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  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

meth binges

The longets meth binge I have ever had was about 3 weeks. I only remember the first nine or ten days though and my mate filled me in on the rest. By about the 8th day I started to get into a state that I did'nt know if I was asleep dreaming or awake.

My friend had gone out for a while (possibly to work) and came back to find me all dressed up in his clothes, wearing aftershave and looking shmick. He apprently asked me what the fuck I was doing and I replied that I had to look my best as the pawnbroker was comming over to buy the marble sphere and I wanted the best price possible.

I remember though that my birthday was comming up and I thought my friend had put on a dark gabba rave for me, I heard the music, I was there, until I came to and a female friend of mine was crying in front of me asking what was I doing to myself.

This of course did'nt stop me from the binge though. Another freaky thing that happened was I somehow convinced myself that I had become poisoned, I had lost so much weight that I could see very clearly the veins in my hands.

I thought the veins were swelling up and were about to explode, I put two and two together and realised it was because I was being poisoned.

Unfortunately I also thought I was locked in my friends unit and I ended up crying for a few hours until he arrived home. He asked me again what the fuck I was doing and I explained that I had become poisoned and I could'nt get out of the unit to seek urgent medical advice.

He gave me a shot and I was better for a time.

A few days later another friend came running into the unit. He had also been awake for a very long time and he convinced us that the feds were in the palm trees out in the yard.

So needless to say we packed shit and ended up staying at a motel for the night until the feds had gone.

While all of this was happening my pet cat had to be put down. I had him for about 8 years and he was a very good friend to me, but I could'nt face going home to see mum and watching my cat/friend die.

So I used even more.

I decided that I was going to go home, and Mum had offered me a lift. (she knew I was getting fucked up and wanted me home)
When she picked me up she broke down and started crying, I asked her what was wrong and she said that I looked like a grey skeleton.

This happened about 5 years ago when I was dealing rather large ammounts of meth and disco biccies.

I am 6"2' and I had dropped to 54kgs, I am now back up to about 73, but as I have just gotten aout of rehab I still need to gain about another 5kgs then I will be happy :)

It's going to take a fair bit of recovery as I have been shooting speed for about 11 years (I am 26) and I know I have done permanent damage to myself, but I never want to go near the devils drug again.

I found myself emotionless with absolutely no empathy when I used, I would walk around with a scowl on my face, which I was'nt aware of, and I look older than I am.
I have also been on dexamphetamine for the past year and a half (no longer mind you) so that could also be classed as my longest speed binge LOL

Just be careful kiddies, it's an evil, souless drug that WILL make you a souless person.

I forgot to mention that just before I went into rehab it was not uncommon for me to have half to 3/4 gram shot's of meth. This was not crappy meth either, it was good crystal that some people were trying to sell as ice.
I found ice to be more insightful and I would have profound moments of life changing clarity on it, but I also went fucking nuts from it.
Dexies (dexamphetamine sulphate) is still my favourite upper.
 
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I'm hesitant to even comment in this thread, but I've done some pretty bad things with meth. I to would have probably done more in some situations had it not been the thought of hundreds and hundreds of dollars going up in smoke.

I find meth is the one drug I can binge on, and its scared me more than once how it can take hold. I don't think the drug can steal your soul though, its more a personal thing. Meth is a powerful drug and it has effects far greater than just a stimulant. I can't see the same thrill with amphetamines or any other drug really.

I've had binges which lasted weeks, but with normal function in between and scattered, restless sleep throughout so I don't know if that counts in your competition. A toke before bed and then more as soon as you wake up is kind of continuing to binge I guess.

I've totally reassessed my life and my drug taking during some of my more serious withdrawls. Meth can destroy your life if you let it. It can also help you wake up to your own addictive personality as you watch yourself spiral out of control. If you have the strength to stand up that is.....

Respect the dragon.

keep things on topic and friendly
 
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Perhaps both of you need a cold shower; I see irrational behaviour and comments left, right and centre.

I do not propose to add much more myself as clearly it is a rather personal topic. If I agree with SteveElektro on one thing it is that the individual is responsible for what he or she does and does not need to be judged. That does not mean however that they should not listen to others opinions and occasionally their advice.


Most of all I'd like to thank rm1x for sharing that with us. That is a harrowing tale and you should be commended for getting through it and emerging from it a wiser person and one who can perhaps educate others first hand on your own experiences. If they still choose to do it despite what has happened to you then there is not much else that you could do.

Your story is similar to others I have heard including some I have witnessed first hand although not experienced myself. Those alone and my own "relationship" with the drug in question are enough to mean I personally will never journey down that road - whether you call it a road of enlightenment, destruction or nothingness is up to you. The road you take is your choice but do not assume there won't be some signposts positioned along the way. They only offer a possible direction - it is up to the individual whether they follow them, refuse to even look, or consider it and choose the alternative.

Rm1x welcome to Bluelight.
 
Yes I must concur biscuit, cheers rm1x for sharing such a personal information with us. It takes a strong man to battle what you've been through. Best of luck with the recovery process!
 
^^ yes that was a good read rm1x, even if it did have me cringing at some parts. Ghastly stuff the old delusional paranoia.


In relation to Biscuit's comments on the type of character associated with binge sessions, and no sleep; I agree generally on what you've said - most people who are not night owls, never become them - but exceptions do occur, of which I must certainly be. I'm not talking about extended multi-day sessions but more the odd extended period involving no sleep over 24-36 hours or so.

As I said earlier, I hated the thought of a sleepless night when I was younger. I never seemed to function properly the next day without a solid 8-9 hours. That's why my one long period was never repeated. I remember the nights following that time, where I was so glad to be tucked up going to sleep at 9-00pm. Security, safety and no need to be on guard :|

But as time goes on, different things occur in a persons sleeping & waking habits. I was always a light sleeper, but as time has gone on I sleep much more deeply than I used to. I still dream and wake to a pin drop as I always have - foiled the odd attempted burglary in my time, I have - but I now (at this age) feel very well slept on 6-7 hours. Any more and it has the effect mogadon does; I'm dreary and half asleep all day.

So these days, the occasional meth induced 24 hours doesn't seem to affect me adversely at all, providing of course the food/water, vits, mins, aminos etc are kept up. I find I sleep very soundly after a period awake, and 2 nights of 6-7 hours has me feeling completely back on track. If I do overdo it - too wired for sleep - and nothing natural works, I'll take 2.5mg of valium and be out like a light. However, if I ignore the warning signs and have more speed, the recovery period will produce much more devastating results, leaving me in an energy-less state, with joint pains and often some body shaking. So not only is it important for me that duration and dose are not exceeded, but that frequency of use is intermittent and irregular. Avoiding set patterns and I find any background temptation becomes be just that i.e. not an irresistible urge.


rm1x I'm interested to know if your dex use is part of a prescribed therapy support from meth withdrawal, or if it is prescribed for other reasons (hope this is not too personal). I ask because I know of a guy who is prescribed dex, using it occasionally to "beat any urge". Once being an IV user this makes quite a bit of sense IMO. I'm curious to know (again if it's not too up-front) if your usage of dex is regular and if so, has that increased or decreased since giving up meth? Feel free to PM if you'd rather - or call me nosey - I get it all the time ;) Thanks again for sharing your story.
 
Firstly I'd like to thank Biscuit and Jessos for you comments and warm welcome :)

Phase Dancer, when i was 17 I was diagnosed with ADD through the court system, I played up in court over an assault charge and the judge decided to find out what was "wrong" with me LOL

I had to go see 3 psychiatrists for the diagnosis as I had registered as an amphetamine addict some time beofre court and they needed firm confirmation beofre they prescribed me stimulant medication.

I actually did'nt stay on them until about 18 months ago, I was using far too much speed and I thought that if I got dexies I'd keep away from the gear. this worked up until a point, but I found myself using close to 30 dexies a day and I would run out, so I would have to supplement with speed.

I did find that it stopped the feeling of wanting to have shots all of the time, but I got just as hooked onto them as I did the whizzer... if not more so.

I refuse to go near them now, my girlfriend hates me when I am on them, she says that I am not the bright cheery hyper guy she first dated, I become almost robotic like from them.

My girlfriend has been so supportive over this, she understands that I was a drug addict, and always gave me a second chance, but after taking too much ice one night I was trying to kill her. People always think that they are "in control" when they use amphetamines, but the reality is that if you take too much you will get paranoia, psychosis and possibly even become violent like I did. I am a passive person, but I just lost it.
Because of this I ended up in court with a domestic violence order slapped on me from the police, I terrified my girlfriend, almost stabbed my best mate in the neck with a screwdriver (he's still really cool with me thank god) and now I can't forgive myself becuase of it, I am back living with my girlfriend, she knows I am a nice guy when I am not methed out.

In response to you Phase Dancer, I do think that prescribed stimulants are one good avenue to go down if you cant control the urge to use speed (IV), but ultimately you are just replacing one drug for another, albiet a cleaner safer drug.

The thing I find amusing is that people wont take dexies as they can't shoot them up. If they had any selfcontrol they would realise that popping a few pills will give them the same rush as injecting a a few points, it just takes a little longer for them to kick in.

One thing I must ad is that i found ICE to be very similar to Ritalin, it was quite bizzare in fact :)

I am no longer on any of the prescribed or illicit stimulants and nor shall I be ever again, any time I get an urge I remember the fear I saw in my girlfriends eyes and I remember the lowest part of my life and it quells any inkling of further speed usage :)

take care guys :)
 
Meth/Ice is a dirty drug, for the plain fact that it is so addictive, you feel invincible on it and you can't beat the feeling. I would get a gram every weekend and start smoking friday afta work and then finish up late sunday or just keep going till work on monday. I don't touch the shit anymore, to many friends + myself were off the rails, pshycosis, panic attacks and major paranioa of close friends. which lead to property re-possesions, stealing and dealing heavily to support the habit. They is nothing to be proud of if you've stayed up for a 5 - 7 nights, just look at yourself the next week, the effect it has on YOU, your work, your family, friends etc. I lost my job because of meth, failed a random drug test :-(. But hey speed in moderation and pills in an abundance.
 
...I terrified my girlfriend, almost stabbed my best mate in the neck with a screwdriver (he's still really cool with me thank god) and now I can't forgive myself becuase of it, I am back living with my girlfriend, she knows I am a nice guy when I am not methed out.
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Your worth is obviously respected. If those close to you have seen it fit to forgive you, then find it in yourself to forgive yourself. You effectively lift a weight from their shoulders as well. Your determination not to repeat is a lesson well learned, and true friends - those who love you unconditionally - see that easily. Your resolution here will greatly boost your abilities to help others.

In regards to amp for meth users, you are undoubtedly correct in regards to replacing one drug for another, but as you mentioned it perhaps does have a place as stepping stone to abstaining completely.

Thanks for sharing
 
I just wanna know what the hell does one DO being awake for so long... i mean... how boring... what is there to do for a whole week (or more) I dont mind a bit of meth every now and then, but there aint nothin better than sleep.... i looooove the stuff. oooh... its actually time for me to sleep now :| zzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
Well, it's like having 24 hours in a day instead of 16 hours. You can do pretty much whatever you want. I agree with the night owl theory...the people who've ever thought that sleeping is a waste of time and wants to get the most out of a day, would probably like meth...a lot.
It's like gaining several hours a day, you can use it to do whatever you couldn't do if you had gone to sleep. eg if work takes up most of your day, then the hours you borrow from meth can be used to do what you like. It'll be different for everyone - some use it to study, some use it to complete work, some use it to write etc
Who doesn't want more time? :)
 
more time in the short run, years off your life.... assuming you last long enough to grow grey.
 
speedygonzales said:
ok a freind of mine took 3 grams of ice in four days did'nt sleep in the fith day he rang up the cops and told them to come and bust him cause he thought somebody was comming ta kill him. one time I took 15 yaba pill in about 24 hours did'nt sleep for 3 days on the third day I was going nunts Felts like killing me self extreamly paranoid and depresed
Click to expand...

Your #1. I want to be like you, but I have respect for myself and a will to live. You on the other hand, do not.
 
I think the scary thing about Ice / Meth is how unpredictable it is. In 2001, a group of us went on a 3-day long weekend. This invovled pills, ice, weed, speed and for me, a couple of 2cb caps and a trip thrown in for good measure.

whilst i was able to sleep at the end of each night, after the 2nd day, my girlfreind and one of my best mates, who has a habit of trying to take more than the rest of the group himself (and always makes an arse of himself as a result) started to show signs of stress.

So i started cooking up a big breakfast, lots of fruit salad, we set up some bean-bags, had a few drinks (booze) and relaxed that morning - i took my mega-muncher freind aside and told him to give it a break for a few hours, and, not suprisingly (nowdays, back then it was), he took it on the chin, put the pipe away and joined in the chill-out session.

Within a couple of hours, everyone was asleep, except me (i had been the only one who slept on the previous two nights) so i went and played civiizliation 3, woke them up and off we went to the freestylers, and had an awesome arvo / night out!

I'm mentioning this because it shows a case were intervention stopped something from happening, and it would have... we people start sweating, shaking, blinking, randomly vacuming the hallway, polishing cushions, yes cushions, and so forth... they need to take a break!

Sometimes you need to have the guts to stop the people you are partying with from self-destructing, or at least create an envrioment where they will chill out, and snooze some.

JohnM
 
Thought I would raise an old thread as I stare at my screen and now 8 minutes into night two. My excuse at the moment is that I am writing a book and having a long train of thought Thought I'd just get a bit of journal going. Over the last few weeks 40,000 words. Kinda in the swing so figure I'll enjoy the sort of creative talk that sleep dep and dex can give.

Guess I thought I' share my longest binge and the downside. It went for 5 nights, 6 days on nothing but pills and meth. By the end lights were on and no one home. At a friends I remember one minute I was standing, the next I woke up on the couch in the pitch dark. Got up to walk to the door when I collapsed again could not see or stand. Felt like I was breathing through a straw, not a panic attack just like my throat was closed.

The next day my friends said one minute I was up and talking then I just blacked out. They had said I was looking ok, considering how long I'd been at it for. Your body is just not supposed to do shit like that, guess mine just shut down. I've since been told the feeling of breathing through a straw is one of the symptoms of WAY to much stims. Certainly I was guilty as charged on that front.

I'll never forget having to crawl not being able to see or breath properly and getting back to that couch a somewhat scared and humble humble man. Anyway something to add to my book

:)
 
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I've just recently gone on my first all-night session with speed and I see why people enjoy it. Going to work the next day had me feeling better than I did the day before (right after my first dose). I felt very directed and focused. I believe that some people get addicted to amphetamines because they see it as a way to self-medicate themselves and "solve" the concentration issues. I'll admit to have using Adderall/meth to study (usually not staying up past 3 A.M.) but I am looking for other drugs (like aniracetam, modafinil, and hydergene) to improve memory recall and increase attention span (and in particular, motivation).
 
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