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Story Perpetual Genesis of the Pharaoh's Grains [Original Version]

Captain.Heroin

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Donald J. Trump

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Perpetual Genesis of Pharaoh’s Grains

by Donald J. Trump​






     There is no logical argument that life is preferable to death. Life is absurd and death is normal. As William Burroughs once said to me while we were snorting heroin, he said, when you’re confused or speechless about a thing, or you’re concerned or suspicious of it, examine for the vested interest and usually, the answer to what is going on is right there. Stare at this, and wonder, well, who’s gaining any advantage by policing my sex life? Who is gaining the upper hand by state-run intimidation coming from the National Guard, the Army, the Air Force, the Navy, and a Local State and Federal Police Force to impose their arbitrary definition of the norm? Who does this benefit? It serves the people who have “power”.

Why do people want “power”? Who are they, who makes up The State, The Nation? Cultural pictographs and religious icons? Is it The Pope, The President of The United States, The Chief Executive Officer, The Board of Directors, or is it a cabal of closeted businessmen and shrouded stock traders on Wall Street and politicians who are almost addicted to power plays because they can’t make any power plays in their lonely bedroom as if they are sexually subconsciously acting out in the only culturally appropriate way Abrahamic cultures allow and their inferior minds can imagine?

Some, Nancy Pelosi, William Barr, Donald J. Trump, of course, are disturbed individuals who are fooled into thinking power has some innate value. It dawns on them, as they are on their last sentient thought in their piss-soaked and shit-stained deathbeds, that it does not. The act of play keep-away with the Pharaoh’s grains became culturally significant again, in 2020, because people subconsciously wish to rearrange society so that people produce a society without controls, power or limits by working in tandem: every particle with a role, with plausible positions and sought-after superpositions, some of us may or may not ever attain, representing nothing different from person to person.

We are just specks of dust shining in the only macula time can exist in, with limited freedom from gravity, with varying fixed levels of energy, stuck in our particular directional motion: free will, for us, is illusory as much as we are, and all we could ever hope to be are pixels on a screen shining brightly, creating a terrible mirage for something else we will never know. The entity staring back at the mirage came to us, in 2020, The Second Coming of The Coronavirus, to prevent global overpopulation and pollution from ending the power illusion, the control continuum.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived back at the first year: 2020, and just as you have heard Christ is coming again, and we know it is the last year of our lives because you say that Jesus was coming; no, you were close but off with the most important details: The Coronavirus was coming, all along. It will be a frightful and grief-stricken time for the lambs while elating and exhilarating the sinners. We were never afraid of dying and you always were. For in death, we lose all power. That is what they are afraid of more than anything. We are afraid that the illusion of control shall ever end for our miserable pathetic selves to have to return to the Earth from whence we came.

I welcome the sweet release of death. My body is not a temple: it is a grave of cement almost fully petrified for nobody else’s feet, lost off in the wilderness never to be stepped on by invisible men with erectile dysfunction and the illusion of free will, and I do not plan on being one of the journalists selfishly crying about how many ventilators the United States does not have expecting The President of The United States to care about me. I always knew he didn’t. Only liberals would still expect to be saved by the federal government after four years of ridiculing Satan himself. Only conservatives are stupid enough to want a federal government to save them after eight years of Obama. I always knew the political game was this sick, politically incorrect and highly offensive joke for people who haven’t accepted their mortality, their inner death, the fact they are already dead and we all are already dead, the fact that we are just putting ourselves in front of the 405nm wavelengths for one last viewing of the macula; the singularity sucking up all that it faces for the sake of the information not lost nor destroyed but converted by the optic nerve, fed to the brain.

Is this wavelength short enough for all the information we plan to cram into the void? Does the whole world have such a fear of success that we all fear death, so terribly, because we wish to end reality through shoving too much information into the singularity so that it cannot grow anymore, and we are forever stuck outside of it? Shall we too not be lost to time but lost to the indifference of our creation? Will we too die afraid and alone, shaking and crying for help so that we don’t have to feel the blissful state of nirvana? Shall we be ready for the euphoric release of suffering that the weakest of us strive to hold onto? Sex is a singularity: one is entering the void and the other is the void. The top knows it. The bottom knows it. The gimp puts on his leather mask and goes in front of the cameras, our light, their inaction, and professes an undisclosed number of masks, gowns, ventilators, adult-sized areolas for feeding your frightened hardening shell of what was once a body through the endotracheal tube made of plastic and your own instinctual will to avoid life’s greatest pleasure will be delivered to you, your state, your city, your county, your neck of the woods…

…today. Any day now. Next week. I’ll be there in five minutes: I promise. They call it “CPT”. Colored People Time. This is accurate now because the dope dealer is now an orange sociopathic monster encouraging you to pack full churches on Easter Sunday. The color of the vile race is orange and they shove their obese corpses into tanning beds, in New York, New Jersey, New Reich, and they do not have power. They are motionless, their small dicks predictably flaccid and do not realize they will never have the upper hand. The top has the upper hand and it always hurts and is red. The orange is now fading, it is a pale peach, as he truly is afraid of The Second Coming of The Coronavirus.

The road to hell is not paved with good intentions, that’s what people who believe in free will say. The road to hell is paved with control illusions. You think you can change reality. If you can, you’ll only make it worse: and I invite you to try! Go shoot the giant peach off the tree and eat its flesh. Wear its skin. Become the corpse in the tanning bed, develop osteoarthritis, acne vulgaris (the peach’s version of a top, the bastardized mistranslation of “point, top” from Greek ἀκμή) has hidden subconscious sexuality behind it: the highest or culminating point of something, the flower’s prime, the poppy’s bloom, the zenith of my penis. The only ἀκμή the giant fading peach on the dead tree has is acne vulgaris. He holds the belief that power is founded by preventing, discouraging, and delaying sex. Providing people with so much fruitful employment they do not resort to sexual pastimes. Capitalizing off their efforts to gain enough money to enjoy a reprieve from the fading droll of daily life by remaining still, flaccid, fixated in fear, unable to make a move without doing it forcefully without consent or innate appeal.

Even the decaying, desiccated peach on the dead tree, spaced two meters away from everyone, does not want to enter someone else’s sacred personal space; an invisible panic room with real walls, real consequences, made of the same specks of dust that we are is afraid to find out if they are male, or female. Intoxicated or sober. Charming or disturbing. A top or a bottom. The peach dies because it never found out, never found nirvana in life, never visited the sweet release before its natural conclusion.

Visitors to the death realm: do not be disturbed. Somewhere else contains people who will never make it here, and you are now afraid you cannot be one of them any longer. Why? Were you under the illusion of control, the psychosis of power? The other ἀκμή the lump of peach preserves amongst the flies and mold growing a thin crust over the decaying guts of what used to be Satan never had, “time, the best or most fitting time”.

This is when I knew. It was the best or most fitting time, to make a series of predictions, and I knew. I knew they would all become true. Seven to eight years ago, from 2013 to 2014, I wrote a fictional book predicting a national socialist takeover of America by the remains of the peach preserves not devoured yet by mold or the flies which are now dead themselves, rotting on top of the mold. This came to pass two years later.

I then predicted in 2017 that my last partner and best friend of five years would die of end-stage organ failure from prolific alcoholism. This, including the exact cause of death, came to pass two years later. My Grandfather died, and I did not see that happening so quickly: that is the only blessing attributable to random luck or coincidence, that he only spent twelve hours in a non-verbal, totally rigid, oxygen-deprived and hypothermic state.

One day I saw it was 2020, the first and the last year. I predicted my Grandmother would die this year, around January I felt it and I knew. I felt the ἀκμή coming and I feel it growing as much as I do the peak of the mountain in my pants, in the first and last year 2020. This came to pass within months on March 11, 2020. I think back to the predictions I have been shouting at anyone who will listen to me, regarding the predictions I made in January 2020 before I felt the ἀκμή coming for my Grandmother’s release from a body of pain and involuntary immobility (they went to Heaven, do you get it? Voluntary immobility is Hell and involuntary immobility is Heaven, for these people, though the mobility is not something I choose, rather the mobility is something that chooses to be me).

These predictions I made, that I have not listed, are that the mold that has now fully enveloped anything that may have ever resembled a peach or a smelly lump of peach preserves fading lighter and lighter in our refracted wavelengths of light, our non-corporeal forms of light and energy not matter, for we are only the information dictating how much of each, where, and when, will become re-elected. The last that I have made is that 2020 is the year that I will die. These last two predictions have not had the appropriate time to come to fruition, I do wonder if I will live through to see the injustice of all my terrible, unwanted premonitions to become palpable, perceptible, not just premonitions but reality.

Not just nightmares, but dreams. Not just a psychedelic trip, but a sobering horrific reality. My body, decaying euphorically from ten grams of ketamine injected into my muscle to induce a beautiful and fearless overdose, or something two thousand times more potent for this purpose: a five milligram injection of triazolam in lieu of a society which forbids me from acquiring ten to fifty grams of secobarbital which is a superior agent, so superior that I may not even require the rope, this rope I have which I’ve brought with me to die to avoid succumbing to morphine or heroin, for it is stronger than any relationship, it is stronger than any logical argument, it is stronger than a spiritual belief, it is the shadow of the valley of death, it is as lethal as it is sexy, it is the nihilist apocalypse, it is a living death, I would serve overfed human beings, make my money, then put a handful of change into my gas tank so I could drive and score in the projects, my reality had become a suicidal cycle and eventually this cycle would have killed me if I didn’t escape it. I’ve been asked what my internal thoughts are to which I know that when I’m suffering, I don’t care if I have to go through fire, through acid, risking death along the way: it doesn’t matter who is screaming at me to stop, because I’m stuck in the event horizon of determinism and there is no escape.

I was unable to stop, even able to stop myself from using in front of family, screaming at myself in front of the mirror, screaming to stop using at this waste of life that is myself staring back at me in the reflection I see, in the woods of eastern Washington state, somewhere far away from The Second Coming of The Coronavirus, from the liars who proselytize about The Second Coming of Jesus Christ, far away from the gas stations, the cement sidewalks, the abhorrent asphalt warming us up in the midst of an ever-warming planet we cannot survive in forever, furthest point away from the sands of Doha that I’ll ever know, before the actual sands of Doha are deserted by the people who fear the whole, who fear entering the hole, who fear entering the rectangular indention shoveled out carefully and lovingly by someone who is ready for the grave, while I sing sweet tunes softly in my head and aloud: I’ll slip the noose around my neck, unrepentant and unforgivingly still obsessed, enmeshed and consumed by the best joy, the bevel entering the brain interface, injecting the shot of triazolam, growing so tired I know it will be alright if I slip off into my final sleep, staring one last time up at the troposphere, sideways into the forest, and down into the dirt alone and I know it draws me to my last prediction.

Please verify it for me because this is my calling. My abstemious lips are blue as I follow my dour path, my vision fades into visuals that have haunted me my whole life as the specter of death has, a beautiful illusion and distraction from the tedious suffering of life in perfectly reposing dimethyltryptamine visuals, ones that will seemingly last forever like a ten milligram dosage of Aleph-4. Reality is gone, my whole body grows cold, a gall reaction to the temperature outside and I feel the sexually exhilarating departure of my soul evacuating my corpse, and I am glad I am here for there is nowhere else I would rather be, hanging in cold air, for this is where I belong.
 
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Captain.Heroin

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FOOTNOTES


In Ancient Egyptian culture, the Pharaoh's Grains were not for the Pharaoh; they were to be burned in sacrifice to the non-existent gods. They were never meant to be consumed.


Red -> Orange -> Peach -> Fading Peach -> 405nm (Violet) = Color Spectrum


The act of play keep-away with the Pharaoh’s grains became culturally significant again, in 2020
The food shortage was a hoax in order to allow the meat packing factories to pack workers in like sardines, discarding the sick in order to prevent losing profits. Plenty of meat was available in deep-freeze. A food shortage hoax of this nature would never have organically happened; it was planned.


if they are male, or female. Intoxicated or sober. Charming or disturbing. A top or a bottom.
I am comparing people to particle physics, i.e. string particles.


Visitors to the death realm...
Refers to people who have attained nirvana, post-life experiences etc.


Explanation of the one Greek word I use to tie together several concepts...

ἀκμή • (akmḗ) f (genitive ἀκμῆς); first declension

1. point, edge
2. the highest or culminating point of something, bloom, flower, prime, zenith, especially of a person's age
3. time, the best or most fitting time


I predicted that the Los Angeles Rams would go to, and lose, the super bowl, before the New Orleans Saints filed their lawsuit.

I didn't include that in this piece because it had nothing topically to do with Trump, politics, the coronavirus, or anything of that sort.


My Grandfather died, and I did not see that happening so quickly: that is the only blessing attributable to random luck or coincidence, that he only spent twelve hours in a non-verbal, totally rigid, oxygen-deprived and hypothermic state.
The last stage of Alzheimer's Disease, which is what killed my Grandfather, my hero, can last from weeks to years. 12 hours is remarkably lucky. This is the only thing that leads me to believe that there is something that cared deeply for my Grandfather.


I’ve brought with me to die to avoid succumbing to morphine or heroin, for it is stronger than any relationship, it is stronger than any logical argument, it is stronger than a spiritual belief, it is the shadow of the valley of death, it is as lethal as it is sexy, it is the nihilist apocalypse, it is a living death, I would serve overfed human beings, make my money, then put a handful of change into my gas tank so I could drive and score in the projects, my reality had become a suicidal cycle and eventually this cycle would have killed me if I didn’t escape it.
In real life, I was a waiter and would put a handful of change in my gas tank, cop in Blackwell, VA and go use in Richmond, VA or thereabouts. This was a suicidal cycle if I ever knew it. I will end my life before relapsing on heroin. Once, while suicidal, someone suggested I relapse on heroin instead of killing myself. This is a non-starter; I will die before using heroin again.


before the actual sands of Doha are deserted by the people who fear the whole
The nation of Qatar and UAE will become uninhabitable in a few decades, in my lifetime if I live long enough, due to global warming, and they are still building their nations.


As per request, additional footnotes were requested, so here they are in full. I hope this fully explains everything.

Oh Jesus, ok well let me confess and come clean; I used found literature for part of this piece (it is not all original). Genesis P-Orridge (who recently died of Leukemia earlier in 2020 of Leukemia) was having an interview and was explaining a conversation regarding power, sex, etc. with William Burroughs.

William Burroughs wrote the infamous Naked Lunch book and if you haven't read it, you really should. It is a must read. It is the most obscene book I have ever read and I don't regret it. The book is NC-17 if the movie was G (don't bother watching the movie until reading the book; it is wildly tame compared to the novel).

Keep in mind Burroughs had been sober during this point in my life, and I added the "while we were snorting heroin" to spice things up.

As Genesis was primarily from the United Kingdom, he listed...

Is it the symbolic figures like the Queen, or is it an invisible group of businessmen and power brokers and politicians who are almost addicted to power plays as they would be to playing chess? And some of them, of course, are disturbed individuals who actually think power has some innate value, which is does not.

So I Americanized it, and replaced enough adjectives/adverbs so that plagiarism checking algorithms couldn't detect what I did.

national guard
army
air force
navy
local state
federal police force

The National Guard was utilized during the early pandemic, the Army has been somehow appointed to distribute the covid-19 vaccines when they are ready, the Air Force is the best branch of the military by far, the Navy suffered extreme covid-19 deaths early on in the pandemic.

The Local State and Federal Police Force certainly point toward the protests of black/blue lives matter (which was a silly staring at our feet contest so that Russia, China, etc. can keep pushing for land grabs while we squabble about racial issues that pale in comparison to international politics).

The Pope holds a lot of power in the minds of the main conquest religion; Christianity. I am an atheist and I hold disdain toward religion in general, but specifically I think Catholicism is specifically a gross part of Christianity.

The President of the United States = The Gimp = Donald J. Trump = Satan = The Dope Dealer [his "it's on its way" promise-lies about PPE/ventilators during the early pandemic]. I use all of these as synonyms for soon-to-not-be-our-President-for-much-longer Trump. I also call him "The peach", "The rotting peach" etc.

the chief executive officer
the board of directors

Further alludes to the food shortage hoax (we had 1 year of chicken, pork, beef, etc. in deep freeze; this was deliberately orchestrated so Trump could pass a bunch of executive orders essentially allowing the meat packing companies to keep stuffing employees in factories like sardines, that they couldn't sue if they got sick and/or died from covid-19, all so these companies didn't take a profit hit). The CEO's Trump had on the coronavirus meetings i.e. Sonny Purdue was in on the hoax.

Yes there was really a toilet paper shortage but it's because people were psychologically trying to gain control over a situation where there was none to be had (whereas the food shortage was a hoax).

Abrahamic Religions are the ones in denial about life being suffering. They think life is GREAT, FANTASTIC yet believe in what I call a "forever death". This is because they are suppressing the idea life is suffering, and to be able to never come back to life would be great, don't you think? Except that's not a reality (in my world). I do believe in reincarnation, I am a Buddhist, I believe in determinism, I believe in one mind, and I believe in eternal recurrence. If you are not familiar with these concepts, research or ask me: I don't mind explaining them. (Yes I know they are a series of mostly minority positions).

Pelosi, Barr, Trump are some of the worst when it comes to "power obsession" and specifically Pelosi and I believe Barr (if not, several Republican senators) took advantage of the PPP loans that should have gone to small businesses (and these are ridiculously wealthy individuals). The unanimous passing of the first stimulus bill was basically a HUGE money grab for the rich, while giving poor people just enough to make them feel like they weren't getting dicked (though they were and still are).

The Second Coming of the Coronavirus refers to the fact that this already broke a species barrier (to get into bats) and it also alludes to Eternal Recurrence (that this has all happened before, and the implication is that we are in the second iteration of eternal recurrence). This also alludes to the fact that we BARELY got covid-19 levels under control before they skyrocketed again. "The Second Wave" is what they call it.

Christ / Jesus / Coronavirus = I am equating Christ to Covid-19. An all powerful, all knowing, and all loving god wouldn't allow covid-19 to occur unless it really was for the best. I'm mocking the religious believers here, and also, why couldn't god be inside of us? It makes more sense god, if he existed (which he doesn't) would microscopically hide from us and not be some macroscopic thing in the sky. God may even be trying desperately to reduce our population so that we can live in tandem with the earth without leaving a dead rock behind, and he isn't doing a good enough job if that's the case (2 billion living green is sustainable = we have 8 billion mostly fossil fuel burning humans who are actively destroying Planet Earth).

The Earth - I had this beautiful alcohol and ketamine experience where I felt and watched myself die in fast motion, and it was exhilarating to feel the elements of my body return to whence they came, and then I soared up in the sky and inhabited the consciousness of someone about 0.25 to 0.5 miles away from me. I could hear everything they were saying, but did not understand the context. I believe they had no idea that I was in their mind. Keep in mind this is considered "astral projection" which I call bullshit on *all the time*. But it's what I experienced and I'm sticking to it.

Early on in the pandemic the media were concerned with numbers of ventilators, etc. It was totally pathetic. In the words of Marco Corbelli, "Death comes in a moment, a beautiful orgasm beyond compare" - I have had the suffocation/drowning sensation from influenza two years in a row 2018-2019. I will not be intubated. I would rather die. Intubation is painful and dehumanizing. It was disgusting the selfish questions the media would ask. It doesn't matter how many barely sick people we could save. Closing down POE (points of entry), sealing the borders, and relying only on the national economy was way more important. But Trump lies when he says he is a nationalist; he is a white internationalist hellbent on not going to war (literally I would have voted for Trump if he went through with the January Iran strike he pussied out of, and if he would have resumed the war on DPRK). It's sad when the Republican Party turned into a bunch of war-hating spendocrats. It's a one party system now, really.

POTUS - This is the best line. Democrats are idiots for thinking a narcist they slung shit into the face of for years would suddenly give a shit about them, and Republicans are the bigger idiots for despising Obama and all he tried to do in the public health sector. This is when the breakdown of "power versus accepting powerlessness" should come to fruition. The Republicans decried 8 years of Obama trying to give Americans basic medical care, and had that not happened, the covid-19 crisis would be, in my mind, 5 to 10 times worse than it is now.

Nirvana: If you've experienced it, you know what I am referring to. If you haven't, then you wouldn't be able to comprehend it. Nirvana is the closest one can get to non-existence. It is a state of pure bliss. Often I reach this state through psychedelics and go non-verbal, close my eyes, and lie still during the experience.

Colored People Time is a racist term that refers to black heroin dealers saying "I'll be there in 5 minutes" but really taking much longer. This is quite literally what Trump did with promised PPE equipment and ventilators early on in the pandemic. None of those white house reporters have had a heroin addiction before, none of them sensed the CPT going on (which is really "I'll get to you when I get to you, stop asking questions and be grateful you're getting anything at all").

I refer to Trump and pals as The Dope Dealer as they lied about when they would get PPE/ventilators to the people.

Easter Sunday: Trump encouraged Americans to pack churches FULL on Easter Sunday. He really did use these words and it was dangerous and people died as a result.

New York, New Jersey, New Reich = all allusions to this part of the country where civil rights take a back seat to white privilege, where all the white trash gets tanned in tanning beds that surely causes cancer and makes them look weirdly orange. I remember Mike Pompeo did it one week and it was VERY noticeable on him and quite unbecoming. I believe Trump must have talked him into doing it.

The Illusion of Control, The Psychosis of Power: The power-hungry politicians are deluded into thinking they have free will. I believe in determinism. Power is a psychosis. Control is an illusion. Your brain and body are reacting to input received slightly after it's been processed with auditory being slightly quicker than visual input. Literally free will is an illusion. But, if you're like most people who believe in free will, imagine that there is a level of "control/power" politicians crave and aim for that is dangerous, damaging and damning.

My grandfather was my personal idol and was fine until 90 when he began slowing down. By 92-93 it was clear he had dementia. He died at 96 of Alzheimer's Disease. Little known reality: they looked for a cause for this disease. A virus was not found. Plaque in the brain did not explain everything. It is a lifelong genetic condition and the first symptoms noticeable early in life are insomnia and social anxiety. I firmly believe if I don't die of something else that Alzheimer's Disease will take my life for this reason and I may have to euthanize myself before I turn as old as my Grandfather did.

Yes, there are genetic tests. I already know what the results are going to be, though, and would be shocked to learn if they did not apply to me. I would rather not know and wait until I age to face it.

My Grandmother's mind was sharp until the day she died, but her body was in constant pain from arthritis, congestive heart failure (cause of death), and hypokyphosis ("Hunchback syndrome"). If you could have taken my Grandmother's brain and put it in my Grandfather's body, such a Frankenstein easily could have lived on another few decades.

Voluntary immobility is Hell
Not wanting to use their bodies such as lazy people like Donald Trump who expects someone else to pick up his Big Mac and Diet Coke was hellish to them; they were hard workers their whole lives.

involuntary immobility is Heaven

The inability to move any longer was no longer their fault and led to death and their idea of going to heaven (Nirvana). Only when their bodies gave up on them did they feel they had lived a full life. As opposed to Donald Trump who will never feel he had enough in life.

Psychedelic trip: I didn't predict these things intoxicated, I was sober for all of these predictions.

My body is incompatible with the ecosystem and I look forward to not having children and dying to help save the ecosystem, i.e. Voluntary Human Extinction Movement Theory. Literally because the alternative is a dead rock where the last humans will only have Soylent Green for food. I also don't identify my body as a human being; I am a corpse, a coffin, the final predicate of my complete containment theory (Leibniz philosophy). I am a living corpse. I have already died once before and I shall die again in the same manner.

Ketamine is an incapacitating agent (and a dissociative psychedelic). In the event that Donald Trump won re-election in 2021 (as I had predicted in my piece, incorrectly) my plan was to end my life via an incapacitating agent, and a long noose so as to snap my neck for an instant death.

Five milligrams of triazolam would do the same; I'm not sure if it would now due to my benzodiazepine tolerance to flu-alprazolam but I'm sure I could take a few days off. These are benzodiazepines used for insomnia.

Eastern Washington State: This is a scene in my book, a part of the nation I haven't visited yet, but would be remote enough for a suicide and is also quite beautiful. In my 710,646 word long novel (1,054 pages, single spaced 12 pt. Times New Roman). Characters without spaces: 3,200,313. With spaces: 3,862,367. In this novel there is a scene, earlier on in the novel, where most of the main characters go to camp and take LSD in Riverside State Park.

Jesus was a fictional character and there couldn't be a second coming of Jesus Christ if there never was a first; non-Biblical historical records of the time do not mention a Jesus of Nazareth. It was a narrative spun, thankfully, to prevent Islam from taking over the world. I hope eventually all religions are gone, but I am certainly glad I don't have to pray 8 times a day to false god because some child rapist created a religion that has only created chaos and bloodshed in a large part of the world (mostly because of Iran and their Shiite supremacy, but that aside...)

The gas stations, the cement side walks, the abhorrent asphalt is part of human creation that has destroyed the earth. It is heavenly to escape this whenever I get to. Los Angeles is often called a "concrete jungle" and it's a very off-putting mental image.

Doha, the capital of Qatar, and the UAE will be uninhabitable in 30-40 years despite continued developments, as if they expect global warming to stop or for there to be new "anti-heat technology" which won't come to fruition in time. These lands will be abandoned.

The figurative sands of Doha I am referring to a clay pit in a local day spa as this is what it feels like to me when it is especially heated up.

The troposphere is literally where I would last look; it's the lowest part of the atmosphere. I would want to see the sky, nature, and so on during my last moments on earth.

Sideways into the forest is me descending into a natural grave (very slowly).

The Dirt is the earth that will consume my body as it decays.

Abstemious; not self-indulgent. My abstemious lips would literally refer to me refusing food and only using ice chips to stay hydrated so as to prepare my body for suicide.




One last point I must admit...

I may not even require the rope, this rope I have which I’ve brought with me to die to avoid succumbing to morphine or heroin, for it is stronger than any relationship, it is stronger than any logical argument, it is stronger than a spiritual belief, it is the shadow of the valley of death, it is as lethal as it is sexy, it is the nihilist apocalypse, it is a living death, I would serve overfed human beings, make my money, then put a handful of change into my gas tank so I could drive and score in the projects, my reality had become a suicidal cycle and eventually this cycle would have killed me if I didn’t escape it. I’ve been asked what my internal thoughts are to which I know that when I’m suffering, I don’t care if I have to go through fire, through acid, risking death along the way: it doesn’t matter who is screaming at me to stop, because I’m stuck in the event horizon of determinism and there is no escape.
This is me paraphrasing / found literature technique from Heroin's Children. Someone once suggested I just relapse on heroin instead of killing myself and, believe me, the latter is going to happen before the former. Please watch Heroin's Children. It's not an epidemic. Trump declared it an epidemic because the < 20,000 people dying per year are mostly white, versus the 440,000 tobacco users who die every year, 95,000 alcohol deaths per year, or even the 257,000 dead covid-19 victims.
 

Captain.Heroin

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As per request, additional footnotes were requested, so here they are in full. I hope this fully explains everything.

Oh Jesus, ok well let me confess and come clean; I used found literature for part of this piece (it is not all original). Genesis P-Orridge (who recently died of Leukemia earlier in 2020 of Leukemia) was having an interview and was explaining a conversation regarding power, sex, etc. with William Burroughs.

William Burroughs wrote the infamous Naked Lunch book and if you haven't read it, you really should. It is a must read. It is the most obscene book I have ever read and I don't regret it. The book is NC-17 if the movie was G (don't bother watching the movie until reading the book; it is wildly tame compared to the novel).

Keep in mind Burroughs had been sober during this point in my life, and I added the "while we were snorting heroin" to spice things up.

As Genesis was primarily from the United Kingdom, he listed...

Is it the symbolic figures like the Queen, or is it an invisible group of businessmen and power brokers and politicians who are almost addicted to power plays as they would be to playing chess? And some of them, of course, are disturbed individuals who actually think power has some innate value, which is does not.

So I Americanized it, and replaced enough adjectives/adverbs so that plagiarism checking algorithms couldn't detect what I did.

national guard
army
air force
navy
local state
federal police force

The National Guard was utilized during the early pandemic, the Army has been somehow appointed to distribute the covid-19 vaccines when they are ready, the Air Force is the best branch of the military by far, the Navy suffered extreme covid-19 deaths early on in the pandemic.

The Local State and Federal Police Force certainly point toward the protests of black/blue lives matter (which was a silly staring at our feet contest so that Russia, China, etc. can keep pushing for land grabs while we squabble about racial issues that pale in comparison to international politics).

The Pope holds a lot of power in the minds of the main conquest religion; Christianity. I am an atheist and I hold disdain toward religion in general, but specifically I think Catholicism is specifically a gross part of Christianity.

The President of the United States = The Gimp = Donald J. Trump = Satan = The Dope Dealer [his "it's on its way" promise-lies about PPE/ventilators during the early pandemic]. I use all of these as synonyms for soon-to-not-be-our-President-for-much-longer Trump. I also call him "The peach", "The rotting peach" etc.

the chief executive officer
the board of directors

Further alludes to the food shortage hoax (we had 1 year of chicken, pork, beef, etc. in deep freeze; this was deliberately orchestrated so Trump could pass a bunch of executive orders essentially allowing the meat packing companies to keep stuffing employees in factories like sardines, that they couldn't sue if they got sick and/or died from covid-19, all so these companies didn't take a profit hit). The CEO's Trump had on the coronavirus meetings i.e. Sonny Purdue was in on the hoax.

Yes there was really a toilet paper shortage but it's because people were psychologically trying to gain control over a situation where there was none to be had (whereas the food shortage was a hoax).

Abrahamic Religions are the ones in denial about life being suffering. They think life is GREAT, FANTASTIC yet believe in what I call a "forever death". This is because they are suppressing the idea life is suffering, and to be able to never come back to life would be great, don't you think? Except that's not a reality (in my world). I do believe in reincarnation, I am a Buddhist, I believe in determinism, I believe in one mind, and I believe in eternal recurrence. If you are not familiar with these concepts, research or ask me: I don't mind explaining them. (Yes I know they are a series of mostly minority positions).

Pelosi, Barr, Trump are some of the worst when it comes to "power obsession" and specifically Pelosi and I believe Barr (if not, several Republican senators) took advantage of the PPP loans that should have gone to small businesses (and these are ridiculously wealthy individuals). The unanimous passing of the first stimulus bill was basically a HUGE money grab for the rich, while giving poor people just enough to make them feel like they weren't getting dicked (though they were and still are).

The Second Coming of the Coronavirus refers to the fact that this already broke a species barrier (to get into bats) and it also alludes to Eternal Recurrence (that this has all happened before, and the implication is that we are in the second iteration of eternal recurrence). This also alludes to the fact that we BARELY got covid-19 levels under control before they skyrocketed again. "The Second Wave" is what they call it.

Christ / Jesus / Coronavirus = I am equating Christ to Covid-19. An all powerful, all knowing, and all loving god wouldn't allow covid-19 to occur unless it really was for the best. I'm mocking the religious believers here, and also, why couldn't god be inside of us? It makes more sense god, if he existed (which he doesn't) would microscopically hide from us and not be some macroscopic thing in the sky. God may even be trying desperately to reduce our population so that we can live in tandem with the earth without leaving a dead rock behind, and he isn't doing a good enough job if that's the case (2 billion living green is sustainable = we have 8 billion mostly fossil fuel burning humans who are actively destroying Planet Earth).

The Earth - I had this beautiful alcohol and ketamine experience where I felt and watched myself die in fast motion, and it was exhilarating to feel the elements of my body return to whence they came, and then I soared up in the sky and inhabited the consciousness of someone about 0.25 to 0.5 miles away from me. I could hear everything they were saying, but did not understand the context. I believe they had no idea that I was in their mind. Keep in mind this is considered "astral projection" which I call bullshit on *all the time*. But it's what I experienced and I'm sticking to it.

Early on in the pandemic the media were concerned with numbers of ventilators, etc. It was totally pathetic. In the words of Marco Corbelli, "Death comes in a moment, a beautiful orgasm beyond compare" - I have had the suffocation/drowning sensation from influenza two years in a row 2018-2019. I will not be intubated. I would rather die. Intubation is painful and dehumanizing. It was disgusting the selfish questions the media would ask. It doesn't matter how many barely sick people we could save. Closing down POE (points of entry), sealing the borders, and relying only on the national economy was way more important. But Trump lies when he says he is a nationalist; he is a white internationalist hellbent on not going to war (literally I would have voted for Trump if he went through with the January Iran strike he pussied out of, and if he would have resumed the war on DPRK). It's sad when the Republican Party turned into a bunch of war-hating spendocrats. It's a one party system now, really.

POTUS - This is the best line. Democrats are idiots for thinking a narcist they slung shit into the face of for years would suddenly give a shit about them, and Republicans are the bigger idiots for despising Obama and all he tried to do in the public health sector. This is when the breakdown of "power versus accepting powerlessness" should come to fruition. The Republicans decried 8 years of Obama trying to give Americans basic medical care, and had that not happened, the covid-19 crisis would be, in my mind, 5 to 10 times worse than it is now.

Nirvana: If you've experienced it, you know what I am referring to. If you haven't, then you wouldn't be able to comprehend it. Nirvana is the closest one can get to non-existence. It is a state of pure bliss. Often I reach this state through psychedelics and go non-verbal, close my eyes, and lie still during the experience.

Colored People Time is a racist term that refers to black heroin dealers saying "I'll be there in 5 minutes" but really taking much longer. This is *EXACTLY* what Trump did with promised PPE equipment and ventilators early on in the pandemic. None of those white house reporters have had a heroin addiction before, none of them sensed the CPT going on (which is really "I'll get to you when I get to you, stop asking questions and be grateful you're getting anything at all").

I refer to Trump and pals as The Dope Dealer as they lied about when they would get PPE/ventilators to the people.

Easter Sunday: Trump encouraged Americans to pack churches FULL on Easter Sunday. He really did use these words and it was dangerous and people died as a result.

New York, New Jersey, New Reich = all allusions to this part of the country where civil rights take a back seat to white privilege, where all the white trash gets tanned in tanning beds that surely causes cancer and makes them look weirdly orange. I remember Mike Pompeo did it one week and it was VERY noticeable on him and quite unbecoming. I believe Trump must have talked him into doing it.

The Illusion of Control, The Psychosis of Power: The power-hungry politicians are deluded into thinking they have free will. I believe in determinism. Power is a psychosis. Control is an illusion. Your brain and body are reacting to input received slightly after it's been processed with auditory being slightly quicker than visual input. Literally free will is an illusion. But, if you're like most people who believe in free will, imagine that there is a level of "control/power" politicians crave and aim for that is dangerous, damaging and damning.

My grandfather was my personal idol and was fine until 90 when he began slowing down. By 92-93 it was clear he had dementia. He died at 96 of Alzheimer's Disease. Little known reality: they looked for a cause for this disease. A virus was not found. Plaque in the brain did not explain everything. It is a lifelong genetic condition and the first symptoms noticeable early in life are insomnia and social anxiety. I firmly believe if I don't die of something else that Alzheimer's Disease will take my life for this reason and I may have to euthanize myself before I turn as old as my Grandfather did.

Yes, there are genetic tests. I already know what the results are going to be, though, and would be shocked to learn if they did not apply to me. I would rather not know and wait until I age to face it.

My Grandmother's mind was sharp until the day she died, but her body was in constant pain from arthritis, congestive heart failure (cause of death), and hyperkyphosis ("Hunchback syndrome"). If you could have taken my Grandmother's brain and put it in my Grandfather's body, such a Frankenstein easily could have lived on another few decades.

Voluntary immobility is Hell
Not wanting to use their bodies such as lazy people like Donald Trump who expects someone else to pick up his Big Mac and Diet Coke was hellish to them; they were hard workers their whole lives.

involuntary immobility is Heaven

The inability to move any longer was no longer their fault and led to death and their idea of going to heaven (Nirvana). Only when their bodies gave up on them did they feel they had lived a full life. As opposed to Donald Trump who will never feel he had enough in life.

Psychedelic trip: I didn't predict these things intoxicated, I was sober for all of these predictions.

My body is incompatible with the ecosystem and I look forward to not having children and dying to help save the ecosystem, i.e. Voluntary Human Extinction Movement Theory. Literally because the alternative is a dead rock where the last humans will only have Soylent Green for food. I also don't identify my body as a human being; I am a corpse, a coffin, the final predicate of my complete containment theory (Leibniz philosophy). I am a living corpse. I have already died once before and I shall die again in the same manner.

Ketamine is an incapacitating agent (and a dissociative psychedelic). In the event that Donald Trump won re-election in 2021 (as I had predicted in my piece, incorrectly) my plan was to end my life via an incapacitating agent, and a long noose so as to snap my neck for an instant death.

Five milligrams of triazolam would do the same; I'm not sure if it would now due to my benzodiazepine tolerance to flu-alprazolam but I'm sure I could take a few days off. These are benzodiazepines used for insomnia.

Eastern Washington State: This is a scene in my book, a part of the nation I haven't visited yet, but would be remote enough for a suicide and is also quite beautiful. In my 710,646 word long novel (1,054 pages, single spaced 12 pt. Times New Roman). Characters without spaces: 3,200,313. With spaces: 3,862,367. In this novel there is a scene, earlier on in the novel, where most of the main characters go to camp and take LSD in Riverside State Park.

Jesus was a fictional character and there couldn't be a second coming of Jesus Christ if there never was a first; non-Biblical historical records of the time do not mention a Jesus of Nazareth. It was a narrative spun, thankfully, to prevent Islam from taking over the world. I hope eventually all religions are gone, but I am certainly glad I don't have to pray 8 times a day to false god because some child rapist created a religion that has only created chaos and bloodshed in a large part of the world (mostly because of Iran and their Shiite supremacy, but that aside...)

The gas stations, the cement side walks, the abhorrent asphalt is part of human creation that has destroyed the earth. It is heavenly to escape this whenever I get to. Los Angeles is often called a "concrete jungle" and it's a very off-putting mental image.

Doha, the capital of Qatar, and the UAE will be uninhabitable in 30-40 years despite continued developments, as if they expect global warming to stop or for there to be new "anti-heat technology" which won't come to fruition in time. These lands will be abandoned.

The figurative sands of Doha I am referring to a clay pit in a local day spa as this is what it feels like to me when it is especially heated up.

The troposphere is literally where I would last look; it's the lowest part of the atmosphere. I would want to see the sky, nature, and so on during my last moments on earth.

Sideways into the forest is me descending into a natural grave (very slowly).

The Dirt is the earth that will consume my body as it decays.

Abstemious; not self-indulgent. My abstemious lips would literally refer to me refusing food and only using ice chips to stay hydrated so as to prepare my body for suicide.




One last point I must admit...

I may not even require the rope, this rope I have which I’ve brought with me to die to avoid succumbing to morphine or heroin, for it is stronger than any relationship, it is stronger than any logical argument, it is stronger than a spiritual belief, it is the shadow of the valley of death, it is as lethal as it is sexy, it is the nihilist apocalypse, it is a living death, I would serve overfed human beings, make my money, then put a handful of change into my gas tank so I could drive and score in the projects, my reality had become a suicidal cycle and eventually this cycle would have killed me if I didn’t escape it. I’ve been asked what my internal thoughts are to which I know that when I’m suffering, I don’t care if I have to go through fire, through acid, risking death along the way: it doesn’t matter who is screaming at me to stop, because I’m stuck in the event horizon of determinism and there is no escape.
This is me paraphrasing / found literature technique from Heroin's Children. Someone once suggested I just relapse on heroin instead of killing myself and, believe me, the latter is going to happen before the former. Please watch Heroin's Children. It's not an epidemic. Trump declared it an epidemic because the < 20,000 people dying per year are mostly white, versus the 440,000 tobacco users who die every year, 95,000 alcohol deaths per year, or even the 257,000 dead covid-19 victims.
 

birdup.snaildown

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Captain.Heroin said:
William Burroughs wrote the infamous Naked Lunch book and if you haven't read it, you really should. It is a must read. It is the most obscene book I have ever read and I don't regret it.

Have you read The Soft Machine by Burroughs?

Came out 2 years after Naked Lunch. Definitely more obscene. Highly recommended.
 

Captain.Heroin

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Have you read The Soft Machine by Burroughs?

Came out 2 years after Naked Lunch. Definitely more obscene. Highly recommended.
It's odd you ask me that; I downloaded the rest of his novels randomly the other day but have not.

The Soft Machine is not linked under "Works" on his wiki page

I guess I should hunt for it on soulseek and if I cannot find it there then I'm fucked?
 
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