So OK the thread has been bumped twice so I'm going to jump on the opportunity.
I'm trying to come off Clonazepam AND Tramadol at the same time. I'm not sure the reasons as to why I first started the trams and then the Clonazepam need to be explained and I'm not sure this is the best move I can make, but I have this urgency right now to move on with my life and lay off ALL the drugs (recreational or not).
Fact is that I started taking trams in last September and Clonazepam one month ago.
I tried Tramadol at variable doses but the best for me, as an A/D, was in the 50-100 mg range. Tried way over it but didn't like it at all when the opiate effects become too prominent: I like uppers and dislike downers and finding myself nodding off 400 mg and itching Tramadol just did not feel right. I've already tried too withdraw from Tramadol, and beside the crazy RLS stuff and the bad sleep, after only a few weeks at this dose, that was pretty much manageable. But I always went back to Tram, because I feelt to depressed without it.
I started Clonazepam around Christmas and used it pretty much every day since then: to help with my sleep, with the stress and also as a mean to come down from an epic coke binge around NYE. Yeah I know, coke and Tramadol is a big no-no, but I wanted to have it off right? Dose ranging from 1mg /day to maybe 2.5 mg per day.
I decided on very short notice, i.e. Tuesday, 3 days ago, that I had to get off these drugs. First I felt that my depression had improved a lot lately, and that I had been able, at last, to take the right decisions (such as making the decision to lay off ALL drugs for a while, including the recreational ones). And secondly, horrifically enough, because my Tramadol supply stopped abruptely after my mother, probably, took notice of how fast her Tramadol supply had been dwindling lately and took (still probably) the step to hide it in some other place or plainly put it away. Of course, this was NOT to be asked, bc, the sheer fact of inquiring would have immediately given me away to her. Not too smart, but why not take the opportunity to discontinue it, once and for all.
So here I am: I discontinued Tramadol on Tuesday. I am actually surprised as to how easily I've gotten away with it so far. Maybe the Clonazepam (and a few Alprazolam tabs added in the mix) must have help with the crazy restless leg syndrome, that I had experienced the previous times.
And in a boldly move, I also decided to discontinue the Clonazepam the same day. I.e. I decided that my last dose would be the one I had taken on Monday. Here the story gets a bit more twisted.
After being unable to sleep at all on Wednesday night and until 5 am on Thursday night I got mad and decided to take 0.5 mg to see if that would help with the insomnia. It did, and I slept till 1 pm (thank God I could afford it that day...).
Yesterday I went to bed at 11pm and waited but sleep was again elusive. Around 1 am I went mad again but decided to go with half a bottle of red wine. Never mind that what should have been one bottle of wine turned into the whole bottle, at least I was able to have 4 hours of bad, agitated sleep. And a bad hangover the following morning, unable to stay up and having to call in sick at work. Around 1pm, I felt better, did a little cleaning in my home and even decided to work at the library from 4pm.
This is where it gets really wierd because around that time I really felt like I was coming on a mix of speed/MDMA:
- dry mouth
- ridiculously enlarged pupils. If you want to have an idea of how large just check at my avatar: but instead of being dilated in full light, MDMA-wise, my pupils were only shockingly enlarged only in semi dark surroundings
- I noted that at 4 pm I had not eaten since yesterday but did not felt hungry. I forced myself to eat something though
- breathing felt hugely pleasurable just as it is on any stim I know, esp. in the cold air (just above the freezing point today here)
- a wave of euphoria around the time I was supposed to check into the library.
- tongue constantly pressing against the teeth and the ceilling which is a dead giveaway of stim use for people who know me.
Is that really atypical for a benzo withdrawal? That is if my withdrawal started at all given that I took 0.5 mg again less than 48 hours ago. Or could that be the mix of withdrawing simultaneously from Tram and benzo? Or is that yet another hint that I am really over the depression?
I don't mind being fucked up and sleepless for the week-end. The thing is: I need to be top notch next Tuesday, when I am going to adress an amphitheater full of students talking about materials I only just learned in the last 2 weeks...
If any onyone could enlighten me...