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⫸STICKY⫷ PD Social Talk Thread: Pseudo-Philosophical Musings of the Philosophically-Inclined

Cosmic Charlie

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Thankfully me and my girl make pretty good money, i get paid well as a Chef in Manhattan. But she is the primary bread winner and makes 3 times my salary. But she deserves it and has been in school a long time, she is about to get her doctorate. We are a lucky couple and im grateful everyday for all we have. It's why i have to keep my shit together and not abuse narcotics.

On a low dose of LSD now by the way.
Feels Lush, making work really pleasant ❤
 

Xorkoth

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Lucky you guys, congrats, that's awesome. :) My brother and his wife are like that, he makes about what I make and she makes like 1.5x that much. Together they're making like $160k a year in salary. My girlfriend pays me rent and supports herself but has a random job at a coffee shop and lives frugally... it would be awesome if she was making good money too. My ex didn't even support herself, just leeched off me. I can't complain, I mean my girl loaned me money to buy my car. Would be nice to have a partner who could help me buy a house, and fix my house, and invest, and stuff like that. I've never had that before.
 

Cream Gravy?

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Fuck man im Jealous i pay 2,200 a month renting a One Bedroom
JFC I thought I was being ripped off at 900 a month for my one bedroom. East/West Coast cities are obscene!


My wife is my primary breadwinner too. I mean, right now I'm looking for work... but even when I get some I won't be able to make as much as her. She also wants to go back to school and get her doctorate, she studied psychology in undergrad. Always her dream to go back and get that Ph. D by her name. But alas, that would demand me to make money that I seriously doubt I ever could. I wish I was a trust fund kid and could go to law school. That's what my cousin is doing. His dad just won a multi-million dollar settlement (he's a lawyer) so his kids are all pursuing graduate educations.

If only some of those millions could slip my way... more like they look down on us/talk bad about us for not 'trying' hard enough every time I see them. I don't relish Christmas time :(
 

SKL

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Well, I postede a bit of what's up as to my mindset in the post cited above ... but, basically, yeah, might as well discuss pharmacology Ive in the last month come off all anxiety & depression meds and whatnot, started occasionally a bit of booze (very bad) and "medical" (lol) marijuana (yeah no, it's totally an escapist route, but my oh my is it enjoyable on some naked receptors w/o tolerance) ... outside of my skull I don't even know where to start as to what is going on in my life, a lot of it is on the personal side I'd gladly share personally but not publically but really a lot of it is A LOT of it iskind of a mess as of the time I left the world that I was working in at the time (=more or less the last time I posted on here or shared my life details with any of you) and I'm not quite sure what follows...but I dunno, that's I guess a pro forma response because it should relate to drugs, right? TBH I'm sort of at a transition point in life. Was using my professional skills to [bill for the care of | care for] some elderly family members who have now passed and had some money to blow and now really have to reintegrate. Not sure if I want to dive straight back into what I was doing professionally before or what (good benefits, medium wages, shit work environment, shit politics), had a brief attempt at working in the private sector and that shit sucked real bad (I could tell stories.) Honestly not sure if I've wholly integrated all the shit that my involvement in the drug culture brought on when I was in late teens/early 20s but now that I'm well into my 30s I'd be on some real lame shit to inflate all that. Came by Bluelight I shit you not to see who was dead (several months ago) but only recently decided I'd have anything to say about it. I dunno. I feel reallly old and what's more disconnected from that bizarro-world of counterculture that once I felt was totally an open door to me; which leads me to wonder what I spent the years doing. That's some depressing shit I know. But really kind of don't have many cards to play here except just the pseudononymous-confessional one...

It's good to see you and some others alive and presumably well but I'm honestly still a bit spun out about those who aren't and don't even really know how to initiate that conversation especially on people who I personally cared for a lot and perhaps even more so on those people who I encountered out in the crazy life who I connected to in that context but who now there's no more connecting to in this mortal plane, save for remembrance, but how much of that is really me just remembrancing my involvement in the worst aspect of their lives? This forum having been a part of my life for going on 20 years (yeah more than just under this name lol) is a weird presence in the background of all of it and honestly posting on it now is surreal and I'm not even sure how to start...
 

Xorkoth

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Yeah man it's really been fucking me up, the dead friends. The worst one was Erin obviously. She was a near-daily part of my real life, a sister to me. But there have been a lot of others too. To the point that anytime someone disappears from here my mind immediately goes right there. MGS really fucked me up too. He and I were very close because he mentored me through ibogaine and we talked nearly daily from then on. He PMed me the night before he passed and I ignored it because I was tired... he never logged on again and it was a huge cry for help and he just wanted someone to care about him and he reached out to me. Actually the same thing happened with Erin, too. Ignored a call the same night she ODd.

I'm alive. Some things are very well, but life is pretty overwhelming, so much stress the last few years, it's never-ending, one thing after another, a lot of loss/grief, financial issues... I'm exhausted...

The good stuff is that I have great friends and partner, and I'm in 2 bands, one of which is doing great things, so I'm doing something with my time I love and am passionate about. The rest of it... fuck. Right now anyway. All things pass and I'm sure there are greener pastures ahead.

I'm glad you're alive, brother.
 

Pfafffed

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I’ve been looking in to buying a home and the USDA home loan caught my eye. There are certain caveats, like you can’t live within city limits, but that’s not a deal breaker for me. The benefit being you don’t need a down payment.
Some of my coworkers have done this (the USDA Rural Guarantee Loan) to buy houses. It's a good program - no money down, very low interest, and extremely low mortgage insurance. It's there to encourage rehabilitation of rural housing stock. It's definitely worth getting if you meet the eligibility requirements (income, location, etc.)
 

Xorkoth

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Interesting, okay I see. Good to know.

I guess I should find some cash buyers and see what I could get for my house as-is, that way I'll have that information.
 

somnilicious

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Yeah man it's really been fucking me up, the dead friends. The worst one was Erin obviously. She was a near-daily part of my real life, a sister to me. But there have been a lot of others too. To the point that anytime someone disappears from here my mind immediately goes right there. MGS really fucked me up too. He and I were very close because he mentored me through ibogaine and we talked nearly daily from then on. He PMed me the night before he passed and I ignored it because I was tired... he never logged on again and it was a huge cry for help and he just wanted someone to care about him and he reached out to me. Actually the same thing happened with Erin, too. Ignored a call the same night she ODd.

I'm alive. Some things are very well, but life is pretty overwhelming, so much stress the last few years, it's never-ending, one thing after another, a lot of loss/grief, financial issues... I'm exhausted...

The good stuff is that I have great friends and partner, and I'm in 2 bands, one of which is doing great things, so I'm doing something with my time I love and am passionate about. The rest of it... fuck. Right now anyway. All things pass and I'm sure there are greener pastures ahead.

I'm glad you're alive, brother.
I've lost a lot of friends here recently. The darker side of the drug world unfortunately got the best of them. One of my good friends, who was a glutten for downers, got a DUI and got depressed over his ex-daughter situation and he road his bike out to the nearest st. and shot himself rt there on the side of the road. It's sad and sobering. I could have easily overdosed and not been lucky enough to have the paramedics there with the narcan. With the length of time that I was living the junked out lifestyle I feel blessed to be alive.... Love ya Baby Dre and the countless other great souls that have departed this world prematurely.

We gotta count every day as blessing and fordge ahead in this crazy, beautiful world we live in. It's an insane time to be alive. My luck, I've sobered up and turned on again just in time for the apocolypse but bet, I'm gonna keep living it the best I can, while I can.
 
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Xorkoth

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It certainly is an insane time to be alive... we're approaching either the technological singularity, or the end of this civilization. The way we live day to day was inconceivable even 20 years ago. It's a wild ride... a lot of people choose to self-destruct, or even worse, force destruction upon others. We just have to hang on. There's a lot of cool stuff too but sometimes it feels like we've sold our souls for convenience.
 

Buzz Lightbeer

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When the new year comes around I'm getting a whole bunch of glass vials, like 40 or so, and a corresponding box.

I'm sick of keeping it all in little bags that then go into mylar bags, that's for amateurs! Can't have that..... My scale has been acting up a little too, 2020 will be the year where we level up ;)
 

Buzz Lightbeer

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Every time I get close to my stash I get this weird feeling in my stomach, and when looking at little bags I can already feel a change in headspace, it's even worse when smelling it, or tasting a capsule. I can envision myself weighing out doses, and I look absolutely ridiculous while doing it, struggling with these micro spatula, re-weighing because I don't trust the scale 100%. Embarrassing, glass vials won't change the fact that I look like a dud while doing it but at least I'll feel like I'm pretty fucking cool.
 

Vastness

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^ Lol, I dunno, that sounds pretty fucking cool to me. :D

Definitely don't wanna be messing with dodgy scales though, I remember a while back my one scale started to fritz while I was using 3-MeO-PCP occasionally, and using the reference weights I worked out that the margin of error was not a linear one but plotted on a curve... :rolleyes: as it turns out my assessment of the corrective formula I think was accurate enough but could have got hairy for sure...pretty sure I've been keeping a spare one around since then.

I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit I actually do keep the majority of my stuff in little plastic baggies, although double bagged, obviously labelled, then wrapped multiple times in clingfilm or sometimes foil... I like to think this is like a ghetto vacuum seal and should be pretty airtight but maybe it isn't, haven't noticed any degradation but for sure could probably use a storage upgrade...:unsure:
 

Xorkoth

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I kept mine in baggies in a jar for a long time. A while back I was like, you know what, I want my collection to be presentable... plus a few of the bags had the marker wear off so the only reason I knew what they were was because I knew what the bag looked like because I used them regularly. I bought a big load 1 dram and 1/4 dram vials and put everything in them and I get a lot more enjoyment out of my collection now. :) There's something to be said for a nice-looking collection of exotic psychedelics.

However I was collecting for what, 12 or 13 years before I made the leap.
 

Chris Timothy

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It certainly is an insane time to be alive... we're approaching either the technological singularity, or the end of this civilization. The way we live day to day was inconceivable even 20 years ago. It's a wild ride... a lot of people choose to self-destruct, or even worse, force destruction upon others. We just have to hang on. There's a lot of cool stuff too but sometimes it feels like we've sold our souls for convenience.
It's none of those in my view. NASA doesn't buy Kurzweilz's prophecy, but it's not as if there aren't plenty of plans on the table either. The thing is, are we gonna focus on things like living walls, or have a shot at geo-engineering? Accommodate to certainty or risk stabilizing hacks. That's the tough nut to crack, and oddly enough not overly dissimilar to the problem of how to manage human physiology.
 

Chris Timothy

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The Amanita Mushroom told me I AM the singularity, but I suppose that's obviously manic dissociatives-induced nonsense.

But I'm trying to falsify it just in case.

On a mix of phenibut and ephenidine btw, pretty nice. No need for oral time-release either.
 
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