• Hello Graphic
    NEW MEMBER'S GUIDE
    INTRODUCE YOURSELF
    YOUR FAVORITE DRUGS?
    WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

  • NMI Moderators: Snafu in the Void

New here hi everyone!

B

berryal

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
10
Hi!

My name's Berry and I love codeine, cannabis and valium. Hola all. Currently in recovery, or trying to be at least.. Also here for advice on how to safely use the above substances. :)
 
Hi there Berry! Welcone yo BL. I am new too.

You make a great choice in joining BL if you want to get tips for recovery and harm reduction. Here in BL you probably find it all. I can see you really like downers, I am more an stimulant and psychedelic guy. But some times I like Clonazepam in small dose to relax or to sleep a bit, most be similar to Valium. My best advice for recovery is to have in mind that you may do it again and is not something to feel bad about it. Just stop an go back on recovery!

Have fun!
 
TropicalPsychedelicBear said:
Hi there Berry! Welcone yo BL. I am new too.

You make a great choice in joining BL if you want to get tips for recovery and harm reduction. Here in BL you probably find it all. I can see you really like downers, I am more an stimulant and psychedelic guy. But some times I like Clonazepam in small dose to relax or to sleep a bit, most be similar to Valium. My best advice for recovery is to have in mind that you may do it again and is not something to feel bad about it. Just stop an go back on recovery!

Have fun!
Click to expand...
Yeah have always been much more into downers and I do enjoy stimulants but they don't really match up with the things I enjoy doing with my time. I think that last bit you said is such good advice! People think relapsing once is a terrible thing but one time ain't a dealbreaker, i think. Thanks man :)
 
Hey @berryal,

How is recovery going? What caused you to start it? Do you go to meetings?

I too am in recovery (because of probation) but think i'll throw all my sobriety key chains in the trash once probation ends.

I respect you decision, and check out Health and Recovery if you'd like support in sobriety.

Welcome to Bluelight!

Peace!
 
madness00 said:
Hey @berryal,

How is recovery going? What caused you to start it? Do you go to meetings?

I too am in recovery (because of probation) but think i'll throw all my sobriety key chains in the trash once probation ends.

I respect you decision, and check out Health and Recovery if you'd like support in sobriety.

Welcome to Bluelight!

Peace!
Click to expand...
Hey madness,

My recovery is okay, but not as good as I'd like. I've been using for about 8 years on and off different things, primarily cannabis that long but in the past 3 or 4 years more codeine and way too much alcohol, with occasional months of binging on benzos. I also have past problems with self harming, mostly on my knuckles (I used to punch sandpaper, ouch) and a few cuts here and there.

The wake up call that started my recovery was to do with when i first met this friend of mine at the beginning of this year and he told me he had a friend that was suicidal and asked me to talk to this girl and see if i could help or give any advice etc. and I was a proper depressed substance abusing mess at the time and said i couldnt because i was in some kind of recovery myself. When I saw him about 8 weeks ago I asked about her and he said she was dead. A 21 year old girl had taken her life and i'd refused to help because i was such a mess. It was the right decision on my part, i think, but my lack of effort due to my own shit produced so much guilt inside me it started eating me up. I binged hard on valium/coke/alcohol/weed/codeine that night and carved the first letter of her name into my thigh with a knife to remind myself never to give up on anyone, which made me feel temporarily better (mostly just numb to everything). The next day just felt even more guilty for it. So i decided i would try and sort my shit out a bit.

I work weekly with a girl that works at a rehab clinic, but haven't started going to NA meetings yet, though I intend on it. I love using my substances of choice, but i hate that it affects the way i treat people and the amount i can give to the world. My own self destruction doesn't really bother me but I have a very addictive side to me and I can't help but affect others, which I hate really.

That's me in a nutshell :)
 
if drugs loved me as much as i loved them, i'd be married by now, but i'm single go figure. welcome
 
Well Berry, I know this is not much but maybe you should not take such a burden on yourself. I might not know the full situation, but you can't help anybody if you are in a bad place yourself. From anecdotes I read and heard, drug problem increase when are used for dealing with mental problems. My tip, don't do drugs for those problems, you have worth. Can you tamper your drug use? Because sometimes cold-Turkey can be worse. I tried 5 times to quit smoking CT and relapse in about a month. I started to used less cigarette, then changed to a nicotine salts vaporizer and lowered the dose when got some vape juice, one day I noticed that I haven't used the vape in 3 days and today I have been 3 weeks free and not having cravings. Benzos and alcohol are a risky mix, watch out! About self mutilation well I don't approve it but I am not your mother.

About Rehab, go if you most do.

On an more personal note (and I don't know if I am going to far) you're a good person by I read and feel. Get the time to learn how to love yourself, because no one will. Get yourself in track for recovery! Wish you best of success!
 
TropicalPsychedelicBear said:
Well Berry, I know this is not much but maybe you should not take such a burden on yourself. I might not know the full situation, but you can't help anybody if you are in a bad place yourself. From anecdotes I read and heard, drug problem increase when are used for dealing with mental problems. My tip, don't do drugs for those problems, you have worth. Can you tamper your drug use? Because sometimes cold-Turkey can be worse. I tried 5 times to quit smoking CT and relapse in about a month. I started to used less cigarette, then changed to a nicotine salts vaporizer and lowered the dose when got some vape juice, one day I noticed that I haven't used the vape in 3 days and today I have been 3 weeks free and not having cravings. Benzos and alcohol are a risky mix, watch out! About self mutilation well I don't approve it but I am not your mother.

About Rehab, go if you most do.

On an more personal note (and I don't know if I am going to far) you're a good person by I read and feel. Get the time to learn how to love yourself, because no one will. Get yourself in track for recovery! Wish you best of success!
Click to expand...
Thanks for that, that's kind of you to say. I always have a guilty concience really, not sure why. Life is just.. Difficult. Slowly trying to treat myself better, and hopefully those around me too. Took a crap ton of Codiene today but trying not to relapse any harder. Yeah Benzos are bad with a lot of things, used to get told off by my nurse friend for using xanax with cocaine all the time lol, that was probably a stupid mixture. Gonna catch some rest anyway. Peace
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top