• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

RIP Help?!?!

SnarkalarkalarkThe

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 13, 2018
Messages
47
This is incredibly hard to do right now, it didn't really hit me for a few days but the medical examiner calling me this morning set it in. I had completely forgot i was your emergency contact.

You changed my life in so many ways and I'm so glad I got a chance to know you. You were smart and open minded unlike most around here and pushed me to expand my knowledge. I mean chemistry is like my main hobby now and that didn't really kick off till you.

Sad we didn't get to do one more psychedelic and disso binge before you left like we had planned, but I have the memories of the last. When I finally got Chris grounded and put to bed that night and we holed watching trailer park boys, that's one of my best nights ever. Then we did it for a few more days lmao! Where else am I gonna find a guy willing to put an IM needle in my butt because I'm too squeemish?

I'm glad you are finally at peace but it doesn't make this easy or anything. You were one in a million, a genuine person in a cold, uncaring world. You were the last person I could fully trust in this world and that's gonna be hard to deal with for a while but I'll manage.

Maybe if there's something after this I'll see you there, if not peace and know your mannerisms will live on through me, I can't help but to yell help?! Or Hello?!!? anymore.

-SnarkalarkalarkalarkThe471st as you had me saved in your phone <3<3
 

Cosmic Charlie

Moderator: NSADD, PD
Staff member
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
13,788
Location
Franklin's Tower
Are you are serious, did not expect this :(

This is horrible, can't believe i just read that.
I'm gonna miss you, such a good person.

One of my favorite Bluelighters ever <3
 

Xorkoth

Administrator: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
42,740
Location
In the mountains
Rest in peace brother. <3 This is such a blow to me right now. Fucking opiates man. Fuck.

I can't believe this Ryan. :( I know you've had a lot of struggles, but even though I haven't talked to you in a while, it seemed like you had come so far into being happier. Damn it, man... you saw it happen to so many of our other brothers on here over the years.

I can't process this right now, I have too much work to do.

I'll miss you man. <3 <3
 

Cream Gravy?

Moderator: DC, F&TV, PD
Staff member
Joined
Jan 28, 2014
Messages
7,252
I had a sinking feeling this day would come. I always asked after you when I noticed you'd been gone from PD for a while. And always, always always, you were there, letting me know you were okay. And now that dreaded day has come...

I too will miss you <3 more than you may ever know.
 

JackARoe

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2009
Messages
919
Blessings to Help and the family. RIP. He really did help humanity by sharing his knowledge. I still get numb with death and the waves it comes in.
 

Xorkoth

Administrator: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
42,740
Location
In the mountains
I've been thinking of you often this week. I'm really sad we never met up, I know we talked about it but I hoped it would happen in the future, but now it never will. :( Well, you were a good friend of mine anyway. Love you brother, you are and have always been a part of god, and by god, of course, I mean the universe. Really we're the same, we all are. A part of us has died with your passing, and yet it lives on eternally, outside of time, your life is one piece of the sum total experience of the universe. ❤
 

Xorkoth

Administrator: PD, TR, TDS, P&S
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
42,740
Location
In the mountains
I was just thinking about you, Ryan. I hope you're surfing the aether waves, maybe hanging out in DPT or 2C-E space, waiting to shower some people with love. ❤
 

Cosmic Charlie

Moderator: NSADD, PD
Staff member
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
13,788
Location
Franklin's Tower
Your we're one of my favorite Bluelighters ever and I think of you often as well. When I see your posts throughout threads it makes my heart drop each time. Your one of the ones I looked for whenever I was coming back. It's definitely not the same place it always once was. Back when all of us were young and invincible and somehow I made I through this mess. It's the Opiates that bring us all down it seems well the bulk of us. Your death as well as other of our brothers and sisters help me to stay away from the Heroin/Fent best I can and though.

I'm still struggling I try and come here to share about my journey just as you had. Part of you will always live in here while our servers stay up and running all of us will. You changed my life as well and I'd liked you immediately from your posts back in NMI when you first came here your personality was electric like that. Then when you started talking about 2C-E I knew you were one of the PD Fam from the rip. People like you are what make this place as memorable as it is and you were a smart man. Hope your loving the next part of your path back from whence we came. Into the Aether as Xorky just said.

I have a difficult time coming into these Shrine threads I'm a very emotionally person and I dearly miss you, take care good friend <3
 

SnarkalarkalarkThe

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 13, 2018
Messages
47
Just happened to check bluelight today Ryan and it's blacklight I miss you so much man. I was so bad off for so long finally pulling myself together a bit. I've got 8 days opioid free man. Overdosed last Tuesday and stopped cold turkey from there I just didn't want to exist in the world without you. You were my best friend and I didn't know how to cope so I just numbed myself for an hour at a time. Shot after shot just to make myself nod off and not have to exist for a short while. I'm finally done absolutely at the end of my rope I still kiss you like crazy but I'm learning to be okay with you being gone. Been working on radical acceptance with my counselor I love you and I miss you but it's fine everything will be okay things are happening just as they're meant to sucks that you're gone but you finally have some peace I'm sorry your life was so rough too but you were strong and dealt with it I mean the nihilism was strong with you but that's what you needed. Sorry I'm rambling now just wanted to say I miss you and I'm doing better
 

Captain.Heroin

Sr. Moderator: H&R, Words
Staff member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
83,715
Location
Fighting the HOLY WAR against FRANCE FREEDOM FRIES
I've been thinking of you often this week. I'm really sad we never met up, I know we talked about it but I hoped it would happen in the future, but now it never will. :( Well, you were a good friend of mine anyway. Love you brother, you are and have always been a part of god, and by god, of course, I mean the universe. Really we're the same, we all are. A part of us has died with your passing, and yet it lives on eternally, outside of time, your life is one piece of the sum total experience of the universe. ❤
That is so beautiful. We are truly all a part of this together. <3
 
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