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⫸STICKY⫷ PD Social Distancing Tripping Thread: Viruses Can't Penetrate Hyperspace

TripSitterNZ

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May 6, 2019
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The Dimension of LSD-25
Wish i had some benzos into hour 20 of my 500 ug trip and the oevs are still melting reality a decent amount and cevs are insane a bit worried hopefully it starts to fade off sooner rather than later.
 

TripSitterNZ

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May 6, 2019
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The Dimension of LSD-25
How many people here have read otto snows LSD? i still have the printed book. I was always interested in one of the papers presented in it using it cure schizophrenic's (perrilo 1963) claimed a 80% recovery rate under psychotherapy with it. Especially works wonder in childhood schizophrenic's. Saldy Mainstream supressed this and instead claims shcizos should never do LSD. I also have handfuls of people self medicating their schizophernia with LSD and told me it got rid of their voices and paul statmets also came out and said DMT seems to make negative voices of shcizophernics become positive.

If is truly the case i hope one day this old 1960's papers are revisited they knew the cure back then but fuck nixons war on drugs.

""It should be noted that when a therapist takes LSD, he enters a state in which he can communicate with schizophrenic patients in a direct, close, empathic fashion. This communication opens the door to effective psychological treatment for schizophrenia. The schizophrenic is lost in time, and a therapist who will enter the paths of his disordered thinking, once he can establish trust, can lead the patient out of the disorder. It is not always sufficient to call out from the forest's edge to rescue someone lost. One must sometimes go in himself." from Toward an Individual Psychedelic Psychotherapy, by Masters, R.E.L.; Houston, J.; in Psychedelics; The Uses and Implications of Hallucinogenic Drugs 1970
 

Working_Class

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
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444
Do you make those yourself from a solution, such as ethanol? Curious, I'd like a way to take my etiz on the go.
I dissolve 50 mg of tiz in a ml of everclear, then dose then using an insulin syringe. 1 ml with 50 mg dissolved makes for 1 mg per 2 units, so one tick on the syringe. Just drip it on an altoid mint, and baym. Nice, convenient custom dose minty swerve pills.


We also went on a treck up the mountain to build inuksuks at midnight after we all got into the 4-AcO-DMT. It was a hit, the novelty of being able to snort a psychedelic that lasts for about 4 hours is pretty sweet


 

Xorkoth

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Nice, yeah the carts are definitely better than trying to out distillate on a bowl, though I've done both. My biggest problem with D8 is that it's so chill, and it's in a vape, that I can find myself hitting it pretty constantly throughout the day. For a couple of days recently I was hitting it like it was replacing my nicotine vape, which is just dumb. 8)
 

Xorkoth

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My buddy and I ordered some MXiPR together like, maybe 7, 8 weeks ago now? It's been quite a while. I had an order from the same place take 11 weeks recently, but still I'm starting to get antsy about it.

Weird, a healthy lifetime supply of AMT I ordered from the same place arrived yesterday, it was shopping from the other of their 2 countries of origin. The AMT only took like 3 weeks or so.

I'm really happy about the AMT, I had like one dose left, of some brown degraded HCL, and now I have pure white succinate to last me for the rest of my life. :) AMT is one of my favorite drugs, it's, I would say, hands down my favorite festival drug. I prefer it over MDMA any day, even over MDA generally. Such a lovely empathogen with a psychedelic twist, that leaves you feeling peaceful and happy instead of drained, assuming infrequent and responsible usage (75-80mg of succinate orally is perfect).

I want that MXiPR though, damn it!
 

Buzz Lightbeer

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Dec 1, 2018
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where I roam
It’s a shady vendor, I am like 99% sure they selectively scam US customers, then they offer reships at 50% price (I spent some time browsing through forums, it’s no coincidence)
They have a bad reputation (being hacked, mislabeling, unactive chems etc), I would avoid
 

Xorkoth

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I have heard various things like that about them too, however out of dozens of orders, I have always eventually received mine, and they also made mistakes twice (sending me the wrong thing or leaving one thing out), and took me at y word and sent the thing they made a mistake on. So I remain hopeful.

If I had to have either 2g of MXiPR or 10g of AMT go missing, Im glad I got the AMT, but I really want that MXiPR...
 

Cream Gravy?

Moderator: DC, F&TV, PD
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My biggest problem with D8 is that it's so chill, and it's in a vape, that I can find myself hitting it pretty constantly throughout the day. For a couple of days recently I was hitting it like it was replacing my nicotine vape, which is just dumb.
I've been having a similar compulsion. The shorter duration and less serious nature of the buzz causes me to hit the pen all day long if I've got nothing goin on... I've managed to use a whole 1mL cart in like 3 days. I mean, it's cheap, but not a 1g cart every 3 days kinda cheap lol... can't afford to keep hitting it the way I have been.
 

Vastness

Moderator: PD
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iterating through cyclic eternities
Evening all, my Bluelight brothers and sisters. Hope you are all happy, healthy, and well.

Have not been around so much recently as have been dealing with some personal things, first world problems for sure, but as it's my life they seem fairly important to me, heh.

After a month long benzo binge I quit over 2 or 3 or weeks using gabapentin, gabapentin I must say has zero anxiolytic effect for me I think, I didn't have a seizure so there's that but I also did not feel good.

I had also quit kratom entirely having suffered through what at the time I thought were pretty dire withdrawals but in the grand scheme of things probably were not.

For a few weeks anyway I was sober but basically pretty useless, not really able to concentrate on anything. I switched to baclofen in place of phenibut which surprisingly seemed to have some kind of psychoactive impact enough that I didn't hate waking up every morning.

So following a few weeks of almost sobriety, coffee occasionally, also had a liver function test which came back clean coz I'm a hypochondriac like that. I'm now back to using kratom daily again for the last few days, armodafinil for energy, overusing coffee, taking the odd valium or clonazepam to smooth things out again. Even dipping into tiny tiny bumps of 3-MeO-PCE / DCK, nowhere near hole doses, I don't desire it right now, and I have to be really fucking careful with those ones. I actually just bought some rollable tobacco for the first time in maybe a year or 2... The reason for this, basically, is that I just cannot work without being on something. Literally when I sit down at my computer I start getting anxious. I just start thinking of everything I'd rather be doing instead. As a result I escape in TV shows, not so many drugs this year at all in fact which you would think would help but it has not, not so much exercise this year either when I used to be a fitness freak, but it's not enough... I can't escape myself and the pressure of my choices, or lack of them...

I have an easy life, I know, and I've made excuses over excuses for why I should just pull myself together, be grateful for what I have, maybe it's the drugs? Maybe I need to exercise more. Maybe I need to stop complaining. Maybe I need to be someone other than who I am... But, it's coming to a head now. It's not the drugs. I know who I am. I have a problem though which I've complained about to a few of you and is obvious to everyone in my life who knows me personally that through a series of bad decisions, fear of failure, passivity on my part, I've made a life for myself that is comfortable but on a trajectory that I explicitly do not enjoy. I only have myself to blame here. I'm not looking for sympathy. I guess I just wanna share and consider you guys my friends even though I've never met any of you in real life. I need to extricate myself from a business arrangement that I've stupidly and passively allowed myself to get in way too deep and that it is going to be difficult to do. I think that I am ready now though. I think I have set things up enough that I can jump. I'm not going to jump right away. I still need to do this sensibly, carefully... but, fuck... I'm 32, I'm banging my head against a wall thinking I can ride this out to a peace of mind that is never ever going to come, that much is clear now. Money isn't everything. It's not an ideal climate in the world to jump ship, I know many people would perhaps rightfully look on my relentless moaning with disdain. I know many people will tell me I'm an idiot for even thinking it, and maybe I am... It's no-one else's fault... purely my own. I've invested myself in a life I don't want, an endeavour I don't care about. I've tried so many times to extricate myself but always failed to do so... but I won't fail this time. This is it. I'm out. I'm gonna be a bit poorer for a while but that's fine. It's not gonna be immediate which sucks and is gonna hurt but I'm just gonna have to suffer through it. Maybe I'm an ungrateful fool who doesn't know how lucky I am... but what I'm doing right now, is killing me. It's not that's it's even hard work. It's just that it consumes my every waking moment and all my thoughts are focused on when am I going to be done with this? Again... I've been lucky... I am lucky. I have a comfortable life. But I'm trapped in it. No more... this has to be the end of the road. Thank you for reading anyone who did read this far and I do apologise for such shameless self-indulgent misery when there are people in the world who are starving, blind, destitute. Ah, what am I saying... maybe the mental health forum would be a better place for this. I'll be OK I'm sure.

I know I am very late but my condolences about your cat @Xorkoth, I meant to say earlier but wasn't in the best place and also didn't wanna hijack your own grief, I hope you don't mind me bringing it up now, but weirdly coincidentally my sister's cat died a few weeks ago too, I think actually within a day of your own bereavement. She has a bunch of them but this one was the oldest and a survivor from my childhood when we lived together, so I went over to visit her as I knew she was gonna be put down, she had some kind of growth on her kidney that wasn't getting better, wasn't eating, was just getting weaker and weaker... was a weirdly solemn occasion. My mum was there too, my sister is a vet nurse so she pre-sedated her - Jess - apparently this is standard practice, although she's not authorised to actually euthanise so her friend had to come over to do it, so it was me, my mum, my sister and my sister's vet friend sitting around this old cat in the garden, wrapped in a blanket, with a pre-prepared biohazard death drug ready for IV... she was already kinda unresponsive, pupils massively dilated, I wondered in a macabre way if she was experiencing a kitty K-hole of a sort, but this time she wouldn't be coming out of it, but proceeding through the eye at the centre of the maze, to whatever lies beyond. It only took about a quarter of the well-labelled biohazard syringe for her to slip away.. and with it another vestige of my childhood I guess. I think it was a good death though, as far as such things go, at least.

Anyway I love all of you and feel an inclination to apologise for just dipping in and bringing the mood down, heh. PLUR.
 

psy997

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noitacoL
@Vastness Do what you need. Money isn't everything. Just make sure not to switch to the other extreme of doing what you care about but not having enough money to feel secure. I know people who have oscillated between the two over and over. It's a balance.
 

Bicycle Tripper

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Joined
Sep 29, 2020
Messages
2
I do apologise for such shameless self-indulgent misery when there are people in the world who are starving, blind, destitute.
My first post in the forum, I've been lurking around a while but @Vastness your last post struck a chord with me. I've certainly found myself ignoring my own problems because in the grand scheme of things they didn't seem that bad so I felt that I shouldn't complain. If you have good friends around you then you shouldn't feel bad about talking about your issues, if they're good friends then they'll listen and help, even if there are blind or destitute people out there.

I think what I'm trying to say is that just because other people in the world might have big problems in their lives doesn't make anything you're dealing with less valid. We should all aim to be happy and if you feel like you aren't quite where you want to be then go work at it. It sounds like you'll regret it if you don't give it a go, and hey if you take that jump and regret jumping then you'll know that it wasn't quite the right move and you can try something else! At the very least it seems like you have figured out that your current situation isn't what you want, a lot of people out there are miserable but don't bother figuring it out or looking to something else.
 

Vastness

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Thanks guys. That's it. I've decided. It's not gonna be an easy road to navigate but fuck... this feels freeing... I almost a little scared though, because I've tried before to do this but opted for a half measure, gave second chances, pulled back when I should have never looked back.

I'm also aware that I'm on a few drugs right now, I just took another 75mg armodafinil with the goal to finish up a software project for a client... It's been a while since my last kratom dose, I'm probably gonna start getting antsy soon... I wanna smoke another rollie but my throat is feeling a bit tight, I do have asthma, and COVID obviously is a thing... I think I will take another benzo at least.

Drugs come and go and I know a certain person who would blame my perceptions here on the drugs... but I know who I am. This life is not making me happy and I only have 1 (probably).

I've burned through Jocko Willink's podcasts, David Goggins, I've thrown myself into exercise, at one point I thought I might even compete in martial arts... I've been militant about diet, exercise, sleep... I have really, really tried to get excited about the work I have to do, to be grateful, to push through the grind. I have used substances to augment, for a while... I've allowed myself to be lead down roads I didn't really want to go because I didn't know what else to do and didn't have the confidence in myself to know even what I wanted to do instead. But this isn't enough. When it comes down to it, it always comes back to this...

How much longer will I need to do this?

When is it going to end?

I've called the Samaritans before about skipping some pointless business meeting. I've thought occasionally recently (not seriously) if I just killed myself... would that be easier? Whenever I interact with people I'm always kinda dispassionate, I have no pride in what I do or what I've done.

I hope that this is it. I hope I make it this time. I wanna feel like my life means something... not just something I'm soldiering through, unhappy until I die.
 

Buzz Lightbeer

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Dec 1, 2018
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where I roam
My first post in the forum, I've been lurking around a while but @Vastness your last post struck a chord with me. I've certainly found myself ignoring my own problems because in the grand scheme of things they didn't seem that bad so I felt that I shouldn't complain. If you have good friends around you then you shouldn't feel bad about talking about your issues, if they're good friends then they'll listen and help, even if there are blind or destitute people out there.

I think what I'm trying to say is that just because other people in the world might have big problems in their lives doesn't make anything you're dealing with less valid. We should all aim to be happy and if you feel like you aren't quite where you want to be then go work at it. It sounds like you'll regret it if you don't give it a go, and hey if you take that jump and regret jumping then you'll know that it wasn't quite the right move and you can try something else! At the very least it seems like you have figured out that your current situation isn't what you want, a lot of people out there are miserable but don't bother figuring it out or looking to something else.
Welcome Bicycle Tripper, serious post to like ratio you got there, damn! I take it you like LSD?
I wonder how many others are reading these social threads, with intimate knowledge of our drug use and general pictures painted through posts, not that I mind, but it feels kinda naked doesn't it.

I don't mean to derail too much, I feel like my previous post summarized my thoughts on your decisions quite well, only thing that might have been missing is a well meant 'good luck' hah :)
 

Xorkoth

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My first post in the forum, I've been lurking around a while but @Vastness your last post struck a chord with me. I've certainly found myself ignoring my own problems because in the grand scheme of things they didn't seem that bad so I felt that I shouldn't complain. If you have good friends around you then you shouldn't feel bad about talking about your issues, if they're good friends then they'll listen and help, even if there are blind or destitute people out there.

I think what I'm trying to say is that just because other people in the world might have big problems in their lives doesn't make anything you're dealing with less valid. We should all aim to be happy and if you feel like you aren't quite where you want to be then go work at it. It sounds like you'll regret it if you don't give it a go, and hey if you take that jump and regret jumping then you'll know that it wasn't quite the right move and you can try something else! At the very least it seems like you have figured out that your current situation isn't what you want, a lot of people out there are miserable but don't bother figuring it out or looking to something else.
Welcome, glad to see you join and post. :) Quality first post, sir.

Drugs come and go and I know a certain person who would blame my perceptions here on the drugs... but I know who I am. This life is not making me happy and I only have 1 (probably).
Often, drugs are a symptom of a problem, something you use to mask negative feelings that are chronic because of life circumstances. Regarding your posts, I think it's brave to admit and state publicly (as it were) that you feel a certain way about your life. Feeling meaning and satisfaction with what you do in life is so important. All through my twenties, I struggled to try to start a software design company. I thought I had to keep pushing at the thing I decided to get educated in. And I really like programming, but trying to establish myself in that world felt wrong, in the end. I even turned down a very lucrative side project after it felt too unnatural. I was trying to spend my extra time playing music, because I love and am passionate about playing music, it doesn't pay much at all and is unlikely to ever pay me much, but doing it is its own reward, and I'm really proud of the music I create. It makes a huge di9fference in my life, but it took me deciding to change my focus.
 
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