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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Hopeless People with multiple unintentional drug overdoses, do you think you just don't care about life? (Subconciously)

I think OD’s come from a number of factors, but mainly a combination of the desire for intensity plus lack of knowledge around pharmacology of the substance.

The people I’ve seen die were the ones that liked to push it to the edge. (Granted this was back before fent dope was as common as street corner crack.) Each high had yo be just as good or better than the last.

They also seemed less aware of the overall possibilities and effects that can happen. Or maybe aware but in denial.

I was always a maintenance type user, to alleviate my “symptoms” which back then was extreme anxiety, nausea, etc.. Even IV I’d shoot amounts that would keep me functioning but not in pain. I also never got close to overdosing in my years using drugs.

-GC
 
I accidentally OD'd on etaqualone (a barbiturate like compound related closely to methaqualone).

I was in my bathroom smoking etaqualone, next thing I know I wake up days later in an ICU with a tube down my throat.

Strangely, ive never really OD'd on opioids (none requiring hospitalization), which is strange because I abused opioids for many years at obscene doses.
 
Actually when i overdosed so bad on opiods and benzo i had to be ressurected and woke up in the hospital i became more careful afterwards. Mainly becasue it hurt friends and family the most and becasue it was fucking embarrising. Personally i didnt feel shit..
 
I think for many opioid users, far from not caring about life, opioids are how they deal with life.

I suppose it depends a lot on your perspective. For a long time I put myself in dangerous situations involving drugs because I just didn't care. I think in many instances it wasn't that I wanted to die. I just wasn't worrying about it one way or the other.

That said I never had any serious drug overdoses that weren't deliberate. Fortunately where I live historically unknowing fentanyl adulteration has not been a problem.
 
negrogesic said:
I accidentally OD'd on etaqualone (a barbiturate like compound related closely to methaqualone).

I was in my bathroom smoking etaqualone, next thing I know I wake up days later in an ICU with a tube down my throat.

Strangely, ive never really OD'd on opioids (none requiring hospitalization), which is strange because I abused opioids for many years at obscene doses.
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Any idea on dosage? I like the stuff but have heard of people having really unexpected OD’s on it.

-GC
 
Around 500mg+ its hard to say, this was maybe 8 years ago). I had taken benzos (a regular dose for me at the time which was probably high).

Apparently i had to be resuscitated numerous times and they were unsure if i was going to regain consciousness, and if I were to, they were unsure if id retain cognitive function. When they brought me in i had a respiration rate of 1x per minute so they figured that if i woke up id have brain damage.

What i woke up to was a tube down my throat, and gagging i attempted to pull it out. Everyone seemed to think it was a suicide attempt rather than an accidental OD but this wasn't the case.

Tricky stuff, and i had some experience with barbs at the time. It was entirely unexpected. Much unlikely when i used to shoot entire 100ug/hr fentanyl patches which contain around 17mg of fentanyl, where I wouldn't have been that suprised if i had OD'd. The mediocre high isnt worth it, carisprodol isnt much less exciting to be honest.
 
...The answer is in the title lol, drug overdoses, most of the time are accidental so its nothing to do with not liking life or caring about life or anything its accidental meaning it wasn't intentional meaning their is not motive or leading factors except for miscalculation.

I overdosed once with my mum in the next room but came to flat on my back(like you would be laying if you were in a coffin)quickly shot up and realised I didn't remember collapsing or even passing out I just remember walking in the kitchen casually then I was just their on the floor very weird and unsettling actually now I think about it which I haven't until now their is not memory at all between me walking in and feeling fine and waking up on the floor and on my back I remember feeling the back of my head and it didn't hurt so I couldn't of just fell or collapsed because I would have felt an injury or pain from the fall and considering I was flat on my back and my head was perfectly flat as well(on the hard stone floor)their is no way I collapsed so my theory for that one is that the pills I took had peeked and I was probably so high and floaty and tired because before this I had been up for 2+night on mephedrone in fact I think most of my mates were still out there somewhere still going at it they didnt take opiates no one I knew did except for me so I was extra tired probably so I probably bent down on the floor for some reason and then felt really comfy so decided to lay down why I layed flat on my back though is puzzling because I lay on my side curled up in a ball usually a bit like a cat lol or I spread out as much as possible I wish I knew exactly what happened that night but I will never unless I somehow unlock that 20 second part of my memory. Good times.
 
if cocaine would do me the courtesy of not being such delicious brain candy, then i'd have no problems
 
I came very close to death from an oxy OD. Honestly it was just pure self-destructive behaviour. I knew exactly what I was doing. Mixing multiple benzos and DHC with large doses of oxy. I wasn't tryna die, but I was depressed deep down and just trying to bury it. In the moment I really didn't care about the consequences.

Once I could feel myself stop breathing reality hit me. I couldn't breathe unless I consciously forced myself to. I looked in the mirror and was white as a ghost. I took stims to keep myself awake and return my breathing back to normal and came out the other end. Then I quit the oxy.

And I'm now glad I didn't die because my life has improved a lot since then.
 
TRTCure said:
Well IDK why I've overdosed so many times.. I like to think I'm cautious, I know these days with fentanyl there's really kind of no true way to know what you're taking.

I just don't know why I've died so many times and still it doesn't really scare me off to think of going back and trying to do it again successfully
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For me- it started off as fun. I had trauma and my problems but honestly, I wasn’t trying to “hide” them as I’ve grown accustom to them and tamed them before my introduction to oxy. I loved the feeling and never wanted it to stop. Now, 8 years later, after deaths, breakups, losing people because they won’t be friends with a drug user, being lambasted by my parents; I get sober and think, fuck it, I’m so deep in the proverbial hole, and even though I’m tired of it, I’m THAT much more scared to start feeling all over again. It took me years to battle my demons pre-drugs, and now everything is a fresh demon in my mind.

I’ve overdosed over 20 times (not dick-sizing, just pointing out how sick we become) once was right before a thanksgiving and I was in a coma with hypothermia for 3 days. I shouldn’t be alive. I was found hours after I shot up. And even with all these overdoses, my mind would rather hide in the heroin shack than face life on its own terms like I used to be able to do.

We forget how to regulate ourselves/ our emotions on drugs.
 
I've overdosed on heroin requiring narcan I'd say close to 10 times and I had a bad GHB OD along with ODs from a few other drugs.
I think there's many reasons but for me at least with heroin I guess I don't give a fuck and each overdose has become less traumatic. The first times I woke up hysterical, crying and apologising. Then a few times I just got really angry and now it's just another day when it happens.

It's always when I've come off maintenance or come out of detox when I drop. And since I've stopped the benzos it doesn't happen anymore.
Good luck!
 
I love life and have plenty to live for but every time a jack a shot of something I think “this might kill me or it might blow my mind” and I don’t seem to care about the risk in that moment. I think the fact I only jack stimulants makes me braver/more risk-taking. I’d be terrified of just nodding off into the hereafter while unconscious and woulod not risk shooting opiates for that reason (though I tried once or twice and hated it - especially as that once was an OD)
 
KETAMAN- GHB is also the only other drug I would consider I overdosed on. Except Tylenol but I was getting set up and it was eat em or sit for em.
 
Why should I? My life's already fucked anyway
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 
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