Mental Health PTSD from Psych ward stay

[paranoid android]

So 2 years ago i had a complete Psychotic breakdown. I eventually ended up in the local Psych ward and let's say i had a hard time adjusting to it. On my first night there i knocked out a doctor for no reason i can remember so my stay there got off to a rocky start. I was thrown in isolation for what felt like days but couldn't have been longer then one day at most i think. Your sense of time in isolation goes out the window. I was also given a Ativan injection in the ass while being held down by 4 security guards and a nurse. Ativan injections sting worse in the ass then in the thigh (the way i IMED them) so needless to say the injection only pissed me off more. Plus with my benzo tolerance ativan did fuck all. As soon as i was let out of isolation i promptly punched the first security guard i saw in the face and got thrown in there again for a unknown part of time. This time when i got out i refrained from punching mainly cause i needed my meds. In total i got thrown in isolation 6 times but it could have ben more my memory is fucked from my time in there.

I get up to the nurses station and no meds for you8 today sir. As it turns out my shrink decided i did not need my morphine, clonazepam or even Seroquel! What shrink takes someone off Seroquel id like to know. At this point i start to get real pissed and punch a male nurse in the face. After some struggle with security i get carted off to another stay in isolation. For anyone who's interested isolation fucking is the worst. I can't imagine spending 14 days in there or more like they do in prison.

Even worse then the isolation maybe was the screaming on the ward. Some people scream at themselves (this was a ward with mostly psychotics and bipolar people on it) and people scream when they get hauled off by security from causing a disturbance (which can be anything from telling a nurse to fuck off to fighting) to refusing to take your meds. Every night id hear some poor guy refuse to take his meds and get hauled away to isolation.

Between all this i had to deal with months of cold turkey withdrawal from 6mg's of Clonazepam a day and 150mg's of Morphine a day. I received no meds for withdrawal not even Loperamide or Ibuprofen. How i didnt have a seizure ill never know. It's the worst thing i have ever ben through so far and ive been through bad shit before.


When i got out my shrink said it sounded like i got PTSD from what he told me. Right now im taking Zopiclone, Clonazepam and lotsa weed for it. It helps but not always.

My question is does anyone else have PTSD from a Psych ward stay? And any help in how to get over it would be great. Thanks

 

[G_Chem]

MDMA and psychedelics are huge for PTSD. In fact I’d say they correct that condition more than any other... They allow you to relive the traumatic event in a safe mindstate where the memories become less intense and incapacitating. They also cause neurogenesis in areas of the brain known for memory, which it seems may play a part in discarding old unwanted memories.

-GC

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hi pa, it's good to see you back (I only just came back on here too). But fuck man I am SO sorry to hear about what happened to you in the psych ward. I had mild PTSD from a psych ward stay about 5 years ago but nothing compared to that!!
So your psychiatrist knows all about what happened?? You talk to him about it? What kind of PTSD symptoms do you have? (if you wanna go in to that)

 

[paranoid android]

MDMA and psychedelics are huge for PTSD. In fact I’d say they correct that condition more than any other... They allow you to relive the traumatic event in a safe mindstate where the memories become less intense and incapacitating. They also cause neurogenesis in areas of the brain known for memory, which it seems may play a part in discarding old unwanted memories.

-GC

Right now i can't get MDMA but i can get shrooms eassy enough. Was thinking bout trying it out soon.

Hi pa, it's good to see you back (I only just came back on here too). But fuck man I am SO sorry to hear about what happened to you in the psych ward. I had mild PTSD from a psych ward stay about 5 years ago but nothing compared to that!!
So your psychiatrist knows all about what happened?? You talk to him about it? What kind of PTSD symptoms do you have? (if you wanna go in to that)

OMG it's been ages! Nice to see you. Arent we to old cunts on here lol. Sorry you had your own bad psych ward experience that sucks. My shrink knows about it yeah. Mostly i get nightmares and flashbacks thinking im there













n

 

[n3ophy7e]

Yeah I miss you mate! I hope your PTSD gets easier soon. Low dose psilocybin can help a lot

 

[Meth novice 79]

How could you NOT get PTSD from that?
Fuck.
They sure know their stuff in the mental health system don’t they?

 

[sigmond]

I have not been given a specific diagnosis of PTSD/C-PTSD but there was a time when I had all the characteristics, symptoms, hallmarks, and many associated behaviors. However, my ptsd happened from events outside of treatment facilities. I struggle daily with traumatic memories and have yet to find any treatment that will provide extended relief. From what I have read, a combination of EMDR and talk therapy seems to offer the best chance of success. I would add in yoga or an athletic pursuit that you enjoy; running and swimming work well for me. I basically try to get in healthy 'flow states' as often as possible which is something far easier said then done.

I learned a lot from reading these books:

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker​

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk​

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté​

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn​

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine​

​

 

[n3ophy7e]

Wow that's awesome sigmond, thank you!

 

[sigmond]

np n3o.

An important issue regarding trauma that I wish I was aware of earlier is retraumatization.

Retraumatization happens when people with PTSD are exposed to people, places, events, situations, or environments that cause them to re-experience past trauma as if it were fresh or new. While normal triggers can bring back unpleasant memories, or even provoke disturbing flashbacks, retraumatizing events are especially powerful triggers that somehow recreate the intense dynamics associated with the original traumatic encounters or episodes.

Vivid reexperiencing of past trauma is notable and terrifying because it returns PTSD sufferers to the most painful moments of their lives, to memories of experiences that caused significant psychological and emotional damage. Retraumatization should not be confused with revictimization, where men and women with PTSD are abused or injured in the same way again. Retraumatizing events replicate important elements of the original trauma (i.e., feelings of a loss of power, control, or personal safety) without replicating the actual events themselves.

Experiences that retraumatize may involve some degree of physical or emotional suffering. But it is their capacity to remind men and women with PTSD of times they’d rather forget that gives them their potency.

link

Habitually ruminating on the event that caused your ptsd before your body and mind is ready to accept and let go of its impact will only worsen the negative effects and make it more difficult to process. If you notice your symptoms worsening when the event is recalled it might be best to use CBT, breathing exercises, meditation, grounding techniques, music, exercise - or just about anything that can get you to think about something more pleasant. I am not a DR or a professional so I am unsure when the opportune time is (if there ever is one) and its different for each person.

I feel your pain though. According to the best theories out there trauma is mainly experienced in your mind but is stored throughout the body. That is why EMDR, acupuncture and yoga have been some of the most successful treatments.

 

[Ketamania]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this friend.

Unfortunately, my first visit to a mental hospital went terribly as well. I couldn't stop thinking about it 24/7 for at least a week after I left.

However, after explaining my experience with my therapist and using MDMA/acid/shrooms to aid in the healing process, I feel much more comfortable with myself now.

I would highly suggest therapy, as well as the other things previous members have mentioned.

 

[JessFR]

I'm sorry for what you went though.

I've been in a psych ward and a psych hospital (depression/suicide attempt). Fortunately I didn't find the experience traumatizing. It was all in all a positive experience for me.

I do have ptsd from other things that have happened in my life though.

I've never really had much success in seeing shrinks for my ptsd, I've found it too difficult to trust them. But it's probably still worth a try if you can. Some people do find it helpful. Particularly some of the techniques psychologists teach. I've found it a bit easier to trust them than psychiatrists. Partly perhaps because I've long found it extremely difficult to trust and not be on edge around anyone who seems like an authority figure.

I've found the biggest thing that's helped is just time. I'd love to tell you I eventually got over it, most of this shit happened in my childhood and early teens, about 17-18 years ago now.

But I haven't gotten over it, I have gotten a lot better though, even without prolonged psychological treatment for what happened.

Any highly traumatic experience can potentially result in ptsd, and what you describe certainly sounds very traumatic. While my trauma isn't related to my experience in a mental hospital I've known other people who have had such experiences. You're definitely not alone in having this experience.

There's therapy, there's drug assisted therapy like they're looking at with mdma. There's also just little things, working out what triggers you and trying to avoid those triggers.

Over time most of my triggers have gotten less severe, but I still experience them sometimes, something that especially reminds me of what happened and makes me feel like I'm almost having a panic attack or fills me with terror and dread. It used to happen a lot more but now it's pretty uncommon.

Over time the nightmares about it have also gotten less and less frequent as well.

I would strongly encourage you to try some of the support options others have suggested, but I will add that, in my experience at least. Time and distance also eventually helps on its own. There's things you can do to help that along. But, my point is, it won't always be as bad as it is now.

Good luck man, hope anything I said was at all helpful.

 

[paranoid android]

I have not been given a specific diagnosis of PTSD/C-PTSD but there was a time when I had all the characteristics, symptoms, hallmarks, and many associated behaviors. However, my ptsd happened from events outside of treatment facilities. I struggle daily with traumatic memories and have yet to find any treatment that will provide extended relief. From what I have read, a combination of EMDR and talk therapy seems to offer the best chance of success. I would add in yoga or an athletic pursuit that you enjoy; running and swimming work well for me. I basically try to get in healthy 'flow states' as often as possible which is something far easier said then done.

I learned a lot from reading these books:

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker​

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk​

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté​

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn​

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine​

Here in Canada you have to pay for a therapist so that's out for me even though id love to see one. I will look up those books though so thanks.

An important issue regarding trauma that I wish I was aware of earlier is retraumatization.




Habitually ruminating on the event that caused your ptsd before your body and mind is ready to accept and let go of its impact will only worsen the negative effects and make it more difficult to process. If you notice your symptoms worsening when the event is recalled it might be best to use CBT, breathing exercises, meditation, grounding techniques, music, exercise - or just about anything that can get you to think about something more pleasant. I am not a DR or a professional so I am unsure when the opportune time is (if there ever is one) and its different for each person.

I feel your pain though. According to the best theories out there trauma is mainly experienced in your mind but is stored throughout the body. That is why EMDR, acupuncture and yoga have been some of the most successful treatments.

I had this problem because up until a month ago i had to go back to the same psych ward i stayed in every month for my Abilify injection. Everytime i went there i would get flashbacks from when i was in the psych ward so id only think more about my time in there. Needless to say this did not help my anxiety or nightmares either.

I will look into the treatments you mentioned so thanks. I already use grounding techniques to help me realize im not back in there when im having a flashback.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this friend.

Unfortunately, my first visit to a mental hospital went terribly as well. I couldn't stop thinking about it 24/7 for at least a week after I left.

However, after explaining my experience with my therapist and using MDMA/acid/shrooms to aid in the healing process, I feel much more comfortable with myself now.

I would highly suggest therapy, as well as the other things previous members have mentioned.

When i get some money im ordering some Blue Meanies so hopefully Psilocybin will help. Sorry you had your own terrible psych ward experience that fucking sucks.

I'm sorry for what you went though.

I've been in a psych ward and a psych hospital (depression/suicide attempt). Fortunately I didn't find the experience traumatizing. It was all in all a positive experience for me.

I do have ptsd from other things that have happened in my life though.

I've never really had much success in seeing shrinks for my ptsd, I've found it too difficult to trust them. But it's probably still worth a try if you can. Some people do find it helpful. Particularly some of the techniques psychologists teach. I've found it a bit easier to trust them than psychiatrists. Partly perhaps because I've long found it extremely difficult to trust and not be on edge around anyone who seems like an authority figure.

I've found the biggest thing that's helped is just time. I'd love to tell you I eventually got over it, most of this shit happened in my childhood and early teens, about 17-18 years ago now.

But I haven't gotten over it, I have gotten a lot better though, even without prolonged psychological treatment for what happened.

Any highly traumatic experience can potentially result in ptsd, and what you describe certainly sounds very traumatic. While my trauma isn't related to my experience in a mental hospital I've known other people who have had such experiences. You're definitely not alone in having this experience.

There's therapy, there's drug assisted therapy like they're looking at with mdma. There's also just little things, working out what triggers you and trying to avoid those triggers.

Over time most of my triggers have gotten less severe, but I still experience them sometimes, something that especially reminds me of what happened and makes me feel like I'm almost having a panic attack or fills me with terror and dread. It used to happen a lot more but now it's pretty uncommon.

Over time the nightmares about it have also gotten less and less frequent as well.

I would strongly encourage you to try some of the support options others have suggested, but I will add that, in my experience at least. Time and distance also eventually helps on its own. There's things you can do to help that along. But, my point is, it won't always be as bad as it is now.

Good luck man, hope anything I said was at all helpful.

Sorry that you have PTSD to that fucking sucks. Glad it's getting better though. I actually have a good relationship with my shrink and i don't really see him as a authority figure because we get along pretty well and he actually listens to me. I don't like authority figures either nor do i trust them and after the horrible experience i had with the bitch shrink i had in the psych ward i never thought i would be able to trust a shrink again. But the shrink i have now is really good and most importantly actually listens.

I would like to see a psychologist but unfortunately in Canada you usually have to pay for one. I saw one in the Psych ward that was actually ok but as the cunt shrink was in charge he couldn't really say or do anything.

Your right about time and distance helping. Not having to go back to the psych ward every month for a Abilify shot is helping alot now. I would get a flashback every time i saw that godawful place. Hopefully it only gets better from here on out. I still get the nightmares though whenever i don't take my Zopiclone.

Im glad im far from alone in my experience at the psych ward it makes me feel alot better. Even though i wouldn't wish that shit on my worst enemy. It seems to be a traumatic experience for almost everyone. There seriously has to be a better way to treat mental patients then this ffs

 

[ions]

The trauma is real @paranoid android . I was in twice hospital and it’s just so boring with medicated on drugs you don’t want. Sadly this is our economy.

 

[paranoid android]

The trauma is real @paranoid android . I was in twice hospital and it’s just so boring with medicated on drugs you don’t want. Sadly this is our economy.

Im sorry you also had a bad time in there. OMG the boredom is about the worst. There was absolutely nothing for us to do in there and our unit had no programs or anything to help people either. So there was literally nothing to do all day but watch TV which sucked for me because i barely watch TV at all. Nothing to do but watch people roam around like fucking zombies which didnt help my mental status at all either. For the 14 hours that i was not supposed to be sleeping i had nothing to do whatsoever and that's alot of time to kill. I only even saw a psychologist once or twice ffs never mind not seeing a therapist or having any programs of treatment to help us. I will never forget one time when we where all watching the aquarium channel and looking at the fish one guy said "Hey that's us it's like we are in a aquarium here". I thought damn that guy is right this place looks like one big aquarium. Or one big fucking human zoo

I was not on any drugs besides Invega and Abilify to. I was only given these after i finally got a new shrink. The bitch shrink i had for the first 3 months i was in there refused to even give me a anti-psychotic so i was literally on no meds at all for 3 long fucking months. Things got abit easier when i was put on anti-psychotics but i still couldn't sleep because the fucking nurses doing the fucking rounds with their fucking flashlights . That combined with the godawful noise in there made sure i was not sleeping much. I was also getting horrible pain from trigeminal neuralgia because i was not given my morphine at all in there or even my gabapentin. I was never even given a goddamn ibuprofen in there ffs

 

[ions]

Sucks @paranoid android being sober is better than the antipsychotics. They need pot in the ward which would boost morale. We had therapists and group sessions like grief and meditation. That helped. But they kept the lights on all fucking day in Connecticut which made sleeping it off impossible.

 

[paranoid android]

Sucks @paranoid android being sober is better than the antipsychotics. They need pot in the ward which would boost morale. We had therapists and group sessions like grief and meditation. That helped. But they kept the lights on all fucking day in Connecticut which made sleeping it off impossible.

No i needed antipsychotics because Cotards syndrome is the fucking worst. Imagine thinking you are in purgatory it's fucked man. We usually had weed in there even though the nurses sometimes went batshit if you smoked it on the ward. One nurse in particular was a real bitch to me and some of the other patients and would follow us around to make sure we weren't lighting up any joints or cigs. I called this nurse nurse Ratchet. But usually someone had weed and i and often a few other people would hotbox the bathroom. What where they gonna do throw 2 or 3 of us in isolation together? They could do fuck all is what. I was involuntary for a month and in this time i smoked alot of weed as a few of my fellow patients couldn't roll joints so they would get me to roll them for them. This skill came seriously in handy in the psych ward as it seems noone under 30 can roll a fucking joint now and most of the people in with me where younger then me. Out of everyone on our psych ward only me and another guy the same age as me could actually roll a decent joint.

Getting stoned was the only way we could stomach the horrible carb ladden food. It was fucking wretched and breakfast was the worst. We had microwaved eggs ffs! The eggs was one of the worst things i have tried to eat and this was saying alot. They tasted like hard rubber and you couldn't cut them with the plastic knife you where given so you picked it up with your hands lol. One time after eating them i projectile vomited in the dining room. The toast was cold and the water for the tea and coffee was lukewarm which made it taste like shit. Thankfully there was a cafeteria which sold Coffee that was pretty good actually I would get a voluntary patient to go to the cafeteria for me and get me a coffee and a mars bar or something. Not the healthiest breakfast but better then what they fed you by fucking miles. The mac and cheese also stands out as being particularly horrible as it was a sort of jelly basically. All food in there is reheated in the microwave so you can imagine what mac and cheese that has been microwaved twice tastes like. Also the fish in there especially was something that was beyond words. I never had any but i saw and smelled it which was enough. The meatloaf was another awful one that i ate which had the consistency of a brick and all the taste of rubber.

I was so glad that someone from my family would visit once a day and bring me fried chicken or pizza or a burger. I really appreciated that. You could also order in your own food so alot of people would order pizza or fried chicken as there was a Dominoes and a Mary Browns fried chicken place and a burger joint just up the street. Often id get pizza or fried chicken off a friend as i was not the only one who didnt like the food there. Alot of people flat out refused to eat it at all and those that could afford it would always order in there own. Sadly i couldn't afford takeout 3 times a day but i did get it once a day so i wasn't exactly starving.

 

[ions]

@paranoid android
Feed me here fill me up again

 

[paranoid android]

^ Did nurses come around with flashlights doing the rounds at your ward? Or did they not do this because all the lights where on? Atleast here they turn the lights off in the rooms and in the hall. But fuck those flashlights give me goddamn flashbacks i hated them so much

 

[ions]

In Binghamton we had light switches. In cvh they were off from 9p-6a. But we had flashlight checks yeah.

 

[paranoid android]

In Binghamton we had light switches. In cvh they were off from 9p-6a. But we had flashlight checks yeah.

We had lightswitches to but from 10pm to 8am the lights in the rooms where generally switched off. I hated the flashlight checks and every hour there was one. I would time it so the nurse would be well away from my room so i could smoke a cig or a joint in fucking peace. Thankfully that bitch nurse didnt do nightshifts so shed be out of there then.