usual-suspect
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2020
- Messages
- 189
So I use cocaine, sniff only, never IV and never ever used crack... I have been user for 20 years, very occasionally first 10 years, then a heavy user on weekends for a year or so, then another 10 years using it 2 or 3 times a year or even less.
On my heavy user weekend binges I used around 0.5G/1G and up to 1.5G sometimes per weekend, in sessions of 6 up to 12 hours. I loved the cocaine at the beginning, but finally I got tired of all the "friends", the nightlife and the terrible comedowns. I also saw some people throw away their lives, lose their jobs, and be a pain for friends and family, and end broke and in rehab.
Then I did cut any contact with all those cocaine “friends”, went to another city, then to another country and lived in peace doing coke only a few times per year, when I met old friends and such.
Until I found the darkweb a few weeks ago and like a kid in a candy shop, started to buy batch after batch and the habit skyrocketed. So in July I did coke 17 days out of 30, never more than 0.3/0.4G per day, and used a quite strong and good quality coke, nothing to do with the mostly shit I used this last 10 years.
It is so nice to use some good coke… Specially when you are not used to it and you get all the rush and the pleasure on each line you do. I did it alone at home, no alcohol, no cigarettes (I quit smoking 8 years ago), no distractions, just the coke and me, and watching a nice movie, and playing some nice videogame, and then my wife came home and I listened to her with such interest and pleasure (by the way, she has no idea I am doing this)
But soon things started to change, the tolerance grows, only the first line is nice and after that you don’t get the same pleasure, you start doing more, you end the day with the nose a bit clogged and the comedowns are harder each time. Stopped doing my workouts, one day called off sick at work… Obviously I had to stop that.
The brain is such a clever organ, specially when it comes to fool ourselves, in those days I bought enough coke for a couple of months of almost daily use, so the option of “ok, I won’t buy more in a couple of weeks” was off the table, and flushing all that money in the WC was a painful option
So what I have done:
And that’s the plan
Sounds good? So far is my first week of commitment and it works (because the only chance to break the plan is to break the box, which is a really ugly thing to do and would leave with no other option than flush the coke in the WC and stop doing coke forever ) Will keep this thread as a journal of my progress and/or failures,
Thanks for reading and please leave your feedback
On my heavy user weekend binges I used around 0.5G/1G and up to 1.5G sometimes per weekend, in sessions of 6 up to 12 hours. I loved the cocaine at the beginning, but finally I got tired of all the "friends", the nightlife and the terrible comedowns. I also saw some people throw away their lives, lose their jobs, and be a pain for friends and family, and end broke and in rehab.
Then I did cut any contact with all those cocaine “friends”, went to another city, then to another country and lived in peace doing coke only a few times per year, when I met old friends and such.
Until I found the darkweb a few weeks ago and like a kid in a candy shop, started to buy batch after batch and the habit skyrocketed. So in July I did coke 17 days out of 30, never more than 0.3/0.4G per day, and used a quite strong and good quality coke, nothing to do with the mostly shit I used this last 10 years.
It is so nice to use some good coke… Specially when you are not used to it and you get all the rush and the pleasure on each line you do. I did it alone at home, no alcohol, no cigarettes (I quit smoking 8 years ago), no distractions, just the coke and me, and watching a nice movie, and playing some nice videogame, and then my wife came home and I listened to her with such interest and pleasure (by the way, she has no idea I am doing this)
But soon things started to change, the tolerance grows, only the first line is nice and after that you don’t get the same pleasure, you start doing more, you end the day with the nose a bit clogged and the comedowns are harder each time. Stopped doing my workouts, one day called off sick at work… Obviously I had to stop that.
The brain is such a clever organ, specially when it comes to fool ourselves, in those days I bought enough coke for a couple of months of almost daily use, so the option of “ok, I won’t buy more in a couple of weeks” was off the table, and flushing all that money in the WC was a painful option
So what I have done:
- I bought one of those safe boxes with timer, that once locked won’t open unless you break it.
- I’ve set a schedule where it opens twice a week, I take out between 0.2G and 0.3G and I close it again
- I will keep that schedule for a few weeks, then will reduce the amount to 0.1G and 0.25G, for a few weeks, and then start to set the timer to open once a week only, and so on
And that’s the plan
Sounds good? So far is my first week of commitment and it works (because the only chance to break the plan is to break the box, which is a really ugly thing to do and would leave with no other option than flush the coke in the WC and stop doing coke forever ) Will keep this thread as a journal of my progress and/or failures,
Thanks for reading and please leave your feedback