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⫸STICKY⫷ PD Social Talk Thread: Pseudo-Philosophical Musings of the Philosophically-Inclined

herbavore

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:( <3 Untimely deaths are so tragic...

My uncle died and I went to the funeral wednesday. He was of a barely 'retired' age and had been handicapped for most of his life. However because of his positive outlook he fought to be able to walk, paid a lot of attention to the lives of others (it may sound crude but I know first hand that there is ironically a good side to having free time on your hands because of disability, if you use it well..) and he taught himself. It's really inspiring what people may do in the face of disability.
Even his death was still untimely, although it was probably for the best that he didn't have to suffer beyond that point - his body was so spent in general..

I am really sad, but it was also a good thing to be touched by the wonderful goodbye with family and friends.. seeing him from different perspectives... the brass band that accompanied us to the grave, typical for him how there is something lighthearted about such a heavy thing.. seeing how many family members had aged each in their own way and phase of life, coming together.

Have found a lot of gratitude through it. I am going to remember him a lot when I make French style ragouts like right now.. he loved to cooked like that and now so do I
Sounds like a very good funeral--it's what they should be: mourning a death but celebrating a life. The sadness of loss is a given, but when just thinking of the person also inspires a deeper appreciation of life itself--the energy of a brass band, the stories of the impact a person's life has had, the emotions we are capable of when we let our guard down, the example of courageous living he set--a memorial can be a powerful thing that radiates ripples for a long time. Families offer such diverse opportunities to know people deeply that otherwise we might just pass on by.
 

Tranced

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Finished Malazan books 1 and 2 (I read up to book five or six a few years back, then stopped). So I'm on to Memories of Ice now, which unfortunately is at the local post deppo. On the plus side though, I'm restocking all the books for about 2 pound each (delivery included) using eBay.
 

ShroomySatori

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Sorry about your uncle man.

Started daily yoga classes... everything from intensive hot yoga classes to quiet yin meditation type stuff. Yin yoga is my favourite. I need to keep clean this time I am doubtful if I have another withdrawal in me. I've been through three acute ones since the autumn alone.

I can't believe my body is even putting up with this (the yoga, with my chronic thoracic spine pain... it's unbelievable to me that I was doing this, I don't even believe I have chronic excruciating back pain anymore). I'm pretty sure it is panic and depression exacerbated and that if I get the part of my body moving again I'll get used to it and be good to snowboard next year (with daily, committed practice and sometimes back-to-back classes). One of the classes was pretty insane but exercise doesn't bother me anymore. I remember I used to like, have to push myself or something? It's just natural to now, I'm just happy to be in a moment when I'm not ruined by opiates even if I'm sick, I'm still healing. I haven't been to yoga since my early 20's. I used to pretty much daily before I hurt my spine... but I'm pretty sure I'm bullshitting myself about the chronic pain. It hurts yes but it is manageable without fuckin heroin and oxycodone and if anything in my opinion the oxycodone is even worse in some respects.

I can honestly envision myself back on my snowboard next season and that is as beautiful a vision as the plan I have for the future if I ever get anything done.
 

Solipsis

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Thanks guys :)

Stay strong Shroomy! It's definitely important to find that motivation somewhere and start sucking it up, keep investing energy until it gets a bit easier and you train yourself to be stronger, have more willpower etc... It's good that you are not that messed up from the pain anymore, or the opioids of course..

I was a bit depressed because my perspective was getting so narrow, just setbacks when trying to find work / education.. but i found something potentially really great and I start as a volunteer on friday but it can become a paid job a little further along into developments :D .
I don't know yet if I can get that paid position later on of course, but I am already just happy and motivated again to discover that my town is not a dead end but there are hot up and coming projects great for the future. Sometimes you just wanna know there are possibilities.
 

dreamflyer

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Oh okay, THIS is where all my fellow Firly Swolks went! Sorry, it took me a few tries to find ya...

I'm trying to be a fairly good boy for the New Year, but I can always an excuse to stray from the path and this month is no exception.

Along with my mom's ongoing scary stomach problems (which she's FINALLY dealing with and thank God, so far so good... all biopsies are benign and everything), my dad's been in the hospital twice this month with some mysterious stomach ailment. He seems to be feeling a bit better now though. He even appointed me his "personal shaman", and I've been slowly introducing him to things like a mild ginger/chamomile tea to ease his nausea.

I've been pretty good except that the pharmacy screwed up my Vyvanse script (like time-released Dexadrine, basically) so I had to go several days without it. I finally picked it up this afternoon and was jonesin' so much by then that I popped three of them (120mg total) a few hours ago. Now I know I'll be tweakin' till the break of dawn, but I couldn't resist. At least I have a brand new sketch pad to keep me occupied!

Last night I dreamed many dreams; one that was a pining for a lost love (she's married now, needa forget about her), one was a nightmare involving a robot chasing and attempting to kill me on some space station (I watched Saturn 3 before bed, same plot, cheesy 80s flick lol), and another was about my pet ball python for some reason co-habitating with a diamond-back rattlesnake. That one was odd; why would I keep a rattle snake? The whole dream revolved around me trying to get stuff out of their tub, but the rattlesnake always coming close to biting me. Sunflower seemed to be getting along great with it though... Weird.


Ha ha, don't you just love the wacky randomness of dreams? Please contribute any good ones (or even bad ones, LOL) to my "Dream Journal" thread whenever you feel like it. The more the merrier!

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
 
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ShroomySatori

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Hot yoga stoned is amazing. Perhaps with a touch of 2c-d if the class calls for it. I'm going to two classes a day these days. Looking to volunteer there, too... just filling out the application this evening before my next class, in fact. Having unlimited $20 classes for less than 100 a month is sick... they are so well done, and I pay it off in like 3 days.

Solipsis; a synchronicity! I just noticed your message, and it is funny how I decided to volunteer at the yoga studio. There is a blonde chick who looks just like Taissa Farmiga... everyone is super chill there and the atmosphere is pretty serene. This could also turn into a job (and really, meeting new friends), I am beginning to actively search for a better job / second daytime job with the overnights and volunteer work would be nice to have on my resume (there's a waiting list so I might not get in right away).

I've read like every King book I def want to check that read out. I'm presently reading Infinite Jest... it's over 1000 pages so I'll be a little bit. haha. Then me and my brother can discuss it over coffees and that will be chill.

I'm starting to feel great again!!! I just forced myself to start being physically active. I started to drag myself out of bed and pretend I was at least a little normal. The past 3 days I've been to yoga, the mall to walk around for hours just browsing / distracting / chatting... I'm getting my appetite back, I cut back to 3 joints a day from 20 as well and I'm actually getting lit now. I smoke before every yoga class, obviously. I'm not doing that shit without being stoned... haha.

Soon I'm going to get my creativity back. I can't wait to start jamming guitar again... I lose the ability to in withdrawal, all I do is improvise but my brain gets too fried to be creative in any way at all really. I'm getting better, Solipsis thank you man and I am staying very strong. It is life or death here, after all. Over a hit.

Starting to feel really really good just being me. Got some real nice indica right now... I love indica smoke these days.
 

HeadphonesandLSD

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Sorry to hear all y'all are dealing with deaths and family problems, seems like that's just going around at the moment. Sending love to everyone in here. :)

We've had some strange things going on in our home over the last few nights. I probably mentioned it on here but my Grandfather died about 6 months ago and I recently found myself living in his old bedroom after some things went down at my new apartment. Don't want to go into the details again but I found myself in a horrible situation and Grandma took me in to get me away from it. Seems like I've just been constantly getting tested since I became a full member of the local church/had my baptism. Anyway....

Last week I managed to have my first lucid dream the details I'll post in a TR later tonight. Grandma had a strange dream a few nights ago herself. She said she woke up and walked into the living room where my Uncle and I were sitting. My Grandfather was sitting in his chair but no one but her could see him. She said he talked to her for a little awhile. Said that he felt _really_ good because he was no longer in pain (last 15-20 years of his life were constant health problems) and that he needed to speak to his brother. She doesn't remember details of their conversation beyond that. When she woke up and started her morning routine she said she could smell his aftershave in the living room. This is odd because my uncle and I don't shave often and AFAIK he doesn't use aftershave and I only use it maybe twice a year.

The same day my Uncle fell asleep on the couch in mid-afternoon while he was at home by himself. He said he felt someone rubbing his leg. Grandpap used to do that for him as a child because he suffered from horrible cramps. He didn't want to mention it to anyone but once Grandma told us the story about her dream he decided maybe he wasn't crazy after all. Finally, last night I was asleep in my Grandfather's room/bed when someone woke me. Something sat on the other side of the bed while I was laying in it. At first I thought it was the cat but it felt wayyyyy too large to be the cat and must have been a fully grown person. I rolled over to look and nothing was there. When I rolled back over to go back to sleep I felt whatever it was leave the bed and it never returned. This morning I asked Grandma if she'd come into the room last night and she said she hadn't nor did anyone else. She also said it couldn't have been the cat because the cat slept with her all night and that my door was closed all night/morning.

Seems Grandpap is hanging around and checking in on us.
 
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Xorkoth

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That gave me chills, but in a good way, Headphones. That's beautiful, really. I've heard too many stories from very credible people I trust to discount that such things can happen. I had one experience I can't explain that actually freaked me out but was interesting at the same time. My mom's parents have a lake house in northern Wisconsin that I've been going to for my whole life, every year. My grandpa died when I was 3 years old, but he absolutely loved it, it was his favorite place. One time as a preteen, I was somewhere in the 10-12 range, I was laying in one of the beds in the back bedroom, reading a book (wide awake), and all of a sudden I felt someone over my shoulder and I very distinctly heard and felt a breath in my ear. I just about jumped out of my skin, and ran out of the room. It scared me but it didn't feel negative or anything, I was just surprised and startled and I was really scared of ghosts as a kid. I didn't really have any sort of communication with it and I have no idea if it was my grandpa but it wasn't my imagination.
 

SONN

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whatsup guys, I hope everyone is having a good day

dreams of lost loved ones are incredible, I'm pretty sure even the most scientific materialist type of person would become spiritual after enough powerful dream experiences of people who have passed.

its a beautiful sunny day here in arizona, the temperature is about 65 degrees. I don't have an AUX cord in my car so on sunny days like this I always listen to the oldies station while driving. Something about music from the early sixties is just so tranquil! %)

Its like the songs are so high on love theres an obvious notion of ignorance is bliss. I've lately been feeling like rational thinking and critical reasoning has been ruining everything for me lol but hearing those songs reminds me of simpler times like when im falling in love or something

this song came on earlier today and its pretty beautiful, songs that sing about how amazing the future will be hold such a warm place in my heart.


stay blessed everyone
 

Cream Gravy?

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I got a job as a computer salesman at a store I've always loved. Didn't wana go back to retail, but this is easily the best retail position I could get. Very excited! Not sure if they're planning to drug screen me, they said I'll start next week and didn't mention pissing in a cup first. Gonna hold off on pot for the next week just in case, but damn... I'm so glad I'm employed again! :)
 

Xorkoth

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Nice man! That's awesome! :) I find that corporate chains will always drug test because they have policies, but if it's a small business, there are plenty that won't drug test. I'd definitely refrain from smoking until you know you're in the clear, for sure, but if they didn't mention it there's a good chance they won't even be doing it.
 

dreamflyer

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whatsup guys, I hope everyone is having a good day

dreams of lost loved ones are incredible, I'm pretty sure even the most scientific materialist type of person would become spiritual after enough powerful dream experiences of people who have passed.

its a beautiful sunny day here in arizona, the temperature is about 65 degrees. I don't have an AUX cord in my car so on sunny days like this I always listen to the oldies station while driving. Something about music from the early sixties is just so tranquil! %)

Its like the songs are so high on love theres an obvious notion of ignorance is bliss. I've lately been feeling like rational thinking and critical reasoning has been ruining everything for me lol but hearing those songs reminds me of simpler times like when im falling in love or something

this song came on earlier today and its pretty beautiful, songs that sing about how amazing the future will be hold such a warm place in my heart.

stay blessed everyone
Wow, that was one of my parents' favorite songs when they were first dating ("Our Day Will Come") back around 1963. He was away at military school and she was just finishing high school.

He's turning 73 tomorrow (she's 70) and they're still married!!!

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
 

pharmakos

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had my biopsy on my adrenal lump on monday. doctor and i have been going off of the assumption that they're non-cancerous, since testicular cancer isn't really known to spread to the adrenal gland. haven't gotten the biopsy results back yet, but i did get my blood work back... and my serum tumor markers are pretty high. =/

ugh. won't get the full biopsy results back til the end of the week. it's going to be a long week.
 
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