Benzos My love for Xanax...

[nijel]

So I first got my hands on some Xanax over a month ago and like an idiot I went overboard. Took about 140mg in about 14 days and went through withdrawals as I couldn't get anymore for a week. My last dose was a Sunday, and I didn't even know I was going through withdrawals until probably Thursday. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights just involved terribly vivid dreams, some were very nightmarish, others were just strange and I had a few where I coherently knew it was a dream and was talking to the people in the dream about it being a dream. Those 3 nights are really the only 3 nights I've dreamt and and can actually remember dreaming in a long time. So Thursday night I can't sleep at all. Just lie in bed for a few hours where my mind is just going too fast for me to even think I can try falling asleep so I eventually get up and put on some headphones and game and that kinda chills me out but I still got zero sleep for close to 36 hours. I took some Valerian Root on Friday night and I was able to sleep from about 1 am til 7 am when I had to be up for work so those 6 hours felt heavenly. Saturday at work I still felt a little fuzzy, if you've ever been through a benzo withdrawal you know the feeling where you're head just doesn't feel right at all and you don't feel like you're in the right place or something? It's just an odd sensation.

Anyway, skip ahead a week and the new stuff comes and I'm attempting to be much smarter about it. I'll take 2mg just 2 days a week, and usually on Saturday when I can sleep in as late as I want Sunday, I'll binge on like 6-8mg. Now I've slipped up and redosed a couple times but my biggest worry is will I run into the same types of withdrawals if I can stick to 2mg twice a week with a 3rd day 6-8mg?

My other question is; since I'm only taking benzos 3 days a week, what effect will drinking whiskey the other 4 days per week have on me? How will the two drugs mix and match with each other so to speak?

Any advice would be really appreciated as I'm trying to avoid seizures mainly, but I know I'll never let myself get even 30 days straight into benzos. But I may do 30 days straight of benzos/alcohol just on a schedule like I said and I'm not sure if it'll be sorta the same thing?

 

[e92]

benzo withdrawals are hell. and i was only doing like 1-2mg every day for a month or two. nothing crazy. one day i just stopped cold turkey, 36 hours later at work i feel this outer body experience. anxious for no reason. i got home tried to relax and fall asleep, but i had these racing thoughts of people outside of my house wanting to kill me. i was losing my mind. i think its actually worse, mentally, than heroin withdrawals which are also hell. since i had no more benzos left, i had no choice but to wake my mother up and tell her i need to go to the ER.

if you stick to ONLY 2mg, ONLY twice a week you should be fine if you separate them at much as possible. and yes if you drink on benzos you will get really fucked up depending on how much you took/ your tolerance for either substance. i never mix the two because i always end up blacking out.

unrelated, but i'll take klonopin over xanax any day. xanax just fucks you up. klonopin is not weaker, but it takes a lot of klonopin (in comparison to xanax) to make you straight up incoherent. not to mention its less addictive, lasts twice if not three times longer, has some anti depressant properties, and is a muscle relaxer. amazing.

back on topic... sounds like you just wanna stay anxiety free all the time. drinking whiskey 4 days a week and xanax 3 days a week in order to avoid physical dependance from either? it will happen eventually. sounds like you need professional help or maybe even an anti depressant. these are supposed to be RECREATIONAL drugs, meaning for your own personal pleasure and not to aid your NEEDS. if you really feel that you need benzos on a regular basis / have anxiety issues go see a doctor bro..

 

[SS373dOH]

^ Decent advice, until you got to the part where you said "these are meant for recreational use." That is not what theyre intended for at all, using them to get high should be avoided. Now to the OP, alcohol and benzos are cross tolerant, so if you skip a day of benzos to drink, youll still be building a tolerance to them. Also, you can set a schedule for your drug use all you want, but most likely you will end up taking more than planned and more often. We've all tried to make a plan and control are drug use, some of us can maintain longer than others, but eventually instead of us controlling are drugs, the drugs start to control us! Be very careful mixing alcohol and benzos, it can cause seizures, and it becomes that much easier to become physically dependant to both, and withdrawals from either one can be fatal, especially when dependant to both of them! If I were you, I'd quit while youre still ahead, or at the very least, limit your use to only the weekends, physical dependancy can occur very quickly with xanax, but if you think the withdrawals were bad from only 2 weeks of use, just wait until youve gone on a 6 month bender! Then it becomes LIFE THREATENING, and you will most likely have to detox under medical supervision. Be careful with that shit, it's no joke and will take you down without mercy.


- Hopeless Soul

 

[kleinerkiffer]

^This
Abusing benzos and alcohol is a really bad idea. Benzos should be reserved for panic attacks only.
With the dosages you are planning to take you'll have a significant amount of Xanax in your system the day after and after 6-8mg for a few days. You will build a tolerance pretty fast, plus drinking alcohol the days you don't take benzos will fuck up your GABA receptors even more plus you are risking a black out.
Just don't do it. Try something like hydroxyzine or Seroquel for sleep and don't abuse the shit out of GABAergics, the withdrawal can kill you and it's hell on earth.

 

[Moreaux]

As someone who was addicted to Xanax for 10 years, and booze for 17, I'm going to give you a little advice. Benzos and booze act very similarly on the brain, and are synergistic when taken together. It sounds like you are trying to avoid an addiction, but the way you're using right now very possibly may expedite the addiction process. If you want to enjoy either, then you need to take a break in between usage. Benzos for 3 gays and booze on you off days doesn't constitute a break, and soon enough you'll be doing both and not realize it. Find something other than booze for your off says. I'm guessing you like the euphoria that comes with both, so I don't have any none addictive suggestions, and the other stuff I can think of acts on similar pathways. GABAeric withdrawal is nasty - you've gotten a taste of it. If you continue on the path you're going, the withdrawal is significantly worse and PAWS can last years (personal experience). Other stuff that works for anxiety that doesn't produce euphoria is kratom, kava, Relora.

 

[sudo.ftp]

I'm pretty excited to try these out, but for medical reasons. I've been on Setraline 100mg for time now, and still having panic attacks which are no fun; but p-doc won't prescribe them because of an overdose I took a few years ago (I won't get into that on here!).

What is it that you folk get from them? I'm intrigued because I'm about to get my hands on some to help with the anxiety, yet I know people take them recreationally.

 

[kleinerkiffer]

I'm pretty excited to try these out, but for medical reasons. I've been on Setraline 100mg for time now, and still having panic attacks which are no fun; but p-doc won't prescribe them because of an overdose I took a few years ago (I won't get into that on here!).

What is it that you folk get from them? I'm intrigued because I'm about to get my hands on some to help with the anxiety, yet I know people take them recreationally.

Have you tried stuff like hydroxyzine for the panic attacks?

 

[manboychef]

I have to agree with the advice given here. Xanax is for those moments that your life circumstances have spiked into a very panic filled, anxiety ridden moment when you are unable to think of nothing else but escaping it for a few moments because you may loose your mind for fear.

Having said that I will say that if you enjoy benzos you really enjoy benzos. It is something that will require attention to your dosing schedule because the gains don't last long, and the withdrawal and PAWS does. I am still experiencing the PAWS and it has been months since I took them daily.

Here are some good times for xanax:
1.)You find out your girlfriend of 3 months gets pregnant and she is keeping it. You are fearful of the future and need something to calm you down so you can think objectively about the future.

2.)You just lost your job and have just signed a lease or car note. You are fearful of the future and need something to calm you down so you can start taking the steps to find another job, or at least secure unemployment.

3.)A family member you were close to has died. You cannot stop thinking enough to plan for their funeral arrangements and get their affairs in order.

If you notice these all are catastrophic events that require a less emotional head to prevail in order to start working on them. There is not a situation there that warrants taking them three times a week or with alcohol. If you have GAD or other anxiety problems I would suggest klonopin, or valium as they are longer acting, less euphoric, and less prone to abuse. Only you and your doctor can decide, and taking them from illicit sources can lead to some severely unwanted repercussions (as OP has stated).

Be kind to your brain...you only get one.

 

[TheLostBoys]

^^^^

Excellent post!

 

[razordesignz]

Holy moly donut shop way too much to read. Xanax is way too addictive when I get high on it I just crave more of it instantly. I struggle to believe you were taking a 100mg a day for 14 days, 50 bars or 100 footballs in one day?I leave off with not believing that. Just stay away from it. Thinking you will take it twice a week won't work, you'll just end up using what you have access to. Your only hope if you abuse the prescribed dose is do not take it. Taper off and quit. Trust me

 

[CosmicG]

If you can't find a way to live life without needing a drink or a benzo every day then you may as well abandon any hope of ever being happy again. The withdrawals will only get worse if you keep messing around, and the damage can be permanent. If you don't have an existing anxiety disorder already, after a few more binges with some booze thrown in you will. I've been clean from benzos for a little over six months now. I am still recovering from it.

You already know you can't control yourself. It only gets worse. I promise. The sickest part of it all...I still crave booze and xanax. But I can't even drink anymore, because shortly after leaving rehab I began binge drinking. Found myself in the hospital with pancreatis for a week and now I can never drink again. That's what I get for treating my body and mind like a waste disposal. This is my karma. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

[papabeartaco]

i've met the girl of my dreams, after fighting for custody of my son last year, whichnow 30k later, I have full custody away from his heroin addicted mom....But I have fallen in the trap of xanax again, only been using it for 2-3 months everyday 6mg a day.... I'm gonna lose this beautiful, kind, woman if I let this go any further. I was initially prescribed a very low dose and sought my "needed' dose elsewhere. I was completely clean from all mind altering substances for a year and a half up until this February... I'm already sick of it. I've fought this addiction several years ago and at the same dosage only I was doing it for 2 and a half years.. Addiction is such a motherfucker. I work a super stressful job as a finance manager for a dealership in my area, and the money is very lucrative. I want to quit so badly and save money up and buy a house for a house for my soul mate, her three children and my own wonderful, precious son... Any advice would be appreciated. I'm 31 years old now, and again, this isn't my first go around with i=this drug but I was 27 then, and I am wondering what kind of tapering schedule. I have great insurance but I am unsure how to approach this with a psychiatrist, again, my job is great, but super stressful. I take 25mg of zoloft daily and I was also wondering how this might affect a taper if I just doit on my own. It's a sticky situation, because I do have full custody, but I am unsure how a doctor would react to me being completely honest with him about what i am doing illegally because the possible reprocusions of having dhr called on me....I fucking knew better, I knew better, but its so easy to fall back in this hole, and my child, my soulmate and her three beautiful girls are more than enough motivation for me to make a move on this, I have about 60 mgs left and am considering a taper, but I cannot lose this job, bc it requires a high level functioning of what brain power I have... Reaching out for support..I'm just worried that if the taper affects me at work, that I'll lose my job, or god forbid, lead to a seizure. I drink a couple of beers every night, i was doing that before I started back on the xanax.. I'm willing to do anything for these kids and this god-send of a woman who is actually coming out of a divorce with someone of ten years who now does heroin and crack on the daily. I just don't want to let these people down, and I don't want her to go from one addict to another, I've been very honest with her,but she deserves, my son, deserves, her children deserve a good father in their life. I deseerve a clean life again too. I hate myself for continuing to do this, but I want out. I pray for strength and for her and my son every night and it helps tremendously, but this stuff is such a bitch. I'm tired of playing this game, this russian roulette with my future. Are there any herbal remedies I can start now if I want to taper or should I go to the psychiatrist? I need help and reading the positive feed back on this thred gives me hope, but the seizures stuff scares the hell out of me. please help....

 

[Atmozfears]

If you can't find a way to live life without needing a drink or a benzo every day then you may as well abandon any hope of ever being happy again.

This hits home for me and makes me wonder if I should really go in to treatment and get help for my addictions..