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New to dating someone with a child

Mel22 said:
I would like to say that it amazes me that people are so quick to suggest beating the kid with a belt as a solution, but yeah...nah.
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Because a belt works. These days people want to scream "child abuse", but it's not. A "time out" doesn't work. I see people's kids run amuck and talk back to their parents. They're disrespectful. I wouldn't put up with it at all.
This kid hasn't had any form of discipline, he's a nightmare.
 
It is certainly possible that the kid is acting out so badly due to unresolved trauma for example, and it's dumb as fuck to suggest that striking a young child with an implement is a logical, healthy first step here.

The kid has had a shit childhood - an absent father, addicted mother, and fuck knows what else (maybe he's had too much of the ol belt already)....and yet, the only parenting failure you feel the need to point out and suggest they rectify is that they haven't hit the child enough?

Come on bruh, use your noggin a bit.
 
Mel22 said:
It is certainly possible that the kid is acting out so badly due to unresolved trauma for example, and it's dumb as fuck to suggest that striking a young child with an implement is a logical, healthy first step here.

The kid has had a shit childhood - an absent father, addicted mother, and fuck knows what else (maybe he's had too much of the ol belt already)....and yet, the only parenting failure you feel the need to point out and suggest they rectify is that they haven't hit the child enough?

Come on bruh, use your noggin a bit.
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I'm not a "bruh" and yeah, it's a messed up situation with the parents. Unfortunately there are many people who reproduce when they have no business doing so.
 
A belt ain't gonna rectify no "bad business." That's literally beating the child for what the parents did wrong.













Try abortion next time?
 
w01fg4ng said:
A belt ain't gonna rectify no "bad business." That's literally beating the child for what the parents did wrong.













Try abortion next time?
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Who needs to try abortion next time? The parents are a mess, that's true. In a more normal situation, a belt would work. Disagree all you want, I don't care.
 
Especially for a male child, a belt is only going to inflate natural violent tendencies.
 
Mel22 said:
You've said that he grew up without his father and that his mother had/has drug issues - sounds like the kid is struggling in a big way, and I hope someone in this boy's life can get him the help and guidance that he so clearly needs. I would like to say that it amazes me that people are so quick to suggest beating the kid with a belt as a solution, but yeah...nah.
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Where did she say the mother has drug issues? OP is the one struggling with PAWS right now. She didn't say the child's biological mother is an addict...unless I missed something.
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
Where did she say the mother has drug issues? OP is the one struggling with PAWS right now. She didn't say the child's biological mother is an addict...unless I missed something.
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Please turn your attention to post #12, m'lady. Altho now I'm reading over it, it seems that it may be OP's boyfriend who has been absent due to drug issues...

Either way, she stated that she wishes that the kid had a better childhood, so I assume it hasn't been great. Suggesting that the kid needs to be beaten based on the information available is just super duper silly br0.
 
Mel22 said:
Please turn your attention to post #12, m'lady. Altho now I'm reading over it, it seems that it may be OP's boyfriend who has been absent due to drug issues...

Either way, she stated that she wishes that the kid had a better childhood, so I assume it hasn't been great. Suggesting that the kid needs to be beaten based on the information available is just super duper silly br0.
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Yes. I see your point. I didn't realize the parents are so screwed up.
 
^5.

CoastTwoCoast said:
Unfortunately there are many people who reproduce when they have no business doing so.
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We also agree on this. I don't plan on having any children myself either - I will kill any and all that I ever find trying to grow inside of me without hesitation - but I do like them in general, and it makes mein heart hurt to hear about the little fuckers having to struggle like this one is.
 
Mel22 said:
^5.



We also agree on this. I don't plan on having any children myself either - I will kill any and all that I ever find trying to grow inside of me without hesitation - but I do like them in general, and it makes mein heart hurt to hear about the little fuckers having to struggle like this one is.
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At least we know we don't want children. I don't understand how unfit parents keep pumping them out. It's a human life, it's like they don't take it seriously. I actually did have an abortion last year because I don't want a kid struggling and suffering like I have in my life. I don't want to pass on my mental illness.
 
For me, the choice to have children or not brings with it a significant amount of both loss and gain no matter which way I go. I weighed up the potential pros and cons for quite some time, and decided that not having my own children is how I'm gonna play this.

I am also not open to dating anyone who has children. I would hope though that if I did choose differently and go the other way, I'd be clever and capable enough to train the cunts to be reasonable without having to resort to physically threatening and hurting them.
 
Mel22 said:
For me, the choice to have children or not brings with it a significant amount of both loss and gain no matter which way I go. I weighed up the potential pros and cons for quite some time, and decided that not having my own children is how I'm gonna play this.

I am also not open to dating anyone who has children, and I would hope that if I did have my own, I'd be clever and capable enough to train the cunts to be reasonable without having to resort to physically threatening and hurting them.
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Train the cunts. Haha I always knew I don't want kids.
 
You really want to bring a child into line? Learn from me folks.

My ex's daughter was always trying to fuck with me & try to get one over on me, at the start I took her shit but sadly for her one day she decided to mess with me when stoned & as she was young I came up with this horrific story about the evil lady that lives in the woods that likes to steal bad kids & make them work in slavery till they are dead OR she eats them, it worked very well too.

You want this kid into line? Tell them about about Baba Yaga & you can use Google to "back up" your case she is REAL & if the kid spits again Baba Yaga will come & eat the kid then use their head to decorate her garden. TRUST ME when you put fear into kids about evil witches & that kinda stuff they SCREAM in terror at the mere threat of calling up this evil entity.

 
If the kid plays up after being warned about Baba Yaga or another evil witch that likes to put kids into slavery or eat them etc this works too.
After warning the child about the evil lady that HATES kids & the child gives you shit again go record a voice note on your phone, do it is a fucked up voice & say about how hungry you are for roast childs leg etc, stash the phone behind the sofa etc & then let it play.

This works too, trust me kids will quickly fall into line with this kind of parental control.
 
Mel22 said:
For me, the choice to have children or not brings with it a significant amount of both loss and gain no matter which way I go. I weighed up the potential pros and cons for quite some time, and decided that not having my own children is how I'm gonna play this.

I am also not open to dating anyone who has children. I would hope though that if I did choose differently and go the other way, I'd be clever and capable enough to train the cunts to be reasonable without having to resort to physically threatening and hurting them.
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I was never opened to dating someone with kids but it happened. My boyfriend hasn't been in his sons life because at first she said the kid was someone else's and moved to Germany and married the guy.
My boyfriend found out it was his after hearing rumours and demanded a dna test . The child was 8 by then. My ex feels guilty that he didn't demand one in the first place but he was on drugs and believed her, thats where his guilt comes in. He got sober the day he found out and has been fighting since to see his son.
This is only his second year with him. And he knows as much about parenting then i do.
I did bring it up that something has to be done before the poor kid is to far gone. I wasn't going to metion it yet but his son told his grandmother to f off and my boyfriend kinda woke up
Thanks for all the replies though, i really appreciate it
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
I'm not a "bruh" and yeah, it's a messed up situation with the parents. Unfortunately there are many people who reproduce when they have no business doing so.
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Thats why i choose to not have kids. My life was too messed up to bring a child into it
 
@Lucy20 you seem serious about this guy, which is great. However, I just wanted to add the viewpoint that his kid isn’t just for summer, this kid is forever.

Right now it’s just the summer, but that could change for any number of reasons. If you stay with this guy, then you will end up being a caregiver/role model for his son, possibly year round.

I’m all about a kid having as many positive role models as possible, just tbc. I guess it’s just a question of how you feel about being committed to both of them.

Keep a place to go to for a breather; the kid does sound like a handful.
 
the dad needs to step up to the mark and provide boundaries

both you and the dad need to sit down and work out what you want those boundaries to be and be consistent with their enforcement

with multiple adults in charge always be on the same page


over time the boy will change

the real mum is obviously providing no real boundaries

he needs limits
 
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