Psychological abuse thread

[tubgirl.jpg]

Basically that’s what I have, a code of conduct. Or you could call it ethics.

Yeah, I agree. The whole concept of morals is irrational.

I am not a kind loving person. But I try to not exploit people and I try to not get into situations where I blow up at them.

Being able to emulate kindness helps though - you catch more bees with honey than a gun. Or something. Haha.
It's really good that you're aware of what triggers blow ups.

You have to have your lines or you are just going to have a shitty life.

Definitely. Even the amoral has boundaries they don't cross, whether they know it our not.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

See, I do try to show kindness when I can.

As far as I'm concerned, that's all we can do. Being kind all the time becomes a danger to yourself eventually.

I will say tho that people can take advantage of kindness so I sometimes hold back.

Exactly - people mistake kindness for doormats a lot of the time. Waste no love on ingrates.

But I try to not go out of my way to be mean.

No, me neither. I think everybody should be greeted with respect until they've showed they don't deserve it. And that can be over in 2 min.

 

[stardust10]

I'm doing a lot better. I have been coping better this time. I'm still in contact with him but I have set firm boundaries. Which is I don't wanna see him physically and only will speak to him once every few days and the first sign of manipulation I just hang up.

The thing about "victim narrative" has really struck a chord with me btw I didn't realise how important that is! I need to give my self credit instead of feeling sorry for myself or whatever...although it's hard because I sort of do everything in my nature to avoid shall we call it the root of my trauma or grandad of trauma lol that gave birth to other traumas I've collected haha ...through my bad decision making and just luck I suppose.
Right this probably doesn't make much sense haha but I find it VERY thearaputic to now know that other real life people from all over the world have experienced VERY similar feelings and emotions and know how to deal with that with their heads held high!
I'm basically definitely going to work on becoming almost a new me.. sounds stupid not new but less self loathing... The past will still haunt me but I won't present myself that way and ultimately will hopefully learn how to be my individual self around people again rather than controlled by the narrative! Not promising anything lol!
Also awareness is key going forward, so as to keep my distance from the ex. I honestly don't know why I'm still talking to him but it actually makes it easier to know he's alright but I'm not bothered all the time by him, maybe I'm getting sucked back in! See this is why I love spouting shit on here I wouldn't have thought that through properly. I'm not gonna get sucked back in no matter what. I might change the number. Changed my locks already.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I'm doing a lot better. I have been coping better this time. I'm still in contact with him but I have set firm boundaries. Which is I don't wanna see him physically and only will speak to him once every few days and the first sign of manipulation I just hang up.

The thing about "victim narrative" has really struck a chord with me btw I didn't realise how important that is! I need to give my self credit instead of feeling sorry for myself or whatever...although it's hard because I sort of do everything in my nature to avoid shall we call it the root of my trauma or grandad of trauma lol that gave birth to other traumas I've collected haha ...through my bad decision making and just luck I suppose.
Right this probably doesn't make much sense haha but I find it VERY thearaputic to now know that other real life people from all over the world have experienced VERY similar feelings and emotions and know how to deal with that with their heads held high!
I'm basically definitely going to work on becoming almost a new me.. sounds stupid not new but less self loathing... The past will still haunt me but I won't present myself that way and ultimately will hopefully learn how to be my individual self around people again rather than controlled by the narrative! Not promising anything lol!
Also awareness is key going forward, so as to keep my distance from the ex. I honestly don't know why I'm still talking to him but it actually makes it easier to know he's alright but I'm not bothered all the time by him, maybe I'm getting sucked back in! See this is why I love spouting shit on here I wouldn't have thought that through properly. I'm not gonna get sucked back in no matter what. I might change the number. Changed my locks already.

I can relate to SO much of what you said hun!! So much. I have 2 exes that I had to wean myself off of, and it sounds like you're in the beginning phase of doing that. You're doing great. It is really hard at first, to set those boundaries and to stick firm to them. You should definitely give yourself huge credit for doing so If you find yourself getting sucked back in please feel free to PM me and I can cheerleader you out of it!!! You've got this hun, YOU ARE WORTH IT.

 

[stardust10]

^omg you're literally so sound thanks g xxx

 

[dragonix]

Been seeing videos talking about effectively dealing with them on YouTube I think social media created an increase in the ego skizm

 

[dragonix]

I abuse myself so bad psychologically at work. Even if I am not at all pleased with where I am I just want to thank them at work for being so understanding and kind I would've snapped horribly if they were difficult to me there I am thinking by now.