Sorry you're feeling down, dreamflyer. I've had a really rough COVID season... especially the first month and a half. I actually got GHB against my better judgment, funny you mention it. I was drinking heavily or doing GHB, plus stimulants, anything I could get my hands on. Ended up in the ER because I took too much G on top of a couple of drinks and my girlfriend found me u nrespectove. Of course they didn't do anything for me and I woke up an hour later, very confused. I ended up with a $5k bill for a doctor lecture, IV fluids, a shot of Narcan because they thought it was an opiate OD, and a CT scan because I kept saying I didn't remember taking anything (I didn't). The CT scan was only $90 for some reason.
Fast forward, I didn't throw it away and jkept doing it til one day I dumped it down the drain. Slipped on opiates again to help me deal, been taking phenibut to stave off withdrawals from G and tapering down. Just a lot of drug abuse and I feel like I have very little control. My friend is in the same boat and said he is renting a cabin in the woods for a month and going to detox himself and learn to deal with life without drugs. He asked me to join him, and I think I am going to, in August. Just sweat it out for a month, play music every day with one of my best friends, hike a lot, exercise, cook food... I think it will be a good experience. Only thing is my band is starting to get intense on the practice and we're recording and I don't know how they will like me being gone a month but on the other hand, they're concerned about me. I'm rather excited about the prospect. I am going to quit drinking, stimulants, caffeine, phenibut, basically all addictive drugs. I want to go back to psychedelics occasionally and weed once in a blue moon. Maybe MDMA once or twice a year and a dissociative now and again. Basically all the drugs that have positive impacts on my life and that I don't have abuse problems with.
I'm doing pretty alright now, being productive, doing a ton of projects around the house (rebuilding a second story deck balcony lately, and we're gonna build a bear fence and inside it a coop to have quail. Been working on my friends' farm(my bandmates actually) and getting lots of food and companionship there. Also practicing with my other band again. And work is popping off, so much to do. Which is good, it was the lack of feeling productive and useful, coupled with extreme boredom, that was driving me nuts. Plus my dad's death has far-reaching ramifications on my overall mental state. It's been a rough, rough year.
