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The needle and the damage done
December 23, 2008
Mirabel Foundation has been a vital source of support for Beth Parker, partner Paul and his grandchildren. Photo: Roger Cummins
Melbourne's Mirabel Foundation has helped thousands of children orphaned or abandoned by drug-addicted parents. Annie Lawson reports.
THREE years ago, Beth Parker savoured her double-income no-kids lifestyle with partner Paul. She ate out regularly and planned lazy weekends after a busy week managing staff at a prominent bank.
Then they visited Paul's daughter and grandchildren in Queensland, in January 2006. There they found a mother in the grip of a drug and alcohol-induced psychosis and a father who had succumbed to heroin addiction and was also incapable of looking after their two boys, then aged 2½ and nine. Campbell, who is now 12, and Sam, now five (not their real names), had grown accustomed to their mother and her partner (he is Sam's father but not Campbell's) scoring drugs as they sat in the back of the car. The drug-fuelled trips sometimes ended in a crash, one of which saw the parents hospitalised and the kids placed in care.
So it was that Parker, 40, and Paul, 54, decided to bring the kids back to Melbourne while the parents sought rehabilitation. It was supposed to be a temporary move, but that was the last time the children saw their parents.
Campbell, who had no contact with his father (his mother's first partner) adjusted well to the move, helped by the fact he had lived with his grandfather before. But Sam fretted whenever his brother wasn't around.
Nonetheless, Beth Parker is convinced it was the right move. "Much as it's awful for the boys to have no contact with their parents, it's better than negative contact," she says.
Still, she and Paul were glad to know they weren't alone. Having made the move to care for Paul's grandchildren, the couple sought help from the Mirabel Foundation, a Caulfield-based organisation that helps children abandoned or orphaned by drug-addicted parents and in the care of extended family members.
Mirabel celebrates its 10th anniversary this month, an achievement that founder Jane Rowe never could have envisaged when she started the organisation in December 1998.
Back then Rowe, 53, was working as a counsellor at Windana Drug and Alcohol Recovery Centre. She had four people on the waiting list for a place at Windana and one night the four went out together. One thing led to another and, says Rowe, "Two woke up and two died — and the two that died had young children."
Rowe was especially moved by the plight of one of the young boys left behind, who "lost all sense of family and belonging" when his mother died. "As they lowered his mother's coffin into the grave, he tried to throw himself in and said, 'Why are you taking my mummy?' He was taken away by social workers. That was a very haunting image for me."
She decided to stage a benefit concert to raise funds for the children, and drafted in singers Deborah Conway and Rebecca Barnard to help. It was such a success that she soon established the Mirabel Foundation in her St Kilda home, a kind of "boutique charity" tailored to kids of drug-addicted parents and their kinship carers.
"I never knew it would be this big," says Rowe, who received a Prime Minister's Centenary Medal and a 2005 Human Rights Award for her work.
Mirabel offers children counselling, gives them Christmas and birthday presents, arranges excursions and supports carers. Rowe's extensive contacts in entertainment ignited strong support from comedians and musicians, who feature in the fund-raising cookbooks Rock Chefs and Laughing Stock.
Rowe's upbringing in Britain was harmonious and loving, though she does refer vaguely to a "wild past" in London in the 1970s when she ran Richard Branson's mail-order business.
She moved to Australia in 1974, and six years later her marriage broke down, forcing her to rethink her career. Her time in London had sparked an interest in addiction, something she believes comes from a combination of genetics, personality and circumstance.
"More often than not, it's the child who finds their parents dead from an overdose and they think they should have taken better care of them," she says. "We help them work through the grief, let them know they weren't responsible and that their parents loved them very much.
"We explain that life can be tough but there are different ways of coping, and don't repeat the bad decision Mum or Dad made."
Rowe has spent the past decade lobbying federal and state governments for more kinship care assistance. Until recently, carers in Parker's situation were not eligible for any form of allowance, a situation Rowe acknowledges has marginally improved.
A less welcome change Rowe has witnessed is the rise of methamphetamine addiction. It is a nasty breed of drug, Rowe says, with appalling implications for the children of addicts. "It brings on drug-induced psychosis so we've got kids witnessing Mum being murdered or they have been a victim of their mother's violent boyfriend," she says. "The children are severely traumatised.
"If you're in the midst of a chronic addiction, you are not emotionally or physically able to parent. The children are angry, frustrated, aggressive, withdrawn. They are terrified of getting close to anyone and frightened about anyone they love dying. We are trying to prevent a child taking drugs later in life to push away the pain of their childhood."
Rowe, who has three children — James, 28, Jessica, 26, and Max, 16, — admits she is "spread thin". That her children are top priority helps her switch off in the evenings.
She has had her fair share of tragedy — her mother and ex-husband, to whom she remained close, both died recently.
"I've thought about how much grief and loss in the family impacts you, and if I'm struggling with it, it makes me more aware of the kids we work with that have that amount of loss without stability," she says.
"We have incredible success stories — a lot of kids want a career or to further their education. They will become better parents themselves and have a sense of community. We all have to have a sense of belonging, a sense of self and a sense of hope for the future."
http://mirabelfoundation.org.au
Left behind, but not forgotten
■ The Mirabel Foundation was founded 10 years ago to help the children of drug addicts, and their carers. Five years ago, the Victorian organisation expanded its activities to NSW.
■ In 2008, 657 children — 454 in Victoria and 203 in NSW — received help from Mirabel, 100 more than in 2007.
■ Patrons include Dr Patch Adams, Jimmy Barnes, Rachel Griffiths, Hazel Hawke, Ella Hooper, Ben Mendelsohn and Mikey Robins.
■ More than 80 per cent of Mirabel's $1.8 million income comes from corporate donations, fund-raisers and charitable trusts. Government contributes nearly $320,000 a year.
The Age
