I also have wife living with me. And kids.Rightly done.
Getting used to do coke alone at home for the pleasure or it and just me and the coke and go back with the wife to that amazing conversation you will start to hate after 30 minutes (until you do another line) In my case I hope when the fucking covid is gone I can break a bit this circle, travel to see my family back in the motherland, get out, do things and hopefully the coke will be less present then.
I've been off coke one week now, but tomorrow is going to be the day... if I can stay on a once a week use I'll be happy short term. Long term only way is quitting.
I have not been under influence of coke when I am with her. Maybe I will, but currently I would not find pleasure in doing that. My dynamic is that coke "parties" are the release, which enables me to be more functional with wife and kids. She asked if I was under influence one particular evening and I was proud to say "no" and that feels like commitment. Though I would do it if I felt I want to. Though it is hard for me to imagine I would want that - party and "family and wife" mode are very different things.