That's very interesting. Just touching on what you mention about "eliminating the dissociative hangover"... that sounds very interesting to me. I'm really kind of dubious about dissociatives as entheogenic drugs even though I concur with the above that most of my really profound experiences have been on a psych and a disso, it's a truly holy combination, and I do get afterglows from these experiences that are lacking from disso-alone binges.
I think I have a kind of romantic/egoic notion about taking certain psychedelics and NOTHING else, like there's value in just embracing the uncertainty and fear, weathering any difficult experiences and coming out psychologically "clean" the other side of it... but maybe that's just an unhelpful bias from the air of elitism that sometimes surrounds pure psychedelics compared to other more purely hedonistic substances. Maybe I should just embrace what I like. I think I apply this pattern to a lot of my life, feeling like I SHOULD just be able to do hard things and emerge a stronger, wiser person, but in actual fact that pressure just results in spending a lot of time procrastinating and indulging my avoidant tendencies. For a few months a year I usually decide to live a really monastic, clean life, muddling along OK, eventually, but doing the bare minimum in a fairly fairly flat mood... before deciding fuck this... and jumping back in to the substance up/down rollercoast. I'm really aware of my own patterns by now but combatting them directly is a work in progress.
Anyway yeah... ketamine. I took 190 days off recently before allowing myself a 2 day binge of just 1 gram. I maybe had a very light hole once - but I had to close my eyes and deliberately focus on the sensations. It wasn't the same as being carried involuntarily through another universe, usually networks of tunnels and expansive rooms, sometimes factories, cityscapes, tunnels, and the like... that was all gone.
40 days later - I tried again, this time with 2 g over 2 days - this time effects were just pathetic. Also my bladder hurt afterwards. It is interesting in recording this stuff though that I'm getting an idea what's am acceptable frequency and what isnt. More than 2g in a 6 week period seems too much now. But 1g in 6 months may be OK physically... but still not long enough for the permatolerance to abate (although, to complicate things, I also used about 0.5g of MXE 105 days prior... so maybe some cross tolerance is involved).
Even before noticeable bladder issues and long term permatolerance though, sometimes I would sniff a huge amount going for a hole and be disappointed - like if I binged for a good few days and saved 250mg for the next weekend (back when I had to actually commute to work pretty often) I'd sometimes find it did fuck all and think damn, better lay off it for a while... but usually the magic would come back. I didn't take any detailed records like I do now - I've become obsessive at logging almost every psychoactive chemical I put into my body - at the time though so I cant say now long it took me to get some of the magic back again.
A few years back now I had myself a planned drug holiday at the beginning of the year where I must have gone through maybe 10g in like a week, and holing every day... no chance I could do that now.
I think probably ketamine is just too weak in potency for me to use anymore. I generally find the more potent dissos not to cause any bladder issues of note when I haven't also been doing ketamine, and when I take care of myself properly. I really hope this DCK does pan out - IMO it's so close, even a deeper hole than ketamine in some ways... I think it might be an improvement on the original molecule.
Had basically no sleep, took 20mg Diazepam and 10mg 3-MeO-PCE, this latter substance is very nice and lucid I must say. I was feeling exhausted and shit before. I also don't feel too manic, this wall of text notwithstanding.
This is dubiously HR but will be of interest to dissonauts who think about combatting long term NMDAR downregulation - should probably post this in the N&PD forum, but:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19433577/
Sarcosine is an endogenous amino acid that is a competitive inhibitor of the type I glycine transporter (GlyT1), an N-methyl-d-aspartate receptor (NMDAR) co-agonist,
Not sure if those papers are the best indicators for whatever point I'm making - but it seems that sarcosine might have somewhat opposite effects on NMDAR than known dissociative NMDA-antagonists, a la, ketamine. Not sure if safe or reasearched, obviously the undisguised objective here is to reverse permatolerance as much as possible. Doesn't do anything for your bladder obviously but yeah dunno where I'm going with this post now but I've been typing it for ages so I guess I'll click that lil Reply button.
Well maybe not K actually, I just did some recently and again, minor bladder pains, also creeping permatolerance... need to take a proper long break from K now, maybe a year+... not the first time I've said this, but usually does lead to some kind of abstinence, even if last time I planned a year I only made it 6 months.
