Pot-smoking moms tired of being judged by wine drinkers

now that is what i call a MILF!

 

I find cannabis to help relax me and open me up, and it also makes me more playful.
For these and other reasons, it works fantastically at enhancing communication between me and other members of my family, including my children.
It also helps me play with my children like a child, crazy and reckless and wild and fun.
It also helps me find energy at the end of a long day, since my children don't care that I am already exhausted when they are hungry. I like to get high and cook, and then take a bath, and read to my kids before bed.

I would rather have a parent high on cannabis than drunk, hands-down.
Much more able to take care of children while high than drunk.

I know that some people will judge me for being high around my children, but my children don't know (I never smoke around them) - all they know is I have more energy and am sillier than I was a few minutes ago. I still take fantastic care of them.

I have experienced the bullshit "alcoholic parents are fine, but parents who smoke weed and then play with their children are monsters" attitude before. I am not a fan of this attitude, so I really appreciated the article.

Too bad I can't smoke cannabis where I live now. Sigh.
I really like being high.

I really appreciate this article also. And for the fools that judged you for being high around your children, well they are simply fools. How old are your little ones, just out of curiosity? Personally, in my childhood by a certain age (certainly prior to my early teens), I knew what was going on with the folks. Children tend to know what's going on. Though, my experience was with a heroin junky father, which is quite a bit different to a cannabis smoking parent.

Good on you for taking care of your kids whilst using recreational drugs, too many people use drugs as an excuse for why DOCS took their kids, and in general tend to blame all of their darker less moral decisions made surrounding their drug use. For the most part, I don't believe the drugs solely are responsible for a junky robbing their best friend for a fix, I believe it shows the true colours of a person and if they would do things like that for drugs, they would do it anyway.

I also grew up with an alcoholic mother who was/still is in extreme denial, telling me that she drinks a 4L cask of wine every night for the taste. I would much rather if she smoked pot. I would've had a much better childhood, that's for certain.

Ash.

 

PLUS, it's better for your body and mind.
No blackouts. No mood swings. No wild aggressiveness.
No hangovers. No exaggerated self confidence w/ total lack of reasoning or motor skills.

Every single major, life altering, BAD decision I've made....I've made under the influence of alcohol.
EVERY. ONE. It's a testament to the bloated, slow moving state of affairs in Washington that this is still
a 'taboo topic'. In this day and age.

Sad.

No TP'er, by the way. Solid Democrat. Just sickofitall.

 

Can someone neutral please sum up this debate?

Shit gets heavy when the moderators duke it out.

Allow me to add that Portugal has not legalized the drug industry. As far as I know they've decriminalized it, treating illegal drug use as a medical problem. They haven't gone all the way.

 

I would let this woman drive my kids to soccer before I let the wine drinker any day. In fact I have taken a few kid back to their homes when mommy or daddy has one too many at practice. It made me the neighborly dick but at least my conscience is clear. Then I can enjoy some pod tea.

 

Shit gets heavy when the moderators duke it out.

I wasn't a mod back when I was debating this, and I was taking a long - much needed - break from everything. So I had to be critical, in order to not convince myself back onto the weed. You ask for someone neutral. Who's neutral in the alcohol vs. weed debate? I'm kind of the only one in this thread who has leveled the playing field. Due to the nature of this website, people will stand up in support of the illegal drug rather than the legal one. I think people, myself included, are too harsh on marijuana; I also think people, myself included, are too harsh on alcohol. Both can be used to ill effect. Both have enormous potential.

I, perhaps, got a bit carried away. But, honestly, I'm not sure which drug is worse, or better, for me. I treat marijuana like crack cocaine. And so do a lot of people. I had this friend that went to rehab for weed and they laughed him out of therapy. They mocked him, for being such a pussy that he actually required intervention for such a "harmless" drug. It's not harmless. I've been smoking for a lot longer than most people on this website. I'm older than the average blue lighter. I've observed long term denial many times; it pretty much always ends up collapsing on itself.

If you're hopelessly addicted, it doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic or a pothead. I think weed, for most people, is far more addictive than alcohol. A large percentage of the population consume alcohol in relative moderation. People who smoke weed tend to get a bit carried away. I know I do. I'm just trying to help people to realize the nature, and seriousness, of their addictions before they get to a point where they regret their decisions.

This is a harm reduction forum. Moderator or not, I'm not going to tell you that marijuana is good for you. Because, as a general rule, it is not. People who smoke weed daily for twenty years, or thirty years; they're no different - in my opinion - to alcoholics. Those who take illegal drugs often demonize booze. Those who don't take illegal drugs, demonize everything else. In the end, drugs are just drugs. All of the major drugs, legal or illegal, that are used for recreational effect, have serious potential for harm.

This, coming from someone three days into a meth binge - who hasn't slept or eaten anything for at least 48 hours. I genuinely believe that meth is a better choice for me currently, regardless of it's impact on my health/lifestyle; because I am a writer, and when I'm speeding I write at least ten times better than when I'm not. Amphetamines have produced some of the greatest pieces of literature ever composed.

Opiates, in retrospect, are - probably - worse than most other classes of drugs. I've been taking a lot of morphine recently, and it's fucked me up more than anything I can recollect consuming over the past three years. I will still insist that the high from heroin is MUCH cleaner, cognitively, than marijuana; but, in the long term, it's fairly detrimental to both physical and mental health. Having said that, I'm sure there are people who would benefit more from heroin - and less from amphetamines - than I.

I would let this woman drive my kids to soccer before I let the wine drinker any day. In fact I have taken a few kid back to their homes when mommy or daddy has one too many at practice. It made me the neighborly dick but at least my conscience is clear. Then I can enjoy some pod tea.

Statistics indicate that marijuana is less likely to make you crash through a wall and kill seventeen people, but it still severely impairs your ability to drive. Personally, I've never had a car accident while stoned - I don't drive anymore because it's too dangerous, considering how much alcohol I consume - but, I do recognize the fact that I shouldn't be driving about when I'm on any kind of mind-altering drug. It is not safe to drive while stoned. It reduces reaction time.

You should not, ideally, drive - with children, or adults for that matter, in your vehicle - when you are intoxicated. The fact that marijuana is illegal, does not make it harmless. You may be able to put forward a convincing argument that a marijuana intoxication is "preferable" to being drunk, in terms of operating a motor vehicle, but neither are okay. Obviously, as with alcohol, it depends how intoxicated you are; but, it is entirely possible to be too stoned to drive.

Don't fool yourself into thinking that marijuana is harmless, like alcoholics fool themselves into thinking that alcohol is harmless. In order to be a wise, and responsible, drug user - you need to recognize your limitations. Marijuana is far from perfect. I've seen people, on tens of thousands of occasions, who are too stoned to think. Fuck, I often get so stoned that I don't even know what the fuck is going on. I'll put something down somewhere and then totally forget about it and spend fifteen minutes looking for it only to realize it's in my pocket - or my hand. To suggest that marijuana does not "intoxicate" as alcohol does, is irresponsible.

It is not safe to smoke half a gram of hydro, then get behind the wheel; it might be safer than drinking a fifth of vodka - but that is neither here nor there.

How's that for neutral?

 

wine is "mommy juice"??? lol. You need to learn how to relax and deal with the pressures of life without drugs though because unfortuantely, drugs don't always work...

 

. I genuinely believe that meth is a better choice for me currently, regardless of it's impact on my health/lifestyle; because I am a writer, and when I'm speeding I write at least ten times better than when I'm not. Amphetamines have produced some of the greatest pieces of literature ever composed.

This taints a great post.

 

^ I dunno. Part of ForEverAfter's genius is that s/he has a very unusual viewpoint, but also backs it up with reasons why it makes sense (to him/her, at least). S/he is good at arguing to support his/her viewpoint, strange as it may seem at first, and this is why it is so interesting to talk with him/her.

Thinking that s/he has a neutral viewpoint is a mistake, imo, but disregarding the whole post because of that quote (as bizarre as it is) is a mistake as well.

S/he is arguing that, to summarize, drugs are drugs.
People can treat them badly, and suffer negative effects, from any drug.
I agree with this.
Some specifics are arguable, in my mind - whether alcohol or weed is more addictive, for example - but overall, I agree with his/her post.

 

I agree with the stuff negitive vibes dude is saying that's upsetting everyone.

I feel that most drugs are not good for people and all of the intoxicating ones have negitive effects on people's lives, be it big or small ones.

I also feel people have the right to consume what they feel is ok for them, provided they don't become a danger to themselves or others.

I'm also for heroin for children as was brought up in a previous post.

 

Fuck, I often get so stoned that I don't even know what the fuck is going on. I'll put something down somewhere and then totally forget about it and spend fifteen minutes looking for it only to realize it's in my pocket - or my hand. To suggest that marijuana does not "intoxicate" as alcohol does, is irresponsible.

Haha so true. Searched for about 20 minutes with my mate when we were stoned for his bank card so he could get some cash out, searched my house and his car then found out it was in his pocket. It's funny when it's just that, but if he's driving a car or something potentially dangerous I don't think it's 100% safe like you said.

Also I'm high right now and I've lost two lighters within 5 minutes. Damn you marijuana.

 

I gotta throw this out there 30 years of alcohol use will have a much larger impact on your health than 30 years of cannabis consumption, not everyone smokes their pot. Anything not used in moderation is bad for you either physically or mentally.... and really it is not that hard to not over use drugs/alcohol.

I have fired employees for coming in with booze on there breath from the night before, none of my stoned or stimmed up employees ever caused me problems in almost 10 years of business management, i could care less if you drink or drug before working ( no driving or heavy machinery tho either way) but even tho alcohol is legal it is still frowned upon like illegal drugs in a lot of places. ive never been noticed having drank alcohol or being stoned, it does not alter MY perception that much, not saying either dont effect me, they do. Alcohol tends to just be more sloppy and stinky other than that there is no real diff between drink or drug, as long as it is in moderation.

I dont see why everyone is arguing so much over this, seems almost everyone made valid points, but people are biased one way or the other, drug Preference is not an un-biased topic. my 2 cents

 

^ I dunno. Part of ForEverAfter's genius is that s/he has a very unusual viewpoint, but also backs it up with reasons why it makes sense (to him/her, at least). S/he is good at arguing to support his/her viewpoint, strange as it may seem at first, and this is why it is so interesting to talk with him/her.

Thinking that s/he has a neutral viewpoint is a mistake, imo, but disregarding the whole post because of that quote (as bizarre as it is) is a mistake as well.

S/he is arguing that, to summarize, drugs are drugs.
People can treat them badly, and suffer negative effects, from any drug.
I agree with this.
Some specifics are arguable, in my mind - whether alcohol or weed is more addictive, for example - but overall, I agree with his/her post.

I think he's making a lot of great points about the nature of drugs as very hazardous substances then willfully giving himself over to them with that quote in contradictory fashion. And seriously, a drug can "turn off" or "on" an ability, but they don't produce an ability on their own. That goes for writing, hitting a baseball, making music, or what have you. Just elaborating.

 

^ great way to put it HCM

 

I think he's making a lot of great points about the nature of drugs as very hazardous substances then willfully giving himself over to them with that quote in contradictory fashion. And seriously, a drug can "turn off" or "on" an ability, but they don't produce an ability on their own. That goes for writing, hitting a baseball, making music, or what have you. Just elaborating.

I completely agree with this. I feel psychedelics mostly but all drugs have an ability to enhance aspects of an individual but they do not create them. It bothers me when people are like "but I'm a write or a musician" talent does not come from drug use. Just like drug use does not make you cool, it makes you awesome, but only cigarettes make you cool.

 

I dissagree that "ciggs" make you, "cool" (unless you're smoking outside and it's cold), they're a bad habit, just mixing "ciggs" with coffee, or tea is the start of a mixture, and mixture's lead to mistakes. I don't have the answers, maybe someone can elaborate on the health danger's of cigarettes.

 

i'm 23 and my mom has been blazed for at least 30 years pretty much daily and she doesn't give a fuck what people think of her

 

I think he's making a lot of great points about the nature of drugs as very hazardous substances then willfully giving himself over to them with that quote in contradictory fashion. And seriously, a drug can "turn off" or "on" an ability, but they don't produce an ability on their own. That goes for writing, hitting a baseball, making music, or what have you. Just elaborating.

I agree with you.
It seems like ForEverAfter is trying to both have and eat cake...
And yet I agree that drugs can be very dangerous, and yet also fantastic, which is not far from what FEA is saying.

Also one small exception about drugs and abilities, though I really do agree with you: once, my mother smoked some weed, and (claims she) could suddenly read French. She has zero French ability, and very limited Spanish, but she promises me that she could read a book in French while high. She laughed about it at the time, but has wondered about it ever since. She has probably smoked weed no more than a few dozen times, but that one experience helped her keep an open mind about my substantially greater drug use.

 

I purposely included my own justification in order to illustrate my point.

We convince ourselves that weed or alcohol or meth is okay; and, I am no exception to the rule.

I gotta throw this out there 30 years of alcohol use will have a much larger impact on your health than 30 years of cannabis consumption, not everyone smokes their pot.

Nope. Sorry. That's bullshit. Smoking, or eating, a quarter per day is going to fuck you up more than drinking a bottle of whiskey per month. You cannot definitively state that alcohol is "worse" than marijuana. How do you gauge an equivalent dose of each? How much red wine equals smoking a gram? Assuming consumption of both is moderated, comparison is meaningless. When consumed responsibly, neither alcohol or weed should have any adverse effects on health or lifestyle.

once, my mother smoked some weed, and (claims she) could suddenly read French. She has zero French ability, and very limited Spanish, but she promises me that she could read a book in French while high.

She couldn't read French; she believed she could: sounds like a minor pyschotic delusion. I think my parents would freak out too if they smoked, for the first time, at their age. I don't think either of them would be able to handle it, at all.

And seriously, a drug can "turn off" or "on" an ability, but they don't produce an ability on their own.

Amphetamines improve cognition across the board... they increase: problem solving skills; memory; reaction time; sensory perception; stamina; etc. The problem is, I get distracted. If I spent all of my time on meth, writing, I would have already produced a masterpiece. I give more credit to the drugs, than myself. Maybe the credit belongs to the drugs and the part of me that is not me; the automated sub-conscious me. The conscious me does not write everything I write. Drugs are quite capable of writing stories. Particularly high-end psychedelics with thematic orientations. The best example is Muscaria, because it tells a story; yet another adaptation of the same story it has told everyone else throughout history.

Amphetamines are like steroids for the mind, and steroids don't just "turn on" or "off" a pre-existing ability; they provide you with the means to function beyond your capabilities.

 

She couldn't read French; she believed she could: sounds like a minor pyschotic delusion.

She could make sense of the printed words she ran her eyes across. Sounds like reading to me.
Undoubtedly she missed a good portion of the grammar, but she saw cognates (which are easier to see visually in written French than to hear on spoken French) and figured out the meanings of enough words to piece together the meaning.
When sober, maybe she doesn't have the patience or interest to try and figure out the cognates.
When high, that once, maybe she did.
I wouldn't bet me life on it, but it is not impossible, either.

 

Yeah, that's not reading as far as I'm concerned. If it was, I'd be able to read at least seven different languages, excluding Japanese and Indonesian transliterated syllabaries; and, I do even not consider myself bilingual. Anyone who is reasonably intelligent is capable of surmising a fair amount of meaning from a text written in another language assuming they are versed in another of the same linguistic family. Eg: germanic; or, latinate. The only thing preventing the majority of the population from doing so is the pointlessness of such a venture. Hence, your mother’s inadequate patience when sober.

Given sufficient amounts of marijuana I am quite content to trace the patterns of my wallpaper: marvelling in the symmetry, or lack thereof; while navigating tiny tears and imperfections in the paper. On acid I might even go so far as to contemplate a seam, where two sheets are connected imperfectly and the pattern contradicts itself, and decide that it is a weak spot in the illusion of life; convinced, beyond reason, of the irrefutable profundity implied by such a discovery.

To read something, such as a novel, implies a broader level of comprehension than deciphering commonalities between languages; misinterpreting, or placing undue significance on, psychedelic thought patterns – after achieving sobriety – is a good way to kick-start a psychotic episode.

If you smoke marijuana for the first time and believe you have miraculously inherited the ability to read and comprehend another language, I’d say that’s a pretty clear indication of a pre-disposition towards drug-induced psychosis. I’m not a psychiatrist, but I have – both personally and vicariously – experienced, and grown accustomed to, psychosis. I’ve worked in the mental health industry for over a decade; and I am a (barely) functioning un-medicated psychotic drug addict.

If you are particularly prone to fanciful ideas; if your dreams bleed into the logic of your waking life; if you are a fundamental optimist, or an utterly miserable sceptic; if you have uncompromising faith in the existence of – a specific image of – God; if you have ever made a decision based upon a horoscope, or any other psychic prediction; basically, if you are a dreamer: you are more prone to developing psychosis. Placing unwarranted significance on semantic distinctions between the perception of the sober mind and the stoned mind – such as, what it means to read – implies a readiness to both believe and disbelieve.

Often drug-users deny the correlation between psychedelic drugs, including marijuana, and psychosis; despite the fact that it is based on statistics gathered from psychedelic drug users. This blind insistence, that certain drugs are harmless: it not only compromises the integrity of our anti-Drug-War protests; it endangers us. In the name of harm reduction, and legalization, we must not be “pro-drug”; we should be anti-anti-drug and anti-pro-drug; to ignore the negative consequences of recreational drug use is no less ignorant or reprehensible than ignoring the benefits.
I have observed a correlation between psychosis and psychedelic drugs, including marijuana; I have also observed a correlation between psychosis and the consumption of massive quantities of, and the prolonged use of, non-psychedelic drugs. Moderate use of psychedelic drugs is far more likely to result in a prolonged – or permanent – psychotic episode, than moderate alcohol consumption. To insist that marijuana is harmless, contrary to the documented evidence; to claim conspiracy, on the part of the anti-drug crowd, when confronted with said evidence: this is hypocrisy.

The drug war should not be a war, intellectual or otherwise; it should be a debate. War has occurred throughout history, in the name of religion. Arguably all wars are either religious in nature, or justified by religion. The stronger our beliefs, the more we defend them. We fight to defend absolutes; and, as long as two opposing “fundamental truths” exist, we will continue to fight.

Religious fundamentalists are afraid of being wrong; and atheists are no different: one should not commit to an answer, when posed with an unanswerable question. One may be inclined towards a particular answer, based on their observations. Agnosticism includes believers and non-believers; they just don’t know what they believe, or what they don’t.

Regardless of inclination; regardless of what we want to be the truth: we must remain neutral.

Most drug users contribute to the perceived need for anti-drug legislation. Drugs are bad for you; if you don’t embrace this, you are an enemy of the legalization movement. I, too, am an enemy of legalization.

Legalization requires more than neutrality: acknowledging the benefits and dangers of substance abuse does not change the fact that hundreds of people die from overdoses every day; we must, every one of us, also personify harm reduction. We are the human ambassadors of Chemistry.

Drug-users, assuming the countenance of disgruntled infants, complain that the media “never talks about the benefits of drug-use,” implying – I suppose – that the media are in on the government conspiracy; this logic, of course, could be applied to the majority of journalistic pursuits throughout history. Journalism has always capitalized on tragedy: there are more reports of deaths than births; it doesn’t matter how people die. Does this mean journalists are vultures and grave robbers, rather than conspirators? No. Fear mongers, perhaps; but it is supply-on-demand fear.

The result of pursuing happiness is miserable death. We focus so heavily on the positive aspects of life, especially in the Western world, that we lose our ability to process the negative. Depression, therefore, is chronic and debilitating; death is unjust and horrific.

We do not need to be reminded of life: it serves no purpose; we are familiar enough with it, already. We do, however, need to be reminded of, and exposed to, our mortality. Reports about celebrity overdoses serve as effective warnings; our dead drug idols reminder us that we are not immortal.

It is not morbid fascination that compels us to slow down when we drive past traffic accidents. Overdose is a social issue; euphoria is not. Nobody wants to see a news report about a bunch of people partying when they turn on the news, for the same reason we don’t want to see footage of a dormant volcano; or a passenger jet that wasn’t hijacked.

The argument could be made – since drug-use is illegal and users are forced to hide – that the benefits are unknown; and, therefore, warrant documentation. As if, to be fair, every topic must be covered from every angle. This, too, is a childish argument. Whether or not ecstasy feels good in the short-term is irrelevant, as far as legalization goes; the only effects that are relevant are the long-term effects that it has on health and society. If journalists were free to investigate the underground world of illegal drugs, they would continue to focus on the negative.

Everybody knows that drugs are euphoric; they make you fuck longer; they increase stamina; improve one’s ability to dance; reduce inhibitions; induce meditative states; and inspire creatively. You don’t have to be a drug user to be aware of the positive benefits. When I was a kid, I listened to Eric Clapton sing about Cocaine; the Beatles sing about LSD; and the Velvet Underground sing about Heroin. Later, I read William Burroughs; Irvine Welsh; Hunter S. Thompson; and, Hubert Selby Junior. These artists – my drug idols – they inspired me to become the junky that I am today.

Art is the only significant positive impact drugs have had on society. The rest of us, non-artists: the only contribution we make is negative. The only way to improve the reputation of drugs, therefore, is to be responsible and reduce the negative; to not contribute towards public opinion at all.

Today, I contributed to the tainted reputations of intravenous drug use and marijuana.

I’ve been shooting methamphetamines every day for about three weeks. I went to the doctor after developing thrombosis, a condition that causes clotting of the blood, in both arms. My veins have accumulated a fair amount of damage. Needless to say, there are substantial track marks.

Today, I left the house – carrying a beer and a joint – with a short sleeve shirt on. It wasn’t accidental; I did it because I’m sick of having to disguise myself. Having just sprayed two syringes full of blood and meth down the back of my throat, on account of my veins being impossible to find, I drank the beer without stopping to breathe. My neighbour observed as, between the front door and the letterbox, I drank an entire beer with my discoloured – bruised and bloody – arm.

When I got to university, I lit the joint. The campus was relatively empty. On the way to the library, I passed maybe thirty or forty students. Less than a quarter of them noticed; those who did would be able to confirm to themselves the false notion that “marijuana is a gateway drug, leading to heroin.” Despite how much I hate misleading information like this, I validate it. We all do – Junkies, Addicts – we all fuck up, once in a while. We overdose; develop psychosis; neglect to pay our bills; end up in rehab; lose too much weight; fuck up relationships; miss too much work. And, we think, nobody knows about the habit: because we apply make-up to the bags under our eyes and apply medicated drops to our bloodshot irises; because we use incense to cover up cannabis, and blame the weight loss on vegetarian diets; because we wear long sleeves. You don’t do any of this for their benefit, or for the legalization movement. No. You do it, whatever you consider necessary for deniability’s sake, because you have to. As long as nobody can prove it, and you’re not holding: there is no chance of any legal consequences; and, you’re not going to lose your job. All you need is a thin veil for a disguise; all you need is deniability.

The few addicts who manage to conceal their lifestyle, and never slip up; those users that never contribute to negative perceptions: you’re not contributing to the positive either. The only impact we have, is negative. Obviously, it varies. Maybe your contribution is small. It’s probably smaller than mine. But your life has probably been fucked up, at some point, in more than one way. People are observant; even if it’s subtle, somebody – a co-worker, friend, or family member who secretly suspects you – will cross-reference you with everyone they’ve ever suspected. Maybe your teeth are yellower than they should be, or you’re always light on cash; maybe you’re prone to, otherwise, inexplicable bouts of depression; maybe your house is a shit hole; maybe it’s something innocent, like nosebleeds. It doesn’t matter. People aren’t stupid; those who pick up on it probably won’t accuse you, on account of the deniability, but they will put two and two together.

Finally, the users who ensure that their lifestyle is undeniable: while still maintaining legal deniability. Raver types, their limbs wrapped with glow-sticks, talking three hundred words a minute at three o’clock in the morning; their tongues flicking the back of their teeth; skin covered with sweat. And junkies: junkies live like there is no tomorrow. Not in the sense that they live life to the fullest. No. They live with reckless disregard life. They live, as if they have no future. I have eaten maybe five meals in the past two weeks. My ribs hang over my stomach. I walk with a limp. Rather than washing my hair, I wet a towel and rub it across my shaved head. When I sleep, every three or four days, I lie face down on the hard floor without a pillow; my cheekbones are bruised from lying in this position.

The world’s negative perspective of illicit substances: it’s not a government conspiracy; it’s our reflection. There are a lot of non-drug users who frequent this website on a regular basis, including – I’m sure – the media and authority figures from various drug enforcement agencies. The guest count is way higher than the member count, at any given time. This website functions as a window into the life of the dope fiend; and, I’m not convinced that we’re making much of an effort to fight the fight. We practice harm reduction. But we wear short sleeves. The internet’s anonymity makes deniability optional. We don’t have to hide here, so we don’t. We do the opposite. We write trip reports that have nothing to offer, in terms of harm reduction; we brag about, and glorify, our misuse; we make sloppily constructed, shameless, and morally void posts; we post while high. If a fundamental anti-drug person – already grounded in their version of the truth – logs on here, they will discover more than enough ammunition; re-affirming their faith in the war, will be no difficult task.

Taking no consideration into how your words and your actions impact on the global perspective of the world’s oldest sub-culture; only exercising deniability, shame, and restraint, to protect yourself; and, hiding only when you are likely to be caught: this is fine. But, don’t fucking complain that the world isn’t fair; don’t declare conspiracy; don’t protest the war like some kind of pacifist, if you’re really a soldier; don’t insist upon the harmlessness of drugs or deny the negative consequences they have had on your life: if you’re going to reveal yourself, do it. Be honest.

Saying, “marijuana (or: insert any other drug, here) is harmless,” when it has been definitively proven otherwise, contributes towards delusion; towards a careless consequence-free attitude; towards new users, who are potentially prone to adverse reactions, exercising little restraint. Advocating drug use for the entire populace is as irresponsible as a doctor writing a prescription without considering a patient’s allergies or medical history.

If you contribute towards public opinion by blatantly denying the negative consequences of drug abuse, in order – perhaps – to re-affirm your complete denial of the toll your lifestyle has had on you, so far; if you do that: you are resorting to the same fundamentalist bullshit that you object to.

Just be honest with yourself. Admit it: that sometimes, you disregard your physical health; you go too far; or, you get so high it scares you; and, you wonder what your life would have been like if you’d never had that first puff or drink or needle.

A big contributor towards substance abuse and self-harm, is this inbuilt defence mechanism that addicts develop. When I started taking drugs, my parents practically disowned me. I was the third of three sons to develop a taste for altered states of mind, so I got it worst. Having already written my brothers off, to some extent, all of their hopes were invested in me. When they first discovered I got high, fifteen years ago, it was like they didn’t have any more children. Society – their teachers, the media, and my grandparents – taught them about the hopelessness of addiction; about how addiction was a death sentence. Back when there actually was a conspiracy; when propaganda films depicted stoners as homicidal maniacs.

My parents were fundamentals, fighting for the other side. It was frustrating, because – although, I didn’t want to be at war with them – they weren’t willing to consider any perspective other than their own. They offered me their absolute truth, on the matter: drugs, they said, are evil; this, coming from a conservative couple, who had never so much as smoked a joint. The benefits of altering one’s consciousness were clear as day to me. I instantly fell in love with marijuana. How could they tell me it was wrong; did they not respect the opinions of a teenager, was that it; did they think me deluded; did they think me an idiot? I didn’t consider the possibility that they were right; I mirrored their stubbornness: firmly establishing myself as a fundamental, in my own right. They completely denied the benefits; and, I completely denied the potential for harm.

Now, I contribute towards anti-drug fundamentalism in future generations of parents. I don’t tell the world that drugs are evil; I show them. I am a living example, why people should “say no.” I am the homicidal dope fiend, made flesh. I’m not part of the war anymore; I am not in denial; but, I make no excuses for my lifestyle. I don’t feel guilty for contributing towards the negative reputation of drug users; because I am not convinced that drugs should be legalized.

The few drugs that are legal should be controlled.

Alcohol, like heroin, is far too dangerous to warrant any degree of socially acceptability.

To smoke tobacco is to defy one’s life: it has the least benefit of all drugs, and the greatest risk; the ratio of effect to addiction is off the charts in the wrong direction. Those who can’t quit don’t really want to; addiction is convenient: smoking is a socially acceptable form of suicide.

These legal drugs illustrate man’s tendency towards addiction and his inability to self-regulate behaviour. Alcohol and tobacco should be seen as warnings. If heroin was legal and commercially available, consumption would increase; and, consequently, lives would be ruined. Quality control measures and industry standards might prevent the probability of overdose, but more people will be using. Who knows: maybe in the end it would balance out; maybe the death rate would remain the same. All I know is: if heroin was legal, I’d go buy some tomorrow; so, thank God it isn’t.

I have many lost friends, and lovers, to sobriety. How easily people were brainwashed by the conspiracy: all the more reason, I decided, to reinforce the Absolute Truth, and dig my heels in.

Now, I fear that – one day – I, too, will admit the error of my ways; and, renounce this destructive lifestyle. Part of me wants to do it now: to give up, once and for all, and, go to rehab. Sometimes I wish my family would organize an intervention; I curse them, for not caring enough to intervene. It would be so much easier, if I didn’t have a choice. It pains me that I have to admit defeat after so long; yet, with every sunset, I approach that fearful sober day... and, as time runs out, my use spirals out of control.

For, these are the end of days; these are the last drugs I will consume.