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  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

Online friends in 'real life' - how common is it?

How many of your friends did you first meet online and later meet in real life?

  • none

    Votes: 19 22.1%
  • A few

    Votes: 42 48.8%
  • About half

    Votes: 13 15.1%
  • Most

    Votes: 12 14.0%
  • All

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Don't know

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    86
^ I think people say shit on bluelight carelessly; it rarely means they're harbouring any deep resentment.
 
It annoys me when people act differently "irl" and online. The people you communicate with online are just as real as the ones you meet offline. I guess they can't punch you though.
 
drugfukkdrockstar said:
He must be different in person then.

he is a very very nice person.

He came into my melbourne life a little too late though and that sucks. But we get along so well we will be friends wherever we are
 
I met my boyfriend online. And my best friend (who is now in London) - while I met her "IRL", she also frequents another forum I'm on.

Plus I know a few people from ol' BL :) But I'm a loner....and don't have many close friends...those that are close to me live elsewhere where I can't see them.


As for being different online...I'm quieter around new people. And I have more strength to argue online cos writing gives me more time to think about my points...but other than that, I've never been good at bullshitting so what you see is what you get :)
 
zephyr said:
he is a very very nice person.

He came into my melbourne life a little too late though and that sucks. But we get along so well we will be friends wherever we are

Oh well, that's good!
 
I've met a number of people in real life who I have known from other forums, but Bluelight is the only online community where I have actually become good friends with the people I've met.

I have quite a number of good friends (including some that I consider my closest personal friends) that I initially met through, or at least because of Bluelight. Having said that, I can't think of any of them that I would have considered actual friends before I met them in real life and formed the bonds of friendship.

While there were some that I became friends with after meeting them by chance, obviously there was a number that I actively went out of my way to meet because what I knew of them on line appealed to me for one reason or another.

I tend not to actually form much of a relationship with people that I only know online and have never actually met. Most times is has been what I know and think of a person through what they've shared online that has compelled me to make the effort to meet them (often despite little or no actual online interaction beforehand).

On the whole, the real friendships that I have made through Bluelight have continued to grow and strengthen offline rather than on. Contact and communication will often take place online for convenience (through anything from BL, facebook, Messenger, email), but the actual friendship exists very much in real life.

Ok, so after all that rambling, I should probably just answer the damn question....

--------------

Do you think people's social lives are influenced a lot by forums and other internet sites, or is it more just a way of keeping in touch with people you already know?

Communication between people you already know is being constantly changed (and enhanced?) as new online sites/tools/gimmicks become available, but I think the impact is far greater than just an alternative to phone calls or letter writing.

I think peoples lives (and not limited to just their social lives) are becoming more and more heavily influenced by forums and communication sites like Facebook, myspace etc. It's really not unusual any more to hear that people met their friends/partners/creator online. Even a decade ago if you heard that, most peoples first thought would be of desperate singles and online dating.

The effect of having discussion forums and sites with a specific focus (such as Bluelight) is that you can encounter likeminded people that you would never otherwise even know existed. So immediately your potential friendship circle is both widened to include everyone with internet access, and narrowed down to people with who you at least have enough in common that you found the same site.

And of course with the safety-net of the keyboard and cyberspace you can engage a total stranger in an in-depth conversation, or argue with them about the finer details of a topic that only 15 people in the whole world care about without any of the social wierdness that doing that sort of thing in real life can cause. ;)
 
Most of my close friends that i have now i have met via doofs and then we chatted online after via psytrance forums/msn etc but some i've met after knowing their "handle" and then meeting up at a doof and putting the faces to names (like bluelight) I have a small handful of friends that i have met through BL but mainly psytrance related as that's my social scene.

I think a lot of people i talk to online via BL "pretend" to be my "friend" (it's kinda a loaded word when talking about online friendships) Not as in they don't actually like me but rather probably are nice for the sake of being nice and maybe won't actually tell me what they really think about "whatever" (<--- this can include anything from what they think of me to what they think of something else) which is something i really value. I like openess and honesty and not fake bullshit. I'm probably only making sense to me again damn it! *sigh*

I would never say anything to anyone online that i wouldnt say to someones face (even if i think they won't like it) I'm always honest and i would like to think polite and considerate but also highly opinionated but my written expression tends to cause problems as i feel i'm better to converse with in person :) so this whole "people being careless" about what they say doesn't cut it with me. There's no need to be a bitch for bitchiness sake. It doesn't hurt to be polite and still be YOU when online. Fake personas online shit me.

In conclusion... i have made many friends online but feel i am misinterpreted by a lot of people :)
 
^ Careless, in the context it was intended, does not equate to fake.

It means taking the InTerWEbs as a grain of salt.
 
What i'm saying is that there is no reason to be "careless" (ie down right rude and nasty) when you are talking to someone online. Just cos you can't see people's faces doesn't mean they are not real people with real thoughts. Everyone deserves respect even if they are disagreeing with someone.
 
doofqueen said:
What i'm saying is that there is no reason to be "careless" (ie down right rude and nasty) when you are talking to someone online. Just cos you can't see people's faces doesn't mean they are not real people with real thoughts. Everyone deserves respect even if they are disagreeing with someone.
^ I agree, however i don't know about everyone deserving respect, respect is earned :)

If someone is being a certain way that they wouldn't be in rl just because they are hiding behind a computer screen, that says more about the person than it does you doesn't it.
 
absolutely.... agree with all that. Respect is earnt but there's no need for rudeness and bitchiness when you could be said in a respectful way when the person the rudeness is directed to wasn't rude to them etc. I only fire up when people are rude to me for no reason. It doesn't take much of an effort to be polite.
 
trancegirle said:
If someone is being a certain way that they wouldn't be in rl just because they are hiding behind a computer screen, that says more about the person than it does you doesn't it.

Exactly. It's really their problem at the end of the day. What's really funny is when you actually do meet them too and they are total wimps in person. You end up having the last laugh. =D
 
DQ: most fights and shit that happen on here are not really out of disrespect, unless people involved have an off the board issue and just use the board to get at each other.

From a few observations by some of the more outspoken people here recently people get into unruly debate simply because they are bored and want something to do.

And its easy to sit here behind the safety of a computer screen and pretend to be Mr/Mrs perfect when the reality is the opposite.

I have huge boobs btw.
 
DQ you play the victim too much. It makes me want to insult you.

Don't show weakness.

Don't think that is limited to online. People like you inspire me to be harsh in real life too. Sad but true. Man up.
 
I'm not a "hard" person. I wear my heart on my sleeve and i'm too open and sensitive for my own good and i know that but that's ME and i'm not changing who i am for anyone. I'm not going to pretend things don't bother me when they do. I am always nice and respectful to everyone (I pride myself on that actually) unless people are NOT the same to me. (even then i still try to be unless people cross the line) So i'm not "maning up" at all. Fuck that.
 
^ You should never change who you are for anyone doofqueen :) I actually admire you for wearing your heart on your sleeve. And have always liked your posts. I think what it is though is that your expectation is that people will always put you down or be nasty toward you, and you let that known so it becomes a kind of self fulfilling prophecy. You should expect and therefore demand respect. Don't mean to tell you how you should be or anything like that at all though, that tis just my little observation of the sitiation :) If that makes any sense.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent- Eleanor Roosevelt
<3
 
^ Exactly what she said. You seem to pre-face every post you make with "I know everybody hates me but."

Just post and cut the self pitying shit.
 
^ I used to preface all of my stories with "I never thought the stories in your magazine where true until this one time..."
 
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