• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Captain.Heroin | madness00
  • Bluelight HOT THREADS
  • Let's Welcome Our NEW MEMBERS!

Redefining personality to make the sex better

JohnBoy2000

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2016
Messages
1,416
Edit; thread preface - If you're intrigued by the title alone, the first few pages of this thread are mostly preamble.
The actual material/concepts begins here (page 5).
However, it's an evolving concept and most up to date material is most recently posted, so starting at the end of the thread and working backwards is probably the fastest way to bring oneself up to speed.


This post explains the overall fractal concept of the application.

Just some clarity additionally on what this insanely long thread is all about - a quotation:
"If you're wondering what keeps me churning out these walls of confounding text;
Very simply I feel I've serendipitously hit upon something, in a sense a wonderful discovery (well, technically cats were using cues long before me, but not do this degree of efficiency/optimization) and I'm exploring it, making sense of why and how it works as it does"


**

Not sure how accepting BL will be of this topic/thread but, I said I'll give it a whirl.

My main posting subforum has been neuroscience and pharm, as I've used all types of psychoactives over a period of years.
And they have been completely pivotal as to my ability to implement personality changes.

This makes me throw into question historical psychiatric vs psychological treatment paradigms or rather, question why they have historically been seen as oppositional, vs understanding they work in unison.

I speculate a maladaptive personality was the reason I may had become unwell in the first place - or more specifically, a maladaptive emotional process (to me, one is just a synonym of the other).

Bottom line was I think - the baseline requirement as humans - is intimacy.

A maladaptive personality is basically like kryptonite for intimacy, which seemed to precipitate in myself neural dysfunction in a sense such that it is outwardly characterized as "depression".
In any case, I was treated with anti-depressants, and they were like rocket fuel at a time when I truly thought this engine may never run again.


So, with the end goal of "intimacy" being the objective, over time I'd learn, the best, most efficient, and arguably the only real way to obtain this, is via being a good at sex. But good at sex to the point where the opposite gender, wants to have sex with you, for no other reason apart they know you can reliably induce an orgasm in them (for a man to state this, is kind of bold. Women can reliably induce an orgasm in men - not the other way around).

How to be good at sex?

It's about emotional induction/process (really is all in the head), resultant - what we'd outwardly call our, "personality".

To modify this, I began using what neuroscience refers to as, "self dialogue".
As Buddha said, "If I think it, I become it".
Never paid attention to Buddha or anything else he said but, came across this in passing and, yeah - I'd agree with it.

Self dialogue, it started off by repeating things to myself as a means to level out emotional process/induction - and seemingly it had apparent effect - both in my own emotional state, and more profoundly (and mind blowingly to me at the time), others responses to me, behaviorally, physically, every way.

Later I would reduce applications from strings of sentences, to simple words or, what I refer to as, "cues".

....

Just before I start going into essay territory - just checking with subforum moderators - with this topic, I'm good to proceed here?


PS - this is a continuation of the original psychforums thread:
And subsequent:

That forum was locked overall however, so now I'm at bluelight.
This is continuation, thread #3.
 
Last edited:

JohnBoy2000

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2016
Messages
1,416
I'll take that as a yes.

So, using cues.

Some sports folk use cues to tremendous effect, to influence their effective "behavior", but as it pertains to their chosen sport.

With that being said - I gotta jump back a little first;
What is, the "behavior" of humans?
Well - to then press the fast forward button, after much deduction - the determination would be that the "behavior" of humans, is based on emotion.

Emotion.

That which psychology basically revolves around, or has been attempting to understand.


Basically - sex without emotional implication or a good emotional dynamic, for man - he can normally get his rocks off.
For a woman - forget about it.
Nothing doing.

My contention here is, there's a predisposed, genetically predisposed I guess you could say - disposition of the male, and the female.

Putting aside contemporary feminist ideals etc - the historical state has been,

- Men = big strong, imposing, authoritative, deal with manual work/labor etc
- Women = coy, comparatively weak, deal with physical less intense roles, housekeeping etc.

You get what I'm saying.

It's like this,

Men
I - - - - \
I - - - - - - \
I - - - - - - - - \
I - - - - - - - - - - - \
I - - - - - - - - - - - - - \
I - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Women

A badly drawn diagram - but with the intention to illustrate the kind of, "flow state", of men toward women.

There's a gender imbalance basically - and resultantly, we see societal imbalance such, women are the sexual choosers.
Men - chasers.

Now, there's finer points and exceptions, but by and large, the vast vast vast majority of the time, this is how it goes down.


My idea behind using cues was, to transcend this naturally occurring predisposed state - or, augment it vastly, developing the emotional process/induction paradigm - such to effectively equalize gender roles.

Thus, put in place an emotional paradigm so well understood, and well developed, that men could embody the best of what men could be, but additionally almost the female state - in that they could additionally become the sexual "choosers".


This probably seems like such an alien concept that, if any of ya'll have made it this far, you're just thinking, "brain cannot compute" - my avatar is intended to reflect what I anticipate your feelings to be on the matter.
 
Last edited:

JohnBoy2000

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2016
Messages
1,416
This probably seems like such an alien concept that, if any of ya'll have made it this far, you're just thinking, "brain cannot compute" - my avatar is intended to reflect what I anticipate your feelings to be on the matter.
Your avatar describes how readers or at least to speak for myself.. I, feel about this thread.
 

checktest

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
339
Location
The Aether
Shady is making the most sense here....

Basically I'm getting a psychodynamic interpretation of a Parental investment theory (sexual selection var of r vs. k pretty much) vibe going on, with some gender stereotypes and a defining focus on the act of sex itself. The sex that may have more investment in an offspring (women having to bear a child over 9 months etc...) could tend to be 'choosier' vs the sex that might have less (men spreading around genes). Followed up with some societal view that as there are more people and challenges/ layers in our modern world men would have more choice due to relative power and ability to change circumstances, as well as contraception or something.

Perhaps I'm just skeptical coming from ending a roughly two year relationship earlier this year that had good sex and convenience but lacked intimacy. I don't see the core of intimacy as being good at sex . I'd counter with trust and mutual understanding, intimacy as a state of sharing with one another at another level, a shared privacy so to speak. (Note intimacy can be quite good for good sex of course, as the individuals can react and learn with one another, and feel comfortable indulging themselves and each other.)

Just talking and repeating stuff to yourself doesn't mean you are listening and reacting to others. What I present as a personality also comes into play, but the nature, the character of a person, their realities and shared experiences builds upon it. We construct and build intimacy rather than only present it.

As for better personalities for better sex, yeah, definitely some people can mesh better when acting and presenting differently.

I think a lot of people would not just have sex (in the long term) even if it was the best sexual partner in the world, given other determinants of risk in sex.
 

JohnBoy2000

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2016
Messages
1,416
Concisely - manipulating the flow state of men to women.

**

I guess that's it in a nutshell (though additionally it could be said, perfecting the flow state of women to men).

To expand on that, elucidating an emotional dynamic such to reliably induce sexual gratification.

One of the challenges here I feel is gonna be finding a means to express this such that, to someone who's not me - it actually makes sense.

Emotional dynamic - you ask you regular dude, he's gonna look at you cross eyed - what's that?
 
Last edited:

JohnBoy2000

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2016
Messages
1,416
I know some men think like they are hunters, weak and powerless regarding the women's choices.. but that's not true, by no means.

Women are out there hunting and trying to catch their preys. So are you a hunter or a prey?
I would agree to a certain extent, but their means are different to men.

They lure their prey in.

Men just fucking charge in and hope for a good outcome.
 

JohnBoy2000

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2016
Messages
1,416
There are women who do what you say most or all men do towards women.
Sure.

This is the difficulty in describing this process.

It's like quantum mechanics, human dynamics - an oxymoron.
Something deeply hidden.

They go one way, but also go another.
It's roasting hot inside the ice cold freezer.
....
Jumbo shrimp.

:?
 

jose ribas da silva

Bluelighter
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
3,580
Location
Beyond the darkness
in the end, it is a matter of supply and demand.

If there are too many men around, the girl will be there, not speaking, just selecting who is the one that will let the humiliation aside. Whut? Humiliation?

Yes, there will be some idiots who will be there drooling in the poor girl, offering free drinks, glazed eyes fixed watching her, praising her - "you're so beautiful", "I like your hair". None of them will succeed.

the one who will succeed will be the guy who ignored her at the beginning, enjoyed the night with his friends still ignoring her while the others where there like waiving tail dogs ... and then later this guy approach this princess in the same manner that he would approach the ugliest woman only for sex.. without any effort.

In conclusion, it is a matter of supply and demand.. put a lot of women in a party only with a few men, other women and gays and see if they will be acting like untouchable Dysney princesses
 

Painful One

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
I agree though that it takes an emotional connection for me and a SOUL and spirit connection.
That is what attracts women like a magnet. Like a moth to the flame.

Plus lots of foreplay. This is where you men always mess up! Women‘s engines heat up slowly.
If you want to make us have an orgasm then you had best be doing so much foreplay that we are literally begging for it before you even try and fuck us! Learn this lesson!!
 
Last edited:

madness00

Sr. Moderator: NMI, MH, CD, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
12,577
Location
New England
That's probably why I can't hold down a relationship. I can fake intimacy but when push comes to shove they realize I just am unavailable. Lol whatever I like the bachelor life anyway.
 

Painful One

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
That's probably why I can't hold down a relationship. I can fake intimacy but when push comes to shove they realize I just am unavailable. Lol whatever I like the bachelor life anyway.
You are missing out my friend!
 
Top