Meth-psychosis stories.... you know you have one..

I'll keep it short. Only my second and last time ever doing meth. Was IVing it and thought there were cops and dogs busting my door down. Flushed $500 worth of heroin and some psychedelics. Nobody was in my house. Never did it again. Worst hangover/comedown. I've ever had from any drug hands down.
 
Fun Fact of the day. Gecko shit tastes nothing like crystal - but can look identical on day 6. Also burns like shit. Will tile the place tomorrow. Clean fresh start - no more carpets - nothing can hide then. Also the no, maybe and yes piles can have their own tile. Shit won't mix causing me to start again.

sigh...tiles are so expensive.

Actually the kitchen has tiles - will just go sit there....

Anywho - better leave before the owners get back....

P.S. Some harm reduction : Always wear knee pads. Meth can cause severe carpet burns. Either that or get tiles...... or don't run out of Meth.

For those interested - I find that the female Gecko shit melts better with a very pretty crackback ....but it's still shit though...so..
 
One time I was so deep in amphetamine psychosis I went into a walk in clinic and told the doctor that my dick was falling off ( and I really believed it was). A lot of wild shit happened that weekend... thought doorknobs were part of a government plot to spy on me, thought cars were talking to me, saw a giant phoenix flying through the sky, saw tiny little transparent men swordfighting on the ground.
 
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One time I was so deep in amphetamine psychosis I went into a walk in clinic and told the doctor that my dick was falling ( and I really believed it was). A lot of wild shit happened that weekend... thought doorknobs were part of a government plot to spy on me, thought cars were talking to me, saw a giant phoenix flying through the sky, saw tiny little transparent men swordfighting on the ground.
What did the doctor tell you? Did he or she laugh? Or had they heard it all before?

The very last time I ever took Dexedrine I took 15mg, read an entire 800 page textbook for a history exam in University in an entire day, studied for the exam, drove to a nearby town with a friend, bought a sports drink with vitamins while drinking lots of water, I drove my friend home, went back and got a headache and sort of felt dizzy despite forcing myself to eat food, went to sleep, saw a rainbow dragon in sort of a half awake/asleep/dreaming state, and got up and read until the Dexedrine wore off. I probably drank some green tea and then went back to sleep. This was not psychosis at all.
 
15mg aint that much dex. this is when I was 15 and I did a lot of meth ( this was one of my first times) but I had wanted to acquire meth for some times. then I swallowed a handful of ativan and thats when the show really began Cant go into much detail now but when I was sitting with the doctor I couldnt even focus on him I was too focused on the avalance behind im... anyway in essence he said get the fuck out of here and stop doing drugs lol. not one of my proudest moments.
 
I’ve never had a full blown psychosis (at least not from meth) but I did notice that towards the end of my long binge, when tolerance is through the roof and I can barely feel high, I still sometimes hear what seems like really faint radio signals. A few times I’ve had to get out of bed and go check all the speakers in the my apartment to make sure nothing was actually playing. It never was, until I got back into bed and tried to sleep again.

I was lucid enough to know it was a mind trick the meth was playing. But I can definitely understand why people start taking equipment apart to find out where the noise is coming from.
 
You're lucky mango, when I was younger meth made me chase squirrels all weekend long!! What a shitty drug in all honesty. kinda funny to look back on all the shit that happened but at the time not enjoyable at all...
 
Only with adderall, but my body is weird.. Done experimenting a long time ago. Never had hallucinations on shrooms or X etc.. 1st time i through jelly beans in the back yard to the circus ppl. Don't remember so much of that, but I did scare my friend shitless lol.. 2nd time I can't remember what I saw but I was lucid enough to lift my phone n see that I was having hallucinations.. it's been YEARS since I've done meth n when I did I could have n would have cleaned the planet 😂
 
My drug was Addies, but same difference. My biggest paranoia was all the Wifi connections in my neighborhood and the fact that one of my asshole neighbors named his connection FBI-Mobile. I spent many nights combing the streets and peering in parked vans to find the Feds in stake out to bust me
 
Only one that i can remember without on of the sober homies to recount,

really wild tweaked out buddy of mine that was always on bullshit pulls up at my crib & dude been awake easily 12-13
(at this time I’m like 17, so family home all that) not a good look for me off the jump

whole time he acting weird inside & as we’re walking out my front door with family in the next room he pretty much yells “yo look at this fcking pole I snagged!!” loud asf, grandma sitting in the room hearing every bit of it

i still went with him on some play it off like pole a new word for some other shit, we end up tweaking for like 2days but he had BEEN UP, I was fresh in on it.

had me pull up to sell one of the biggest plugs in my part of my area‘s son, in the middle of a major highway (but pretty dead atm) at like 3-4a.m. to bust rounds out my car for a fat sack

needless to say, hung out like twice more before he ended up getting hit & only ever saw him once more in county jail like a year later
 
Fortunately I never had any psychosis from meth. Id just do masive shots and masterbate for 2 or 3 days. Sometimes my dick would actually get hard. So i dont even know if i was actually masterbating or jjst flopping it around endlessly.
 
Just the standard seeing people in windows that aren't really there late at night type hallucination or optical illusion visual delusion very creepy one time I was with two friends tweaking in the middle of the night and we all saw the same figure that wasn't there dude
 
I was fully cooked with meth psychosis in the end
More to do with sleep deprivation and inability to put the pipe down.

It began with rats / mice in the house with the first episodes.
And progressed to shadow people / dark figures
Then from there I began to gain crazy concepts and ideas ..

Such as thinking people were living in the loft... people were reflecting laser beams in my eyes to blind me...I was being gang stalked...

The usual kind of stuff

It got very bad and I had to eventually stop using meth as everytime I did use it I seemed to only get bad effects!

One thing I do know. The brain does repair again over time with the right lifestyle.
It just takes years.
It's been 3 for me but delusions are a thing of the past for me thankfully.

P.s .. I have crazy stories of my times in psychosis but I won't rant on
 
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I have to laugh at this, as I've always wondered what causes some people to freak out while others are fine on the exact same amounts, but...

Anyway, some of my friends have never experienced problems. Others, however...

One friend thinks that someone keeps running up to his mixer and turning the knobs to fuck up his mixing (he's completely lost the ability to mix with any competence). Also, this girl "Betty", the love of his life, is always with him, talking to him, etc... No one has ever seen Betty, and especially not when we're with him and he's talking to thin air... Recently, he smashed his car into a parked car when he turned around to talk to her. I hate to say it, but he's basically gone insane, so we're trying really hard to get him to therapy or something (I'm not in the area right now, as I'm at college, so there's not much I can do).

One of my really good friends starts to think that everyone else is speaking in a "secret code" and that we're all talking shit on him. He, however, realizes that this happens only when tweaking, and thus he's trying to get over it. Personally, I think it's because he is intensely private and always conceals his true feelings, so he just starts thinking too much on meth and, well, you know...

Lastly, one of my best friends doesn't understand moderation, so he tends to get way more fucked up and for days at a time. Typically, at the tail end of a multiple day binge, he'll spend hours upon hours staring out the window, looking for cops. If we manage to trap him in a room w/out windows, he'll either "hear things" or resort to burning through multiple lighters trying to clean the pipe. One time, after being up more than a week, he and another buddy of mine stole a shotgun and a pistol from the guy's uncle. Evidently they thought they were in GTA or something. All that I can say is that I'm glad I wasn't there.
It seems to me that if I keep myself from more than one sleepless night, things pretty much tend to be just fine.
This is fucking awesome 🤩 and reminds me of my mainlining coke days 🤦🏽‍♀️
 
I have a few, 'enjoyable / comical' psychosis stories from the start of my habit. But believing funny shit, like the whole city I was in was all accepting of meth and was a cartoon once you've you've 'accepted' into it. Or my perception of this camper I was laying in was floating down a river and every bump felt like a pleasant tingly sensation. Yeah, some meth heads like to play fun with this, especially if you're gullible like I was. Here's some of the darkest shit that.. just unexplainable what it can do. My brain is still deciding if it'll be one of the "he was never the same again" meth users. even months sober before I relapsed yesterday (to focus on mundane no lifing Runescape, which supplies my drugs, and not what I'm about about say.) 2nd night rn.. knowing if I push too the 3rd.. Yeah. Meth really can fuck you over. I cant solve it.


I believed a bunch of people I know, from ex girlfriends too best friends.. even my parents, were trying too push me too kill myself. For months I 24 7 heard their voices laughing at the junkie I had become. I heard these people laughing and mocking about everything from me being raped too laughing at me while I'm literally praying and bawling that I hated meth. In an attempt to beg these voices that I'd quit if they'd 'allow' me to attempt cold turkey and getting a job, being normal. I quit cold turkey btw. The replies would be that the entire world hates me and wants me to die. I still can't go into public, again months sober, bc of how real this was for a year and a half. I just want to get a haircut... If I could, just a haircut.. I'd be happier than a hot rail. Swear to God.

Before that, I would heard my parents being tortured and raped by my brother and the dude I was 'dating' cause it was that or be homeless. Imagine.. hearing your mother say while crying "they threw rocks at me." The realistic emotion behind her words.. I was sexually assaulted, a few times which is why I made sure to use too always be awake and alert. Meth took me to a house where if you do your occasional 1/2 day crash, you could be standing in a grocery store and out of nowhere.. sperm ejects from your butt. Yeah. In no way is that to sound a joke in any way. Waking up too someone ya know uh.. You get it.

Don't forget, your a meth head. If you're tweaking, especially too people who luckily haven't experienced meth, no matter what you are bawling too your parents trying to avoid a full explanation of what's going on, you can't leave thus situation unless you go to rehab. Or can go any length of time without any 'out there' pleas for someone to believe you.

My situation, I was working at a car wash with a 'roomate' that was stealing my paychecks by switching out MY routing and whatever form for direct deposits, too his cash app. I call my boss like.. where's my money why haven't I been paid?! Until they ignored me. "If i was stealing your money, I'd do it right in front of you." I got so mad and wanted too make a statement as too how bothered I was always waiting for a paycheck to be able to leave that hell.. I took a razor blade to my wrist twice in front of this dude. He proceeded to bitch that he'd had to to buy gauze and an ace bandage. I honestly didn't think it'd open my arm as much as it did but. Yay meth.

If you have real trauma, or even strong enough fears, meth can fucking amplify in its own ugly evil way.

Another incident that won't leave my mind is this dude holding this mirror that had a guy with a magnifying glass, with the words "some or us look closer than others." He told me to hold it against the wall, and I remember thinking I seen my mom. There's no way to explain the state and condition the look on her face was.. Her eyes looked as if she had already begged for death. The first and only time I experienced anything that without words or explanation, said the ugliest, saddest..

Wanna know how I got out of that situation? The police officers who would commonly have to come out to my 'episodes' that refused to arrest even me, (they believed I genuinely had a mental condition.) There was one officer who had shown up too a welfare check my mother called in, seen me before ever meeting this person or absuing meth to the extent I did. He wouldn't ever arrest me. I tried so many times. I vandalized the where I worked (my 'boss' I knew would try to press charges.) I walked into this gas station place called Casey's, went behind the deli counter destroying everything screaming I wasn't going to stop and fuck everybody YadaYada, kicked in every door in an apartment building.. etc.

We were staying in a camper cause this person wasn't allowed around their mom who we stayed with over am incident where he hit her with a 2x4..
When he'd go anywhere, he'd put a padlock on the camper door so I couldn't leave. I was maybe 100lbs so after an incident where for the millionth time I'm reacting too non stop psychosis, hatred for this person, him egging it on.. he threw a fire extinguisher at me so i threw it back and was in one of my "I'm going to do whatever my brain wants cause ignoring it was just not possible" (usually when id try to get arrested or purposely break or trash anything around me. Freak out. I had a hatred for phones and electronics cause I had been told there's a website all about trying to grt me to kill myself, and believing the usual meth user camera paranoia with the extra suicide goal attached with it..) But he went to get cigarettes and I tried kicking the lock off the hinge, then managed too pop the windows out and climb out. I went to the police station, said "I cant do this anymore." And they bought me a bus ticket home.

With a cop calling my mom saying "yeah now would be a good time to take him from the situation he's in" or whatever, she sort of couldn't say no. This officer made the DMV give me a paper copy of an ID after they had already closed, by the way without any hassle on not having any required shit to get the ID. Paid for a taxi to take me to a bus station, bought the ticket and I was finally away. Not that the psychological effects or addiction was staying there..

I never once 'snitched' on this dude. I never, still now, haven't fully described or even deciphered what was real and what wasn't on some things experienced there.

Wanna know why and how people "never are the same again?"

It doesn't matter what is real and what was hillicinated or just in your mind.. You can't undo the reactions, guilt, confusion, shame... Reactions too 'hell' for lack of an adjective to describe what I'm trying to say. You lived it, real or not. Your body and your mind has had to deal with situations meth abuse can lead you into or make you believe.

I'll never truly know.. Nobody will admit if they sexually assaulted or mentally tortured someone.

As well as the ones I mentioned above, I believed I was kidnapped and guinely remember having to heal for a week in bed from it. I remember having meth injected all over my body because I threw a fit I couldn't hit and dude could easily and kept describing how he felt and I wanted that feeling. (IV meth BURNS if you miss a vein. You know that's what is burning your skin.)
Honestly, did I imagine that? Doesn't matter. I cant tell anybody, even in a safe therapy type setting to heal cause my brain will not, it cannot discuss in any way these situations. It's trained itself not too or I face consequences. Usually 3-7 day psych ward stays.

Stay the fuck away from meth. I 'loved' this drug. I accepted in my first few months of using that I wouldn't mind if it killed me. I'm high rn.. Justifying my use because I dream about this shit and relive things that spark my brain to seek comfort or 'feel good.' Guess what it wants, and at the same time is screaming no no no. Can't describe it.

To be blunt.. I get scared or exhausted from my sober brain trying to conceal this shit. Plus the damage from meth ontop of it.. Clinging too "I'm 18 months my brain can recover and go back to normal."

When I decide I no longer care about anything besides escaping dreaming or my head having constant intrusive thoughts that sabotage myself.
Again, having to act externally fine so I'm not subject for a psych ward or a 'consequence'. This is usually where thoughts of suicide become calming bc death = no mind no brain no this.

Im scared to die, I have a problem with risking going to hell. Plus, since my delusions were my friends egging me to do this, contimating or weighing suicide as an option or out can bring on some of the psychological shit if I can't go thru with it.

I give in, same time scared asf and disappointed and angry I know I'm going to use so for 1/2 days I can zone out on mundane shit. Usually making beats or playing runescape.

And that's where I am right now. 2nd night tonight, it's morning so I know I'll just stay up. But if tonight, I'm still up. Yeah, psychosis.

I feel like I'm fighting my hardest to avoid accepting ill 'never being the same again,' and hoping I can keep it internalized for my lifetime and I can act like the me who I was before this.

Like I said.. I know some of the delusions are just that. I know I did experienced some negative shit, but don't know, see what I mean...? If I wouldn't have ever decided to do meth, NONE of this would be my life.
 
Shadow people are spawns of the devil.... or wait, I mean sleep deprivation
I haven't met many people are aware of this but the Shadow people you start to see at around day three or four is actually you seeing your brow line peripherally from your eyes being sunk in on account of dehydration. keep yourself hydrated and it's not much of a worry
 
You should be careful because my sentiments almost identically mirrored yours immediately before I was using meth daily for over 2 years.
it started the same way for me as well. I didn't really like it at all the first couple times I did it, and then before I knew it, almost 3 years of excessive and almost daily meth use had came and then gone, along with the love of my life, my children and my self respect.
 
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