard to see. The ground wasnt too wet in all fairness although it was moist to the touch. My place for this trip was along the hillside overlooking a valley with barren open land all around. A few steps away from my last location, only this time slightly further down the side of the hill.
The day had been hectic so I thought to set some intentions and well wishes to all and myself. I got straight to it. Jet lighters DO work amazingly for DMT. Effortlessly turned the material to liquid except it wasnt to be the first attempt. Too much wind and not enough focused heat on the bulb of the pipe. I went again.
Bingo. Holy sh*t. It took about 30 seconds maybe and then all of a sudden the hillside across the valley started dancing. The body load was almost immediate. I felt sunken somewhat but nothing too unnerving. My breathing also got more shallow. I thought to myself (as I usually do on heavy trips) "You've finally done it now! You are gone!". It felt like a son being told off by his parents. Then came the "Are you going mad?" moment arrived but I was able to be present for this and told myself to stop controlling the experience and be at its mercy. At this moment I had the realization that madness is a construct and what we consider madness is often our own stereotypes and projections based on the stories we tell ourselves. People project out their definition of madness everyday but whose is the realest? People play madness like a role and assume stereotypical traits associated with the stigma, but is that madness or just your thoughts on what madness is?
The field was dancing in front of me swinging from left to right and then spinning in both directions. There was a huge boost in depth of colour and everything felt like it was breathing. Then came the white light. I have never experienced this before. I have read about it and it almost seems mythical. The literature on the white light paints pictures but nothing prepared me for this. Is it what we see before we die? It was like the sky had opened up and light from a horizon at sea had broken out with rays of white light beaming in front of me. It was somewhat like a glare but horizontal and spread across the sky. I couldnt quite make out whether there was entity but it seemed like I was being asked to come through the light. There was definetly a presence felt that transcended everything. This white light remained twinkling and glowing for all but a minute or so and then faded away leaving the hillside in front of me to wiggle around in some joyous celebration.
I felt immense feelings of bliss and peacefulness. There was a huge sense of calm that came over me. All was well. I had ventured out to return my peace of mind and reaffirm grounding after the last experience caused a little storm.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
Roughly 20mg
Oil Burner
On the side of a hill in a national park
I wanted to see whether I could put things right after my last intense trip on DMT brought instant paranoia and thought loops when I naively underestimated the effects of living in a toxic house share on my trip. The house of judgment had been convened and I was being looked down on from above. The house of judgment is true for I am judged tirelessly by a lonely controlling insecure nomad character I live with currently who shuts himself out from the world yet plays a role befitting someone who is in a position to look down on others. So I went back to where I first tried DMT recently to dance with the devil and make an agreement for my peace of mind to be returned, and faith restored in this new material.
The weather has been slightly colder with more rain and thunderstorms lately. It wasnt to be a sizzling summer backdrop for this trip. Whenever is it actually summer in the UK? This was actually a good thing because the heat had affected me last time while the rays from the sun made it hard to see. The ground wasnt too wet in all fairness although it was moist to the touch. My place for this trip was along the hillside overlooking a valley with barren open land all around. A few steps away from my last location, only this time slightly further down the side of the hill.
The day had been hectic so I thought to set some intentions and well wishes to all and myself. I got straight to it. Jet lighters DO work amazingly for DMT. Effortlessly turned the material to liquid except it wasnt to be the first attempt. Too much wind and not enough focused heat on the bulb of the pipe. I went again.
Bingo. Holy sh*t. It took about 30 seconds maybe and then all of a sudden the hillside across the valley started dancing. The body load was almost immediate. I felt sunken somewhat but nothing too unnerving. My breathing also got more shallow. I thought to myself (as I usually do on heavy trips) "You've finally done it now! You are gone!". It felt like a son being told off by his parents. Then came the "Are you going mad?" moment arrived but I was able to be present for this and told myself to stop controlling the experience and be at its mercy. At this moment I had the realization that madness is a construct and what we consider madness is often our own stereotypes and projections based on the stories we tell ourselves. People project out their definition of madness everyday but whose is the realest? People play madness like a role and assume stereotypical traits associated with the stigma, but is that madness or just your thoughts on what madness is?
The field was dancing in front of me swinging from left to right and then spinning in both directions. There was a huge boost in depth of colour and everything felt like it was breathing. Then came the white light. I have never experienced this before. I have read about it and it almost seems mythical. The literature on the white light paints pictures but nothing prepared me for this. Is it what we see before we die? It was like the sky had opened up and light from a horizon at sea had broken out with rays of white light beaming in front of me. It was somewhat like a glare but horizontal and spread across the sky. I couldnt quite make out whether there was entity but it seemed like I was being asked to come through the light. There was definetly a presence felt that transcended everything. This white light remained twinkling and glowing for all but a minute or so and then faded away leaving the hillside in front of me to wiggle around in some joyous celebration.
I felt immense feelings of bliss and peacefulness. There was a huge sense of calm that came over me. All was well. I had ventured out to return my peace of mind and reaffirm grounding after the last experience caused a little storm.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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