Poetry Old Thing (a poem)

[MrsGamp]

Endless pity fear
Her breath stinks
He thinks

not like that with most of them

the warm body can be groped
but there's no call for a kiss
with ginger lips

above and behind, the fumes of God

soar, fly,rise

a million examples, invoke them with irony

two bottles of vodka
two hundred cigarettes

evil broils in there
somehow it never feels like mine

Spite, spite, spite. And sedatives.

This was the meat, low grade

He was relieved AND HE WAS RELIEVED AND HE IS RELIEVED

 

[MrsGamp]

ps called it "Old Thing" because it is an old thing - found it in an old diary. Suspect was written in my 20s. It seemed sort of fetching to me, but I can't tell - sentiment etc. HONEST opinion only please.

 

[Shady's Fox]

what

 

[MrsGamp]

what

yeah it is a bit cryptic shady:
maybe I will re-work it ... the
last line definitely needs to go.

 

[Shady's Fox]

Nah, I don't have you know like I don't have anything against this kind of literature but it seems idk with no left and right. Neverless you have potential and with a bit of training I think you could write some great fuckin stuff.

 

[MrsGamp]

Nah, I don't have you know like I don't have anything against this kind of literature but it seems idk with no left and right. Neverless you have potential and with a bit of training I think you could write some great fuckin stuff.

Thanks! Am working on it ...

 

[Shady's Fox]

and she works on u

^^ ur mrs gamp, it's normal for these type of things to occur but this is what makes u gamp.