nancy145
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2014
- Messages
- 529
This is kind of embarrassing, but I watch some pretty hardcore porn, like gangbangs and stuff. I never thought it negatively impacted me or anything, it was just what I got off to.
I started microdosing LSD a few weeks back, and one night after taking a dose I had an absolutely horrific nightmare. A cult of men carrying guns broke into my home and gangraped a woman in front of me, and all I could do about it was tell my parents to stop them (I think that symbolized my overrelience on them). I was so incredibly scared and felt so horrible for the woman. My parents called the police and the dream ended when the cop cars pulled up.
Earlier that day, I was watching a compilation video, and finished right as a scene came on that was over the edge of what I enjoy, I found it rather disturbing. I think thats what caused the nightmare.
I know and always knew the difference between real sex and what happens in porn, but it wasn't until that nightmare that I realized how it influences your subconscious. I realized watching such extreme videos is unhealthy, and even though I know it's not real it still affects my brain in negative ways.
Since that nightmare, I've been trying (especially on microdosing days) to watch softer, more normal porn, and have actually been able to enjoy "vinilla" videos whereas I used to not be able to. I'm hoping to rewire my brain to like normal stuff again. Extreme porn is unhealthy for the subconscious, and if it wasn't for that LSD induced nightmare I wouldn't have realized it.
I just wanted to document this to help add data to potential effects of microdosing.
(Edit) a lot of people here are saying there's nothing wrong with watching hardcore porn, and that's true for many people. I don't believe that's true for me because I have trouble enjoying actual sex. Last time I hooked up with someone I had to lie about needing to get home because I was just bored. The way it wired my brain made it so I can't enjoy sex like most people.
I started microdosing LSD a few weeks back, and one night after taking a dose I had an absolutely horrific nightmare. A cult of men carrying guns broke into my home and gangraped a woman in front of me, and all I could do about it was tell my parents to stop them (I think that symbolized my overrelience on them). I was so incredibly scared and felt so horrible for the woman. My parents called the police and the dream ended when the cop cars pulled up.
Earlier that day, I was watching a compilation video, and finished right as a scene came on that was over the edge of what I enjoy, I found it rather disturbing. I think thats what caused the nightmare.
I know and always knew the difference between real sex and what happens in porn, but it wasn't until that nightmare that I realized how it influences your subconscious. I realized watching such extreme videos is unhealthy, and even though I know it's not real it still affects my brain in negative ways.
Since that nightmare, I've been trying (especially on microdosing days) to watch softer, more normal porn, and have actually been able to enjoy "vinilla" videos whereas I used to not be able to. I'm hoping to rewire my brain to like normal stuff again. Extreme porn is unhealthy for the subconscious, and if it wasn't for that LSD induced nightmare I wouldn't have realized it.
I just wanted to document this to help add data to potential effects of microdosing.
(Edit) a lot of people here are saying there's nothing wrong with watching hardcore porn, and that's true for many people. I don't believe that's true for me because I have trouble enjoying actual sex. Last time I hooked up with someone I had to lie about needing to get home because I was just bored. The way it wired my brain made it so I can't enjoy sex like most people.
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