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panic

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MrsGamp

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 3, 2020
Messages
1,280
Ahhhh, argh, damn!
The government doubled unemployment benefit because of COVID.
At last, I thought, I can buy dexies in sufficient quantities to keep my act from altogether unravelling for at least ten days ...
At this precise point in time my dealer won't answer his phone. Has he been in hospital? Gaol? Maybe he's died and no-one's noticed yet?
Absolutely no-one else is forthcoming...apparently there's been a meth shortage which in turn has caused a Dex panic, because the methheads are buying all the Dex.
I'm getting through this with alcohol combined with judicious doses of an anti-histamine which has a slightly stimulating effect if you take enough.
My bro, on the other hand, isn't able to so much as stir from his bed-he's just non functional at all without them.
I'm in bed myself 90 percent of the time, to keep warm and because there's just nothing to get the fuck up for ...
At the same time I have been trying to pray. I'd go to an AA meetings but I feel so tired ..I look so shit. Vanity ..
Yesterday this phrase popped into my head: "there is no way but a way must be found".
 
The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

There are other ways to source drugs, have you heard of the dark net?

I've been in your situation so many times. You'll get through it somehow. Things always work out.
 
I LOVED that poem .. Thanks so much.
Re dark web, I only have a crappy old I-pad which can only go online by virtue of the "hot spot" on my phone. Would this preclude dark web drug search? My ex was obsessed by the dark web but claimed you need an old fashioned dial-up style modem to access DW...
Again, loved the poem.
 
MrsGamp said:
I LOVED that poem .. Thanks so much.
Re dark web, I only have a crappy old I-pad which can only go online by virtue of the "hot spot" on my phone. Would this preclude dark web drug search? My ex was obsessed by the dark web but claimed you need an old fashioned dial-up style modem to access DW...
Again, loved the poem.
Click to expand...

Yeah, you need a PC which is able to run linux :/ if you are interested just google "DNM bible" which teaches you everything you need to know.

Definitely don't need an old fashioned computer, however a lot of newer PC hardware isn't compatible.
 
SnafuInTheVoid said:
Yeah, you need a PC which is able to run linux :/ if you are interested just google "DNM bible" which teaches you everything you need

My bros is more or less dying..but not really.
We're both having a foul time.
It's so dreadful -a joke of,Fortuna ..

govt steps up social security-doubling the amount per fortnight us 'bludgers" can claim...supposedly the increased spending power is to do with COVID
Of course, at first, we all said PHEW. Pe

I don't follow the logic here at,all,..'but the,doubling
Click to expand...
 
Ps the doubling of income has no doubt led to everyone getting FUCKEN Desperateville!
 
MrsGamp said:
Ahhhh, argh, damn!
The government doubled unemployment benefit because of COVID.
At last, I thought, I can buy dexies in sufficient quantities to keep my act from altogether unravelling for at least ten days ...
At this precise point in time my dealer won't answer his phone. Has he been in hospital? Gaol? Maybe he's died and no-one's noticed yet?
Absolutely no-one else is forthcoming...apparently there's been a meth shortage which in turn has caused a Dex panic, because the methheads are buying all the Dex.
I'm getting through this with alcohol combined with judicious doses of an anti-histamine which has a slightly stimulating effect if you take enough.
My bro, on the other hand, isn't able to so much as stir from his bed-he's just non functional at all without them.
I'm in bed myself 90 percent of the time, to keep warm and because there's just nothing to get the fuck up for ...
At the same time I have been trying to pray. I'd go to an AA meetings but I feel so tired ..I look so shit. Vanity ..
Yesterday this phrase popped into my head: "there is no way but a way must be found".
Click to expand...

The Way Out is Through! Soldier on
 
Thanks! So well put -and thinking of myself as a "soldier" makes all this suffering seem potentially ennobling.
But I do wish my brother would get up. He's so low.
 
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