prey
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2019
- Messages
- 10
MXPr (250 mg total, oral) - First time - Airy, invigorating, superficially revelatory
14 November, 2019
14 November, 2019
I recently obtained a small sample of MXPr, a novel dissociative that I've been hearing a little bit about for a while. As with several novel dissos these days, people have been wondering if it's "the new MXE", but I'm wary of these expectations. However, I never tried MXE in its glory days, so I won't be able to chime in as to the comparison. I've been wanting to try MXPr for the several months since I first heard about it and for the 2-3 weeks since I received it, so the time has finally come.
About me: I'm a quite seasoned dissonaut; I'm experienced with DXM, 3-MeO-PCP, 3-HO-PCP, O-PCE, diphenidine, ketamine, DCK, 2-FDCK, tiletamine, memantine, and MXP. To be frank, I'm still always a little trepidatious about trying a new disso. I'm trying to enter the experience without any expectations.
Right now, I'd say I have moderate disso tolerance. The week two weeks prior was spent on a ketamine/3-MeO-PCP bender (pushing it fairly far, but kept fairly responsible), and the previous week, I did relatively mild doses 3-MeO-PCP on and off. My last disso use was Monday (3 days ago), on which day I also did a tab of 1P-LSD. It would probably be for the best if I'd waited a little longer, but, well, I didn't. With all that in mind, I'm not sure what to expect from 40 mg, especially with no history with the substance (aside from eating 2mg a few hours ago to no effect).
I have no concrete plans to redose, but I'll leave the door open for it in case I'm underwhelmed an hour or so in. I'm willing to use up to about half of the 250 mg I have tonight (Future me: joke's on you, past me!).
About the setting: I'm alone in my solo apartment, comfy & feelin' cute with no real responsibilities to speak of. It's warm and I'm listening to good music (Massive Attack's Mezzanine).
610p [T=0:00] - I drank 40 mg of MXPr orally, in water, on a somewhat empty stomach.
650p [T+0:40] - I put away the dishes, switched my laundry over, and wrote the preamble to the report above. Feeling maybe 5% wonky, but it's probably just anticipation. I lay down on my couch to do a little bit of N20 and see what happens (not much yet).
715p [T+1:05] - I'm definitely feeling a little wonky, but it's not crystalizing into anything I can put a finger on. I drank another 30 mg in water. I've been flitting about my apartment, doing some light tidying since I'm not really handicapped yet. There's a weird combination of lightness and heaviness to moving my body, but it's weak. Now I'm back on the couch cleaning through my everyday bag. I was quite low-energy before dosing, so I definitely think MXPr is putting a little pep in my step for now, and it feels good to sort things out.
745p [T+1:35] - Finished cleaning my shoulder bag. I'm surprised at how much energy I had; I ended up taking everything out, vacuuming out the clonazepam and adderall dust (thanks, dollar store pill tower!), and re-packing it nicely. I'm identifying this with a trend that's common on dissociatives: Conceiving of my everyday-carry bag as an extension of my being, along with things like my wardrobe, apartment, car, phone, computer, etc. It's not part of my body, but it's a component of my organism, and caring for it deliberately is one form of self-grooming to ensure I'm living my life fully. I'm setting it aside now, though, as my vision is beginning to defocus. Almost all non-stimulatory dissociatives cause my eyes to defocus, and that's starting to happen now. I'm also starting to feel the telltale tug of a dissociative digging its claws into my mind. Detailed sensations of intracranial pressure (related to blurry vision?) that's typical of dissociatives for me. Time for more nitrous.
820p [T+2:10] - I just wrote a thank-you message to my sister for my birthday present (a bunch of wooden toys for my guinea pigs that she had shipped to me). It's something I've been putting off for a while. I'm a lil wonky and my eyes are blurry, but I'm mostly lucid, and there's an ease & clarity to my decisions and movements through life that is one of the reasons I love dissos so much. Don't worry, I proofread the note several times.
830p [T+2:20] - Bonobo's Black Sands album is wrapping up, and I just drank a final 50 mg of MXPr. Though I've still just got my toes in the water, this seems like a disso with great potential. Shame I've got such an arylcyclohexylamine tolerance. So far, I'd compare this most similarly to MXP, which is funny, because despite the name, MXP and MXPr have almost nothing in common. MXP isn't even an arylcyclohexylamine.
9p [T+2:50] - I've microwaved some vegetable soup. Typing is more difficult; I squint and shift my vision to press the right keys. Starting to feel a warm vibration inside me. Vision is very blurry; I'm typing this mostly by touch & careful memory of the keys I'm pressing. I'm feeling a chilly, omnidirectional wind, like somehow all of my body is within a breeze from all angles at once. This is a somatic sensation that I'm used to with some dissos (3-MeO-PCP, MXP, probably others) and that I welcome.
920p [T+3:10] - Feeling rolling, tugging, pushing, pulling sensations all over my body. It's raining. On a whim, I've assembled the consonants and vowels out of my brain to find a song that I used love as a teen (Leiahdorus - Dissection of Man) that I last listened to like 15 years ago in the days I used my mom's iTunes account. It's not very good. I'm pretty dissociated; it took about the length of the song to write that sentence about it. It's not like it was awful, but I'm glad my tastes have evolved.
940p [T+3:30] - I took 5 mL of my 1 mg/mL 3-MeO-PCP solution to give the MXPr some space to work with. I'm probably going to do the entirety of my sample tonight. Sigh... I felt the hooks of a hole start to take hold but I let the opportunity go. Let's be real; I don't have the self-control to wait for my tolerance to go down and do the other half then. Better to get as much mileage out of it as I can. I'm such a sucker for the disso redose trap.
950p [T+3:40] - 50 mg more MXPr, put some things away.
955p [T+3:45] - 50 mg more MXPr, finished up the soup. Getting my sendep stuff together.
1005p [T+3:55] - 33 mg more MXPr, the rest of the batch. I've got my dissonaut goggles (a memory foam sleep mask), big furry paws, and a weighted blanket. I prepared the last 5 N2O cannisters I had into 2 balloons, and held them with chip-clips to save them for when I was ready. I snuggle up underneath the blanket, buckle up, and let go, with Shpongle's Codex VI as the soundtrack.
1110p [T+5:00] - (Writing this the next day, this is the timestamp of when I messaged my friend that I just got fucked sideways.) Holy mother of god, what a hole. I was being stretched and sheared and pulled in so many directions and my brain was full of fuck. Of course, it's hard to fully articulate the experience, but it felt sort of like I was progressively accessing all of my 27 years of memory at once, holding them in my mind at the same time. When you live that much of your life at once, it's kind of a double-edged sword; you're no longer localized to any one moment, and so any given time period feels less "real". My mental workspace of consciousness felt so saturated that I was wary of thinking anything myself and overcrowding the space, it felt like things might have taken a turn if I had. Also, even though it felt so powerful, I can't identify anything I can really take away from the experience, unlike pretty much every time I've done hefty K / 3-MeO-PCP doses recently.
Though it was incredible, there was a "hollowness" to the experience that is evocative of something I read someone else say about MXP. It was powerful and overwhelming, yet it almost all felt like a glossy layer on top of my mind or surrounding my mind instead of deeply penetrating through it, subsuming it, or overriding it. This is another interesting similarity to MXP, which felt the same way, being airy and almost superficial while simultaneously overwhelming. Again, I'm wary of drawing such comparisons, because despite the name I don't know why the two would have such similarities. Maybe preconceptions/expectations based on the name, but I knew they weren't related before I ever ordered MXPr. Also, no real visuals to speak of. I saw confused images of various nondescript ceilings and upper corners of rooms I wasn't in (and probably don't exist), which is common for me on less-visual dissociatives (especially while wearing the goggles).
A final word about the hole: I'm not 100% sure "hole" is the right word, because I maintained a little control over my body, and instead felt like I was consciously deciding to relax my awareness of and grip upon it. A few times I would become anxious and twitch my fingers inside my paws a little, just to reaffirm that they were still there. I probably could have reached up and taken off the goggles if for some reason I wanted to. I'm not sure how to integrate this control of my body into the typical "dissociative hole" narrative, but here are some possibilities.
- I wasn't holing (it's not like the phenomenon is rigidly defined, but this just doesn't feel correct)
- MXPr isn't as anesthetic as other dissos and didn't fully rend control from me (even at an overwhelming dose)
- I have enough familiarity and mastery over the dissociative experience to maintain a modicum of control (I'm wary of assuming this level of competence or reducing dissociative substances to a single category, though)
- The stimulatory/dopaminergic activity of the small dose of 3-MeO-PCP let me maintain a modicum of control
Final thoughts: Well, I'm definitely going to buy more sometime. I'm in the same boat of some other Bluelighters in thinking that the price really needs to come down. It's got serious potential. The hole was incredible, even if it wasn't fully "satisfying", but the lower dose phase could be a ton of fun socially / empathogenically. I probably would have enjoyed having someone to talk to or an experience to share. My skin felt smooth, cool, sensitive, and vibratory, so I probably would have enjoyed sensual activity a lot, too, if a partner had been there to tease/tickle/scratch/nip/bite me too. (I'm a submissive to my bones; obviously I wouldn't recommend taking this for that purpose if you're just trying to fuck somebody). I recommend working up slowly, as it was amenable to redosing, but I kind of had a feeling it wouldn't be forgiving if you push it too far too quickly. Finally, if you use this report to determine dosage, keep in mind my substantial arylcyclohexylamine tolerance.
Feel free to ask any questions or point out any errors, and thanks for reading!
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mxpr
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
Last edited:
I am going to do my second trial soon. I did 39mg orally and found it alluring yet underwhelming.