Mental Health PTSD from Psych ward stay

[telepathetic]

in my experience, 1 out of the 10 I went to had any sort of educated or compassionate staff who wanted to help, and the others are full of assholes and are pretty often shut down for insurance/medicaid fraud.

 

[paranoid android]

in my experience, 1 out of the 10 I went to had any sort of educated or compassionate staff who wanted to help, and the others are full of assholes and are pretty often shut down for insurance/medicaid fraud.

Damn you've been in 10? How long in total have you spent in the psych ward and may i ask have you done any time in solitary?

 

[telepathetic]

Damn you've been in 10? How long in total have you spent in the psych ward and may i ask have you done any time in solitary?

Yes I have been in solitary/isolation, in jail and psychwards. 6-10 yeah. Longest ever was 30 day hold.

 

[iridescentblack]

I was also given a Ativan injection in the ass while being held down by 4 security guards and a nurse. Ativan injections sting worse in the ass then in the thigh (the way i IMED them) so needless to say the injection only pissed me off more. Plus with my benzo tolerance ativan did fuck all.

At one point I had a pretty intense kriya which was mistaken for a seizure while I was in a 3 month stay. Lol, they gave me a shot of something in the glute, idk what but I farted on the nurse who gave it to me. I hope I gave him pink eye.

I read through your entire post (the first one in this thread) and I can't say I fully understand, but pretty close. There was one bit in particular. I think the rootof your ptsd could stem from the root chakra, but that's just my opinion and I'll say no more about that.

Nurses are pretty bad, like borderline evil in mental hospitals, even nowadays. The hospital I went to had some pretty cool nurses but then there were the ones who clearly just wanted to be there to wrestle people to the ground for being disturbed, which didn't make any sense to me because of one patient, in particular, whom a bunch of bruisers followed around constantly. But I generally don't talk about my experiences with that guy. I just personally didn't like anyone who had a problem with him. Anyway, a neighbor I knew told me that same hospital used to be pretty much the equivalent of an asylum, where the nurses would literally beat the patients for (what I wouldn't be surprised if I knew was) no reason at all besides boredom.

That was a fun read, by the way. Really enjoyed your writing style.

 

[paranoid android]

2 fucking years later and im still dealing with tis shit. I keep getting flashbacks and i keep waking up thinking im back there. Does this shit ever go away?

 

[Illyria99]

2 fucking years later and im still dealing with tis shit. I keep getting flashbacks and i keep waking up thinking im back there. Does this shit ever go away?

I don't think it ever completely goes away. There was a time in my life that I was in and out of psych units. Some of them were rather posh, but the others? Horrifying...being at the mercy of barely-educated hospital staff, being forcibly medicated, and/or being put into a strait jacket...just so much inhumane shit that went on. Like overhearing a staff member laughing with a coworker about how he got a blow job from one of the patients (she was 16) in exchange for a few Klonopin. He noticed me standing there and sneered, "You can say whatever you want, but NO ONE will ever believe you."

Anyway, those memories pop up every now and then...out of the blue, just BAM!! Total fucking recall. I don't know if it ever goes away. Probably not, because that kinda shit just melts a part of your soul.

 

[paranoid android]

^ That shit doesent surprise me at all as disgusting as it is. The nurses at my psych ward where all fucking cunts.

It sounds like you had a fuck of a time to. Atleast they didnt have straight jackets at the psych ward i was in. Isolation was bad enough thank you. I just had another dream about the psych ward. In this one i dreamed i stabbed a few security guards so i guess the dream wasent all bad. Now it's 6:30am and i cant get back to sleep great.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

Sorry to hear you got PTSD from the psych ward. I've been in 6 different mental hospitals. My shortest stay was 4 days and my longest stay was when I was committed at a state hospital and stayed 6 weeks. The state hospital was almost like a minimum security prison. Nothing to do all day but watch TV, everyone in the common area segregated themselves by color, there were fights between patients almost every day. One guy used to sucker punch people at random. He'd walk up and just wail on someone for no apparent reason. I managed to avoid being sucker punched while there.

Just got out of one earlier this month after a weeklong stay. At this place, the nighttime flashlights came every 15 minutes. All night every night, of course.

I got isolation at one place because I threw all my clothes in the washing machine then asked the nurses for scrubs. They wouldn't give me any so I walked out in the common area in my skivvies and sat down to watch TV. That alone was enough for them to bring in all their bouncers and give me a shot of something in the ass and they tied me to a wooden bed with no mattress. Don't remember how long I was tied to the bed.

The fact that you guys got to smoke herb while inside makes me really jealous lol. I've never heard of anything like that. If they had herb at the state hospital, I'm sure most of the fights would have never happened.

 

[paranoid android]

^ Our hospital was pretty much miniumum security as well. Thank fuck i didnt end up in the forensic unit because its medium security and they search everyone coming in. That sucks you had to put up with violent people. I was the only violent one on my ward but i was only really a threat to security and 1 doctor and 1 nurse so yeah.

Yeah we got to smoke alot of weed. One of the first memories i have in the psych ward is coming to and the guy who was from fucking Rwanda of all places and next to me had some really good weed and he got me to roll a big joint for him. Someone always had weed so wed get stoned and order Dominoes or some fried chicken or get someone to go for Mcdonalds . So it wasent all bad i guess.

 

[acklac7]

The first time you get locked in a Psych ward is usually a fairly traumatic experience, try and learn from it.

Also keep in mind that not all Psych wards are created equal. There are some that are amazing, some that are shit. Sounds like you were detained in the later. That said, as with any incarceration situation, you piss in someone's Cheerios chances are they're going to piss in yours right back. Just something to think about.

You were indeed lucky to have Weed AND outside Food available. Usually it's tough to get plain old outside food - most Psych Hospitals have done away with it. I've never heard of anyone having access to weed.

 

[acklac7]

Im sorry you also had a bad time in there. OMG the boredom is about the worst. There was absolutely nothing for us to do in there and our unit had no programs or anything to help people either. So there was literally nothing to do all day but watch TV which sucked for me because i barely watch TV at all. Nothing to do but watch people roam around like fucking zombies which didnt help my mental status at all either. For the 14 hours that i was not supposed to be sleeping i had nothing to do whatsoever and that's alot of time to kill. I only even saw a psychologist once or twice ffs never mind not seeing a therapist or having any programs of treatment to help us. I will never forget one time when we where all watching the aquarium channel and looking at the fish one guy said "Hey that's us it's like we are in a aquarium here". I thought damn that guy is right this place looks like one big aquarium. Or one big fucking human zoo

Where on gods earth where you at if you don't mind me asking? I've been in 3 different Psych wards and have never experienced anything close to what you're describing.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Where on gods earth where you at if you don't mind me asking? I've been in 3 different Psych wards and have never experienced anything close to what you're describing.

This is not uncommon for psych wards. The psych ward I was in was like that, and an ex of mine was in a different psych ward and his was like that too (paranoid android is in Canada, and I'm in Australia, opposite sides of the planet and yet the psych wards are the same).

 

[plumbus-nine]

Yeah, psych ward fucked me up too, besides that they first gave me up to 3mg/d of lorazepam for 3 months and then put me off cold turkey without warning, the isolation indeed is the fucking worst. It's plain torture when they let you in there for longer - thankfully I was never in more than a day but time just hangs there and doesn't pass. They should give you at least a book or have some television etc. to be left alone without nothing is so bad. We had screamers too, I was in different wards, never the psychotic one but it was next to that and every single hour was alarm and all the nurses and security guards ran in there. The ward above was for heavy withdrawals and I guess they just threw people in isolation because they were screaming all day and night ... also these shitty antipsychotics kill the brain's ability to heal itself if you ask me, I never took them for longer but was forced to take some while in wards and I'd say they contributed to PTSD. I couldn't sleep for months, always just with some TV on or lights on etc. it's soo worse when the place which is intended to "heal" you damages you further. I was scared shitless and always afraid of needing another stay. Altogether I was in for maybe 2 years, mostly on acceptable open wards but also like 4-5 months on acute, closed wards ... also mostly just waiting for a place in the open ward, I quickly learned how to behave for not to get tortured by them but it's bad enough to be there and watch how they treat you and others.. and on risperidone which they injected me I got a full on psychotic break, don't remember 9 complete days and got a diagnosis of antisocial disorder.

Oh, and psych wards are the same all over the world. Switzerland is quite modern in some aspects, they try to open the wards as much as possible and don't do cold turkey in most cases but you still find examples of the same bad old stuff.. I know from Mexico that it's the same and you say Australia too, fuck that. I know of a case where somebody is in isolation for months without any distraction.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Yeah, psych ward fucked me up too, besides that they first gave me up to 3mg/d of lorazepam for 3 months and then put me off cold turkey without warning, the isolation indeed is the fucking worst. It's plain torture when they let you in there for longer - thankfully I was never in more than a day but time just hangs there and doesn't pass. They should give you at least a book or have some television etc. to be left alone without nothing is so bad. We had screamers too, I was in different wards, never the psychotic one but it was next to that and every single hour was alarm and all the nurses and security guards ran in there. The ward above was for heavy withdrawals and I guess they just threw people in isolation because they were screaming all day and night

That sounds VERY very similar to my time in the psych ward. Extremely disturbing, I had multiple panic attacks listening to all the random screaming and hearing the security guards tackle them to the ground and doctors having to give midazolam shots and stuff like that. Random screaming down the halls at 3am. Seeing patients after they've just had ECT, zombified *shudders*

 

[Nurse Ratched]

The first time you get locked in a Psych ward is usually a fairly traumatic experience, try and learn from it.

Also keep in mind that not all Psych wards are created equal. There are some that are amazing, some that are shit. Sounds like you were detained in the later. That said, as with any incarceration situation, you piss in someone's Cheerios chances are they're going to piss in yours right back. Just something to think about.

You were indeed lucky to have Weed AND outside Food available. Usually it's tough to get plain old outside food - most Psych Hospitals have done away with it. I've never heard of anyone having access to weed.

That first line is so true. I only had one 72 hour stay in my life and when I left I never repeated the behavior that got me in there. Shit was an eye opener and luckily it was due to a one time incident and not serious mental health issues. There certainly was no weed but I saw some patients getting outside food from their families. I said no sir, yes sir, did all the therapy, ate the food and pretended to sleep. The Dr. said okay run along little girl and straighten the fuck up. I said yes sir and did so. Real eye opener that stay was.

 

[plumbus-nine]

That first line is so true. I only had one 72 hour stay in my life and when I left I never repeated the behavior that got me in there.

This is imho was most people try and do, and what doctors count as therapeutic success but it's just avoidance. I also believe that most of the success with antipsychotics is instead people not wanting to get more of the dysphoric hell these medicines induce ...

 

[Nurse Ratched]

This is imho was most people try and do, and what doctors count as therapeutic success but it's just avoidance. I also believe that most of the success with antipsychotics is instead people not wanting to get more of the dysphoric hell these medicines induce ...

Thank goodness I have never had to take an AP ( not even in there ). In fact they gave me nothing. It was alcohol related combativeness and mainly being an asshole. I wouldn't listen to reason when someone was trying to help me and made a fool of myself. I suppose i could have gone to jail instead but I guess they thought I needed an evaluation. Which I did. And the evaluation was what I needed to quit being an asshole. So luckily I have never been medicated ( except on my own terms ) and then not even that anymore. I realize I was lucky. I just needed to be reminded that my behavior was unacceptable and I was wise enough to say yep, you're right it was. It was a one off and because I was intoxicated as opposed to having a longer running issue so i am thankful as I know others in this forum are not so lucky.

 

[plumbus-nine]

Antipsychotics are antidotes to life. Not everybody gets it so strong with the modern generation of antipsychs and the partial agonists like abilify are much less worse but still induce anhedonia and symptoms mimicking inattentive ADD (inability to focus) as well as potentially tardive dyskinesia - they weren't around for long enough to tell that yet. Also make your brain shrink. But the older, typical APs - fuck hell, I'd rather die than requiring one of these. They block dopamine and thus your reward circuits. Nothing is fun anymore. Your motoric abilities go out for lunch. Sex, what's that again? Memory goes haywire. I full on hallucinated people on chlorprothixene (Truxal) and had psychotic breaks I never had before or after on risperidone. This makes me believe that either I'm specially weird about my genetics or that I'm no isolated case and that's the more likely option. I've helped a few people to titrate down and stop their year-long taken APs just cause the doc said they'd need them, not because of actual need, and they hated their medicine / how they made feel them. Just have a look at the 'getting off Invega Sustenna' threads here, how many postings they have. Some people seem to respond more or less well to APs but I'm unsure whether they just began to believe their own lies.

Yeah, I guess sometimes it's what one needed, much like a short prison stay which also convinced me not to break law any more - probation and monetary fines are bad but not always hard enough to make one really learn to behave like society wants you to behave. Then an attorney of state decided to give me a lesson and fuck yeah I understood. Maybe I'm even a bit thankful because it was just a single day but one of the longest of my life, I was mostly alone in the cell, smoking cigs (was legal here, they even offered you to buy some - they give you these cigs the customs seized from smugglers and might contain hell knows what but it's cigs) and trying to calm my racing mind and heart because I didn't know really for what I was in there, they told me exactly nothing, nor for how long and if it was investigation jail or if I had to go in for a delict, nor got I the chance to call a lawyer. They only told me 'later'. At least I got my medicine because it was a unit which often dealt with addicts.

 

[acklac7]

This is not uncommon for psych wards. The psych ward I was in was like that, and an ex of mine was in a different psych ward and his was like that too (paranoid android is in Canada, and I'm in Australia, opposite sides of the planet and yet the psych wards are the same).

The Psych wards I've been in (US) have had planned events throughout the day. You get to go to the gym, you get to exercise, you get to go to anger management / substance abuse / coping skills classes, you get to go outside, you get to like, do stuff. I can't imagine just sitting there all day? How are you supposed to get better?

 

[acklac7]

That first line is so true. I only had one 72 hour stay in my life and when I left I never repeated the behavior that got me in there. Shit was an eye opener and luckily it was due to a one time incident and not serious mental health issues. There certainly was no weed but I saw some patients getting outside food from their families. I said no sir, yes sir, did all the therapy, ate the food and pretended to sleep. The Dr. said okay run along little girl and straighten the fuck up. I said yes sir and did so. Real eye opener that stay was.

Yeah, that's really all there is too it. No sir, yes sir, go to therapy, take all your meds and you'll be out of there in a week. The biggest mistake most people make is refusing to take their meds. Just take your meds while you're there, and then stop taking them the day you get released (if you so choose) it's pretty easy.