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My plan to avoid excess of cocaine use

jimdron

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 28, 2017
Messages
267
Location
Vienna, Austria-Hungary
Rightly done.

Getting used to do coke alone at home for the pleasure or it and just me and the coke and go back with the wife to that amazing conversation you will start to hate after 30 minutes (until you do another line) In my case I hope when the fucking covid is gone I can break a bit this circle, travel to see my family back in the motherland, get out, do things and hopefully the coke will be less present then.

I've been off coke one week now, but tomorrow is going to be the day... if I can stay on a once a week use I'll be happy short term. Long term only way is quitting.
I also have wife living with me. And kids.

I have not been under influence of coke when I am with her. Maybe I will, but currently I would not find pleasure in doing that. My dynamic is that coke "parties" are the release, which enables me to be more functional with wife and kids. She asked if I was under influence one particular evening and I was proud to say "no" and that feels like commitment. Though I would do it if I felt I want to. Though it is hard for me to imagine I would want that - party and "family and wife" mode are very different things.
 

dalpat077

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Joined
Oct 14, 2019
Messages
1,162
I am not sure about this statement, so I am interested in responses. The idea of "healthy person would not enjoy coke" statement is that to enjoy coke one should have some kind of deprivation - lack of enjoyment (relaxation?) in "normal" life. Maybe this is my fantasy, but my idea of normal (non-drugged) life is that I am getting enough enjoyment from normal life and taking drugs if I am "normal" individual is too intense and not experienced as "desirable", but more as "strestfull".

Sorry, probably I am too much into *my* psychic "whatever". But here is the nut of this idea - for psychologically healthy person drugs are too intense and experienced as "stress" and not all "nice".
Well I dunno then. Maybe I'm just an anomaly. During all of my (use) career such using was only ever an extension of what was already a grand time and in order to enhance such grand time. Never went near the stuff when things were a bit off or having a lousy day or something like that.

Getting into addiction while documenting it here feels more "controlled" than not writing about it. Writing is thinking, it is good to think about what one does. Especially if it is addiction.

Though my working hypothesis is that addiction is over-rated and one should look elsewhere. I repeat that all the time, sorry :).
No offense but I think you're on shaky ground in thinking that writing about it is a form of control. From a harm reduction point of view: maybe. But seems to me you're not really interested in that side of things. And I'll be brutally honest here when I say that even I'm very surprised at how far down the road you've gone and in such a short space of time with this stuff especially given your circumstances as you've described (and I have no option but to take them at face value as I don't know you from a bar of soap). In just thinking about it though: maybe you've hit the nail squarely on the head in your original post and as quoted initially above i.e. your reasons for using are far removed from what mine were.

I'm not sure what to make of your working hypothesis i.e. "addiction is over-rated"? You'll have to explain that one to me I'm afraid.
 

usual-suspect

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
I also have wife living with me. And kids.

I have not been under influence of coke when I am with her. Maybe I will, but currently I would not find pleasure in doing that. My dynamic is that coke "parties" are the release, which enables me to be more functional with wife and kids. She asked if I was under influence one particular evening and I was proud to say "no" and that feels like commitment. Though I would do it if I felt I want to. Though it is hard for me to imagine I would want that - party and "family and wife" mode are very different things.
Well in my case is totally different, I can mix both, but more because I have no other option. Only thing is I try to cut down the use to small bumps while with the wife, but also I have done big lines because I knew there wouldn't be another chance in 2 hours, and is not pleasant, if I start feeling I am too high, usually pull off some excuse like going out for a walk or "now is the time o clean that rust under the sink" so I can be alone and doing something for a while.
 

usual-suspect

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
Well I dunno then. Maybe I'm just an anomaly. During all of my (use) career such using was only ever an extension of what was already a grand time and in order to enhance such grand time. Never went near the stuff when things were a bit off or having a lousy day or something like that.


No offense but I think you're on shaky ground in thinking that writing about it is a form of control. From a harm reduction point of view: maybe. But seems to me you're not really interested in that side of things. And I'll be brutally honest here when I say that even I'm very surprised at how far down the road you've gone and in such a short space of time with this stuff especially given your circumstances as you've described (and I have no option but to take them at face value as I don't know you from a bar of soap). In just thinking about it though: maybe you've hit the nail squarely on the head in your original post and as quoted initially above i.e. your reasons for using are far removed from what mine were.

I'm not sure what to make of your working hypothesis i.e. "addiction is over-rated"? You'll have to explain that one to me I'm afraid.

Sounds like you had a great time, I'd love to have a few beers with you and talk and talk, you must have some histories to tell (but probably we would end discussing about stocks and markets, lol)
I had some of that when younger, but today's addiction is complete useless shit, only that I like it as a form of evasion and a little spot in the week to give a shit about everything. So in short I have the idea my life as become shitty and purposeless somehow, and the coke "helps me" to forget that

But yes addiction itself in this way of thinking too much about cocaine (not like years ago, when I did in the weekend and forgot about it meanwhile) makes me more fragile, egocentric, destroys my judgement and takes away time, money, and health.

Today the plan was to do some lines after lunch, but got up, went to buy some cinnamon rolls, had breakfast and magically snorted already a line (40 minutes ago) so... the one week break is over
 

dalpat077

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Joined
Oct 14, 2019
Messages
1,162
Sounds like you had a great time, I'd love to have a few beers with you and talk and talk, you must have some histories to tell (but probably we would end discussing about stocks and markets, lol)
I had some of that when younger, but today's addiction is complete useless shit, only that I like it as a form of evasion and a little spot in the week to give a shit about everything. So in short I have the idea my life as become shitty and purposeless somehow, and the coke "helps me" to forget that

But yes addiction itself in this way of thinking too much about cocaine (not like years ago, when I did in the weekend and forgot about it meanwhile) makes me more fragile, egocentric, destroys my judgement and takes away time, money, and health.

Today the plan was to do some lines after lunch, but got up, went to buy some cinnamon rolls, had breakfast and magically snorted already a line (40 minutes ago) so... the one week break is over
Well I still don't understand how you can eat with this shit! But then I loved the taste so would try hold onto it for as long as possible and at all costs (obvious solution of course was more). Not to mention the numb palate and throat and the rest! 🤣 But alright. As we know we're talking about a long time ago.

And I'm 100% sure we'd have a lot more to talk about than the markets! 🤣

I have to admit I'm always conflicted whenever I'm this topic. Since I started actively posting here and in particular following your thread and having one or two other discussions elsewhere around these parts on the topic: I've tried to be as objective as possible about my years of use. You know: always a danger of romanticizing the good old days when actually, maybe, they were not that great. But in my case: the answer always comes back the same i.e. I'd do it all over in a heartbeat and wouldn't change a thing. Other than the odd meeting having to be canceled thus pissing off the odd client or two (which was always salvageable anyway) I cannot say that while using it affected my life in any way other than making what was already a great stretch even better. For me it was take something that's already great and multiply it be a thousand (type thing).

Regrets? Even although I know for a fact (used to keep my own set of books being self employed and all the cash withdrawals were posted to an entertainment account) that we're talking in the low six digits most of those years (it's not the cheapest pleasure in life as I'm sure you know) (and not to mention that the price hasn't really changed much over the years so back in then it was bigger spare change than it would be today) I cannot say I even regret the financial cost because me knowing me I'd have found something else to spend it on. I make that point because I've tried to argue with myself that if I had that money now I'd not be where I am now currently. But that's just fooling myself.

The above on the one hand. On the other hand, and at least in my case, it is the aftereffects i.e. after stopping to use that I'm acutely aware of and probably still live with to this day to an extent. From a psychological point of view that is. Put it this way: many things became "meh" after walking away. In spite of my bearing my soul around these parts there's certain things that are off limits or a bridge too far for me. But I can tell you this much: once you introduce this shit into your relationship or love life or start associating it with other people and places and occasions then that's where the problem comes in. At least in my case. And there were breaks i.e. it wasn't continuous use. So you'd get involved with somebody and inevitably at some point the idea would pop in your head and, well, you'd go down that road for a few months and there was no going back from there i.e. even if deciding to nip it in the bud there was no going back to things the way they were because everything became, as I said, "meh". Not that it's a regret i.e. I've ended up in a good, and better, place and without ever having that shit around. But I'm just looking at our new friend here and who is married and I assume wants to stay married. What I'm saying really is that once this stuff creeps into every psychological nook and cranny or into a relationship: there's no going back to the way things were despite both parties agreeing to nip it in the bud in the case of a relationship. Ironically it goes downhill pretty fast from that point. And I've seen this happen to one or two others so in that sense it cannot just be me. And maybe therein lies the beast. With this stuff and while using: things, good, better, or best, as just better. You can do things while using and you're awake and aware of things. It's not like blacking out or nodding off and waking up in the same spot and not having experienced anything while using and as a result creating psychological associations with certain things.

Anyway. I don't know if any of the above is applicable to anybody, or will be applicable to anybody in the future, or if its even harm reduction advice. But if nothing else: I believe I've at least been totally honest in saying that I'm not the poster child for Cocaine abstinence and/or loathing that's for sure. But obviously my mileage differs (greatly), as does my outcomes, and, well, as stated many times I just got lucky in my opinion.

Suppose on the other hand I could make the point that the very fact that I'm able to say all of the above, after years and years of use and abuse, and still more years and years (almost double in fact) of abstinence, should maybe be a warning in and of itself. And I cannot speak about other drugs. But with this one and if you go down the road long enough with it: not matter how strong you are or no matter how good your intentions it will forever be a monkey on your back. It's possibly just the weight of said monkey that will vary for most.

And that was also kind of the point that I was making in my earlier post to our new friend here. I'm not entirely sure, particularly for somebody that's using and enjoying it still, throwing all caution to the wind, and ignoring the warnings of others, that constantly discussing it and analyzing it is a good thing. And I can tell you that researching this stuff now i.e. the science and the economics of it? For somebody with my take on it? End of post! :)
 

jimdron

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 28, 2017
Messages
267
Location
Vienna, Austria-Hungary
Well in my case is totally different, I can mix both, but more because I have no other option. Only thing is I try to cut down the use to small bumps while with the wife, but also I have done big lines because I knew there wouldn't be another chance in 2 hours, and is not pleasant, if I start feeling I am too high, usually pull off some excuse like going out for a walk or "now is the time o clean that rust under the sink" so I can be alone and doing something for a while.
I did that with weed. Smoked every occasion I had - at work, on the way to work, on the home, etc. Don't do it anymore since discovering cocaine. I would try to use cocaine in the manner of weed as described if I had needed supply, but I don't and I (maybe rationalize) the whole thing in thinking, being high on cocaine with wife and kids would be too intense. Cocaine for me is not stress release so that I would be calmer (more friendly), but it is a party, let me be myself for once kind of thing.

But in my case: the answer always comes back the same i.e. I'd do it all over in a heartbeat and wouldn't change a thing. Other than the odd meeting having to be canceled thus pissing off the odd client or two (which was always salvageable anyway) I cannot say that while using it affected my life in any way other than making what was already a great stretch even better. For me it was take something that's already great and multiply it be a thousand (type thing).

Regrets? Even although I know for a fact (used to keep my own set of books being self employed and all the cash withdrawals were posted to an entertainment account) that we're talking in the low six digits most of those years (it's not the cheapest pleasure in life as I'm sure you know) (and not to mention that the price hasn't really changed much over the years so back in then it was bigger spare change than it would be today) I cannot say I even regret the financial cost because me knowing me I'd have found something else to spend it on. I make that point because I've tried to argue with myself that if I had that money now I'd not be where I am now currently. But that's just fooling myself.

The above on the one hand. On the other hand, and at least in my case, it is the aftereffects i.e. after stopping to use that I'm acutely aware of and probably still live with to this day to an extent. From a psychological point of view that is. Put it this way: many things became "meh" after walking away. In spite of my bearing my soul around these parts there's certain things that are off limits or a bridge too far for me. But I can tell you this much: once you introduce this shit into your relationship or love life or start associating it with other people and places and occasions then that's where the problem comes in. At least in my case. And there were breaks i.e. it wasn't continuous use. So you'd get involved with somebody and inevitably at some point the idea would pop in your head and, well, you'd go down that road for a few months and there was no going back from there i.e. even if deciding to nip it in the bud there was no going back to things the way they were because everything became, as I said, "meh". Not that it's a regret i.e. I've ended up in a good, and better, place and without ever having that shit around. But I'm just looking at our new friend here and who is married and I assume wants to stay married. What I'm saying really is that once this stuff creeps into every psychological nook and cranny or into a relationship: there's no going back to the way things were despite both parties agreeing to nip it in the bud in the case of a relationship. Ironically it goes downhill pretty fast from that point. And I've seen this happen to one or two others so in that sense it cannot just be me. And maybe therein lies the beast. With this stuff and while using: things, good, better, or best, as just better. You can do things while using and you're awake and aware of things. It's not like blacking out or nodding off and waking up in the same spot and not having experienced anything while using and as a result creating psychological associations with certain things.

Anyway. I don't know if any of the above is applicable to anybody, or will be applicable to anybody in the future, or if its even harm reduction advice. But if nothing else: I believe I've at least been totally honest in saying that I'm not the poster child for Cocaine abstinence and/or loathing that's for sure. But obviously my mileage differs (greatly), as does my outcomes, and, well, as stated many times I just got lucky in my opinion.

Suppose on the other hand I could make the point that the very fact that I'm able to say all of the above, after years and years of use and abuse, and still more years and years (almost double in fact) of abstinence, should maybe be a warning in and of itself. And I cannot speak about other drugs. But with this one and if you go down the road long enough with it: not matter how strong you are or no matter how good your intentions it will forever be a monkey on your back. It's possibly just the weight of said monkey that will vary for most.

And that was also kind of the point that I was making in my earlier post to our new friend here. I'm not entirely sure, particularly for somebody that's using and enjoying it still, throwing all caution to the wind, and ignoring the warnings of others, that constantly discussing it and analyzing it is a good thing. And I can tell you that researching this stuff now i.e. the science and the economics of it? For somebody with my take on it? End of post! :)
Yeah, drugs I took were fun and good, don't regret it. But I would like be "normal", without need to take drugs. This is probably a fantasy, not real thing, so yeah, drugs were (are) fine.

My (at least partial) solution of problem of drugs messing up one's relationships is to be open about it to non-using partner and, even more, share subjective reasons and internal reasons and experiences of being high. Me on drugs is more authentic me, I am sure. If one would be able disregard "druggy" parts that is. Another fantasy of mine.
 

usual-suspect

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
Ok my dears, just nothing works, whatever I do I put my hands on any amount of coke and won't stop until it's over. Fuck me, past week was thinking in another crazy delusion about buying 14g and "wisely administering it in the following months, etc, etc" Finally I told myself on a last shine of common sense: hey, buy an 8ball and let's see how it goes, and then you can go for the 14G. And 3 days took me to finish the 8ball. and the wifey started to show her cards (of course she knows more than I think). So yes, time to quit.

I am going to try this way out. Just swallowed 1/3 of a 240ug LSD tab I had over there (never tried LSD, but yes mushrooms). There's no more cocaine in the house, no intentions to buy more. Will see how this 1/3 of tab goes, plan is to stay off cocaine until end or march, and then have a nice LSD trip with a full tab. If the 1/3 of tab works out (i.e. no horrible bad trips) will repeat next weekend to avoid the cocaine cravings)
 

usual-suspect

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
Fuck me again,

This doesn't look like lsd to me.

For a moment I had that feeling of organic disgusting taste I remember from mushrooms, and then a bit of the moving patterns in the ceiling and that's it.

Then it was replaced by those waves of slightly pleasure comedown, similar to those I get from amphetamine sulfate in low doses. That makes me think this shit is not real lsd, or the blotters dosage are highly overstated by seller and probably I had a micro-micro-dose.

And then I feel hot and sweaty and can't sleep.

Anyway, I'll try a higher dose next time, at least had a really nice talk with the wifey, we enjoyed and laughed.

Love to all you addicted people in their way out of addiction
 
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usual-suspect

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
Quickly:

It would be nice to have this as an occasional treat, but I need to stay away of it a few months an clear my head. Good weather is coming back and I can just go out for a walk, drink a beer or two and do things I can manage better, cocaine binges take too much away from me, too much planning to get that gram you will use wisely and just do a couple of lines after meal/drinks.... But that never happens, the moment I get the bag all the plans jump through the window. Lol, of course I would love to snort a line of coke that magically appears laid in the bathroom when I go to pee, is there a cocaine angel that can do that?
 

usual-suspect

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
Fuck me again,

This doesn't look like lsd to me.

For a moment I had that feeling of organic disgusting taste I remember from mushrooms, and then a bit of the moving patterns in the ceiling and that's it.
Posted under trip reports as well: https://www.bluelight.org/xf/forums/trip-reports.40/

So barely 24 hours after this message I tried a large line of ketamine. So far tried ket a couple of times but never close to the k-hole

It was very late, went to bed immediately, and understood this time it was going to be a trip, and I had done everything wrong (no water, no chance of getting up in the dark and going to the bathroom, , the cat walking around, the wife asleep along me, the phone screen started to make no sense at all, and to top it all the wife awoke and started to talk me... I managed to put away the phone and earbuds and said my wife something like "WiFi is not working... Sleepy.. Love you.. good night) also said something I don't remember and she laughed a bit, or that's what I thought... and just turned around and told my self: whatever happens, you are asleep don't move, don't talk, stay still, everything will be fine)

So the thing started with noise, like a big machine humming around me, I thought it was the gas boiler in the kitchen that usually I can barely hear from my bedroom when heating turns on. But it was all around me, like I was in a ship engine room or something, and also I started to think I was the boiler, or I was inside the boiler, and felt a bit of panic and then the paranoia that I actually was on LSD since yesterday, and I didn't realise until now, but of course it was just a crazy idea, so the usual psychedelics chapter of "oh my god, I am crazy", I told myself again to stay calm and not worry and just stay silent and not move. Had to discard other unsettling thoughts like: what if I start screaming without realising, what if anything happens and the wife awakes and tries to get me up? Etc... I could hear more sounds, like somebody was moving furniture in the house, etc, etc. didn't care and didn't move, just waited. I could feel the wife reaching my forehead with the hand, so I thought I was agitating or making some kind of noise and concentrated on staying still, quiet.

And then another chapter started, I call it the "simplification" I felt like I was a small bump in the bed linen fabric, just a few small particles and that my only belonging to this world was to be attached to the bed linen, and everything was turning into a two dimensional world, where somebody was painting with crayons, oil, etc, in mostly dark colors with vague shapes like in a dynamic cubist paint, totally abstract, something like this, but with no sense or purpose at all:



Think about sand storms in some planet where there are no shapes or light. It was fucking weird.

Meanwhile I could be in and out, I mean sometimes I said to myself: open an eye, and I was able to open the eye, but unable to see anything meaningful, and the darkness was illuminated by some fluorescent light coming from somewhere. That was scary so I closed the eyes and tried to move my fingers and was able to do it, but it was better to stay still and with eyes closed, and didn't try anymore. At some point I could hear my wife breathing asleep, which was nice and helped me to stay calm.

I tried to think about a cared one that recently died, and could see her face and her 3 children like they were only one somehow, and tied to orange color. But it made not much sense, it wasn't like when on mushrooms, when you actually can "feel and touch" other people and other entities or whatever, it was all abstract "industrial", a bit cold, not huma. Then started something like an "organic" stage, where I was moving along a channel or a cannon, like those scenes in star wars where the millenary falcon is scaping from tie fighters, only that it was completely fucked up, non-sensical and some weird creatures that were all of the same shape (like mushrooms with feet) but different size stared at me while I was passing. I remember also some kind of gigantic green triangular door made of phosphorescent dust opening in front of me, miles away from me, and I think at some point I just felt asleep.

Ketamine is si fucking weird, WTF was all this? No idea. I think what was holding me together was the idea of not doing anything to scare or bother my wife, and the relief to think is not 6-8 hours like mushrooms or lsd, but man, this was nothing like mushrooms, it was much more crazy, and at the same time somehow "manageable" (but only from a mind point of view, the body is completelly disabled and is scary trying to move). More abstract and undefined, like mushrooms is playing a videogame in 64 bit, and ket is an 8 bit era, low resolution game but so sick and wicked and attractive on its own. You only need a 2/3 hours window for this, which makes it more doable than the lsd thing. Also I have the feeling that the k-hole is deeper than I could see now, but not sure.

Well that's it more or less. I was really tired when I woke up this morning and stayed in bed more than 10 hours, which is very unusual on me. I feel fine now, and will try this thing again later on.

Did this help me with cocaine addiction? Not sure yet. At least for now I can say I am not so interested/bought in the cocaine stuff, let's see in a week or two...
 
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usual-suspect

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Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
OK, I'm quitting for good.

Reasons:

- Became addicted not only to cocaine, but to "snorting things", which is fucking my nose
- So 2 weeks ago did an 8ball in 3 days.
- Took a week break, but because of that snorting addiction thing, almost every day did a line or two of speed. also did once a line of ketamine, which is really harmful on the nose
- Then bought another 8ball from my "reputable seller" Unfortunatelly reputable in this case means re-puta (google that in spanish) and the cocaine was absolutely crap. It looks like the coke market in UK is worse than ever these days. But I am an addict, and couldn't resist to snort the shit in 5 days. So 3 weeks in a row fucking with my nose.... Last day my nose was so painful that I boofed instead of snorting, but at one point I had to snort, because you now... stealth boofing is not so easy with people around
- My nose in the morning had all kind of scabs and boogers. Did some cure on it and inspected, and I can see a small cut inside, not really a hole, but it will get worse and worse for sure if I keep using
- Besides that: shaky times are coming in, and I might lose my job in the next moths. Being jobless and coke addict at the same time looks not like a good idea. Having to go to nose surgery is another fear. Hopefully my nose will heal if I don't fuck with it in the next months/years. I did some cleaning with saline water and I am using coconut oil to keep it moisture
- And another unpleasant consequence: vasoconstriction is fucking and drying my skin all around. I can see my skin looks dry and older now, and when I'm high on cocaine my hands turn blue and I feel cold.

So, I am done with cocaine (wish me good luck, and thanks for your patience). No way I can trust myself, the only option is stop using.

Will keep you posted if I get to use again, but fuck my life if I do

PD
I probably will do speed oral sometimes, and the only drug I might ever snort is ketamine, the only thing worth it given the psychedelic experience, but no more than once every one/two months, and have no idea when. Right know I am terrified of snorting anything.
 
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usual-suspect

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Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
Will keep you posted if I get to use again, but fuck my life if I do


Fuck my life!!

I waited 8 days and bough 2 grams, did them in 4 days.

It must be tiring to read the same shit over and over again, but I can feel a good thing growing: BOREDOM.

The desire for coke is starting to fade. The thing is becoming more and more meaningless and useless and tiring. The addiction is still there, but the incredible deception that this drug brings is starting tk.;]
l that will be left is the runny nose

Yesterday I did the last line of the 2 grams and felt sincere happiness: tomorrow I will enjoy a day WITHOUT coke. Today I opened the DNM pages and read the review on the "reputable" sellers profiles. It's all garbage, all idiots giving 5 stars to shitty cut to fuck drug priced like gold. Everybody lying and self-deceiving themselves to think they are buying god's chosen elixir, and the dealers with their cheap marketing statements: "we have been x years in the DNM and we best know this product is the best. We don't know how long it will last, etc.." "bolivian, peruvian, columbian.." Fuck you, MF, you have no idea what you are selling, or where it comes from, cut the crap. Cocaine does nothing than getting worse and worse... I can't believe I keep giving my money to these rats.
 

SKL

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10/10 thread. Would read again. Fuckin' subscribed.

Whoever suggested Kratom and called it harmless, as well as the earlier suggestion of ibogaine microdoses, is out of their fucking mind though.
 

Tramalala

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Mar 20, 2021
Messages
56
10/10 thread. Would read again. Fuckin' subscribed.

Whoever suggested Kratom and called it harmless, as well as the earlier suggestion of ibogaine microdoses, is out of their fucking mind though.
What's wrong with ibogaine microdoses? I've read mostly good things about it and was considering to try it myself. Haven't been able to find it though.
 

SKL

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What's wrong with ibogaine microdoses? I've read mostly good things about it and was considering to try it myself. Haven't been able to find it though.
It has hideously complex and ill understood pharmacology, it interacts with everything, has a very long T1/2 etc. On a more personal level, there's this, although that wasn't micro-dosing. Still, I don't trust the stuff. It's too "dirty," in the sense of being too promiscuous with too many receptors in too many different ways. It's difficult to offer reasonable HR advice, even at low doses, when there is so much going on. Also the people that advocate it are too zealous about it (Dmitri Mugianis, probably the most prominent iboga evangelist, even got initiated into an African tribe.) I wouldn't touch the stuff for love or money. Way too hardcore a drug to be gentle with even in terms of microdoses, which are overrated to begin with. It doesn't play nice.
 

usual-suspect

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Aug 6, 2020
Messages
218
Definitely something LSD

Felt like the good vibes of mdma followed by awesome visuals watching the right songs,/videos, mixed with few moments of weirdness but all much more chilled than mushrooms, I remember mushrooms like a more wild, out of control experience

Didn't loose my self-consciousness, cooked something to eat, took a shower, went outside for a short walk, again back home with the same videoclip, amazing every time...

If something, would have liked a bigger dose and more lose of self awareness.
I did one tab around 220uh, but I think it might be overrated and actually been ,150)

Worth trying again whenever Is possible (lenght of trip is too much, would be my complain)

A drug everyone should try
 
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