So I'm in a pretty tough situation right now.
I have an ex wife with whom I have a four year old son.
Two and a half years ago I walked out after months of constant arguments, many of which had to do with my drinking, drug use and gambling.
For two years I was on a bender travelling all around the country doing crazy things, tryng to forget about them. But then six months ago I realized that I wanted to go back. So I quit gambling and doing drugs, cut down on drinking and came back.
It took some time to convince her to accept me back in her life but she did it on the condition that I went to rehab. I went and it helped me decide to permanently stop gamling and doing drugs.
I moved back in with her and for two or three months. For a while everything was going well. But then she gradually became the same judgemental, controlling, petty person she got to be before I left.
Then one day she caught me drinking and that lead to a huge fight. I explained to her that I only drink in the morning and at night and that I have it under control(I only get buzzed in zhe morning and slightly drunk at night, never more than a pint of whiskey or a gallon of wine a day) but she flipped out and threatened to throw me out of the house if I didn't stop drinking immediately. She also forced me to go to AA.
I didn't stop drinking and only began hiding it and only drinking in the morning after she'd left for work and at night after she'd fallen asleep. She now checks my eyes and my breath every time I come home. Furthermore she made me get a job which I didn't really want.
All along I keep saying to myself that I must do this to stay with my son but it's getting really hard. I'm pretty much miserable all the time except when I'm drinking or alone with my son. All day every day I just keep waiting for night time so I can start drinking.
I think a big reason of why she is the way she is is her horrible family who live nearby. She cut all contact with them when she met me on my advice but began talking to them again after the baby was born. They are a bunch of horrible, petty, passive agressive people and I know they've been turning her against me. I keep telling her that we should move somewhere far away from them but she keeps rejecting the idea.
I swear she was a different person for the first couple of years of our relationship. She was funny, intereating, compassionate, loving and accepting. She says she's matured since then and that I should do the same(we were 21 when we met and now we're 29) but if maturing means becoming such an unpleasant person I'm fine, thanks.
In summation I really don't know what to do. If things don't change I'll relapse back into heavy drinking drug use and gambling and she'll throw me out and I'll probably never see my son again. If you have ab any advice for me, please help.
I have an ex wife with whom I have a four year old son.
Two and a half years ago I walked out after months of constant arguments, many of which had to do with my drinking, drug use and gambling.
For two years I was on a bender travelling all around the country doing crazy things, tryng to forget about them. But then six months ago I realized that I wanted to go back. So I quit gambling and doing drugs, cut down on drinking and came back.
It took some time to convince her to accept me back in her life but she did it on the condition that I went to rehab. I went and it helped me decide to permanently stop gamling and doing drugs.
I moved back in with her and for two or three months. For a while everything was going well. But then she gradually became the same judgemental, controlling, petty person she got to be before I left.
Then one day she caught me drinking and that lead to a huge fight. I explained to her that I only drink in the morning and at night and that I have it under control(I only get buzzed in zhe morning and slightly drunk at night, never more than a pint of whiskey or a gallon of wine a day) but she flipped out and threatened to throw me out of the house if I didn't stop drinking immediately. She also forced me to go to AA.
I didn't stop drinking and only began hiding it and only drinking in the morning after she'd left for work and at night after she'd fallen asleep. She now checks my eyes and my breath every time I come home. Furthermore she made me get a job which I didn't really want.
All along I keep saying to myself that I must do this to stay with my son but it's getting really hard. I'm pretty much miserable all the time except when I'm drinking or alone with my son. All day every day I just keep waiting for night time so I can start drinking.
I think a big reason of why she is the way she is is her horrible family who live nearby. She cut all contact with them when she met me on my advice but began talking to them again after the baby was born. They are a bunch of horrible, petty, passive agressive people and I know they've been turning her against me. I keep telling her that we should move somewhere far away from them but she keeps rejecting the idea.
I swear she was a different person for the first couple of years of our relationship. She was funny, intereating, compassionate, loving and accepting. She says she's matured since then and that I should do the same(we were 21 when we met and now we're 29) but if maturing means becoming such an unpleasant person I'm fine, thanks.
In summation I really don't know what to do. If things don't change I'll relapse back into heavy drinking drug use and gambling and she'll throw me out and I'll probably never see my son again. If you have ab any advice for me, please help.