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Heroin Relapse in the middle of a kick

albertosal

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 22, 2020
Messages
337
Location
USA
so, I wasnon day 4 of a heroin kick, i used kratom and magnesium mostly to get through it, was able to go to work etc. Couldn't help myself in the middle of a busy shift and just scored. I work tomorrow, I'm sure I'll feel fine, and I still have kratom, but my stupid, stupid ass is wondering if any of yall have experience relapsing amidst a kick. Like how far back does it feel like you get set? Tomorrow is my Friday. So I'm sure I'll feel fine for my shift tomorrow and then I luckily have Mon and Tues off. I feel like if it's just one day it's not going to throw you into full-scale withdrawal right? I'm so mad at myself though, I was feeling fine...
 

Outlier

Social Media & Comm; Moderator: DiTM, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
5,207
Location
Canada
If you were feeling fine you will probably still be fine as long as this slip doesnt drag out any longer. Cant say for sure but I think you wont feel too shitty. The longer you use the worse the withdrawal will be. Stop doing it, get through your shift, take the opportunity with these two days off to get as healthy as you can.

The worst aspect of slipping up like this is the psychological part. Ive been in situations where Ive fucked up once, so I felt therefore I may as well just continue because Im already a failure so I just continue. Having a one off doesnt do much physically except you get high and maybe feel a little rough after and thats normal, but with an addiction its easy to justify sinking much much lower because fuck it. avoid that, it isnt sound reasoning.
 

albertosal

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 22, 2020
Messages
337
Location
USA
So right. Man you always are on point with what you say and I really appreciate it. I love this place. Strangers giving advice to strangers because we are all in the same boat and hurting... its unparalleled really. Nothing like it. My non addict boyfriend and his buddy are making me feel like I'm less than a piece of shit right now and I can't take it anymore. Im about to leave, I still have dope, and I'm feeling really terribly about myself right now. Whatever. Who cares right?
 

Outlier

Social Media & Comm; Moderator: DiTM, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
5,207
Location
Canada
So right. Man you always are on point with what you say and I really appreciate it. I love this place. Strangers giving advice to strangers because we are all in the same boat and hurting... its unparalleled really. Nothing like it. My non addict boyfriend and his buddy are making me feel like I'm less than a piece of shit right now and I can't take it anymore. Im about to leave, I still have dope, and I'm feeling really terribly about myself right now. Whatever. Who cares right?
I hope you managed to resolve that situation somehow or they just left you alone. That sounds like shit man they shouldnt be on you like that. Its pretty par for the course for assholes to be super judgemental towards addiction though. And asshole is the right word, its an illness when people wind up hooked. My DOC crystal meth its only 10% trying it who do, so Ive read.. even the hardest drugs like were using most people arent addicts for doing it, when we are addicts there is something else going on. Its a mental health problem. Substance use disorder.

Nevermind all that though with them. You probably need to get out if that situation somehow for good, to something better though. Escalating the relapse isnt the best idea but I know how it goes. Fucking hard to stop that train.

So I dont know what you did, but hang in there. These things can stop and they can get better.
 

Branggen

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 18, 2013
Messages
702
This is your chance to get out before you dig yourself a hole that's deeper than 1 step
 

Xorkoth

🎨 ARTministrator 🎨
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
56,465
Location
In the mountains
It will make you withdraw for a couple of days longer in total, in my experience. But if kratom was holding you, kratom should still hold you.

FYI, be wary of kratom and unless you fancy switching addictions, stop it as soon as you possibly can. Kratom hits the delta and mu opioid receptors, too, just like heroin, except it's only a partial agonist, and it also hits some other receptors. It is addictive itself, and has withdrawals. In fact I'm coming off of it now.
 

albertosal

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 22, 2020
Messages
337
Location
USA
Shit. I did alright all day and I just called my dealer. All day I was in shock by how good I felt. Normal, not high, energetic. Just fine. So WHY am I fucking up now?
 

December Flower

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2020
Messages
1,394
Shit. I did alright all day and I just called my dealer. All day I was in shock by how good I felt. Normal, not high, energetic. Just fine. So WHY am I fucking up now?
I think cuz you can call him. Maybe delete the number from your phone, and if you're too scared to just delete it write it down first, and see to it that you need multiple steps to get the number again, like give the written down number to a friend/family member you know won't use, or hide it in a safe, so that you cant "just call him", and it's no longer easy

If you have the number memorized, try to memorize random numbers that are super close to that number, so you confuse your brain and hopefully screw up the first number in your memory.
 

burn out

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2006
Messages
7,664
Location
Michigan
Shit. I did alright all day and I just called my dealer. All day I was in shock by how good I felt. Normal, not high, energetic. Just fine. So WHY am I fucking up now?
Because you felt good. When you feel good during your kick, you think "ok this isn't so bad I got this. I can get away with using one more time 'cause I can just withdraw again after that and it's not even that bad".
 

burn out

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2006
Messages
7,664
Location
Michigan
Shit. I did alright all day and I just called my dealer. All day I was in shock by how good I felt. Normal, not high, energetic. Just fine. So WHY am I fucking up now?
Because you felt good. When you feel good during your kick, you think "ok this isn't so bad I got this. I can get away with using one more time 'cause I can just withdraw again after that and it's not even that bad".
 

GetMeOutOfThisCRAP

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 20, 2017
Messages
1,733
Welcome to the all of us world lol.

One measily high won't bring the sickness back and worse. It takes a lot to even get to the opiate withdrawal point--so a relapse or two... even 5 maybe won't bring it back as worse as it was initially (but don't push it definitely). The problem with the relapses are that usually people feel so great getting that relief. They then take more and more and overdose (withdrawal lessens tolerance at a fast rate) or just repeat the same cycle of using 4 times a day all over again.
 
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