Misc Mushrooms made me schizo?

[greenlight204]

Typing this has me miserable. I don’t know if I’m schuzoaffective or not. I had a drug induced psychosis in 2015 where I minorly hallucinated and checked myself into a psych ward. At this point in 2021 my life is still changed forever. I hate myself and want to die. I abused mushrooms to get over a breakup and now it seems my brain is all sorts of fucked up. I’ve been prescribed anti psychotics, have tried 8 different ones, and am currently taking Zyprexa. It has completely ruined my body, my face, and I am now addicted to it. These anti psychotics level me out and make me feel so dull and numb. I am so fucked up. I don’t look young anymore, people are a chore, and I don’t want to do anything. I should be moving mountains at my age. I had so much going for me, a great career, and then this all happened. Taking APs makes me feel like I’m chasing the dragon, getting high. I’ve seen 4 doctors, 2 said I’m probably bipolar one said I might have a mild form of sz and one diagnosed me schizoaffective. I want to kill myself. Nobody talks to me unless I take these fucking pills, when I do it’s like I invite energy back into myself. I don’t want to keep taking fucking pills I want my brain to be normal without them. I’m fat, look so unhealthy. I used to love people now I dread everyone including my family. I’m at rock bottom. I don’t use drugs anymore, just these fucking meds and I want to be able to sustain great conversation, do work well and live life without them. I truly feel like I have been shut out of heaven, doomed and condemned to a life of eternal suffering. Killing myself would 2000000% be the better option than live this hell on earth. I can’t tell if it’s the APs that have made me this stupid anymore or if I actually have a degenerative brain disease. My doc is working to change my diagnosis but I still had the discussion and have thought I’m schizophrenic. I used to have millions of friends, so happy and lived life to the fullest. Now I get no joy out of anything

 

[Tramalala]

May I ask what happened during your mushroom-trip? Perhaps we can offer some advice based on that.

 

[ions]

Bad news bears. There are mood elevators, preferably cannabis, but that might make the thoughts in your head more pronounced. It's like they can turn on an internal monologue. But if you're not comfortable with these thoughts, then they can consume you.

Psychiatry will 99% of the time prescribe and never address what really going on. I hope you can one day see what these psychedelics are trying to show you.

 

[greenlight204]

May I ask what happened during your mushroom-trip? Perhaps we can offer some advice based on that.

I went to the park to listen to the new Kendrick Lamar album on shrooms in the evening because my family was pissing me off, I either saw or hallucinated people with cameras taking pictures of me and then started chasing me in their car like they wanted to kill me. I hid in the park bathroom until they either left or I came to, I called the cops and said there were people trying to kill me and I was going to die. I called my parents and said I’m about to get murdered goodbye I love you. I came to and there were 4 cops around me asking me questions and ever since then things have never been the same. I truly deep down want to end my life and kill myself.

 

[greenlight204]

Bad news bears. There are mood elevators, preferably cannabis, but that might make the thoughts in your head more pronounced. It's like they can turn on an internal monologue. But if you're not comfortable with these thoughts, then they can consume you.

Psychiatry will 99% of the time prescribe and never address what really going on. I hope you can one day see what these psychedelics are trying to show you.

Which in your interpretation would be what? Nothing they have “shown” me has helped me out in life whatsoever so it’s a fucking dead ass end.

 

[December Flower]

I went to the park to listen to the new Kendrick Lamar album on shrooms in the evening because my family was pissing me off, I either saw or hallucinated people with cameras taking pictures of me and then started chasing me in their car like they wanted to kill me. I hid in the park bathroom until they either left or I came to, I called the cops and said there were people trying to kill me and I was going to die. I called my parents and said I’m about to get murdered goodbye I love you. I came to and there were 4 cops around me asking me questions and ever since then things have never been the same. I truly deep down want to end my life and kill myself.

And you let people give you antipsychotics for that?
That doesn't even sound a psychosis, it was just the shroom trip, strong one.
Once you start taking antipsychotics it's hard to ever stop in the future.
They're ridiculously addictive, and you'll get mental breakdowns just from stopping.

Remember: Psychiatry NEEDS you to be crazy. If you're not crazy, you're not worth anything to them. So they will find you crazy, no matter who you are, and how well you're doing.
I would try to gradually get off the APs, and try to live a normal life again,
or you might find yourself trapped in this (like my best friend who's been locked in this Psychiatry bullshit for over 15 years)

Honestly, I've never seen a Psychiatrist be like "Na, you're totally fine", they will ALWAYS find something, and if they don't, they tell you you're schizophrenic or depressed.

Stupid move to start the meds, you just had a brainfart on a trip.
A big brainfart, yeah.

edit: On my first shroom trip I had the impression that I was sitting in a locked cell, and two people were talking in front of my cell door, saying things like "Will he ever recover?" "I've never seen a brain that damaged", and fun stuff like this. That's just how trips are sometimes, bad bad bad move to freak out and call the cops. I was terrified too, so I can understand you, but the most important thought to hold onto is that you are tripping. And things will be weird.

 

[greenlight204]

And you let people give you antipsychotics for that?
That doesn't even sound a psychosis, it was just the shroom trip, strong one.
Once you start taking antipsychotics it's hard to ever stop in the future.
They're ridiculously addictive, and you'll get mental breakdowns just from stopping.

Remember: Psychiatry NEEDS you to be crazy. If you're not crazy, you're not worth anything to them. So they will find you crazy, no matter who you are, and how well you're doing.
I would try to gradually get off the APs, and try to live a normal life again,
or you might find yourself trapped in this (like my best friend who's been locked in this Psychiatry bullshit for over 15 years)

Honestly, I've never seen a Psychiatrist be like "Na, you're totally fine", they will ALWAYS find something, and if they don't, they tell you you're schizophrenic or depressed.

Stupid move to start the meds, you just had a brainfart on a trip.
A big brainfart, yeah.

edit: On my first shroom trip I had the impression that I was sitting in a locked cell, and two people were talking in front of my cell door, saying things like "Will he ever recover?" "I've never seen a brain that damaged", and fun stuff like this. That's just how trips are sometimes, bad bad bad move to freak out and call the cops. I was terrified too, so I can understand you, but the most important thought to hold onto is that you are tripping. And things will be weird.

Do you currently take APs?

 

[December Flower]

Do you currently take APs?

I only took one Quetiapine ever, because the neuroclinic wouldn't let me outside to smoke unless I took the pill. I had insane migraine attacks that blurred my vision to a point where I couldn't really see, only colours, that's why I was sent there. But as soon as it was out that I had taken psychotrope substances in the past it was "oh yeah must be some psychosis", and they treated me like it. Later, an actually competent Health Scientist & Psychologist, and friend of mine concluded that is was more likely due to me living in the city, and just an extension of my overloaded senses(autistic). As soon as I moved back to a village, it was all gone. But the hospital wanted to hook me on those pills all the same.

I'm actually talking about a friend of mine who's been trapped in this shit for so long. His parents forced him when he was younger, and now he gets psychotic outbreaks when he doesn't take them. It's really hard/almost impossible for him to stop, especially because benzos are part of his medicationl, and it might be very dangerous for his health to stop(seizures).

I'd just wean them off if I were you, decrease the dose. You had a paranoid thought that took you over on a trip. Happens to the best. If you were still super paranoid without the APs, maybe talk to a psychologist, but this whole mental "medicine" route is just fucked to shreds. You can't heal a mind like a wound by putting a bandage over it. You can however thoroughly fuck up a mind by administering the wrong "medicine", due to wrongful diagnosis.

They hear "psychedelic drug" and immediately think "schizo"; it's a business, and they have something to sell. Ofc they wanna help people, but don't think for a second that humanity understands the workings of the brain. We're idiots, we just throw these "medicines" at people because they have worked in the past, sometimes, but we don't 100% understand them, and many of the people diagnosed as schizophrenic/psychotic aren't mentally ill in the first place. They just said something stupid, like "doesn't everyone hear voices? Isn't that just called intuition / thought?", or mentioned they took psychotropes in the past, and suddenly you got a verdict(yeah that actually happened to another friend).

If YOU personally are happy with your life without APs/unhappy with the APs, and you would like to feel like yourself again, don't let these people tell you they know any better about your own psyche than you do. Honestly, Psychiatry has often no idea what they're doing exactly, and they often make everything worse over time. I'd check out how you feel without the APs and go from there.

 

[ions]

It may very well be a trauma you're still processing.

 

[✿Dai₷y✿]

I get despondent when there are many people here who don't seem to have figured out options to avoid psychosis and curb abuse of psychedelics.


There's too many substances of varying strengths and interactions with possible pre existing conditions to take psychedelics willy nilly.


Also with getting help when the damage has been done, you might not find someone who will be beneficial due to their attitude toward drug use. They would treat many who have come off second best and drug I duced psychosis sufferers can be uncooperative.


Its not possible to diagnose anything while you are affected by drugs , 6 months off any recreational drugs (or any not prescribed) is usually needed before even beginning that.

Psychiatrists are there mostly to monitor your response to medication they prescribed and adjust that accordingly. A diagnosis is made based on their observations of you and can change.


You might not agree with what they suggest and should keep an open mind , find a relatable psychologist who you like and can also work with your psychiatrist.


Anti psychotics are the lesser if the 2 evils if you consider being psychotic an option , which it isn't if you want to get better

You might not wanna hear this but taking recreational drugs is what got you into this. Theres a number if websites that have guidelines and tips for safe use, technically there isn't much of an excuse for just going to town on anything then melting your brain.


Since you are not feeling great as it is, its probably time to change to tic and give the professionals the stage, give it a chance and not self medicate anything as you could get worse

.

 

[EUPH0RiCRUSH]

Typing this has me miserable. I don’t know if I’m schuzoaffective or not. I had a drug induced psychosis in 2015 where I minorly hallucinated and checked myself into a psych ward. At this point in 2021 my life is still changed forever. I hate myself and want to die. I abused mushrooms to get over a breakup and now it seems my brain is all sorts of fucked up. I’ve been prescribed anti psychotics, have tried 8 different ones, and am currently taking Zyprexa. It has completely ruined my body, my face, and I am now addicted to it. These anti psychotics level me out and make me feel so dull and numb. I am so fucked up. I don’t look young anymore, people are a chore, and I don’t want to do anything. I should be moving mountains at my age. I had so much going for me, a great career, and then this all happened. Taking APs makes me feel like I’m chasing the dragon, getting high. I’ve seen 4 doctors, 2 said I’m probably bipolar one said I might have a mild form of sz and one diagnosed me schizoaffective. I want to kill myself. Nobody talks to me unless I take these fucking pills, when I do it’s like I invite energy back into myself. I don’t want to keep taking fucking pills I want my brain to be normal without them. I’m fat, look so unhealthy. I used to love people now I dread everyone including my family. I’m at rock bottom. I don’t use drugs anymore, just these fucking meds and I want to be able to sustain great conversation, do work well and live life without them. I truly feel like I have been shut out of heaven, doomed and condemned to a life of eternal suffering. Killing myself would 2000000% be the better option than live this hell on earth. I can’t tell if it’s the APs that have made me this stupid anymore or if I actually have a degenerative brain disease. My doc is working to change my diagnosis but I still had the discussion and have thought I’m schizophrenic. I used to have millions of friends, so happy and lived life to the fullest. Now I get no joy out of anything

First of all, let me tell you that you are not alone. There are many people who are like you. I know not many people understand it but that's on them not you. I would try to seek out people who are dealing with the same things you are & try to talk to them & perhaps you guys can help each other. Secondly, you are never better off dead. This will get better eventually & you want to be here to witness it. Third, if you personally feel better without the pills then I would wean off of them as going cold turkey may lead to withdrawal. Your doctor will tell you how to safely wean off of them. Fourth, I would give marijuana a try to see if it levels you out or makes you feel better. It is a remedy for so many mental disorders & physical ailments I'd imagine it could possibly help you in this case though I am not a cannabis expert. Fifth, I would think about the things that you have enjoyed doing the most in your life whether it's playing certain sports or whatever it may be & I would force myself to take part in them. Give yourself some positives to build off of. Like even volunteering somewhere, force yourself to do it & you'll give yourself a sense of accomplishment & make you feel like you have a purpose again, which you do. Also, you should talk to your family & patch things up with them as best as possible bc having a support system is the most important thing. And finally, if you're not happy w/ the way you look force yourself to go to the gym & change it. You said you want to kill yourself, well you're going to have to fight for your life now. It's not going to be easy but it's something you just have to do. To me, it sounds like you had a terrible trip but I don't see that as being what's still bothering you. I think the symptoms of the trip is what's bothering you. The goals you have in life that you're not accomplishing, your physical fitness, relationships, etc. You may find that those things aren't what they used to be & that along with your pills are leaving you depressed & numb. I am not a doctor nor is this an official diagnosis but it's my best guess that you can put that bad trip behind you if you start filling your life w/ positive things & positive people that at least try to understand you & will take this journey with you through friendship or through a relationship. I wish you the best of luck, I'm new here so I don't know if you can privately message people but if you ever need anything like someone to talk to, you can message me, if possible. Don't give up. Please don't give up.

 

[EUPH0RiCRUSH]

I get despondent when there are many people here who don't seem to have figured out options to avoid psychosis and curb abuse of psychedelics.


There's too many substances of varying strengths and interactions with possible pre existing conditions to take psychedelics willy nilly.


Also with getting help when the damage has been done, you might not find someone who will be beneficial due to their attitude toward drug use. They would treat many who have come off second best and drug I duced psychosis sufferers can be uncooperative.


Its not possible to diagnose anything while you are affected by drugs , 6 months off any recreational drugs (or any not prescribed) is usually needed before even beginning that.

Psychiatrists are there mostly to monitor your response to medication they prescribed and adjust that accordingly. A diagnosis is made based on their observations of you and can change.


You might not agree with what they suggest and should keep an open mind , find a relatable psychologist who you like and can also work with your psychiatrist.


Anti psychotics are the lesser if the 2 evils if you consider being psychotic an option , which it isn't if you want to get better

You might not wanna hear this but taking recreational drugs is what got you into this. Theres a number if websites that have guidelines and tips for safe use, technically there isn't much of an excuse for just going to town on anything then melting your brain.


Since you are not feeling great as it is, its probably time to change to tic and give the professionals the stage, give it a chance and not self medicate anything as you could get worse

.

While I agree, it's better to be numb than despondent I hate when someone gives their problem or issue for people's advice then you always got that one guy who points out that it was their fault that they're here in the first place. Well no shit, nowhere is he blaming someone else. It's like today I posted a thread asking for help in hitting a vein bc I'm absolutely miserable that I keep missing. Now obviously it's my fault for even doing it in the first place but now that isn't very helpful advice is it? It's like people just cannot help but say: "Well if you weren't so stupid this wouldn't have happened." It's like someone MUST say that even though it's a useless thing to point out. Unless the person is in denial. Or asking whose fault it is. I also agree though with what you said about the psychiatrists. You weren't incorrect in your post, just a little unnecessary info.

 

[Zephyn]

Hopefully I'm not making this post about 2cb next week... but I doubt it.

But as for non psychedelic drugs induced psychosis, I've been thrown on 3 or 4 different drugs which coming off of was worse than the psychosis in the first place - tho maybe a bit less dangerous. Very irresponsible to prescribed long term antipsychotics for acute episodes it doesn't even make sense.

 

[Zephyn]

Are you sure they made you schizo though? I didn't read the whole thread thoroughly but many times the phenomenon encountered on psychedelics can be quite real compared to a delusional tweaker which is more like schizophrenia