A couple of months ago I made pot brownies for my S.O. who has medical problems and not touching cannabis for about a couple of years I decided to indulge in them myself. What precedes is a description of the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life.
I sauted about an 8th? (sorry I'm bad at measurements I just threw a handful or two in there) of keif in with about a couple tablespoons coconut oil and a stick of unsalted real butter for about 30 minutes till the bud was lightly toasted. Then I followed the recipe on the pilsbury brownie box as normal but replaced my pot mixture for the required oil.
Since I've tried cannabis in pretty much all forms except brownies I decided what the fuck and had a really big chunk of brownie thinking I could totally handle it even though I had zero tolerance to pot at the time and have reacted pretty badly to even just tokes of pot in the past. I have a pretty bad underlying anxiety disorder that is untreated by the way.
The first half hour I feel OK, a little giggly. I start watching TV. All of a sudden *bam* everything starts getting really colorful and bright. I realize that I have just made the biggest mistake of my life. I try to make myself throw up but nothing comes out so I swig about half a gallon of milk and shove about 7 pieces of bread into my mouth. I tell my S.O. I have made a huge mistake and drop the jug of milk on the floor leaving the fridge open I fall on the couch and stare at the tv.
I keep repeating the phrase "I've made a terrible mistake" and start zoning out. My S.O. tries to calm me asks if there is any music or movies they can put on to calm me I say emphatically no and tell them to turn off the tv as it is freaking me out. They do and I slump down to the floor drooling slightly.
At this point for about 4 hours I get the fear really badly and spend that entire time slumped against a table, banging my head and thrashing about. Quite frankly what happened is this: Lady Sativa realized I was disrespecting her, grabbed me betwixt two fingers and preceded to whip me about and shake my entire world.
To give a little more insight I am a person who has had anxiety and depression all my life and who has tried to follow many spiritual teachings. This experience made me realize my attempts at dissolving my ego where laughable. At one point I suspect I had a seizure of some sort as I can dimly remember drooling, putting my hand against my chest and flopping about.
The visions I had that day rocked my entire world. I can almost believe that I was transported to a hell realm as the panic and hellish hallucinations I faced where the most realistic and frightening ones of my life, my heart was pounding so hard against my chest I really thought I was going to die. I told my S.O. that they must call 911 right away, that I was having some terrible reaction and was dying. They said calling 911 for pot was pretty ridiculous and refused. Immediately after saying that I actually saw myself being transported away in an ambulance on a gurney with needles and shit all in me, I swear to God it was real. Suddenly I hear my S.O. and realize it was nothing but a hallucination. I flop a little more.
The next hallucinations are what characterized the entire trip and the most terrible things I will never forget. It is hard to describe but I was like a statue, flowering in and out. Everything would shift about and I would pose, shifting up and down spreading my arms open and then folding down into a ball. And during all of this my mind would realize that it was dead but that was all it could think about. When I wasn't expanding in-and-out against my will I was in a panic thinking only that I was dead. Occasionally I would hear my S.O. and I would be momentarily snapped out of my daze but this made things even worse. I sincerely thought that I was dead at the time and this was it, not even blissful nothingness to look forward to: just this psychological hell for the rest of eternity.
Eventually my S.O. voice brought me back and it was like a lone light in the darkness leading me back to reality. I hug myself and cry and rock on the floor just saying "please tell me it's going to be OK, just say it is going to be OK please, please" and this was about the last hour of my trip, with occasional boughts of terror and yelling and my S.O. telling me to please quiet down the neighbors can hear me. One of the last things I can remember saying is that I will never touch cannabis ever again.
As I come down I feel pretty good but weird and get in bed with my S.O. I wake up the next day thinking what a waste so I take a tiny sliver of a chunk of brownie and as it affects me I listen to some music and groove a little to forget about the day before and have a pretty good time.
I haven't touched pot since and never intend to again.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
explevel_firsttime
exptype_negative
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
I sauted about an 8th? (sorry I'm bad at measurements I just threw a handful or two in there) of keif in with about a couple tablespoons coconut oil and a stick of unsalted real butter for about 30 minutes till the bud was lightly toasted. Then I followed the recipe on the pilsbury brownie box as normal but replaced my pot mixture for the required oil.
Since I've tried cannabis in pretty much all forms except brownies I decided what the fuck and had a really big chunk of brownie thinking I could totally handle it even though I had zero tolerance to pot at the time and have reacted pretty badly to even just tokes of pot in the past. I have a pretty bad underlying anxiety disorder that is untreated by the way.
The first half hour I feel OK, a little giggly. I start watching TV. All of a sudden *bam* everything starts getting really colorful and bright. I realize that I have just made the biggest mistake of my life. I try to make myself throw up but nothing comes out so I swig about half a gallon of milk and shove about 7 pieces of bread into my mouth. I tell my S.O. I have made a huge mistake and drop the jug of milk on the floor leaving the fridge open I fall on the couch and stare at the tv.
I keep repeating the phrase "I've made a terrible mistake" and start zoning out. My S.O. tries to calm me asks if there is any music or movies they can put on to calm me I say emphatically no and tell them to turn off the tv as it is freaking me out. They do and I slump down to the floor drooling slightly.
At this point for about 4 hours I get the fear really badly and spend that entire time slumped against a table, banging my head and thrashing about. Quite frankly what happened is this: Lady Sativa realized I was disrespecting her, grabbed me betwixt two fingers and preceded to whip me about and shake my entire world.
To give a little more insight I am a person who has had anxiety and depression all my life and who has tried to follow many spiritual teachings. This experience made me realize my attempts at dissolving my ego where laughable. At one point I suspect I had a seizure of some sort as I can dimly remember drooling, putting my hand against my chest and flopping about.
The visions I had that day rocked my entire world. I can almost believe that I was transported to a hell realm as the panic and hellish hallucinations I faced where the most realistic and frightening ones of my life, my heart was pounding so hard against my chest I really thought I was going to die. I told my S.O. that they must call 911 right away, that I was having some terrible reaction and was dying. They said calling 911 for pot was pretty ridiculous and refused. Immediately after saying that I actually saw myself being transported away in an ambulance on a gurney with needles and shit all in me, I swear to God it was real. Suddenly I hear my S.O. and realize it was nothing but a hallucination. I flop a little more.
The next hallucinations are what characterized the entire trip and the most terrible things I will never forget. It is hard to describe but I was like a statue, flowering in and out. Everything would shift about and I would pose, shifting up and down spreading my arms open and then folding down into a ball. And during all of this my mind would realize that it was dead but that was all it could think about. When I wasn't expanding in-and-out against my will I was in a panic thinking only that I was dead. Occasionally I would hear my S.O. and I would be momentarily snapped out of my daze but this made things even worse. I sincerely thought that I was dead at the time and this was it, not even blissful nothingness to look forward to: just this psychological hell for the rest of eternity.
Eventually my S.O. voice brought me back and it was like a lone light in the darkness leading me back to reality. I hug myself and cry and rock on the floor just saying "please tell me it's going to be OK, just say it is going to be OK please, please" and this was about the last hour of my trip, with occasional boughts of terror and yelling and my S.O. telling me to please quiet down the neighbors can hear me. One of the last things I can remember saying is that I will never touch cannabis ever again.
As I come down I feel pretty good but weird and get in bed with my S.O. I wake up the next day thinking what a waste so I take a tiny sliver of a chunk of brownie and as it affects me I listen to some music and groove a little to forget about the day before and have a pretty good time.
I haven't touched pot since and never intend to again.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
explevel_firsttime
exptype_negative
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
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