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New one here..

bongdong

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Hello folks, new dude here, although not so new to psychoactive substances..

I was thinking about joining a related community for quite some time now and it seems, this is the place. We'll see how it goes. I was more or less active in different forums in the past but they all come and go as time flies by.

Like most, i live in a country where a productive discussion about the subject is sabotaged by political propaganda, economic agendas and oppressed by criminalization. I also don't have and had many/any people in my life with whom i can be real about my interest in this; so i hope to meet and exchange with people who are open about it (so i can be too), expand my horizon and continue to learn and perhaps contribute a thing or two. Maybe even write down some trip reports since i enjoy and find it enlightened to read other peoples subjective experience and interpretation of things and the idea of leaving some of my own experience behind for psychonauts to come seems appealing.

I introduced myself to non-government-promoted drugs in my early twenties (am in my late 30's now) out of sheer curiosity, wanting to know first hand, exploring reality and the mind this way. Not wanting to harm me and others i aim to be informed about it, or at least not particularly stupid. I am also interested traditional use of plants for fun, medicinal and shamanic purposes to come to terms with the human condition we each find ourselfs in.

Sounds fancy and mature, right? And it's not even false, only kind of cherry-picky. Talking about 'being open', huh? I'm sure nothing but another self-centered asshole with a rigid ego stumbling on this spinning rock and i certainly had my fair share of fuck-ups despite knowing better most of the time. But i do think that the fallout was/is relatively modest, due to factual education on my part and thats why i see myself aligned with the goals of this community: don't judge, provide facts, discuss, help.

As one might guess, i'm interested in philosophy, nature, integrating myself in an natural environment, reading, some sports, photography, somewhat spiritual but not esoteric, technology to certain degrees, creative stuff in general and other things..

That seems to be it for now, have good day.
 

PtahTek

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I'm sure nothing but another self-centered asshole with a rigid ego stumbling on this spinning rock and i certainly had my fair share of fuck-ups despite knowing better most of the time.
Fairly sure you have hit the jackpot of what is dsecribed above. :)
Welcome to BL, friend.
Thanks for signing up to help keep the spinning rock spinning and us stumblers stumbling. ;) Hell of a website IMO as it affords life to us that can find it no-where else (speaking from my life... cannot say what others may get here).
A pleasure to meet ya and whatever it is one is seeking my wishes are that you find it and more.
Be well and safe, ya heard? lol
Peace
 

madness00

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@bongdong - cool username ;)

You ARE seemingly mature, which is coo'.

You sound like the type of nonjudgemental people that this community is run by (i don't mean moderation staff i mean bluelighters, including moderation staff, lol).

Well anyway im curious about your drug of choice. Mine is weed and meth, haven't used meth in a month though, weed daily.

Welcome to Bluelight! Poke around and ask if you have any questions.
 

bongdong

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monkeybody
Hi PtahTek, madness00 and Coffeeshroom, thanks for your welcoming words i appreciate that :)

My drug(s) of choice? Well, it depends. Back in the day it was mostly about opening up the mind, amplifying, exploring etc. As the years went by and life started to kick me in the face harder, i also came to cherish soothing, dissociating and more closing substances.

Long story short, i do like cannabis. Dark chocolate. I'm somewhat fond of kratom. And also in favor of the classic psychedelics, although i wouldn't put them in the 'drug of choice'-category since their effect can differ so greatly due to many factors (at least for me), also being ..really far-out, if you know what i mean.

I do think that a healthy, or lets say a sustainable, rich lifestyle with those listed obove is possible and somewhat realistic (for me), but certainly not garanteed. There are also substances or practices that i would be willing to do/try under the right conditions, sort of a todo-list. But there are also a set of groups of drugs i don't plan on fucking with, e.g. antidepressants, highly potent opiates/opioids, benzodiazepines, amphetamines. I've done some of them, not all and there are probably exceptions.

To be clear, in my worldview, no plant or compound is illegal, evil or even good per se! These just aren't inherent properties of things. It's what we make of/with them. If you dose water incorrectly, it will kill you! I'm sorry for the rant but i think it might be useful for you to know from which angle i'm coming from at the moment.

Looking at the physical plane, someone once said:
"Cognition, consciousness, the workings of the brain, it's all chemically mediated, whether by endo- or exogenous compounds. Life itself is a drug experience." Dennis McKenna
@madness00: Is methamphetamine something you (can) use recreational? Which way do you take it? It's probably already written somewhare, i should (and will) do some reading in the forum first i guess.

Have a good day y'all.
 
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madness00

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I like that - "life in itself is a drug experience".

Happy to hear you know what you like and are sticking to it, despite the curiosity of harder drugs that you know could ruin lives. That is, if that's the reason you don't fuck with them.

If i have meth i will use it, but i can go without it for long periods. I don't think i could ever take it recreationally, but if prescribed Desoxyn or any other potent amphetamine i think id have the self control to steadily use instead of binge. TBH the comedown from pharma grade amps is worse than meth, IMO.

To answer your 2nd question i use the needle with meth. Very first time i tried meth i shot it. First drug i ever slammed. It was very intense.

But I've been strictly smoking weed recently and it really is a wonder drug. No rush.. But actually helps me enjoy the small things in life whereas on meth all i cared about was myself and getting off.

Hopefully this curbs your curiosity. Again, good on you for picking the drugs that can more or less help see the world in different lights. That's pretty cool.

@bongdong
 

bongdong

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Hey again, thanx for sharing.
..are sticking to it, despite the curiosity of harder drugs that you know could ruin lives. That is, if that's the reason you don't fuck with them.
Yes, you're right. Kratom afaik isn't an opiate, but partially docks at the respective receptor and i personally seem to feel it quite powerful, contrary to what many people report. So i have the feeling that i would love some potent opioids, perhaps too much? (Of course, if i break myself some legs i wouldn't turn down appropriate amounts of hospital-grade heroin.) And the whole black market thing, not knowing what one gets, toxic extenders, danger of ODs etc. And benzos, i didn't find particularly "exciting" (i only had Diazapem, Bromazepam and one other i think), but i know when life sucks, they can provide release, seem to be readily available, no/few side effects at first, great synergies but potential dangerous and unpredictable in combination with other stuff, ..and down it goes, and withdrawal is supposed to be hell, worse than opiates. Nope, thanks! Life is hard enough as it is. Antidepressants are a whole story on their own, sadly many will know. And most amphetamines are kind of hard on the body and pretty addictive too, with meth being kind of the poster-child for me (sorry if i'm wrong, i am not that informed in that domain), but under somewhat controlable conditions i would perhaps give MDMA a try.

So i'm not going religios about it, i just try to apply some common sense and it's still my personal opinion surely not everybody will share. And it's not all shiny either. I managed to do noids for a brief period of time. Not a clever idea in retrospect, but what can one do. I also got accustomed to weed and kratom as well at one point, but i now see this as quite a valuable learning experience regarding a lot of things! And now i know what these withdrawals are like for me and that its not the end of the world but certainly something to consider. Maybe it sounds strange, but the negative side effects kind of balances things out for me too, but do not really cause serious harm. Too bad that the government sees this different.

Sorry for rambling, have a good one.
 

madness00

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MDMA has a bad comedown IME.

Yeah one may be able to learn a lot on those softer drugs. For me weed is eye opening and cathartic.

Happy smoking.
 

PtahTek

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I'm somewhat fond of kratom.
Yeah... I think kratom (along with SO and BL) saved the world from my destructive behaviours. Glad I found it as I am truly proficient at fucking shit up.
I was thinking of this early AM before I went to sleep:
self-centered asshole with a rigid ego
Although I know this fits me... I also feel that without these types a lot of us would have been gone long ago; we just don't fucking give in. :sus:
So saying, my mind wandered a bit and I *saw that there were at least two "sides" to this egotistical phenom: One tries to "save" the world and the other... well, let's take a look around, eh? My nemesis are those who oppose our evolution and do whatever they can to destroy every thing around us. Sadly (maybe? ), I have been both. This affords a situation that helps with insight, knowledge and appreciation for who it is I am at war with; myself. One day (hopefully) I can come to terms and work out a peace treaty with I-self as the battle has taken a huge toll and left me confused, broken and hardened. A work in progress for another 10,000 eons? Fuck me. =D
I appreciate your *style of writing, it is somewhat open and honest. Thanks as it helps foster something in me that needs fine-tuning.
If one can... avoid the needle at all cost as it is a very addictive ROA and probably the most deadly. Stick around a while and help some brothas and sistas out?
Be easy,
Ptah
 

bongdong

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monkeybody
Hello D's, thank you. Your crab looks beat-up, soggy eyes, missing a tong and stuff.. :eek:
Yeah... I think kratom (along with SO and BL) saved the world from my destructive behaviours. Glad I found it as I am truly proficient at fucking shit up.
I can relate to that! As i had a really low point/stretch, it might have saved me from more dramatic stuff/actions too, even though it caused some trouble in itself or at least delayed possible progress. I think thats one of the things that "normal" society is not willing to consider (demonization is too convenient and lucrative), that self-medication and off-label drugs can in fact do some good or prevent worse too. Anyway. What do you mean by "SO" and "BL" (Bluelight?), "ROA"? Sorry i'm not yet so familiar with all the abbreviations being used. Ad fucking shit up: See, everybody is good at something! *joking*
Yeah one may be able to learn a lot on those softer drugs. For me weed is eye opening and cathartic.
I'm sure you know that, but cannabis can be a full-blown psychedelic too. Found that out the hard way.. o_O

As i was browsing through different not necessary drug related sections of the forum, i read something. My mind already preparing to bring forth the intellectual sledgehammer, i recognized this pattern which got me into quarrels more than once before. So i thought it might save us some unnecessary tribulation if i address this here at once.

First, i do think free speech is paramount, fuck safe spaces. Everyone should be allowed to communicate their perls of wisdom as well as their idiocy. I respect people or at least try to, but i'm not willing to respect bad ideas; and why should anybody? I certainly don't have an informed opinion on everything and 'not knowing' is first of all just a state to be in. I think there is no real problem when an idea or theory gets demolished in discourse, on the contrary. Isn't that i.a. how progress is made? I usually get into trouble when topics revolve around ideology and faith etc., then things often start to become personal. So, disclaimer: I'm not actively out to be sarcastic and cynical on people, but some views, ideas, believes deserve it. And when there is identification with them, things get nasty and people butthurt. Of course, one not unwise and diplomatic way to avoid that is to just stay away and/or be tolerant, ..work in progress.

Greetings
 

bongdong

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Hello Atelier3, and thanks.
... Do you have a favourite philosopher academically or even one that guides your life in a real sense?
Hm, not exactly. I have a hard time "belonging", in real life as well as intellectually, if you know what i mean? I take what makes sense, what i can understand, what works and leave what i cannot accept or comprehend.

Not sure if philosophy could be/have been something academically for me; probably not smart enough and i was/am kind of a late developer. It serves more a practical purpose for me: trying to make sense of the world, gather some hints as to whether there is actually a meaning to all this and if there is a way to purposefully pull off such a human existance. (I'm aware that many people consider different things as practical.)

After an odyssey of shedding my religious indoctrination, dabbling with classic european philosophers of the last centuries, reading some early psychedelic explorers ideas, hassle with school-psychology, plunging into eastern religions, looking at some contemporary spirituality, discarding a bunch of nonsense along the way ..i would say, besides some hardcore Theravada Buddhism, Alan Watts and Jiddu Krishnamurti influenced me quite a bit. In themselfs but they also helped me to connect a lot of loose dots i collected on my journey, if that makes sense to you? And obviously drugs are not yet out of the equation too, whether for exploration or to ease the pain/suffering momentarily.

Do you wrestle seriously with philosophy? Do you have people who changed you or from whom you derive a set of working principles or guidelines?

Have a great weekend y'all. 🚲
 

Atelier3

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Hey @bongdong - I’ve always been interested in ideas and regret not studying philosophy at Uni. I find reading a lot of philosophers a bit turgid (ever tried Heidegger?) and time consuming in my busy drug fuelled life so I listen a lot to history of philosophy podcasts - especially when I can’t sleep or there is nothing interesting happening on Bluelight at 3 AM. My favourites are The Partially Examined Life, Philosopy Bites and Philosophize This.

Probably the Existentialists have influenced me the most - I have come to believe in the necessity of making choices about who you are in an absurd world and then owning those choices. We can be whomever we decide to be but not everyone has the insight or the courage to seize that potential. I also like the Enlightenment thinkers who thought about how to have both a prosperous and morally good society - people like Mill and Locke. Just lately I’ve been reading people like Isiah Berlin and John Rawls in the hope of developing some clearer ideas about what freedom and justice really mean in the modern world.

That said, I find there is at least some merit in just about all the philosophers I learn about either through listening to interpretations in podcasts or actually reading them directly,
 

PtahTek

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SO > significant other
BL > bluelight
ROA > Route Of Administration

Sorry... was on mobile as pc has been housed by SO. ;)
I am working on not being lazy as we tend to think others are where we at as far as life, I believe: Expecting others to be like us, think the way we do and live life like we live. Again... my apologies. Breaking out of *bad habits when exposed or recognized is a game I play with myself and often-times win. :)
Peace
 

bongdong

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Late, but still..

@Atelier3 ..sounds interesting and thanx, i'll check out some of your suggestions. And agreed, really chewing through one philosopher after another can get dry pretty quick. For understanding alone, it's overkill too i think. But at university you kind of have to do it i guess, struggle with the original texts and the often puffed up language of that period (..was forced to read some Kant in school). I never really 'did' Heidegger by the way. But to get an overview of stuff i find i.a. the Oxford VSI series has some neat/useable titles in it.

Ad podcasts: you may laugh but i only got to value them about 3/4 year ago. I hurt my knee, so instead of running, i started walking in nature (to keep me reasonably sane; my overall life situation is not the greatest..), then COVID-19 lockdown came and then i escaped listening to podcasts/lectures/discussions on my extended hikes. This deceleration, nature, no other distractions is really ideal for going into some deeper stuff. Now i'm able to run again, which i'm grateful for, but this is too stimulating/varied for actually following a conversation, so..

I've been traveling on the existentialist rail too for some time. You seem to have noble intentions; good for you ..and the world! But idealism is a double-edged sword i find. Looking back, i'd say that contact with Buddhism/meditation changed my direction/interest the most, for the better or worse. But in general, all this pondering.. i don't know man, made me even more of a misfit and loner.

@PtahTek Thanks for helping me out, no need to be sorry. You're not lazy, just efficient ;) You all are very welcoming, i have to say..

Greetings 👾
 

bongdong

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monkeybody
PS.: About two weeks ago i found a bag with some leftover biak in it, at least five years old and certainly not more than 5g (didn't weigh). I wasn't expecting anything and almost about to throw it away instantly, but i gave it a go and it was surprisingly effective. After finding a new vendor very close to my location i got me a view samples. Am enjoying one right now :whistle: It has been over a year now since my last real turn, i almost forgot how nice this is..
 

Psycho_Logic

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Trying to find my self but unable so far.
Welcome to Bluelight :) As was mentioned already, love your way of expessing. :) It is direct, seems honest enough and it is what it is. Sounds like me in my native and I regret every day that I can not express myself here like I would like to, as my native is from Slavic (South) language group. We are all egocentric brats it is just the question how honest one is with oneself. I am sure one of those that fit the description and am glad we belong together into at least two clubs - "admittedly egocentric" and "bluelight". That's more than enough for starters. So, once again - welcome, it is a pleasure. :)
 

PtahTek

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@PtahTek Thanks for helping me out, no need to be sorry. You're not lazy, just efficient ;) You all are very welcoming, i have to say..
Hey... imma little behind myself. Been overdoing it lately on ilicits.
Nah...I'm lazy. :oops: I dont mind workin but writing is not my strong point.
OK... I will refrain from being sorry (unless otherwise warranted). Repentance. ;)
 

PtahTek

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@PtahTek Thanks for helping me out, no need to be sorry. You're not lazy, just efficient ;) You all are very welcoming, i have to say..
Hey... imma little behind myself. Been overdoing it lately on ilicits.
Nah...I'm lazy. :oops: I dont mind workin but writing is not my strong point.
OK... I will refrain from be sorry (unless otherwise warranted). Repentance. ;)
 
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