Out of the Mouths of Dumbasses

felix

felix

Bluelight Crew
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Apr 30, 2005
Messages
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Hehe. My best mate just told me that his 21 year old girlfriend recently asked him the question 'Is the moon the sun?' (When seeing the moon during the day...)

Which reminded me of when my 25 year old ex asked me: 'Are lions male and tigers female?'

And I'm sure I could come up with a few more like that.

So, please be posting similar examples of when your other half (male or female!) has uttered something of such dumbassed-ness that it took your breath away. 8(
 
My best friend when we were 16 asked me.... in all seriousness.... if she would need her passport when we went to The Ilse of Wight.....

This is the same girl who thought Milton Keynes was a seaside resort near Brighton.........
 
^ LOL

I remember when my 18 year old ex said to me are you really 40? Does that make you a dirty old pervert like felix and his mate?

No that just make me a luckier old pervert ;)
 
^ haha.

Another one from the same ex:

Visiting an old castle thing. In the car park there was a wooden box thing on a pole for donations. She puts a pound coin into the box, and stands there waiting.

Me: What are you waiting for?

Her: A receipt!

*seriously*

NEXT!
 
My 50 year old mum wondered if uruguay had many players from uruguay tonight, women dont seem to get any more intelligent as they get older do they?
 
i was at leeds fest and at our camp it happend to be infested with 90% guys, so me and my mates shouted "god dam its a fucking sausage party!!!"

blonde girl i was dating at the time: "oooo where are the sausages?" all excited

i gave her a sausage that night %)
 
in the middle of a heated argument with a friend i blurted out 'i know more about jewism than you!'

obviously... obviously 8) :D
 
Upon going to the house of a work colleague (nice guy but incredibly dozy) for the first time, his dog bounded up to greet me. I stroked it and asked "is it a lad or lass?". A puzzled look slowly spread across his face and after pause he said in an incredulous tone "but it's a dog"! 8( =D
 
My girlfriend, towards the end of England v Uruguay last night (and, yes, she did know it was a friendly. Also, she thinks she knows alot about footy) "Oh great there's going to be penalties".

Another thing - Why the fuck would England taking penalties be a 'great' thing? Not like we ever bloody win em!
 
a friend of mine became the king of idiot statments such as "where do you keep your ice?" when making drinks
or
"why dont tramps move to spain where its warmer?"

cant remeber the rest of em....
 
I can't remember who told me, think it was a mate, but they said their girlfriend asked whilst watching a race, if the F1 cars stop during the advert breaks.
 
My mother to my father one sunny afternoon"Pat is that a piece of the moon in the sky up there?(gesticulating at a crescent of the moon) Father looks up with an expression of incredulous disbelief/disgust and replies "Of course it is you stupid woman what on earth else could it be"? Mother "Oh has it come off the rest of the moon then"?







zophen
 
I once asked my girlfriend what MANGEY TOUT was repeating the words exactly as written :eek:




Mange tout

Mange%20Tout.png
 
Which reminds me of a time I got lost in northern Mexico .. this was really remote.

Running really low on gas so I stop at this little town actually the only town in the last 60 miles. The town consisted of about 6 wooden shacks. So I stroll over to this old guy who must have been 90 if a day and say "Hola senior, Como esta. Hay otra poblano cerca de aquí con una gasolinera" he just looks at me like I'm a fuckin' retard and asks for one of my smokes. Translated it means "Hola Mr, How are you. Is there another town near here with a gas station"

I persist with the same question a few times but he stares at me blankly.

Turns out I had used the word "Poblano" instead of "Pueblo"
So I was asking "Is there a stew near here" instead of "town".

Fuckin' gringo :eek:
 
Karaboudjan said:
My dad was in a supermarket in France once and some gimp asked him if he spoke French and he replied with "Small peas" when he tried to say "A little" :D
Click to expand...

My dad ordered coffee in france and ordered "one black and one noir please"
 
I excused myself from the dinner table one night when I was on my german exchange.... by saying;

"Please excuse me.... I must go to bed. I am a mosquito"

The words for mosquito and tired are very similar.....
 
My mother came out with 'I thought any country could join Europe?' the other day.

Also in Geography lessons, my mate told our teacher that sheep farming was a county down south, and that cyanide production is one of Yorkshire's main industries.

(to be fair I did feed her these answers, but she was stupid enough to believe them)
 
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My mum once asked me :

"In pornography films, do they actually have sex?".

Yes, my MUM asked me that.

I didn't sleep properly for weeks.
 
My mate asked us if T in the Park was still sponsoered by Tenants the other day.
 
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