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Michaelm here new to this an excited, however going thru some hard times rite now an really could use some advice!!

Michaelm

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 26, 2020
Messages
3
Good morning everyone I'm not sure exactly how this works but at this point, I'm just going to try. I'm addicted to fentyle for almost a year, I've been on both methadone an Suboxone don't really care for either of them. I've tried coming off this sh.. cold turkey but it's like nothing I've felt before with coming off of heroine, I can only make it about a day. I just found out I'm going to be a grandpop an really need to come clean, I hate this. My wife is in recovery an I no it's just a matter of time she'll probably relapse and I can't have that, I'd never forgive myself. Yesterday I was watching on T.V. Special Victims unit S V U an they had this boy hooked on opioids an in sort the doctor took him to a clinic an have him take Ibogaine an in a matter of hours when he came to he had no withdrawal or cravings, I wish they had clinic's like that here but they don't all's they have is methadone or Suboxone an I don't want that. I don't even do this to get high anymore cause I dont want to, I just can't take the pain. Could anyone please give me any advice.
 
Hi michaelm welcome :)

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling, props for finding the motivation to want to change your life.

First thing to say is that ibogaine treatment isn't something you go in to lightly, you're talking about potentially resetting your entire psyche and coming out of the experience as a very different person to the one that went in. Of course that can be both a good and a bad thing, and this combined with the fact that such treatments are essentially entirely unstudied amongst mainstream academia and totally unregulated means that this is the sort of thing that you should only really consider when other options have been exhausted at the moment.

Why didn't you like maintenance therapy? Did you try and taper down working towards a detox when using methadone or bupe?

As I'm sure you are aware there's no easy answer to this conundrum, there are some basic pathways that you can look at though:

Continue using as you are now.
Get on a maintenance therapy and just accept that you'll be on it for either life or a long period and do nothing more at the moment.
Get on a maintenance therapy and then when you are stable start tapering down to make a detox at a later date easier.
Try to detox yourself at home.
Do an inpatient detox.
Do an inpatient detox followed by resedential treatment (rehab).

Which of these might appeal to you will depend on many different things. It will probably help you separate the idea of detoxing from the idea of being in recovery from drug addiction, just doing a detox is unlikely to solve your drug problem (statistically speaking).
 
Thanks for your thoughts but was also thinking about Kratom, can't do methadone or subs.
 
Why not? I'm not saying you're wrong but I'm interested in why? Theres loads of food reasons I'm wondering what yours are?

What makes you think kratom will be better than those?
 
Hi michaelm welcome :)

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling, props for finding the motivation to want to change your life.

First thing to say is that ibogaine treatment isn't something you go in to lightly, you're talking about potentially resetting your entire psyche and coming out of the experience as a very different person to the one that went in. Of course that can be both a good and a bad thing, and this combined with the fact that such treatments are essentially entirely unstudied amongst mainstream academia and totally unregulated means that this is the sort of thing that you should only really consider when other options have been exhausted at the moment.

Why didn't you like maintenance therapy? Did you try and taper down working towards a detox when using methadone or bupe?

As I'm sure you are aware there's no easy answer to this conundrum, there are some basic pathways that you can look at though:

Continue using as you are now.
Get on a maintenance therapy and just accept that you'll be on it for either life or a long period and do nothing more at the moment.
Get on a maintenance therapy and then when you are stable start tapering down to make a detox at a later date easier.
Try to detox yourself at home.
Do an inpatient detox.
Do an inpatient detox followed by resedential treatment (rehab).

Which of these might appeal to you will depend on many different things. It will probably help you separate the idea of detoxing from the idea of being in recovery from drug addiction, just doing a detox is unlikely to solve your drug problem (statistically speaking).

This is spot on advice from someone who knows what they're talking about.

I'm also an addict or what you call a recovering addict. I was using Heroin mostly,then went onto Buprenorphine maintenance which worked a treat at getting me stable and away from that lifestyle.

After six years of tapering I just couldn't get off the bupe and didn't like being on it anymore,so switched to kratom. At first it felt wonderful and I felt better than being on bupe,it still feels better. I now just want to be free of addiction and will be using Ibogaine hcl in a few weeks time at home with a sitter.

As CATINTHEHAT said it's not something to go into lightly,it's something I've been researching for a long time and something I've known about for years. I need a complete reset and this is the drug to do it. To be honest I'm really apprehensive,which for me is not the norm,usually I go head first into drugs,but not this one.
 
I'm also considering something similar for myself even though I haven't been dependant on opiates or benzos for about five years now.

I have spent many years trying other routes and really committng to them though, using psychedelic drugs is a last resort for the aforementioned reasons.
 
How did u kick your habit in the end cat. Tapering of maintenance therapy. Self taper, which never works for me, having the willpower for that is something else. I have great willpower but that's anather level. If I recall u moved Away. Which I know I would need to do. But that's a tough one as my work, family etc. Would be hard to leave. Anyway good to see u back. Or maybe u never left. It me who's back
 
My final opiate kick I jumped off 24mg of bupe which I had been on for about six months to start stabilising my life and just rode it out at home with loads of meds. This was halfway through tapering a diazepam habit(prescribed and supervised) which I then continued to taper for another six months or so and then detoxed the last 10mg at home. After doing this I had a few months of flirting with diazepam and weaker opiates as my shoulder was completely fucked, I then had it reconstructed and was on stronger opiates for a few weeks that I started to abuse. I realised what was happening and nipped that in the bud before it took over again.

Just before the shoulder op I entered in to a relationship and then just after I decided to spend a few months living with a parent away from where I had been living and using, that turned in to two years during which time I got a job and got some promotions and started living a fairly normal life completely drug free (other than weed and once or twice doing a bit of blow). After two years it became clear I needed to come back to London if I wanted the relationship to continue, that was about three years ago. Since then I had stayed clean other than a handful of use ups until the beginning of December last year when I lost the plot with crack, but I'm in a good place again. I keep falling down but I keep getting back up and the falls are becoming easier to deal with.

Things haven't been perfect over the last five years, but in comparison to what was going on for the five years before that it's night and day. I'm a totally different person now in some ways, I've changed and learned much. I feel like I'm actually becoming a real functioning human being with emotions and powers of empathy and that jazz now lol

So that's the narrative of my recovery, but if you asked me what has actually been responsible for my life getting better and me staying relatively clean it's this:

Do you have any of the things that are stimulus for good mental health in you life, for instance:

A job
A routine
Good family relationships
A healthy intimate relationship
Financial security
Personal interests
A social life (that doesn't centre around drugs)
Health and reasonable level of physical fitness

My experience has been that if you don't have a good number of these things (it's not necessary to have them all) then it's very unlikely that you will be happy if you don't take drugs. When I started to put in positive action to start creating those things in my life then everything changed, before I had just been trying to stop using drugs and getting stuck in a cycle of relapse. When you think about it, if you don't have any of those things in your life then OF COURSE you're going to relapse at some point. These are the things that do to help us feel like we have identity and purpose in life, and if you don't do them then you're naked against the harsh realities and experiences of life and will probably revert to that thing that you know will give you a feeling of security.


I know that all that can seem like a big ask when you're in the middle of active addiction, but if achieving a good number of those things seems a long distance away then you may be a good candidate for a replacement therapy (pending further investigation) as this can stabilise your life and allow you to start creating those structures whilst working towards a detox, and then when you are finally clean you already have some of those defence systems up and running to help protect you against living life without opiates.

Just something to think about for you, but I promise it works.
 
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