PED experiment for increasing work capacity and thus wage by 60% ish

Working_Class

Working_Class

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
513
So this is the seed for what will be a detailed journal of a 3 1/2 month work term, during which time I'll be traveling to another city to drywall some of 14, 60 unit wood frame buildings.

I've assembled a crew of 3 men including myself, we will be going up on March 4th 2021, and not coming back until we're done around the end of June 2021.

The usual pay, is 35 an hour, 8 hours a day (80 hrs a cheque). This equates to an earnings of $2800 per cheque, plus GST and WCB.

The big contract out of town will be 66 hours per week, so 132 hours per cheque, or $4620 per cheque. It's very easy to see that the wage increases by about 60%, however the caveat is; no overtime, no LOA. Straight time at 35 an hour, 11 hour days to comply with noise bylaw. So as I'm sure most of you have guessed by now, drug use will be a part of this journey.

We have purchased winter tires, a snow shovel for digging out of snow banks (job is in the rockey mountains), winter attire, lots and lots of tools, and a mindfully selected assortment of medications and drugs, to help propel me through a double workload before I leave the trade entirely before College begins for me in late August.

The main course (drugwise), has been sought after by myself, from medical sources. I have been perscribed;

-80 mg per week of Testosterone Cipionate
Every day injections of 11 - 12 mg

-Dexadrine sulfate at 10 mg per day, but I prefer 5 mg doses as they don't get me so amped.

The extra curricular drugs are;

-Anadrol at about 12.5 mg per day, one week on one week off ish. Just for some extra androgens and increased recovery potential (this is a super low dose)

- Etizolam at about 1 mg per day

-Phenibut ar about 2.5 g per dose rotating schedule. Usually 2 days off between doses

-Some leftover Kratom and Phenylpricetam. Again low doses are preferred, say 2.5 g Kratom per dose, and about 110 mg Phenylpricetam per dose

-A bag of magic mushrooms for microdosing. Probz 0.2 - 0.3 g doses

-A few hits of 1P-LSD taken in 5ths

-4-AcO-DMT (again, just a bit for micro doses) - 7 mg insufflated is usually good

-High CBD weed (with low THC) and some edible high potency chocolates

-Some decongestant because I'm allergic to dust and I get stuffed up regularly

-Oxaceperal - An RC anti inflammatory

-Low dose asprin - blood thinner

And a few other things.

I'll be getting blood work done at 4- 6 weeks on TRT, and I requested more like 100 mg per week, but the doctor didn't seem receptive to the idea of me being supraphysiological, so I've sprinkled in a little magic to keep my anabolism at a point where I feel the $1500 cost of getting TRT therapy was worth it. I didn't pay almost 2 grand to be physiological, lets be clear on that.

Aside from the drugs, I have an array of tools, food equipment, extra mini fridge, electronics for book keeping etc, and I'll be documenting as much of the journey as possible. One of the drugs are legitimate, perscribed for a physiological deficit, which is Dexadrine for ADHD. But I can't use that drug daily or I get run down, so I've opted to rotate a bunch of different psychedelics and gabaergics through, with days off to help me get through this.

It's 11 hours a day, 6 days a week of hard labor. May the stars guide my hand, and let luck be on my side. This is going to be the longest, most intense bout of "out of town" with the lowest financial remittance (no overtime, no living allowance) that I've ever taken. But the money is there, I just have to be a man about it and take the right amount of drugs to keep me producing a quantity of work at a quality that exceeds my peers capabilities. This is a mission for self cultivation, for money for college, and for drug induced enhancement. This is as much for money, as it is for science, and hedonistic manipulation of my quality of life.

If worked in town, my projected earnings before tax, expenses and GST would have been $19600

If things go to the "T" out at this job, it'll pay $32340

Pretty well an extra 12 grand. $8500 of which I'm sure will be taxes, and another portion will be expenses. But it's worth it, for life experience, and to leave a door open behind me, should I ever need a large amount of money quickly, it's a good thing to make a back up plan for money. Money sucks, but this is securing my financial future with one of many ways to make a lot of money, legally, and quickly. Albeit back breaking.

Yes, it could be done without the drugs. But it would be MUCH less fun. Let the games begin, we're leaving on the 4th, day 1 is the 5th of March. Let's get that cheddar!
 
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That's a pretty amusing stack I must say, especially the inclusion of multiple hallucinogens, which for sure might make for a more fun time but otherwise are of pretty dubious benefit, it seems to me.

IMO, you're stacking too much, even cycling. Etizolam and phenibut, AND kratom? You're just asking to make some kind of error of judgement with dosing one day and then feeling shitty and out of sorts the next. I'd honestly just chuck kratom but I'm biased after getting addicted to it, but still, fuck that shit. Phenylpiracetam you're gonna be able to use so rarely coz of the steep tolerance curve... honestly I think you're just making it too complicated. If I had to do hard manual labour for a limited time and planned to augment with substances I'd keep it as simple as possible. Just take a stimulant and a sleep aid.

Etizolam and dexedrine, for example, although I just read you said you can't use dexedrine too many days in a row... maybe just don't then, take days off? Although if you're prescribed it, I would think you were supposed to take it almost every day, if not maybe your maintenance dose is too high. Either way I'd say just keep it simple, trying to cycle a complex array of uppers, downers, and psychedelic appetisers while doing hard labour for days on end does not sound like much fun to me, and at worst is surely some kind of accident waiting to happen.
 
Why not just microdose mushrooms/LSD and do a basic gear cycle, say, 150mg of Test E weekly? In my opinion you don't need to complicate things and you'll have so many variables there it will be difficult to pinpoint what is causing what, when, how and why.

Also if you're deciding to pin 80mg of testosterone you will eventually shut down your own supply because your body will know when you're getting hormones from a source other than itself. So you'll shutdown and now you're only on 80mg which is actually less than the average male produces a week by about 20-50mg depending on the male. 100-150mg is the amount the average male produces weekly, you'll be on 80mg and to make things worse you will be shutting down natural production in order to put in less. Self sabotage waiting to happen. If you're going to go on the gear you can't microdose. It doesn't work like that. You're talking about interfering with hormones in your body and how they are produced and regulated. It's not like with mushrooms where the active effects just involve brain chemistry, perhaps to a small degree other things too. You're talking about your bodys natural production of something that is the foundation for your entire biology. So be careful with this. When you're involving anabolic steroids, it's either your in completely or you stay well away.

You really don't need anadrol either. It's commonly taken orally and induces water retention, things like bloat and it affects your cardiovascular system too. It's not a steroid you want to be doing super productive things with because, well, you won't be able to get much done when you're putting extra stress on your body with a powerful steroid like anadrol. It's used for bulking in bodybuilding because it's really effective at helping you gain mass, and not necessarily lean body mass either. Powerlifters use it for gaining bulk and quick gains in strength which happens because of it's androgenic/anabolic ratio. It's not something you want to be taking if you're planning on being super active and working super hard, unless it's in the gym and unless you're not moving around that much. Sure a low dose will be better but again you can't microdose steroids. It doesn't work. If you're going to use steroids I'd stick ones that are light on you and have the least side effects. Anadrol is a steroid that doesn't come into the light category nor does it come in with the least side effects.

My suggestions would be a simple test base course. Something like Test E or Test C. Test C has the longer ester which means you can get away with more time in between injections, around 8 days or so. Just stick to that at around 150mg a week so you're somewhere between average and optimal ranges. 150mg will put you at the higher end of the average males production levels which in this low T induced world thanks to all the shit people eat and their lifestyle choices and because of other political agendas *cough* is a good thing. You probably might be able to budge up to 200mg at a push but you probably will notice the extra 'weight' on your body. I always notice anything about 200mg+. I run slower, my heart beats faster while doing less, I get tired more easily, my endurance reduces etc. If you want to throw in orals try something light on you like anavar. Anavar will give you a kick for a short period of time. It's in and it's out and less taxing on your body. It's a favourite among women because of it's low side effects and so if women can take it and not mess their bodies up then it says a lot about the benefits for men too. I mean I guess you could add something like NPP into the mix. That's like deca but without the water weight. It will BLOW YOU UP but you'll stay relatively light and chiselled. I wouldn't overcomplicate things though with this. A simple test base will be more than enough and if you need a kick just drop an anavar 30-60 minutes before whatever it is you are doing and you'll sure as shit notice the difference.

And holy shit I've just read you're going to do daily injections of Test C? I didn't notice that before. Test cyp is the longest acting ester available so why are you doing daily injections? You need daily injections for things like test prop, not test cyp. You'll waste your gear and waste your time doing it like that. You could either do 75-80mg every 3 days or do 150mg every 7 days. You want to keep your bloods stable and so ideally do it every 3 days. It's not healthy for your body to be going on a rollercoaster coming up and then down. Stable levels mean you'll get what you want out of them, your mood will be stable, as will your health in general. You'll just feel miles better this way. Whatever you do, DO NOT inject Test cyp everyday. It's pointless.

I assume you've researched psychedelic microdosing? Just because it's microdosing doesn't mean you shouldn't take it seriously. It also doesn't mean you won't get side effects, some perhaps unwanted. It's a complex topic that requires extensive research beforehand just like anabolic steroids. I researched for almost a year before taking steroids. And it pays off, trust me.

Be careful.
 
Wow, for you, 7mg of 4-Aco-DMT is microdose! Last time i took 4-Aco-DMT, I was tripping balls with 8mg.

If you want my advice, if you're young and healthy, get in shape before going there. Motivation, good food and good sleep are enough to go throught this. In my early years in forestry and in the heavy industry, I was doing 60-100 hours per week all year long without taking any drugs.
 
As was mentioned: good food, good rest, and maybe some caffeine. I worked 60-70hr weeks with 0 drugs and even still made time for the gym 3 days a week doing hard labor on a production line (building parts for train cars, weighing 50-100lbs each). It ain't fun, buts it's doable without putting your body through chemical warfare.
 
Also I gotta ask the legality of your gig. A job with no overtime? That definitely violates labor laws here in the states.
 
Serotonin101 said:
Also I gotta ask the legality of your gig. A job with no overtime? That definitely violates labor laws here in the states.
Click to expand...

Actually not so much... please allow me to explain:

Employees can be exempted from overtime in certain conditions. One of the considerations is the pay scale: that is if the pay is 1.5 times the minimum wage, which at $35.00 an hour is a possibility. The fact that they are working solid 11 hours each and every day for a fixed contract time means they are factoring "overtime" in, but not allowing for overrun possibilities. It sounds like this is an "independent contractor" situation. I've done jobs like this in the past and they can be legal. They are basically paying above scale wages over the entire work day to avoid overrun cost. The actual employer was the U S Government, BTW. If you enter the agreement with your eyes open and the ability to fulfill the agreement it can be a good deal.
 
Cheshire_Kat said:
Actually not so much... please allow me to explain:

Employees can be exempted from overtime in certain conditions. One of the considerations is the pay scale: that is if the pay is 1.5 times the minimum wage, which at $35.00 an hour is a possibility. The fact that they are working solid 11 hours each and every day for a fixed contract time means they are factoring "overtime" in, but not allowing for overrun possibilities. It sounds like this is an "independent contractor" situation. I've done jobs like this in the past and they can be legal. They are basically paying above scale wages over the entire work day to avoid overrun cost. The actual employer was the U S Government, BTW. If you enter the agreement with your eyes open and the ability to fulfill the agreement it can be a good deal.
Click to expand...
Ah gotcha. I forget all the things about independent contractors. I know there are some exempt jobs (some I really don't agree with) but didn't know this.
 
This is very inventive but unless these people are used to taking that many drugs, they will be fucked up. Test and caffeine is all you need. Maybe dexedrine if you're nuts. All the other shit will make you sweaty, sloppy, and fatigued.
 
I haven't had time to update this, or read any of the comments because the time crunch out here is intense.

But so far, I've ran out of Kratom which is whatever, and I've been taking between 5 - 10 mg of dexadrine and between 2 - 3 g of phenibut on work days. Sunday is our only day off.

I've gained a little bit of definition
, but the work is so aerobic that I can't see much chance in gaining much more muscle mass without upping the AAS dose.

Been on 11 mg daily testosterone propinate for about 4 weeks and 12.5 mg of anadrol daily. I feel physically pretty decent, we started rolling with $4000+ invoices last invoice, so the money is coming in. And we've pushed out another board crew and all the other trades have had to bring in extra man power to keep up with our production level.

We've even had the foreman try to slow us down by putting us on the mechanical room with penetrations through many sheets, double layer 5/8 fireguard everywhere, and We've also been insulting a bit and doing a lot of sound bar. So far, me and the 2 guys I brought have been the highest quality tradesmen on site. The difference is pretty stark when looking at the other guy's work. There's a piece work crew beside us that's pretty on par and that's about it for this update. Oh, and we started units yesterday. We've been on fire dampers and hallways for a while. Nice to get in some actual units.

Tomorrow is week 4 of 14. This is going to be a long journey, but we should come out with about 27 grand each. And the company loves us, we've been a force on site, blasting ODB and calling eachother contemptible names and joking about inappropriate work topics at high volume to scare away anyone in the vicinity. Onwards and upwards.

Also, there's a poo story that I have to share. Here it is;

We drove past the ABC Country restaurant when we were on our way to get pancakes on Sunday because there was a guy spraying diharehha behind his truck out back. We pulled away and had to pull over and process what we just saw. Traumatic, more so for us, but also probably for this guy.

Out back, pants down around the ankles, ass cheeks spread, trajectory pointed as optimal to clear his trousers with a grimace on his face and one hand on the back of his truck. We literally just came to the restaurant and there was the side parking, and I said fuck it and drove around back because I like having more parking space. We caught the ultimate moment of ejection. His shit erupted from his anus with the force of a tomahawk missile and sprayed all over the pavement. He had this face of utter helplessness and a grimace to end all shame.

We went to Smitties instead, and we weren't very hungry after that hahaha
 
Respect due. That is bigtime drug selection especially the 4 acodmt to revive the inner spirit 😀
 
I did a quarter tab on Friday and it didn't hit like it does in town. The lack of quality sleep is a huge factor, the intensity of the work and all these other factors pretty much have me just on the anabolics and I've decided to stick with escalating doses of Dexadrine over the 6 day work week, (day 1+2 5 mg, days 3+4 10 mg, days 5+6 15 mg) with about 1 - 2 mg of etizolam at night. Phenibut at about 1 - 3 grams a day depending on how I feel.

I'm definitely not new to anabolics. I had a 10 year career in strength sports and this is the lowest dose I've ever administered, and I had 2 years off just before this. So it's been a nice return under Dr. Supervision. My next blood work is in a week or so. That'll be interesting.

Only 10 weeks left, today is the Sunday off so I'm going for groceries, doing some paperwork and getting some rest. 5 more invoices between now and the last day, and it'll be about 20 grand if we keep everything just as it is.

The work has been great, this is a huge learning opportunity. It's my first time being on a large multi building project without a journeyman, I don't fully consider myself a journeyman, but I fit right into the upper echelon of the best guys in the company with the 3 other guys I came up with. We've been cranking out lots of fire rating and soundbar. Whatever needs doing, we just get after it from sun up to sun down.

Restrictions have closed down most amenities like the gym and the breakfast places, so we're just staying in aside from groceries and getting our stuff done in the room.

10 more weeks. It's been a great time so far, being unapologetic drywallers listening to old dirty bastard and calling eachother names that just wouldn't fly anywhere else. It's the end of an Era is what this feels like. I'll be glad to put it down and lay it to rest as of June.

Projection is still about 27 - 28 grand in the work term.

8 of which will be tax
About 4 will be rent
Another 2 will be expenses and cost of living. Should come out clean with something like half of it. Ballpark 15 - 17 grand
 
Just got back to the motel, and there's a few police vehicles out front as they search through a local dealer's hideout.

We're guessing it was a little meth dealing operation, the people coming in and out were very characteristic of "the type". Having been into the wonderful world of meth and opiates myself, I'm going to guess it was one or the other, or both. How exciting.
 
Myself and the other 2 guys finally got put on units today, so for the first time in the last month, we're working together. We're flying along pounding out number 115, and the loader operator hit a natural gas line.

Whole site has evacuated and we're waiting for hydro and fire department to cap or crimp the line.

Also very exciting. This has been a weird work trip so far.
 
So it's June 27th today and I haven't updated anything in a while. I hit the burnout wall quite a few weeks ago and I've just been surviving trying to get through this. I pretty much dropped my drug usage down to just topping out at 15 mg dexedrine at the high-end and averaging about 7.5 mg, mixing with phenibut at about 2 to 2.5 g. I got an 8-ball of decent ketamine probably about 3 weeks ago and I've been going pretty hard on that almost every day after work. For me, that means around 100 - 150 ish mg, mixed with the regular 2 - 4 beers and a mg of etizolam just before bed, which I know is a pretty dangerous mix, but my body is pretty conditioned to it. It's a daily dose regimen for me.

I've also dropped the 12.5 mg anadrol because with my lifestyle, it's useless and just a burdon on the body's systems of elimination, with all the recreational drugs, it's more of a detriment than an advantage. I'm still keeping the daily 11 mg of testosterone cipionate in there, just biding my time to the end to where I can manage to stay sober for a good chunk of time, which will be much easier since I won't hate my life anymore.

I had dropped weight at the last out of Town job where I was staying at a motel, eating situation was horrible the living situations horrible and the working situation was horrible. So with the better living situation I have managed to put on about 5 lb.

I'm taking the odd day off ketamine, weed and booze, I have every Sunday off so I don't drink or do any drugs on Sunday. It is my only sober day of the week, and I think that's because I hate my job so much, that I can't stay sober on a work day. Just can't happen with how much this job causes me mental emotional and physical stress. I would be planning my suicide if this was my future.

The working situation has changed, I got sent to a different city which is a much better living situation for me but the temperature has gotten so high that working an 11-hour day is just about in the danger zone because of how hot it is. Peaking around 36°C, plus lots of reflected light off of shiny steel and dense glass. The dense gets fucking itchy with the sweat. Everything sticks to you and the fibers get right into every possible crevice of my gear. It's like a special kind of paid torture, and the labor is an every day, all day grind.

My typical gear is a thick black pair of Carhartt work pants, work boots, gloves, long sleeve shirt with a hood, hard hat, safety glasses, respirator, tool belt and fall arrest harness and sometimes knee pads, so it gets fucking hot even on a regular temperature day. I have one week left and I'm free. This round will have netted me about 20 grand which I'll be be putting all of into my TFSA to avoid taxes on that last 20, which will save me about 6 grand in federal taxes.

I'm developing a pretty severe limp because there's this pad of built-up dead skin on my right foot right on the ball of the foot, it's pretty easy to see the wear pattern on the bottom of my boots, there's much more rubber worn off on the right boot versus the left boot. I pivot hard on my right foot quite often, so I'm pretty sure that is what's causing me all the pain, but my movement patterns are what are causing the callous. I'm also developing a bit of a limp on my left side because my left leg is compensating for all the pain that's happening on the right foot. So the avoidance patterns are starting to show up as chronic pain in the joints. Back pain is pretty steady but it's fairly manageable which is surprising, traditionally my back pain is with cripples me but lately it's just been this foot and knee pain and then I have some pain that shoots right from both elbows into both middle fingers and it feels like I'm getting arthritis in both middle fingers, right at the proximal knuckle on both sides. The pain is fairly symmetrical which is interesting. My body issues usually show up unilaterally however in this case for the upper body it seems to be a symmetrical pattern. Also there's another interesting Sensation that keeps on cropping up and this is deep inside the body, it feels like there is a tow strap cinched down inside my skull that extends into the inside of my neck and wraps around my spinal cord. It feels like somebody is grabbing all of my meninges and plugging it into a man bun at the back of my head. It's an emotionally related tension of the viscera. I mean this can't be proved by anything but it's how I'm feeling my body. I've been trying to use up some of my insurance so I've been booking massages on Sunday and Osteo on Wednesdays and both of them helped quite a bit. That tension and pain usually subsides after a treatment, and I get to use up some of my insurance which I am paying a premium for, so I'm pretty happy to be getting some value out of it. I'm pretty confident in that all of these strange Sensations are going to subside once I'm out of this occupation and no longer experiencing the same kind of physical and emotional and chemical stresses that I have been being subjected to on a daily basis. Or rather subjecting myself to, as all this is voluntary masochism for money.

So I'll have absolutely nailed my dollar targets for college, and I will be able to take about a month and a half off of work. I have a couple of small jobs to drywall whenever I want in between that time off. They won't be very substantial so it'll be more of a fun thing then a hard thing. It's quite surreal to even be this close to leaving the trade for good. I really did think I was going to die doing this occupation, I'm super glad to be so close to the end if I can survive the next 7 days, I'll have won the game.

Also I guess a little bit of an update as to what is going on with all that psychedelic stuff that I brought, I'm just not in the headspace at all to even do a microdose. The type of drug choice I've been leaning towards has been more of a body and mind numbing detachment kind of goal. I don't want to feel my feelings and I don't want to be where I am, so I definitely don't want to have any extra sensory perception because that would just tune me in further to the sensations I'm trying to ignore. I can't wait to enjoy feeling the sensations of everyday life again, I've hated my life for so long it's been such a toxic experience, I really think this has been a transformative experience, somewhat of a rite of passage. Trial by fire and all that.

I'm so thankful to have had the opportunities that have been given to me, but I have not been handed anything for free, I have fought tooth and nail, blood piss and shit all 1000 miles.
 
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Working_Class said:
So it's June 27th today and I haven't updated anything in a while. I hit the burnout wall quite a few weeks ago and I've just been surviving trying to get through this. I pretty much dropped my drug usage down to just topping out at 15 mg dexedrine at the high-end and averaging about 7.5 mg, mixing with phenibut at about 2 to 2.5 g. I got an 8-ball of decent ketamine probably about 3 weeks ago and I've been going pretty hard on that almost every day after work. For me, that means around 100 - 150 ish mg, mixed with the regular 2 - 4 beers and a mg of etizolam just before bed, which I know is a pretty dangerous mix, but my body is pretty conditioned to it. It's a daily dose regimen for me.

I've also dropped the 12.5 mg anadrol because with my lifestyle, it's useless and just a burdon on the body's systems of elimination, with all the recreational drugs, it's more of a detriment than an advantage. I'm still keeping the daily 11 mg of testosterone cipionate in there, just biding my time to the end to where I can manage to stay sober for a good chunk of time, which will be much easier since I won't hate my life anymore.

I had dropped weight at the last out of Town job where I was staying at a motel, eating situation was horrible the living situations horrible and the working situation was horrible. So with the better living situation I have managed to put on about 5 lb.

I'm taking the odd day off ketamine, weed and booze, I have every Sunday off so I don't drink or do any drugs on Sunday. It is my only sober day of the week, and I think that's because I hate my job so much, that I can't stay sober on a work day. Just can't happen with how much this job causes me mental emotional and physical stress. I would be planning my suicide if this was my future.

The working situation has changed, I got sent to a different city which is a much better living situation for me but the temperature has gotten so high that working an 11-hour day is just about in the danger zone because of how hot it is. Peaking around 36°C, plus lots of reflected light off of shiny steel and dense glass. The dense gets fucking itchy with the sweat. Everything sticks to you and the fibers get right into every possible crevice of my gear. It's like a special kind of paid torture, and the labor is an every day, all day grind.

My typical gear is a thick black pair of Carhartt work pants, work boots, gloves, long sleeve shirt with a hood, hard hat, safety glasses, respirator, tool belt and fall arrest harness and sometimes knee pads, so it gets fucking hot even on a regular temperature day. I have one week left and I'm free. This round will have netted me about 20 grand which I'll be be putting all of into my TFSA to avoid taxes on that last 20, which will save me about 6 grand in federal taxes.

I'm developing a pretty severe limp because there's this pad of built-up dead skin on my right foot right on the ball of the foot, it's pretty easy to see the wear pattern on the bottom of my boots, there's much more rubber worn off on the right boot versus the left boot. I pivot hard on my right foot quite often, so I'm pretty sure that is what's causing me all the pain, but my movement patterns are what are causing the callous. I'm also developing a bit of a limp on my left side because my left leg is compensating for all the pain that's happening on the right foot. So the avoidance patterns are starting to show up as chronic pain in the joints. Back pain is pretty steady but it's fairly manageable which is surprising, traditionally my back pain is with cripples me but lately it's just been this foot and knee pain and then I have some pain that shoots right from both elbows into both middle fingers and it feels like I'm getting arthritis in both middle fingers, right at the proximal knuckle on both sides. The pain is fairly symmetrical which is interesting. My body issues usually show up unilaterally however in this case for the upper body it seems to be a symmetrical pattern. Also there's another interesting Sensation that keeps on cropping up and this is deep inside the body, it feels like there is a tow strap cinched down inside my skull that extends into the inside of my neck and wraps around my spinal cord. It feels like somebody is grabbing all of my meninges and plugging it into a man bun at the back of my head. It's an emotionally related tension of the viscera. I mean this can't be proved by anything but it's how I'm feeling my body. I've been trying to use up some of my insurance so I've been booking massages on Sunday and Osteo on Wednesdays and both of them helped quite a bit. That tension and pain usually subsides after a treatment, and I get to use up some of my insurance which I am paying a premium for, so I'm pretty happy to be getting some value out of it. I'm pretty confident in that all of these strange Sensations are going to subside once I'm out of this occupation and no longer experiencing the same kind of physical and emotional and chemical stresses that I have been being subjected to on a daily basis. Or rather subjecting myself to, as all this is voluntary masochism for money.

So I'll have absolutely nailed my dollar targets for college, and I will be able to take about a month and a half off of work. I have a couple of small jobs to drywall whenever I want in between that time off. They won't be very substantial so it'll be more of a fun thing then a hard thing. It's quite surreal to even be this close to leaving the trade for good. I really did think I was going to die doing this occupation, I'm super glad to be so close to the end if I can survive the next 7 days, I'll have won the game.

Also I guess a little bit of an update as to what is going on with all that psychedelic stuff that I brought, I'm just not in the headspace at all to even do a microdose. The type of drug choice I've been leaning towards has been more of a body and mind numbing detachment kind of goal. I don't want to feel my feelings and I don't want to be where I am, so I definitely don't want to have any extra sensory perception because that would just tune me in further to the sensations I'm trying to ignore. I can't wait to enjoy feeling the sensations of everyday life again, I've hated my life for so long it's been such a toxic experience, I really think this has been a transformative experience, somewhat of a rite of passage. Trial by fire and all that.

I'm so thankful to have had the opportunities that have been given to me, but I have not been handed anything for free, I have fought tooth and nail, blood piss and shit all 1000 mileRe
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Respect man... I've done Hvac-r since 2006 and I've reached a point where I've stacked some cash and am DONE working for other people. It's honestly not the back breaking labor that kills me but expecting to have to kiss ass, be a business man, care about numbers and fluff little peoples egos on top of breaking my back. I'm carrying 100 pounds up a ladder, leave me TF alone. There's ALWAYS a way to improve your situation and get out and big up for throwing down and taking care of business. What field do you plan to go into if you don't mind me asking? I'm sorry but that's bull fucking shit they expect you to work those kind of hours with no OT pay... Just not right. Speaking up about that type of injustice and being unable to compromise on criminal shit is what's caused me the most trouble at any position I've ever had. Moral right fucks there greed or ambition in the ass IMO. Congrats man! You're gonna feel way better when you pull into your own driveway.
 
Thank you so much, it has been an absolute fucking nightmare to say the least. I can really empathize with what you've gone through, it really does change your whole world view when you get ran into the ground like that. Once you climb out, everything looks easy. I've actually been out of work now for something like 17 days and I'm just sort of coming back to normal but I have a new issue and it is partly from work, calcified tendinopathy in the right shoulder from pounding screws and lifting sheets for the last 15 ish years. I'm either going to need surgery or I'm going to need a lot of therapy to get it fixed but it's fucking serious. 11 out of 10 pain, but I suppose this is an issue for another thread, because I'm going to request some kind of an opiate so that I can endure Shockwave therapy for something like 6 - 10 weeks, and if it doesn't provide some substantial results I'm going to have to resort to getting under the knife again. Also the pain is so severe I haven't been able to find a comfortable position to lay down in so that I can get some sleep. It's been like this maybe for like the last four days, and of all things that aggravated it, it was just going back to the gym and starting to train and take care of my body again. Hit some strict log press at 180 lbs x 5, and some front, side and rear laterals with 20's. About 9 hours later, it started creeping up, woke me up that night, and continued to progress with loss of range of motion and swelling. The remnants of what I used to do still cast a shadow in the fibrous net of my body, but I mean that's all of us I guess. If you ever worked your ass to the bone, you have scars and problems from it.



And I feel like my change of career choice was quite appropriate, I'm going to become a massage therapist. With all of the experiences I've had in my life with injuries and competitive sports and overuse issues, poor posture etc etc, I think it's going to be a solid choice because I have so much experience with all of these things in my own body. So I already have about 15 years of experience. 2 years of school is just going to solidify all the bits and pieces of information I've soaked up from all of The Rehabilitation and pain management and performance enhancement that I've dabbled in over the years. Physiology, philosophy, pharmacology, small business, hands-on experience, and just plain raw determination. I think it's going to serve me quite well in the trade.

School was supposed to start August 30th but I think with this resurfacing shoulder issue I'm going to have to push it back to the end of December or the beginning of January. I really do need a couple months to just take care of my mind and body, practice being sober and read some books play some video games and put my feet back on the ground. Feel like everybody needs some of that sometimes. Life is a fucking meat grinder, you gotta stop and smell the roses once in awhile.

When I do my taxes, I'll calculate just how much I made and what the expenses were, but I think it was in the ballpark of $32000 in 4 horrible months. I hope to never have to do that again
 
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