October last straw

[sonicwhite]

I got flubromazolam last October. I was so out of it that my roommate would stash extra Norco for us pill count.

Well I was going in there getting 10 and 12 at a time. I would FaceTime my gf and be so out of it.


Well finally I dumped the benzo out and I walked in there and the pill bottle was empty. He said I came in there and took the whole bottle.

There was like 90 in there.

Well when I sobered up my heart sank and I asked myself am I dead now. Well I would go into this trance and think that the heavens and the earth would vanish and I would stand in front of Jesus and give an account.

Not a pleasant feeling thinking you died of a OD while being a Christian.


After awhile I thought that this was heaven. Everything seemed super enhanced.


It’s a strange but pleasant feeling when you think you have nothing else to worry about.


I flushed my psych meds down the toilet. I didn’t sleep for three weeks straight.

Guys why I’m writing this is because God knocked it into my head that if I stayed in that path you would see me in the shrine.


It just isn’t worth it.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

I got flubromazolam last October. I was so out of it that my roommate would stash extra Norco for us pill count.

Well I was going in there getting 10 and 12 at a time. I would FaceTime my gf and be so out of it.


Well finally I dumped the benzo out and I walked in there and the pill bottle was empty. He said I came in there and took the whole bottle.

There was like 90 in there.

Well when I sobered up my heart sank and I asked myself am I dead now. Well I would go into this trance and think that the heavens and the earth would vanish and I would stand in front of Jesus and give an account.

Not a pleasant feeling thinking you died of a OD while being a Christian.


After awhile I thought that this was heaven. Everything seemed super enhanced.


It’s a strange but pleasant feeling when you think you have nothing else to worry about.


I flushed my psych meds down the toilet. I didn’t sleep for three weeks straight.

Guys why I’m writing this is because God knocked it into my head that if I stayed in that path you would see me in the shrine.


It just isn’t worth it.

You're right, it isn't worth it. I was addicted to Etizolam and it would cause blackouts very quickly. During those blackouts, I would take my entire stash. This happened every single time I ordered some. I remember some embarrassing things I've done and the others I'm glad I don't remember.
There were bruises on my legs sometimes so I must've fallen. During my Etiz addiction is exactly when I became a believer. God showed me his fingerprints on the universe when I looked up at the stars at night. I've been off of Etiz for years and never going to look back.

RC benzos are very dangerous and you have absolutely no control of your actions. Thank God you're done with it!
You need to stay alive. You're here for a reason.

The good thing about being a Christian is that we're saved. I can't speak for God obviously, but we have salvation. That counts. Don't go back down that road though. Much love. ❤

 

[mal3volent]

I'm not religious, but I agree with you and CTC that it's not worth it.

Benzos take the suffering away but it's only temporary. I struggle with it myself.

Good luck

 

[ProfessrHyperdimensional]

Benzos take the suffering away but it's only temporary. I struggle with it myself.

I was searching for my mom's benzos today because they do make everything better. Like cloud 9 shit psychologically. Heck even physiologically. I am glad I didn't find any and more glad she didn't catch me snooping for them as that hurts her and I don't want to steal her pills.

 

[sonicwhite]

Yeah I started to feel really bad. Kevin is like a second dad. It broke my heart to see him suffer.

 

[TheDankness]

benzo w/d sucks, assuming thats what this is about, didnt read it but ahh, well sonic, glad u are doing well.

 

[sonicwhite]

Stimulate medicine takes my anxiety away 10 times better then Benzos and I’m prescribed klonopin, I only take as needed.