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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

(Methamphetamine [IV/oral]) Junky Fiend - 262,992 Hours: Diagnosis; and, Thrombosis

He quit, or tried to, a while ago. Not sure if he stayed clean because he then got himself banned from the site.
 
He was clean from meth for a good while before he got banned, as far as I know. Wish I knew how he is, I always enjoyed his presence in the forums.
 
I used methamphetamine for the first and only time a few months ago. It was after work, I'd say around 11PM. I had the next two days off. A female friend of mine was living with me at the time and she shot up all the time. My goal was to get her off of it but I also wanted to try it just one time to see why she absolutely had to have it, but I was always too scared. I suffer from pretty bad anxiety so I was always scared to try it and she would not let me shoot it. She didnt even want me to use it. She had a friend over and they were smoking it this time. Well she decided to take a hit and blow the smoke into my mouth and I inhaled it. I then proceeded to smoke about a quarter all to myself. (I dont even know if that is a lot or not.) At first I didnt think I could feel anything, not even after I smoked all that. I was used to seeing her clinch with that jolt of excitement after every shot she took so I guess I was expecting something similar to that. Well that jolt never came. I remember just sitting there not feeling anything at all. And that's when I realized something had definitely happened...because I was still sitting in the same spot just staring at absolutely nothing for about an hour. We then decided to hit up the casino. We were at the casino for about 3 hours and i was doing the same thing the entire time, just staring with my eyes wide open. When we got home she left with her friend and I just sat there in the same chair just browsing the internet all night. I never got tired nor did I ever get hungry. The next day rolls around and I am still wide awake. By early evening the next day I was still wide awake but I began to get hungry but I had no desire to eat anything at all. Even later that night I felt like I wanted to sleep but I couldnt. I couldnt even make myself get into bed to try and sleep. All the effects ended around noon on the second day after I smoked. I never felt the excitement or the rush that my friends did. All I ever felt was weird and paranoid as hell. I am curious if this is a typical reaction for a first timer or is there any other explanation as to why I didnt get the same euphoria as everyone else seems to get from using methamphetamine?
 
New IV User

Alright, so recently started using IV - Due to cleaner method of administration. Anyways ; My veins specifically are very tricky (they tend to 'hide' after a missed poke or two/they roll/they 'spider' erratically... hence, I have very few places to use. I have yet to master the method of pulling back or pushing though. But I can hit myself almost every time, and while I was home alone earlier today I gathered the courage to attempt to hit myself on my breast. Everything went somewhat smooth, but afterwards my whole breast ached / can see where the blood pooled underneath my skin (due to going all the way through during my first poke)/ and it's tender. However during my 'pull back' the blood flowed in steadily as far as I could see, and unfortunately - I couldn't tell if there was any pain during. I was so nervous that I couldn't tell if my shot was going to my head or my adrenaline spiked due to 'terror'...

ADVICE PLEASE.
 
Xorkoth said:
He was clean from meth for a good while before he got banned, as far as I know. Wish I knew how he is, I always enjoyed his presence in the forums.
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Just wondering if you knew why he was banned?
 
ovo1024 said:
Just wondering if you knew why he was banned?
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He intentionally began trolling and spamming the board to get himself banned as some kind of misguided protest regarding the BL policy of not deleting accounts irreversibly (or something along these lines)
 
The Risk Outweighs the Buzz

[MENTION]
My brother and I were both shooting meth for quite some time. After about a year my arms were covered in knots from missing my veins, I even had to go to the E.R. to have it lanced. My veins are ruined. Not long after this my bro started having severe pain in his lower back, turns out he had a blood infection from shooting the shit and he was in the hospital for 4 months. It's totally not worth the risk for that few minutes of instant gratification8)
[/MENTION]
 
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ForEverAfter said:
I used to believe I was immortal. Every time I should have overdosed or died, the universe divided itself in two. I continue to exist in both of them. Dead, and alive. Even though I die, I live. So, from my perspective, the living me that is, I simply continue to live regardless of how reckless I am towards my health. Because the dead me has no perspective, perception doesn't split upon a decision being made. There are not too different versions of me. When it comes to death, there is me on one side and nothing on the other. So, I do not split. The living me remains constant. And I continue, despite dying an infinite number of deaths. This was the only explanation that made sense. The amount of damage I was able to sustain contradicted what I had been taught. I can survive, indefinitely, without food or sleep? Isn't the human body supposed to be vulnerable? What's going on, here? Hence, the immortal multiverse theory.

Now, I am starting to realize that the human body is not immortal; starting to realize that I have been lied to, and the dangers of drugs exaggerated. The problem with this sort of white lie appears non-existent to the non-user. Anti-drug activists, with the best of intentions, cannot begin to understand the mind of a tweaker. They could not predict the immortal multiverse theory.

Take a village elder. He tells the children not to go beyond the village limits. He says, "If you go beyond the village limits, you will instantly die." Then one day, a curious child does; and, upon not dying, they think, "What if there is no danger?" They think, "maybe I'm impervious; maybe I'm immortal." They leave the village, and travel the world. With every step, their immortality grows. Until, finally, on the other side of the continent, they leap into the mouth of a volcano.

This applies, from my experiences, to the addictive properties of heroin. Growing up, you hear ridiculous statements like: "After the first hit, you'll be hooked." Then you have the first hit, and you're not hooked. And you think, "Why the fuck should I believe anything those cunts told me?"

Personally, I don't have an issue with opiates.

Shooting meth for 29 days straight is as close as I've come to that volcanic villager dive.

Sometimes I need to remind myself that I may not be immortal... though, I will forever remain unconvinced.
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Interesting, that's the first time I heard someone else entertained that notion... although I never really believed that, just wondered about it.
 
Wow, missed that part, I have often speculated on that too, ever since I was a kid. Like, in many alternate universes I'm dead. Like we all experience life forever but maybe to some iterations of some people we have died. I know I've had some crazy close calls, not with drugs but with near-accidents/falls/etc.
 
ForEverAfter said:
I postponed writing the conclusion of this trip report for a long time, because I never stopped using long enough to satisfy myself that it was over. The report, itself, has been used as emotional blackmail against myself. I need to finish writing it. And I can't finish if I don't get high. Since I wrote and posted part six: I tried to kill myself; got lost briefly in the local countryside; started injecting heroin to compensate for lack of meth, and then later as a cheap alternative; got a girlfriend; went on a methadone program; and many other wonderful surprises. Planning on kicking everything, cold, by the 1st of May. I've been writing Part 3 & Parts 7 through 12. Should post it pretty soon. Two weeks, I reckon.
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I just recently did meth for the first time and after reading a lot of what you've written I was wondering if you could message message or email me?
 
He was going through a difficult time and asked to be banned because he didn't want to use BL anymore and found the possibility of being able to log in too great a temptation. Unfortunately the site has a policy to not ban people on request, leaving the responsibility up to the user to just stop coming to BL if they don't want to use it. So he went on a posting rampage, posting really intense and disturbing pornographic images all over the site, which caused him to get enough infractions to perma-ban him. Unfortunately now due to policy if he ever creates another account those will be banned on sight.

He got what he wanted at the time, I wish it had gone down differently because he was a great contributor. But he knew what he was doing, did it on purpose. Still a shame IMO.
 
What a shame - such good writing quality. He has so much potential.
 
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