• NMI Moderators: Snafu in the Void

My Story: New me , New Music

Tesh_G

Greenlighter
Joined
May 2, 2020
Messages
1
Hello everyone, I am new here, I am a recovering Alcoholic and Drug Addict and also inspiring to be a rapper lol here is my story:
A little back story.. I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I have been heavily drinking since around the age of 21 and I have been using drgs on and off for the last 2-3 year, the last 10-11 months being extremely heavy use.

I have lost countless friends. I have lost of the best jobs I have ever had and was unable to hold on the a job that was way below what I am capable of. I have stolen from family members. I have lost every ounce of trust in anything I say to them. I have hurt and lost the women who have tried to love and stay by my side. Most recently I pushed my own family to the brink of cutting me off for good. If you know my family, then you know that we are not squeamish and that is a hard thing to do. The family member who has never given up on me was there once again to catch me saved me.

Problly the worst thing I had down was how far I had let my self get from God. I felt hate and blamed him for a lot of what was happening to me, down to the point where I no longer believed that he was there and if he was, he sure didn’t care about me. I was consider “helpless” in my addiction and my family was just waiting for the call.

I am 27 years old and I can proudly say that, for the first time in at least 6 years, I am 26 days sober. A huge part of the reason being that I had completely hit bottom, and I felt as if I only had one option. I gave up trying to control my life, and I gave my self to His will. I cant believe it myself. There were days that I knew qhat was happening to my body and my heath and it was like I had made up my mind, I wasn’t going to stop.

The reason I share this story is because I have finished my album and I will be posting it with this. If you listen to is then you will realize there were some dark moments, but I did try to end it on a happier note. Also for anyone else who is struggling out there. I truly hope that this finds you. If my mindset could be changed the way I have seen it change these last few weeks, then I truly believe that anyone can do it.

It will not always be easy .. I am realizing that this is going to be something that I battle for the rest of my life, but for the first time, I am seeing that this fight is worth it.. I AM WORTH THE FIGHT FOR SOBRIETY. You are to.. If your are lost PLEASE get yourself.. There IS someone out there who loves you with all of there heart, you DO matter to someone… I promise there is someone who is dying to let you back into their lives. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you sit there and watch someone you love killing themselves, when you know they are the only ones who can save themselves.. I cant say that I could. Please stay Healthy and Please stau Sober! I hope you guys enoy the music. Love you
 
Hello. Tesh_G,
Welcome to BL and aslo the greates show on earth. ;)
Glad to have ya and look forward to hearing your beats. Since one is at status of greenlighter one may have to wait ti bluelight status til a link or the like can be inserted if irc.
Shoot me a PM would honestly love to hear something original and new. ;)
I have been using drgs on and off for the last 2-3 year, the last 10-11 months being extremely heavy use.
If ya got what it takes and feel healthy enough to not use drugs then by all means stay the course. Noticing there are just a few years of use, mis-use/abuse... one has plenty of time to mend relationships, trust and self-respect. Take it easy and don't be too rough on yourself as this is a mind trick to get one back to a comfort zone that got us here in the first place.
Appears most your angst are worked out by the following data:
for the first time, I am seeing that this fight is worth it.
What makes it worth struggling to you personally?
promise there is someone who is dying to let you back into their lives. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you sit there and watch someone you love killing themselves, when you know they are the only ones who can save themselves.. I cant say that I could.
The ol' walk a mile in their shoes analogy: Love it. Maybe shows empathy, open-mindedness and common-sense. Great qualities to posses, IMO.
Stick around for a while... wish C2C was around to engage this conversation. Sadly she is "part-time" ATM but hoping she comes back soon.
One love,
Ptah
 
Hi @Tesh_G - welcome to Bluelight!

You may want to check out Health and Recovery - a lot of supportive members over there.

I'm glad you have at least found god once in your life. That's awesome. I'm not sure I'll ever have such a connection - maybe it's what im missing ;)

I have lost a lot from drugs and alcohol too, and I'm sure many will be able to relate to you in our open minded and non judgemental community.

Welcome to it!
 
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