geovortex
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2020
- Messages
- 1
This experience was at the end of two weeks of excessive drinking every day with occasional cocaine use here and there, meaning I was pretty exhausted mentally and physically,
My girlfriend was out of town visiting her family and I had taken the opportunity to cut loose a bit.
At this time of my life I was not that great at spending time alone, meaning I would prefer to be out in pubs and meeting with friends, so I would make sure I always had plans to be out of an evening, and every night just rolls into the next. Fun at the time.
My oldest friend had some psilocybin truffles that he had ordered from Holland and we had planned to take them together in nature on a Sunday. He is pretty hard headed when it comes to psychs whereas they tend to affect me in a different way so I tend to be more cautious.
I went round to his house in the morning to get him and he told me that we would be taking his flatmate’s beautiful enormous jet black dog with us. This beast was half Rottweiler and half Alsatian, but looked like a huge black Labrador. He had an extremely gentle and kind nature, partly due to good training when he was a puppy.
I’m feeling pretty jaded as we set off and my heart’s not really in our plans but my friend has been looking forward to this and I am kind of running on auto pilot by this stage. On the way to the station I have an awkward phone conversation with my mother - I have had a difficult relationship with her in the past – and we have some disagreement about something, I can’t remember the details. But this left a lingering feeling of sadness in me.
We take a train to some woods that run alongside a very wealthy part of London. It is Autumn and this common is full of huge ancient oak trees as well as other species. The colours are pretty dazzling.
(pics from google, not accurate in terms of species)
My friend hands me a bag of truffles as we enter the woods and we proceed to walk and chat a bit while eating them.
The dog is happy, running off his lead and it becomes apparent that there are quite a few people in these woods, walking their dogs.
The first signs of the psilocybin start to appear, gently. I continue to eat the truffles from the bag slowly. There doesn’t feel like much of a connection between me and my friend. I stop to stare at some trees that look pretty impressive to me but he is keen to carry on walking. Now I am feeling these pretty strongly. I am having trouble walking in a normal way and become very aware of a profound tiredness.
THE VORTEX
I stop to look around me. The autumn colours are amazingly vibrant. Every tone of red orange yellow and pink, and the geometry of the leaves and trees screams out to me. The order / chaos of the natural world was laid bare for me to see and I began to feel very small in these woods and then BANG I was sucked into a swirling vortex of nature, and temporarily could see nothing but the colours and patterns of the leaves.
This triggered in me a fight or flight instinct and flight seemed to prevail. I stepped up my walking game and caught up with my friend who was enjoying “hexagons in the sky”. He asked me to look up but I couldn’t. I felt heavy and embedded in these woods. At this stage thought loops began. I can’t remember the theme but it was something to do with taking it too far and wondering if my mind could ever recover from this.
My friend is entirely oblivious to my mood and he and the dog are now happily strolling across a golf course while I am behind, a gibbering wreck. I decide that I need a beer and I tell him. This gives us a direction and destination, which unfortunately was not particularly reassuring, but it was something. The same thought loops continue all the way.
After 20 minutes or so we get into the “village”. As I mentioned before this area is very rich and on a lovely Autumn Sunday, pretty busy with well heeled folk out walking their cocker spaniels and eating Sunday Lunch at the local pubs. By this time I am really peaking and my friend leaves me outside a busy pub holding the dog while he goes and gets the beers.
I feel bad for the dog as he is looking at me with a bit of concern and I think to myself that dogs deserve better leadership than this.
This is not good. My pal reappears with the beers and I tell him that I’m having a bad time and ask him how long it will last. This is the first time he is aware that I’m not enjoying myself and he tells me that I’m bringing him down a bit.
I can’t remember why, but I walk into the pub, maybe to use the toilet. I speak to the barmaid, a tall girl with plaits/dreads and glasses. She appears to me like a silver and blue alien. Fuck me, these are strong. We finish our beers and I demand that we keep moving to another pub.
By the time I get my next beer in my hand, after some issues trying to pay with my card and having to run out the pub to get my friend to go in and settle up for me, I start to feel better. I tell my friend a story of something that had happened to me in the week and I feel energised and grateful for our strong friendship.
We finish these drinks and start to head back towards the train station. It is getting dark now and the car headlights that pass are leaving trails and I think I was seeing the light split into RGB. I feel amazing.
My friend has the dog lead and the dog's stopping and smelling things a lot and I can see that my friend is getting a bit frustrated. After my earlier insight into dog psychology, I offered to take the lead and I started walking with a refreshed pace.
The dog very happily trotted along beside me as if he can sense my energy for the rest of the way back to the station and on the train back I felt so bonded with him as he looked into my eyes and I stroked his head.
Now closer to home, we decide to have one more beer then we say goodbye.
As I’m heading home I put some psychedelic rock on my earphones and later call another friend just to try and tell someone what had happened to me.
Once home I ran a bath and smoked a joint which made things very strong again and in the bath I was hearing Latin voices in my head and felt like I was being baptised. Fuck. That.
I went to bed where I had insane closed eye visuals of neon skulls and other shapes.
I Sleep.
During the following week I realised I was changed. I felt mentally fragile and whenever I glimpsed something from nature, like a moth that had landed on a windowsill I was just blown away by the geometry and the patterns and the symmetry. I looked at trees and plants in a completely different way and thought about animals and how we treat them.
I asked to meet my sister and tried to make amends with her as we had fallen out some years previously. We met and started a process of reconciliation.
I did a good business deal, for myself.
It was a crazy week.
This was the most profound trip I had ever had. I can’t say it was a bad trip because a lot of good came from it, however it was terrifying and extremely challenging at the time.
I think Psilocybin is an amazing chemical, a real gift from nature. I definitely feel it is an ally to me, though it must be treated with immense respect.
This was last year and I get butterflies when I think about Autumn coming round again.
______________________________________________
TLDR: Had a mindblowing and terrifying trip in autumn forest, got an improved insight into nature and relationships.
My girlfriend was out of town visiting her family and I had taken the opportunity to cut loose a bit.
At this time of my life I was not that great at spending time alone, meaning I would prefer to be out in pubs and meeting with friends, so I would make sure I always had plans to be out of an evening, and every night just rolls into the next. Fun at the time.
My oldest friend had some psilocybin truffles that he had ordered from Holland and we had planned to take them together in nature on a Sunday. He is pretty hard headed when it comes to psychs whereas they tend to affect me in a different way so I tend to be more cautious.
I went round to his house in the morning to get him and he told me that we would be taking his flatmate’s beautiful enormous jet black dog with us. This beast was half Rottweiler and half Alsatian, but looked like a huge black Labrador. He had an extremely gentle and kind nature, partly due to good training when he was a puppy.
I’m feeling pretty jaded as we set off and my heart’s not really in our plans but my friend has been looking forward to this and I am kind of running on auto pilot by this stage. On the way to the station I have an awkward phone conversation with my mother - I have had a difficult relationship with her in the past – and we have some disagreement about something, I can’t remember the details. But this left a lingering feeling of sadness in me.
We take a train to some woods that run alongside a very wealthy part of London. It is Autumn and this common is full of huge ancient oak trees as well as other species. The colours are pretty dazzling.
(pics from google, not accurate in terms of species)
My friend hands me a bag of truffles as we enter the woods and we proceed to walk and chat a bit while eating them.
The dog is happy, running off his lead and it becomes apparent that there are quite a few people in these woods, walking their dogs.
The first signs of the psilocybin start to appear, gently. I continue to eat the truffles from the bag slowly. There doesn’t feel like much of a connection between me and my friend. I stop to stare at some trees that look pretty impressive to me but he is keen to carry on walking. Now I am feeling these pretty strongly. I am having trouble walking in a normal way and become very aware of a profound tiredness.
THE VORTEX
I stop to look around me. The autumn colours are amazingly vibrant. Every tone of red orange yellow and pink, and the geometry of the leaves and trees screams out to me. The order / chaos of the natural world was laid bare for me to see and I began to feel very small in these woods and then BANG I was sucked into a swirling vortex of nature, and temporarily could see nothing but the colours and patterns of the leaves.
This triggered in me a fight or flight instinct and flight seemed to prevail. I stepped up my walking game and caught up with my friend who was enjoying “hexagons in the sky”. He asked me to look up but I couldn’t. I felt heavy and embedded in these woods. At this stage thought loops began. I can’t remember the theme but it was something to do with taking it too far and wondering if my mind could ever recover from this.
My friend is entirely oblivious to my mood and he and the dog are now happily strolling across a golf course while I am behind, a gibbering wreck. I decide that I need a beer and I tell him. This gives us a direction and destination, which unfortunately was not particularly reassuring, but it was something. The same thought loops continue all the way.
After 20 minutes or so we get into the “village”. As I mentioned before this area is very rich and on a lovely Autumn Sunday, pretty busy with well heeled folk out walking their cocker spaniels and eating Sunday Lunch at the local pubs. By this time I am really peaking and my friend leaves me outside a busy pub holding the dog while he goes and gets the beers.
I feel bad for the dog as he is looking at me with a bit of concern and I think to myself that dogs deserve better leadership than this.
This is not good. My pal reappears with the beers and I tell him that I’m having a bad time and ask him how long it will last. This is the first time he is aware that I’m not enjoying myself and he tells me that I’m bringing him down a bit.
I can’t remember why, but I walk into the pub, maybe to use the toilet. I speak to the barmaid, a tall girl with plaits/dreads and glasses. She appears to me like a silver and blue alien. Fuck me, these are strong. We finish our beers and I demand that we keep moving to another pub.
By the time I get my next beer in my hand, after some issues trying to pay with my card and having to run out the pub to get my friend to go in and settle up for me, I start to feel better. I tell my friend a story of something that had happened to me in the week and I feel energised and grateful for our strong friendship.
We finish these drinks and start to head back towards the train station. It is getting dark now and the car headlights that pass are leaving trails and I think I was seeing the light split into RGB. I feel amazing.
My friend has the dog lead and the dog's stopping and smelling things a lot and I can see that my friend is getting a bit frustrated. After my earlier insight into dog psychology, I offered to take the lead and I started walking with a refreshed pace.
The dog very happily trotted along beside me as if he can sense my energy for the rest of the way back to the station and on the train back I felt so bonded with him as he looked into my eyes and I stroked his head.
Now closer to home, we decide to have one more beer then we say goodbye.
As I’m heading home I put some psychedelic rock on my earphones and later call another friend just to try and tell someone what had happened to me.
Once home I ran a bath and smoked a joint which made things very strong again and in the bath I was hearing Latin voices in my head and felt like I was being baptised. Fuck. That.
I went to bed where I had insane closed eye visuals of neon skulls and other shapes.
I Sleep.
During the following week I realised I was changed. I felt mentally fragile and whenever I glimpsed something from nature, like a moth that had landed on a windowsill I was just blown away by the geometry and the patterns and the symmetry. I looked at trees and plants in a completely different way and thought about animals and how we treat them.
I asked to meet my sister and tried to make amends with her as we had fallen out some years previously. We met and started a process of reconciliation.
I did a good business deal, for myself.
It was a crazy week.
This was the most profound trip I had ever had. I can’t say it was a bad trip because a lot of good came from it, however it was terrifying and extremely challenging at the time.
I think Psilocybin is an amazing chemical, a real gift from nature. I definitely feel it is an ally to me, though it must be treated with immense respect.
This was last year and I get butterflies when I think about Autumn coming round again.
______________________________________________
TLDR: Had a mindblowing and terrifying trip in autumn forest, got an improved insight into nature and relationships.
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