• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest Posting RulesBluelight Rules
  • PD Moderators: Cream Gravy? | Transform | Vastness | Xorkoth
  • Bluelight HOT THREADS
  • Let's Welcome Our NEW MEMBERS!

PD Social Tripping Thread: Euphoric Rambles for Swirling Souls

TheAppleCore

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
5,490
^ I am stoned enough to giggle at that joke.

You know that feeling when your body and mind feel so right, balanced, almost to the point of boredom but ultimately buzzing and satisfied with the vibe? Yeah, that when I feel I am ready for a good hard trip and get the most out of it. Manifest!
Whatcha gonna take? :)

Balanced to the point of boredom... yeah. I've definitely had times in my life of reaching a climax of achievement -- a resolution to a problem which had been tormenting me mercilessly, or the completion of a large-scale project -- and after a brief period of blissful pride, I'm like, "...well... now what?"

The end of my efforts usually feels fairly cheap and meaningless for me, which really highlights the fact that the joy is in the hunt itself, not the prize; and hence the importance of being rooted in the present.

And, conveniently enough, if I'm not having fun with whatever I'm doing, I'm likely going to do a crappy job anyway.
 

Solipsis

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
15,552
Location
NL
Ha I'm like that too TAC, and have also completed a big project - what is yours like?

I'm moving on to making a ceiling lamp that I designed and I have loads of graphics to finish... also piano works that I would like to turn into a nice Nils Frahm / Jon Hopkins-ish production but who has the time man.. was a bit bummed out this week not taking any dexamphetamine but I'm starting again tomorrow for some fuel on the fire xD
I got new insurance that completely covers it and it seems like the mailman is dumping quite a load of dexamph on my mat much more often than I can use it, I am not complaining =D
Made some money with some chores... easy

Will wait for some serious tripping or anything roll-like (MDA for instance) until I have more uninterrupted time.. had some 3-MeO which was kind of good but also kind of shitty though I was having a bad mindset for part of the day.
I have already decided that if I get admitted to start my study I will prelude it with mescaline <3

lol swilow i love you man, sharing the 3-meo vibes, you're freaky deaky
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
41,060
Location
Looking-Glass Land
i'm first hand proof of what happens when you get bogged down by the journey and stop enjoying it. A Bluelighter shared this with me recently.



I went to to an Ivy league grad school, worked my ass off for 3 years to the point where I couldn't push any further. Quit, did other stuff, found no joy in it, had an epiphany, returned to finish my doctorate, went at it for 4 years. Published seven papers, so despite being dysfunctional my boss didn't let me go. My adviser finally let me write my thesis after I cried in front of her and begged her to let me move on. She did and I cracked. Worse kind of writers block. For six months I struggeled to pump out 1.5 chapters, and what I wrote was incoherent and filled with spelling mistakes and I was forced to resign. Shit killed me. All I wanted to do was die. Your words are refreshing TAS. I had to learn how to live. Psychedelics helped me discover the wonder in life again, then they became a trap when I didn't start living again. Never knew how. Still not very good at it, but that's what it took to get my attention. Thanks for posting.
 

TheAppleCore

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
5,490
Ha I'm like that too TAC, and have also completed a big project - what is yours like?
Well the latest project I've been working on is to master my sister's first EP. I've never attempted mastering before, but I've discovered I actually really enjoy it.

I'm moving on to making a ceiling lamp that I designed and I have loads of graphics to finish... also piano works that I would like to turn into a nice Nils Frahm / Jon Hopkins-ish production but who has the time man.. was a bit bummed out this week not taking any dexamphetamine but I'm starting again tomorrow for some fuel on the fire xD
I got new insurance that completely covers it and it seems like the mailman is dumping quite a load of dexamph on my mat much more often than I can use it, I am not complaining =D
I love how your hobbies are so diverse. It's so rewarding to be constantly challenging yourself to tackle new problems, and learn new things. My obsessive personality can make me tend to focus exclusively on one thing, all day every day for weeks or even months at a time. Sometimes an asset, but sometimes it's nice to have a little more variety in life.

had some 3-MeO which was kind of good but also kind of shitty though I was having a bad mindset for part of the day.
3-MeO is almost psychedelic in the sense that it's much more dependent on set and setting than some other dissociatives. If you're not in a good place, it's definitely not a guaranteed good time.


O.K., let me deliver a highly pretentious rant for a sec here. For the last few days I've been ditching you guys to hang out in cannabis-centric forums, because I've been shopping for a new dry herb vaporizer, and I wanted to get some advice. But, Jesus Christ. Stoner culture is so annoying. I mean, it's really not hard to blame people for believing the propaganda that marijuana causes brain damage when these people represent themselves so poorly. First of all, everything surrounding cannabis culture lacks any class whatsoever -- from strain names like "Fruity Pebbles" and "Space Dawg" (I didn't make these up), to the pungent excess of stoner slang bandied about in any cannabis-related discussion. And additionally, there's a really off-putting attitude that a lot of these heavy stoners carry; namely, a sense that "confronting my problems is just too much of a pain, so I'll use pot to sweep them under the carpet and pretend they don't exist".

I don't know if weed causes this personality shift, or if people with these character traits are disproportionately attracted to weed, but it's enough to inspire a certain sense of caution and respect for the plant, and make me question the real medicinal value of my own use.
 

TheAppleCore

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
5,490
I went to to an Ivy league grad school, worked my ass off for 3 years to the point where I couldn't push any further. Quit, did other stuff, found no joy in it, had an epiphany, returned to finish my doctorate, went at it for 4 years. Published seven papers, so despite being dysfunctional my boss didn't let me go. My adviser finally let me write my thesis after I cried in front of her and begged her to let me move on. She did and I cracked. Worse kind of writers block. For six months I struggeled to pump out 1.5 chapters, and what I wrote was incoherent and filled with spelling mistakes and I was forced to resign. Shit killed me. All I wanted to do was die. Your words are refreshing TAS. I had to learn how to live. Psychedelics helped me discover the wonder in life again, then they became a trap when I didn't start living again. Never knew how. Still not very good at it, but that's what it took to get my attention. Thanks for posting.
My condolences, levels; it sounds like you've been through a lot of career frustration. Thanks for sharing. I can empathize to an extent; I'm a college dropout myself, and I've been suffering through a dead-end menial job for years now, trying to pick myself up by teaching myself audio engineering in my spare time. Thankfully my parents are generous enough to help me out with some living expenses, so I get to put most of my extremely meager income toward building a bedroom studio, rather than buying ramen and paying rent. Overall, I live a very isolated life, and a lot of people would call me crazy for turning down the opportunity for higher education that I got, but I'm just not willing to follow the rigid structures of an educational institution.

From my perspective, your struggle to finish grad school sounds like the kind of inner conflict that happens when your mind is pointing you in one direction, but your heart in another. Or, to rephrase, you think you should want to follow the program, but you don't really want to. 2¢.
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
41,060
Location
Looking-Glass Land
Thanks, glad you found something you love. I liked undergrad for the most part and even parts of grad school. Alcohol abuse, perfectionism and low self esteem were my biggest problems as well as poor communication skills. The subject matter was part of it too. Sorry to make this a confessional. I've been happy lately so it isn't one of those hopeless situation type posts. I appreciated your 2 cents, must be bitcoin or something
 

TheAppleCore

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
5,490
I'm curious what you were studying, or what your plans are now, if you wouldn't mind sharing of course?
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
41,060
Location
Looking-Glass Land
^ Physical chemistry with a focus on surface science. My current job is at a software company where have a few roles. I helped setup and have oversight over the Italian subsidiary which just started up and has an employee since I am Italian, I do some patent stuff and oversight and recently they put me on a data analysis project so I get to do a bit of coding again. I was freelance for a couple years and the last year or so I did a lot of dissociatives , read a lot of Bluelight and spiritual books and barely did anything employment wise except a few odd jobs.
 

TheAppleCore

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
5,490
^ Are you reading my mind? O__O


Hey levels, I'm Italian too. Well, 1/4 Italian, amidst a stew of other Western European genes.
 

Solipsis

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
15,552
Location
NL
I think it's one of countless examples of apophenia, reinforced by biased belief systems.

Every tea leaf I ever read just simply read 'tea'.
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
41,060
Location
Looking-Glass Land
different strokes right. Gaze into something, it comes alive and you see something. Don't know what it means? Read up about it. Bunch of weird stuff happens. Persist and experience it. Kinda feels like science. Better than pathologizing it IME.
 

Solipsis

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
15,552
Location
NL
It's not pathological... like with sensory deprivation, if a stimulus is unchanging as with a gaze, your mind starts filling in and projecting - there are plenty of mechanisms behind that like vision being referential (look into purple-red light, then if you look away everything seems green) and the mind needing stimulation to stay healthy and survive. I've had similar phenomena happen plenty of times. It's normal and explains why it would also happen with tea leaves or entrails. What you see isn't random per se but projections of the mind as with psychedelia. Interesting and lots to be learned but I see no reason why there must be more to it. "feels like science"?
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
41,060
Location
Looking-Glass Land
I hear you and very much respect your insights btw, not being dismissive or combative. Not sure how this even came up, and it's been debated to death. In science you use outer instruments to create and formulate an inner experience. In psychological and spiritual work you use inner perceptions to formulate an inner experience. That's what I mean by science, i don't feel there should be a distiction. I don't subscribe to the random perception idea though it can be terribly misused and should most often be kept to oneself. Sorry to derail, swirl on peeps
 

Solipsis

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
15,552
Location
NL
No i didn't mean to be rude or pedantic either, it's just that imo the 'outer instruments' are much less unreliable if you independently want to measure something to be true or not (you can't measure something from inside the system, if you are part of it you influence it and it is always often hard to say where something mental or experienced is coming from). But the outer measuring makes it empirical which is a major distinction. I do value psychological and spiritual work but it's more for finding "personal truths" and not empirical ones. Well truth makes it sound so definitive but science is provisional only and as perfect or imperfect as the method and the presumptions made on previous science, and the bias. For personal experience I like just the mysticism stance: it's valuable as experience or insight - perspective rather than fact.
Anyway, if it's not something you wanted to get into I'll get out of your hair. I would get out of my own hair, if I could.
 

swilow

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 9, 2005
Messages
31,877
Location
Your double slit
The fact that there is a biological "explanation" is fascinating though, too. I like to try and imagine the selective pressures that would give rise to such an "ability", it could tell us something about ourselves and what we were. That's probably more valuable to me than what may be.

Of course, I don't really believe in clairvoyance... But to a deterministic soul, its possible if not practically impossible. But I'm dubious about strict reductionist determinism too. :)
 
Top